Isabella
I frowned once Rozan's cousin came back trotting to me, because I forgot her name. Her name just ran past my mind.
"Hey," I smile as she pulls herself up to get on the couch.
"DeMar went to his room," she says.
I furrow my eyebrows, "What?"
"DeMar," she points to the kitchen. "He went to his room."
"Why?" She shrugs and I stare at her confused.
"He looked sad," she says.
I nod, "Do you know where his room is?"
She nods, "I can take you there." She hops off the couch and I follow her. She leads me down the hall that is near the kitchen. I glance inside the kitchen and notice it's empty. That's odd.
"It's right here," she whispers and points at the door.
"Thank you," I say and watch her skip away. I knock on the door and wait for him to answer. He opens the door and I see that his eyes are red and blotchy. Tears are stained on his cheek and his hair is in clumps as if he was pulling it.
"DeMar?" I push the door open and quickly close it behind me. He stares at me and doesn't move. "What's wrong? What happened?"
He shakes his head and more tears begin to fall. I wrap my arms around me and he is slow to wrap his. When he does, he hugs me firmly. "Something happened." His voice is muffled in my neck, and I can feel the heat from his voice.
"What happened?"
"Davian."
"What about Davian?" I ask. I frown when I realize that I forgot to tell Davian 'goodbye.' He left the house so quickly that I didn't even notice.
He lets out a louder sob. He releases me and sits down at his desk. He stares at a paper and pen that is on his desk. He points at it, "Read it."
I furrow my eyebrows and read the first two lines:
My best friend, you left too early. I wish I tried harder to stop you from leaving the house tonight.
I look back at DeMar, "This doesn't explain anything. What happened?" He rests his head on his hand and sighs. "DeMar."
"He got shot," his voice cracks. Instantly, I feel my heart drop. It wasn't that I liked Davian in that way; I saw him as a friend and it broke my heart that he was hurt.
"Is he okay?" I ask. He looks at me and I know what the answer is. I cover my mouth and turn away from him. I sit on the edge of his black covered bed. I feel the tears build up in my eyes, and this gut-wrenching feeling overwhelm my body.
I only knew him for a while but we were able to become good friends quickly. He was my partner. Photography class would never be the same without him. I won't have him next to me at the basketball games anymore. He won't be there to roast the opponents.
I see him rub his eyes and then slowly stands up. He sits down next to me, "Why are you crying?"
"Because he was my friend, too. He sat next to me in class and we were partners for taking pictures at the games."
He nods, "It must've slipped my mind for a second." He pulls me in his arms and rest his head against mine. "Fück, man."
I cry for a few more minutes until I finally stop. I didn't want to cry in front of him for so long. He removes his arm and stares at me.
"I was right," he whispers. I wait for him to continue but he just stares at me.
"What?"
"You like Davian."
"What?" I ask.
"Wow...you really do like him," he stands up and lets out a cold laugh. I watch him put both of his hands on the back of his head and rub it. "I should've saw it coming. It was so obvious."
"DeMar I don't like him like that. How could you say that?" I stand up. He turns around and faces me.
"Then why are you crying?"
"You act like I didn't know a single thing about him. He was my partner in class. I spent all of those basketball games with him. I may have not knew him like you did, but I knew a little something about him."
I couldn't believe he was acting like this. He was acting as if I was I was in love with Davian even though I never saw him like that.
DeMar shakes his head. He puts his hands on the back of his seat and rocks himself. He is heated. "I think you should go."
I raise my eyebrows, "DeMar-"
"Ella, I'm being serious."
"Well I'm being serious, too. I'm not leaving until I know you are okay."
"I'm fine," he says.
"No you're not," I say and stand up. I walk over to him and place my hand on his shoulder. He shoves my hand off of him and leans away from me.
"Leave me alone, Ella," he spits. "Goddamn."
"I'm not leaving," I repeat.
"Leave!" He wrestles my hands off of him.
"Stop, Rozan," I say.
"I don't want to hurt you, but you're making me mad," he says. He loosens his grip on my wrist although they were never tight. He wasn't hurting me.
"Rozan."
"Just leave me alone, please," he says and begins to cry. I immediately wrap my arms around him and he lets me. He sobs in my shoulder and I feel my own heart break. I have never knew he was capable of crying so hard, and it just broke my heart. Tears formed in my eyes while I held the weak body of his.
-
A week has passed since Davian's death. Nothing was normal. DeMar didn't even get to meet my family because of what happened. He was still heart broken.
Today was New Years Eve and it was also Davian's funeral. I was waiting for DeMar to give me a call since we would be riding together. However, he hadn't texted me all morning. I called his cell one more time and it went to voicemail.
Haro stared at me as I sighed, "Are you okay?"
I look back at him and shake my head. He has a black tie on with a gray long-sleeved button up shirt. His hair was in his usual muffin top with a fresh taper fade. He would be going to the funeral as well.
"Isa, what's wrong?"
I shrug, "DeMar isn't answering."
"The funeral is an hour."
"I know. Him and I were supposed to ride with each other."
Haro stares at me, "You guys been arguing right?"
"Yeah. He's been so out of it. Davian and him were bestfriends and he lost him so he's just so broken. He hates when I'm with him. I've only gone to his house every other day this week and would literally spend an hour there."
"Maybe he doesn't want you to see him like that," he suggests.
I sigh, "I need to go over there and just pick him up."
"Well hurry. I'll meet you there."
"Okay," I say and give him a hug. I grab my keys and open the door and am greeted with Reggie.
"Are you leaving already?" He asks and pulls me into a hug.
"I'm going to DeMar's," I say.
He nods, "You look beautiful by the way in that black dress."
"Thank you. I'll see you in a bit," I say and wave bye to him.
I quickly drive off to his place. I was in a hurry, because I was sure that he wasn't even ready. When I arrived, I noticed that Diane's car was gone. His father, mom, and sister must've been gone.
I quickly hopped out and rang the doorbell a couple of times. I heard shuffling and someone finally open the door. DeMar stared back at me. He had black slacks on but no shirt.
"Are you ready?" I ask and step inside.
"No," he mumbles. He walks past me and into his room. I roll my eyes at his attitude.
I follow him into his room and see everything out of place. His bed isn't made and his clothes are scattered everywhere.
"We have to be there early since you're doing a eulogy," I say.
"I know," he growls. He grabs an envelope from his desk and places it on the dresser near the door. I grab it for him. "I just need a shirt."
He grabs a black dress up shirt and pulls over his blazer. He quickly does his tie and groans once he can't get it on correctly.
"Let me help you," I offer.
"No," he says and continues looking in his mirror and looping it incorrectly.
"Rozan-"
"Shut up, Isabella," he says coldly. I swallow his words and bite my tongue from saying something else. "I don't even want to go."
"Why not?" I ask. He sighs and lets the tie hang loosely from his neck. He stares at me from the mirror.
"I've been to too many funerals," he shrugs. "I never imagined that I would be going to the funeral of my bestfriend at this age."
I stay behind him quietly. I'm not sure what to say and I can't think of anything. My mind suddenly went blank.
"And now you're not smiling," he mumbles and goes back to putting his tie on.
I recall the words he said when we were in LA, "...because when you smile, I smile. And if you're not smiling, it's even more hell for me."
DeMar is even more depressed than I thought he was.
"DeMar, we really need to go," I stutter. Tears were brimming in my eyes as my thoughts rambled. Each second passes and his body is just breaking even more.
He begins to rush. He sponges his hair quickly and then exits the room.
"Can you drive?" He asks.
"Sure." He nods and gets inside the passenger of my car. I quickly get inside and pass the envelope to him. He clutched it and sighs. I'm able to finally see his pink eyes and chapped lips.
"DeMar," I start. He looks at me and then looks away. "Are you okay?"
"Why do you keep asking me that?"
"Because," I shrug. It's like I know the answer to the question but I want to hear him say it. I mean, don't we all? Someone asks someone if they're okay even though they are clearly not, because they don't want the other person thinking they don't care.
"No, I'm not fücking okay. I have to go give a damn speech about my bestfriend who got fücking shot over a dice game. I have to talk about my dead bestfriend, because I was the last one who was with him and could've stopped him—I could've stopped him but I didn't. And then you keep talking for no damn reason. Shut up, will you?" He yells.
His voice is so harsh that I feel the knot in my throat. My knuckles begin to turn white holding the steering wheel, but I know that I must pay attention to the road. I blink away the tears.
I hate how DeMar is grieving like this. He's just so cold, and I have to take it all in because there is nothing else to do. He believes everything happened because of him, but he is wrong.
Arriving to the funeral home was heart wrenching. Families lined up outside of the place and everyone was just so sad. I hated funerals. I had only been to one, but I didn't really know the person who passed so it didn't really count.
"Are you getting off?" I ask DeMar. He seems to be in a daze about something and he just stares out the window.
"I'll meet you inside," he mumbles. I curse at him in my head and grab the envelope but he stops me. "I'll take it."
"What if you forget it?"
"I said," he stares at me coldly, "that I will take it." I release the envelope and he places it back on the seat. In one swift movement, I take the envelope and shut the door on him. I hear him call my name from inside the car, but I walk away anyway. I am thankful that I notice Kevin and Paul standing near their cars. I walk over to them and they give me a small smile.
"Hey," I smile and hug them. They hug me back and greet me.
"DeMar didn't come with you?" Kevin asks. He wears a grey suit and Paul wears a solid black one.
"He did, but he's in the car at the moment," I say and tuck the envelope in my dress pocket. The envelope contains DeMar's eulogy.
Paul speaks, "Are you okay, Ella?"
"Yeah," I nod. "I'm fine." Him and Kevin exchange a look.
"You two are dating right?" Kevin asks. I wasn't able to lie in that moment. Something caught my throat from immediately answering with a no. "You guys are."
"It's something-"
"Quit lying, Ella." I stare at Kevin. "And now you guys are arguing."
I sigh, "It's not that we're arguing. It's just DeMar is grieving at the moment and he is kind of mean. I don't know how to explain it, but he's a colder person. I know that I just have to be there for him even when he doesn't want me, but lately it's like he is just aggressive-"
"He's putting his hands on you?" A voice says from behind me. I turn around and see Reggie and Haro's concerned faces.
"No!" I say. "He's aggressive with his words. Every time I try to comfort him, he pushes me away and tells me to shut up. I don't know why he is like this but he just is for some reason."
Reggie pulls me into a hug because I began to cry. I didn't even feel myself shed a tear but apparently I was.
"I don't know what I'm doing wrong," I whisper. "If I leave him, it's like I don't care and I don't want to deal with his struggle, but that's not true. I want to be there for him. I don't care whatever form or shape he is in, but I want to be there for him."
"Shh, it's okay," Reggie says. I hear someone else join our small circle but I don't know who.
"Is she okay?" They whisper. I recognize his voice, Kyle.
Kyle of all people should know DeMar the best. Kyle is like Davian. They're both DeMar's bestfriends. I get out of Reggie's arms and look at Kyle. His face softens once he sees mine.
"Ella-"
"Kyle, you know DeMar best right?"
"Um, yeah," he stutters at my sudden question.
"What should I do when he's in this situation?"
"What situation is he in?"
"He won't let me help him during this hard time, and I know it's because he's grieving and doesn't want sympathy. But what am I possibly able to do?"
Kyle stares at me, thinking, "I would say to just let him be. I wouldn't necessarily say to leave him alone because he can be unpredictable. He wouldn't ever hurt himself because he knows he has a sister to take care of. You don't have to worry about that. Give him space. See him about every three days or so and just gradually take note of how he feels. Don't force him into anything. He may yell at you at times and it's better to just leave when he starts doing that. He can be mean as hell and it isn't really fun at times like that. Just be patient. It'll get better, I promise. Just don't leave him forever."
I take note of his words and hope that they accurately apply to DeMar. "Thank you."
He nods and gives me a hug. I look at Haro and see a disgusted face on him. I want to ask what's up with him but I'm sure it has to do with DeMar. At the moment, no one is a fan of DeMar.
The six of us walking into the funeral home was somber. The lights weren't all the way on and the room was full of sniffles. His coffin lay in the middle of the place and it broke my heart once I realized that this was it. DeMar still had not come in and it was about to be time for him to speak. As a matter of fact, it was time now.
"And now Davian's bestfriend, DeMar, would like to share his last words," the priest says. I notice heads search for DeMar and start murmuring once they realize he is not here. I stand up and make my way to the podium.
"Y'all probably realize that I am not DeMar. Unfortunately, DeMar is not able to make it but he left me to deliver his eulogy. I am his girlfriend, Isabella. I may have not known Davian for as long as DeMar has known him, but I was glad to call him my friend. With that being said, I will now read DeMar's letter:
My bestfriend, you passed too early. You were supposed to be there with me when I made it to the NBA. You were supposed to be there with me when I got drafted and got married. You were supposed to be my best man! You and I were supposed to go to college together and go to all those fun parties. You leaving me at the horrible time is the worst thing that could happen to me. I finally got the girl of my dreams and Aja was finally smiling again! Everything was going perfect and then you came back from Chicago and made it even more perfect. I missed my bestfriend when you were gone, and I couldn't wait for you to come back. Aja was also talking about you and missing you. I guess we'll keep on waiting because I know you'll be watching us. I think I'll be fine knowing you're protecting me and both of our families. I hope I don't disappoint you. From now on, everything I do will be for you. You have made such an impact on my life that this period is going to be hard. I will forever miss you and can not wait until I see you again. The buddy you been rocking with since junior high will always be right here. I love you, my friend."
I quickly wipe the tears from my eyes and quickly walk off the stage. I find the boys and sit randomly between Paul and Kevin. I sob harder in my hands and lean onto Paul's shoulder. I don't even care that I'm leaning onto him because I am too broken. DeMar's letter was so damn heartbreaking and he wasn't even here to read it.
He didn't even show up to his bestfriend's funeral.
It breaks my heart that I don't even know what DeMar and I are now at this point. I would say we're dating, but with me going behind his back and reading the letter may cause some trouble. It's not like he told me to read the letter but I know it was still wrong. He didn't want to give me the letter in the first place.
I shift in my seat and Paul wraps his arm around me. I am forever thankful that he isn't an awkward person and knows that it's just better to comfort me. He hands me his handkerchief and I keep it close to my face. My body is trembling. I wasn't even sure if I was crying for Davian or DeMar at this moment.
—
so as my English teacher says, what do you think the last paragraph is foreshadowing? 🤔💀