Raelyn
"It was nice spending the day with you, Raelyn. I even learned a few things." Caterina said then giggled at the end. "I need to go home now, Stefano should be coming anytime soon." She said grabbing her purse. She hugged me before waving and leaving through the door.
Why was it so urgent for Caterina to go home?
She was acting more strange the longer we were in this house. Her bruise also kept reappearing in my head. It couldn't have been an innocent accident. I'll ask her about it when I get the chance.
One hour turned into two hours, then three. It was almost midnight and there was still no sure sign of the man that was supposed to be taking me out tonight. Caterina told me Stefano would be coming soon but I guess there was a change of plans I wasn't aware of.
When it was almost one in the morning, I decided to undress and wipe off my makeup. I was becoming tired and obviously Stefano had forgotten he was taking me out or was out of his right mind. I didn't feel like going out anyway. I just felt like snooping around the house and finding other interesting things to dig my nose in. I needed to remind myself to get new pajamas. These scanty dresses and robes did nothing to conceal my body and I preferred comfort.
I sat at the side of the bed Stefano slept on. I sniffed his pillow that smelled of his addicting cologne before pulling open his drawer. At this point I was just bored and looking for something to keep me occupied. I was actually surprised to see the King James Bible sitting inside the last drawer. I wondered when he had the actual time to read it. Then again, I wondered when the last time I read mine was.
Before I could reach in and pull it out the drawer, I heard approaching footsteps from the stairs. My eyes widened and I sat up on the bed. The door opened forcefully with Stefano coming in through. My jaw almost dropped from soaking in his appearance. Strands of his hair were out of place, he had a sunken look in his eyes, and just looked not himself.
I almost couldn't recognize him. His white shirt had an abundance of blood splatter on it that was seeping through his shirt and possibly sticking to his skin. He had blood smears on one side of his face and there was a tear in his shirt from the side. Still, he looked victorious and not stirred.
"Stefano...what happened?" I asked him, gripping the sheets tight. I wanted to go up to him but he didn't look approachable this moment in time. I was even scared myself.
"Forgive me for not following through with taking you out this night." Was all he said to me as he gave me a brief glance before storming into the bathroom. He looked pissed off and angry. That shower he was about to take would do us both good. The smell of old blood would disappear and the steam would calm him.
I couldn't fall asleep with how I saw Stefano.
Stefano came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. Just like always I turned my head and pretended I was occupied with something. Usually, he'd turn from whatever he was doing, to watch me step out the bathroom in hopes I didn't leave with a towel.
He said nothing to me as he slipped on boxer-briefs and got in the bed. I accidentally bit down on my bottom lip. I thought he would be rolling onto his side of the bed but instead he crawled towards my direction and towered over me.
"Are you...alright?" I asked him as calmly as I could. Instead of answering me, Stefano claimed my lips and massages his lips over mine, rather urgently. I couldn't keep up with his demand, but I at least tried.
"Raelyn, please." He said softly. His tone surprised me. I've never heard Stefano so gentle and broken. I didn't think he was capable of begging. He left my lips and rested his face in the crook of my neck, his hand caressing my knee.
I knew what he wanted. He was at the brink of holding his promise to me. I wasn't sure how long Stefano was able to go without sex, but I'm sure if anything, that he wanted to claim his rights tonight even though a week had not passed.
"Something's not right if your word to me has to be broken tonight." I mumbled once I got a little space from his lips. "Are you going to deny me again?" He asked this time whispering in my ear. I shuddered when his lips grazed my skin. I could feel myself throbbing in what I couldn't decipher as being need or excitement. I couldn't resist him forever, and I didn't think it would make a difference if he had me how he wanted today or next week.
"I guess it wouldn't make a difference how I'd feel about this, would it?" As his lips grew just below my collarbone, he stopped. Stefano removed himself from my body and simply stared at me. I really wish I knew what he was thinking, his face was always stoic and expressionless.
"As much as I want this, I won't push you to do anything that you don't want to do, Raelyn." He spoke with ease then paused. "But, I'm not exactly a patient man either." His eyes darkened, even with little emotion to them, they were striking. I figured he wasn't going to tell me what was on his mind tonight, but I knew for sure having sex with me was a way he was going to find release.
"No, I'm ready." I managed to reply back. Did I even believe the words I was saying? I still can't believe this is happening, as confident I attempted to sound on the outside, I was truly freaking out inside.
"You're telling the truth?" He questioned, moving back closer to kiss me. Even though he asked me this question, it never deterred him from leaving passion marks along my neck and collarbone. It was becoming very hard to concentrate. Tonight was happening, there was just no way around it. "Raelyn..." he said when I didn't respond to him.
"I am." I muttered softly. Turning my head to face his, I pressed my lips against his and ignored the nervous feeling in my stomach. I just had to get through it, that's all. Just put my fears aside and do it. It won't be that bad, right?
My mind seemed to rush through it all. I didn't remember much between our kissing and my clothes flying. I remember the feel of his hands. They were strong but gentle, an action I didn't think quite fit Stefano. He ran his fingers along my skin; down my outer thighs and calf muscle. I was too busy focusing on not being rigid and making my body relax. I just kept thinking that no matter what I thought before, it started to feel good. His hands and his lips, they just started to feel really good.
"Ohmm.." I moaned into our kiss as his fingers grazed my opening. I bucked my hips involuntarily towards his finger. I was completely in awe at how his demeanor could quickly change so suddenly and scared at the same time for what was to come next.
"Rae," Stefano called my name and I turned my head to meet his face. "You have to relax or this will hurt more." He said, his eyebrows furrowed slightly as he looked down at me. I nodded my head as my eyes glanced from his brown eyes to his full lips.
Stefano lowered his head and kissed me. Unexpectedly, he pressed his finger into my opening and I cringed hard at the discomfort, but his lips moving against mine distracted me from the new feeling. I moaned again and again as his finger started moving slowly back and forth inside of me. The feeling started to subside as I slowly eased into it and made myself relax more into his body. I assumed that he would be cold and rigid in the way he has sex. I believed in the rumors and expected, like with all his other women, that he would be more overpowering and controlling. Instead he was patient and careful, manners I definitely did not expect from Stefano. He made me feel safe and comfortable about the unknown.
"Stefano..." I was surprised I actually moaned out his name. Stefano reached his free hand underneath my back and unhooked my bra, making me gasp and cover up. Not only as I very self-conscious at this moment, but I knew my breasts weren't as big and voluptuous as the previous women he'd slept with. "They're perfect to me." He whispered, his eyes flicking to meet mine. I slowly let my hands down and Stefano's lips wrapped around my left breast and nibbled lightly. His teeth grazed the skin, making me shiver in delight. I bit my bottom lip and closed my eyes, actually wishing for more that he can give. This feeling was very new to me and I was not ashamed to say that I was enjoying it.
I was hoping that he would kind of ease me through it. Stefano barely spoke; inaudible groans was more of his thing. As the pressure started building and I started to relax, he added another finger. The mild discomfort I felt wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. His fingers seemed to touch a bundle of nerves; I shuttered in need. Each time his fingers would enter me, the pressure expanded. I felt this exhilarating chill run down my body. He placed kisses on my body as he worked his fingers.
Moans slipped from between my lips as my hips thrusted unintentionally with need. When the pressure became too much, I moaned loudly, only then realizing that my orgasm hit me suddenly. My breathing was ragged and I was panting in need of release. Stefano lowered his head to my opening and began licking me, spreading my folds with his tongue and moving his head as he ate me out. My fingers gripped the shorts strands of his hair that I was surprised to find were not gelled. He pulled away and unwrapped the green towel around his waist. He had a happy trail leading to his impressive in size member.
Staring at it made me even more nervous than I was before. I didn't know how Gigi did this so confidentially. His penis was fully erect and the fact that it was about to go in me, stirred me slightly. Stefano's wasn't the first I'd seen. I've walked in on Vincent pissing in the bathroom numerous times and have seen him change clothes before. Vincent was never shy about his body.
The night before Stefano had found us, Vincent and I had performed orally on each other. Looking at Stefano now, I was more intimidated because of my lack of experience and he was bigger in size.
Stefano captured my lips again and I was pressed down on the bed again by his weight. His member rested on my inner thigh as he positioned my legs. When I felt the tip of his penis slightly enter inside of me, I instantly tensed up. "Rae, you have to relax." He mumbled.
"I know." My voice was small and I just felt like I couldn't relax. I was scared. Stefano sighed, either from annoyance or impatience, I wasn't sure. I wasn't trying to upset him but this was very difficult for me. "I'm trying." I let out. I almost felt like crying. I was making things so difficult.
"What can I do to ease your nerves, Raelyn?" He whispered.
I honestly had no idea what it was he could do, other than what he was doing right now. "...Distract me. Kiss me.." I whispered back. It was the only form of distraction I could think of. Stefano did as I said and kissed me, his hands caressed my sides and my backside, sliding his hands up and down my body, getting me to relax. His hands always felt so good on me and he had a gentle way of holding me.
I felt his tongue dominate my own. His lips bruised mine, the action showed his urgent need for some type of control. Whatever he was feeling at this moment, it wouldn't go away. "Stefano!" I gasped suddenly as he entered me. Although I asked for a distraction, it happened so suddenly that I tensed once again. Stefano did what I asked and distracted me with his kiss. Every inch there was a mild discomfort that I wasn't ready for, but I knew that I had to be. It had finally happened.
Tears slipped out of my eyes as I gasped, moving away from his kiss. Stefano stared at me intensely. His lips continued to move against my skin, running over my chest. I stared up at the ceiling, my breath shaky, yet still. He didn't say anything, and I didn't want him to. I just needed a moment to adjust to the fact that this moment was actually happening. "Stefano..."
"Yes Raelyn?" He listened.
"I'm ready." I nodded my head slowly. I was ready for him to start moving. The crazy part was that he wasn't even all the way in yet. As he removed himself from me slowly, he then slowly started to ease his way back in. It hurt, tremendously, but I expected it to. Stefano moved slow, giving me the gentleness that I needed. "Raelyn, are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I lied. I knew once he started moving, the pleasure would come rolling in. Well, so I've heard from Gigi. I was uncomfortable, but I didn't want him to know that so I made the move this time. I kissed him, allowing the kiss to cloud my senses and take me outside of my own head for a while. His strokes were slow and considerate, reassuring me that he didn't want to hurt me, and that he wanted me to enjoy my first time, even if he wasn't in the best state of mind. When he asked if he could move a little faster, of course I couldn't tell him no. No matter the discomfort I was feeling, just like I needed a distraction, he needed one as well.
Stefano gradually picked up his pace. I assumed that I would feel this pain throughout my entire first time, but after a while, it slowly went from a searing pain to a dull ache. I knew that my experience would not be like Gigi's, but I never imagined that it would feel like this.
After a few minutes, pain subsiding, it felt indescribable. I wanted to feel more of him. It's crazy that I was actually enjoying this moment, a moment I never really pictured until it actually happened. I kept feeling these little flutters, like chills running down my spine, and I loved it. I loved hearing him panting and moaning in my ears. It surprisingly turned me on to hear him moan. I loved when his hands would scale my thighs, or when he'd hike up my leg higher to get a better angle in. I soon wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling him deeper than before. Those familiar chills made me whimper and I close my eyes just to revel in it. "Rae? Are you alright?" Stefano asked again for what seemed like the tenth time. He asked me numerous times if I were okay or if he needed to slow down a bit, but I liked things how they were.
"Mmm, keep going.." I managed to moan. It was like I wanted him to be silent, just so I could be lost in the moment. His strokes never changed from softer to harder, but he did move faster without having to ask for permission. I believe he got the hint after awhile that I didn't want words, just movement. My nails glide deeply into his back, sweat coating our bodies, my heart rate speeding tremendously. Nothing else seemed to matter in the moment that I was enjoying this intimate moment. He groaned in my ear, making me shiver. My back arched and I met his thrust in the process. My arms circled around his neck and I moaned in his ear. It was ironic how this was the first time I actually felt like touching him.
I saw the grin on Stefano's face as he watched me. He knew I was enjoying this and it seemed he wanted to take things further. Unexpectedly he took my hands down from his neck gently and pulled out of me. "What?" I asked him confused. "Oh, you finished..." I muttered. I heard a lot of times how the men would finish and leave their partners unsatisfied. I overheard the women at Caterina's party talking about their husbands.
Stefano furrowed his eyebrows. "No, i'd just like to try something. Turn around." He told me. I laid on my stomach and waited for further instruction. I knew where he wanted to take things. He took one of the pillows beside me and told me rise up a little to stick it underneath my hips. I was a little nervous the minute I felt his finger graze above my opening. I think Stefano noticed cause his chest flushed against my back and he whispered, "Don't worry, that area won't be touched." Even though I couldn't see him, I could feel the smirk on his face, "Not yet anyway." If he thought that would ease my tension, it didn't.
Stefano threw his head back and laughed. I felt the vibration of his voice and I wasn't sure whether he was kidding or not. "Don't you worry, Rae." I started to feel self-conscious again. Like my nervousness was only fueling his excitement.
He pressed his hand down on my back, making me lean down more and making my hips propped up more. "Relax.." He whispered slowly, easing the tip of his member back into my opening. The angle was different and uncomfortable at first, but once he was in and I was relaxed, the fluttering feeling came back. Stefano picked up the pace and for a while, the feeling was incredible. Then, almost like he forgot it was me and my first time, he started going faster. I whimpered into the pillow, gritting my teeth but I said nothing.
I gripped the sheets tighter for support as his thrusts became harder. I didn't know if part of me was scared to say anything or if part of me actually liked a little roughness. "Ah-ah...I-uhh..." my words were incoherent and almost inaudible. His groans filled the room, drowning out my small whimpers and moans. His fingers dug into my skin and held onto my hips for dear life. I wouldn't be surprised is there were fingerprints on my hips in the morning. I felt his chest press against my back and his breath fanned my face.
I felt him pull out from me and it was almost like he triggered some type of feeling inside of me. I didn't realize it but his impending release triggered my own. I buried my face into the pillow and moaned. I felt him slip out and something warm sliding down my thighs. The only thing I could hear was my thumping heart and our ragged breathing. Stefano then removed himself from the bed, while I felt as if my body was numb to movement right now. The shock of my first real sexual experience overwhelmed me. I glanced at the light showing from the bathroom and heard water running.
Part of me was relieved, almost. I felt like this burden had been dealt with, but the other part of me was sad to have the last bit of innocence I had, gone. I knew it was a part of me that I could never get back, and although the moment wasn't really special like I had hoped and dreamt for, the moment was there nonetheless.I closed my eyes for a moment, taking in the last bit of my youth that was now gone. He finally had his chance to make me his woman, and claimed me as his wife.
My eyes suddenly opened as I felt something warm and wet travel across my backside. Stefano came back from the bathroom, a wet towel in hand. He gently moved his hand down my lower back, my thighs, and between my legs. I didn't expect him to clean me up, but that only furthered the caring and attentive side of him.
*
I woke up to an empty spot beside me where Stefano was lying last night. The dull ache between my legs and the memories of last night came back to me and made it apparent that Stefano and I did have sex last night, and
I actually didn't think it was bad as I dreamt it would be.
I slightly frowned at the fact that Stefano was nowhere in sight after the bond we created last night, but decided to think less of it when I remembered how distraught he looked earlier. Something was wrong and he looked like he was going through it. His appearance wasn't the everyday stoic expression coming home after his duties.
I took a good shower and completed my regular morning routine before descending the stairs and walking into the kitchen to make myself breakfast. I decided on pancakes which was my top choice to eat in the mornings. I heard light approaching footsteps and turned around to see Christina, the youngest looking maid in the mansion. She has a very shy and timid personality and didn't really say much. I wasn't sure if it was because she didn't like me or it was just her shyness.
"Morning, Madam, would you like for me to take over?" She asked referring to the batter I was pouring into the small pan. I smiled at her and shook my head. She got the hint and smiled back. "Your husband told me to tell you to see him up in the room with the blue door." She informed me. My eyebrows slightly raised. "He's here?"
"Yes, madam." She says again, fixing a few strands of her brown hair in place. "Thank you." I told her.
I ate my pancakes and surprisingly got full of them really quick. I had a few left and thought maybe Stefano would like some. I went up the stairs carefully with the plate and fork in my hands, going to the blue door I often went in to snoop about Stefano's family and look through mafia related books and articles. He made this door a color different from the rest.
The door was cracked and I gave it a couple knocks. "You don't need to knock, Rae. Everything is free access." I heard Stefano's deep voice from the inside. I opened the door wider and stepped in, closing it after.
I made eye contact with Stefano and he sent me a smile, making me return his. His eyes went back into the book he was reading. He was standing shirtless next to a bookshelf. I could clearly see his defined back muscles and the scratches from last night. I was close enough to him now that I could see a picture of the consigliere in a page. "Isn't he your uncle?"
I watched his face soften. "Yes." He then glanced down at the warm plate in my hands. "You didn't finish your pancakes?" He asked me.
"Actually they're for you." I responded. It felt weird saying that.
He stared at it before raising and eyebrow at me. "I don't like sugary food."
"Oh..."
When I looked at his face again, I saw he was grinning. I squinted my eyes at him and began to laugh.
"Trying to spite me again?" I questioned him accusingly.
Stefano didn't answer me, instead he slid the book back into its space in the bookshelf. My eyes kept an eye on the book. I would come back and read it later.
The plate was lifted from my hands she stefano began eating some pieces. He tilted his head to the side. "Not bad."
"But not good either..." I muttered.
Stefano furrowed his eyebrows at me. "I didn't say that."
"He looks like he's done a lot." I said looking at the numerous pictures of his uncle shaking hands with big men and spending time with his family. "Oh, he's done a lot alright." There were only a few bites left when Stefano set the plate aside. "He was just as crooked as my father. He knew the ins and outs of everything. Many times, my father would go to him for help of some kind. 'Taught me everything I know."
That means Stefano is more like his uncle than his Father. "Well, Adriano is an odd case." I said bringing up his questionable cousin. Stefano was more humble than Adriano. Stefano chuckled. "The only thing he thinks about is fucking women."
"Sounds about right. I was wondering, what was wrong last night? With you, I mean. You didn't look like yourself." I finally asked him what's been on my mind all morning. Stefano folded his arms and leaned on the wall, looking down. He kept that posture for about a minute or so before answering.
"There was a mission last night that involved the Russians. They're like flies, always coming back for more." He said, eyes still on the ground, perhaps trying to remember the scene vividly.
"It was only the consigliere and I in the building when the bastards had us outnumbered. They were poor excuses for soldiers and fired lousy shots. I killed them all and had underestimated their tactic. One of them had my uncle in a death hold and I wasn't able to save him." Stefano's face only tightened as he continued telling the story.
"It was happening right under my nose and I didn't keep a close eye on him. His brains were blown right in front of me. I gave the man that killed my uncle what he deserves, yet I still feel that wasn't enough to avenge his blood."
I didn't know what to say. How do you comfort a man who's seen death since his earliest childhood?
"I'm sorry. I know he meant a lot to you." I said sincerely.
Stefano chuckled and lifted his head, turning to me. "God forgives, Italians don't." He said.
He picked up another small picture frame of himself standing next to his uncle. "I keep asking me how I couldn't have saved him. My inability to have done so is contradictory to my reputation." Stefano's continued.
I bit my lip before speaking. Hopefully I didn't say anything to make things worse. "You can't change what happened no matter how many times you think about it." I told him.
He was quiet as he put down the frame. "I wish I could say more." I added.
Stefano turned around to face me. "No, This is more than enough."
***
I was very surprised how Stefano acted during his uncle's funeral. He acted as if he didn't care about his uncle's death, like it didn't even phase him. Stone cold and void, was his countenance and I didn't know which side of him to believe.
I walked over to Adriano who showed slightly more disturbance of his father's death, and Caterina who was balling with tears. "I'm sorry about your father." I sat next to Caterina and she leaned her head into me, sobbing in my chest.
"Me too." Adriano said looking past me to the group of men that included Stefano.
One of the women in their family came to get Caterina and it was just Adriano and I. Adriano could tell I was sympathizing heavily for Caterina and he spoke.
"She was dad's favourite. Caterina knew she was the purest angel in our father's eyes." Adriano said, his hands in his pockets, looking downward.
"I'm sorry." I said again, but wasn't sure if I meant it. There was a saying in the Bible that if you live by the sword, you die by the sword, and this family, these made men, have blood on their hands and didn't know the meaning of pain until death took one of their own.
I still remembered that Stefano killed Vincent, and that pain only resurfaced, being at this funeral. It was hard to feel truly sympathetic when I didn't even have closure.
Stefano's uncle dying only made me realize the importance of my parents even though I couldn't stand to look them in the face.
Adriano took a seat next to me on the bench, replacing where Caterina had just been.
"Even when you know it's coming, you're never prepared for how it feels." I said all of a sudden, remembering my journey with Vincent, only for it to come crashing down at the end.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal and love leaves a memory no one can steal." Adriano said, his eyebrows furrowing. I noticed how his side profile resembled Stefano's and how their demeanor was close to identified when Adriano didn't say much.
I rested my hand on his shoulder and lightly squeezed it. Adriano turned to look at my hand. His eyes then traveled to my face, his eyes holding my stare in slight shock. "Psalm 34:18, The lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit...your heart can be healed through the most horrible of heartbreaks." I told him softly.
Adriano gritted his teeth. "It's useless throwing that bible verse at me. If only you knew how wicked I am-" he started but I cut him off by shaking my head. "What?" He snapped.
"Mark 2:17, It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. Jesus said he didn't come to call the righteous, but sinners. Yes, that means there's hope...even for you." I informed him. Memorizing my verses really did pay off and I was thankful that I remembered them in a critical moment like this.
Adriano continued to stare at me in suspicion with a hint of astonishment. When I took my hand off his shoulder, he cleared his throat and looked around. "I don't know how my cousin deals with you." He spoke and then got up from the bench, walking away.
Every last man looked hard-faced and uncaring. Bored, even. They made me sick, actually.
I knew Gigi would be here any minute now. Stefano told me earlier that they'd be attending the funeral. From the corner of my eye, I saw Adriano walking by again. I also noticed the girl ahead of him as Gigi.
I saw him following her with a stupid grin, hands in his pockets and Gigi leading him somewhere. I tried to believe Gigi that she wouldn't get too caught up messing with Adriano and that she knew what she was doing. I knew she was just having fun right now, but Adriano is not a nice guy and could easily break her spirit if she wasn't cautious and careful.
He only wanted one thing and I hoped Gigi didn't expect anything else from him.
***
That night when we come home after all the funeral services and gatherings, I watched Stefano stand in the mirror for a long time, just looking at his face.
"His death is eating you up isn't it?" I asked him, walking up beside him. "You did all you could." I reminded him.
"It wasn't enough." He replied gruffly.
"You can't change the past." I stressed again.
"I lost my mother and my uncle. They were the most dear to me." Stefano's jaw tightened.
"At the funeral you seems as if you didn't even care..." I muttered, taking up my tiny earrings and bracelets.
"I had to." Stefano said firmly.
"What do you mean? What's so wrong about showing some humanity?" I asked, just not getting it.
Stefano's lips curved. "Have the books you've been snooping in when I'm not around, taught you nothing?" He asked me.
"You can't ever let them know what you're thinking, not even for a second. They're all waiting for me to slip, to show weakness, vulnerability, they all want to question my authority. I'd be a fool to give them that opportunity." He loosened his tie and took off his coat.
"But he's your uncle..."
"If they see me sympathize over death, they'll think I'm weak, that I have second thoughts before making a decision, That I spare treacherous lives..." he replied to me. His gun holster was revealed, and other tiny weapons that could skin you alive were there in it as well.
"I don't understand."
Stefano got behind me and trapped me in between his arms when he leaned forward to rest his hands on the dresser. He rested his chin on my shoulder and looked at my reflection in the mirror.
"Men don't express their emotions like women. We internalize what you express. When a woman thinks, she speaks out loud. When a man thinks, he keeps it to himself until he can find a solution."
"What happens if he can't find a solution?" I challenged. "When a man can't find a solution, he stays in solitary confinement." He answered, knowingly.
I just stared back at his face in the mirror. I watched as he planted his lips along my shoulder, sending tingles to my skin. "That's why men were not meant to be alone." He said and smirked.
The straps of my dress were pulled down and Stefano and I slept with each other again.
***
Sorry for the late update, I hope this made up for it. I've just been super busy with school. I'd like to give a special thanks to my friend BeautifulMelodyxx for the steamy scene. It was all her and I couldn't have completed this chapter without her🎊🎊
What are your thoughts on this chapter? Especially with the characters?
Things are going to get interesting next time I post :) thanks for reading, once again.