A healthy relationship makes you and your partner feel good about yourselves. Period. Check out these statements and think about which ones apply to your relationship.
THE ISSUE: How you treat your partner
THE GOOD: you are honest about your feelings and you feel comfortable talking with your partner.
You feel happy and safe in your relationship.
THE BAD: You are so worried your partner will leave you that you’ll do anything to please him/her.
Your partner says he/she can’t live without you and you’re scared that it’s true.
THE ISSUE: How your partner treats you
THE GOOD: Your partner respects your feelings.
Your partner supports your dreams and encourages you to pursue your interests.
Your partner trusts you.
THE BAD: Your partner regularly puts you down or say things that make you cry.
You feel ignored, stupid, or unwanted in your relationship.
Your partner uses “love” as an excuse for violent or jealous behavior.
THE ISSUE: Time together
THE GOOD: Both of you decide how you spend your time together.
THE BAD: You’ve had to give up something important to you since you started dating.
THE ISSUE: Time apart
THE GOOD: You still spend time with your family and friends, so that you aren’t always with your boy/girlfriend.
THE BAD: Your partner makes you feel guilty if you want your own space.
THE ISSUE: Time with friends
THE GOOD: Your friends say your partner treats you well.
THE BAD: Your partner makes fun of you in front of friends.
THE ISSUE: Bumping uglies
THE GOOD: Your partner makes you feel comfortable and sexy.
You and your partner always use protection against STIs and unplanned pregnancy.
THE BAD: Your partner makes you feel bad if you aren’t comfortable doing certain sexual things.
You feel pressured by your partner into doing sexual things you’re not ready for.
So? Have you got a lot more “good” than “bad”? If so, congrats on being in a healthy relationship. If not, you may be headed for trouble. Check out the resources section at the back of this book if you need more info or someone to talk to.