"No, no!" You screamed out in pain; falling to the ground in pure shock. Arthur held you against him as you broke down on the floor.
The children were around you and did not know what was going on; wondering why their mother was getting so distraught for. Arthur gave you a brotherly hug as you gripped onto his blazer jacket; crying as you leaned the side of your head against his chest.
"Bring him back to me" You hiccuped and shook your head, not wanting to believe it.
That happened 3 weeks ago and the pain of losing your husband, John, still lived with you every second of the day. The children asked everyday were their father was and that was the hardest part - having to lie to make things easier for them.
It put you in a terrible situation, that you did not want to be in, in the first place. However, you tried to be positive when you were around the children, which helped you in someways; allowing you to have a break from mourning and returning to being on your own once more at night time.
"How are you?" Ada asked as she sat on your oak chairs in the kitchen, as you washed the dishes.
"Fine" You lied, trying to show how brave you could be - lying to Ada and yourself.
"Truthfully Y/N" Ada pleaded, wanting nothing but to comfort you - understanding what it feels like to have someone stripped away from you.
You sighed, placing the plate on the side and bursting into fits of tears. Ada felt bad; walked over to you and turned you towards her to give you a hug.
"I miss him so much" You hiccuped as you allowed tears to flow down your face.
"That's normal Y/N" She sighed and you wiped the tears away, wanting to stop crying to speak properly.
"I was planning on having the children stay at my friends in the country. I think it will be best for them and it will give me time to get myself together." You ran a hand through your hair.
"Have you told them?" She asked you and you shook your head no.
"I can barely believe it myself, so I don't feel like it is time for me to tell them yet." You defended and Ada nodded her head in understanding. "They are just so young and innocent."
"It will be good for the children to go to the country, but I am worried what it will do to you" Ada put a hand on your shoulder.
"It will give me time to be independent again" You strongly spoke. "Then I will be able to look after my children properly."
"If you need anything, you know where I am don't you?" She raised an eyebrow at you, making sure you fully understood.
"Of course Ada" You breathed out a smile. "Thank you so much for all your help."
Ada left you alone, the kids later went with your friends that came to pick them up. The children were excited to go on holiday, as they did not really know what was going on - they did not suspect a thing. They thought their dad was away and little did they know, that they were not to see him again - that was the hardest part for you.
"John why did you leave me?" You questioned as you looked towards your wedding photos that were on the mantle piece by the fire. "It is not fair."
You started to get angry and instead of those heartbroken tears alone, the angry tears came alongside them. Everything seemed to crash down in front of you and you began to question everything.
"Fuck!" You screamed and threw your glass of whiskey in the fire, making the flames explode much larger than before - then shortly dying down.
"John" you cried and fell asleep on the floor of the living room, laying on the rug.
You spent nights like these, every single night. It always resulted in your laying on the floor half drunk. A week later, morning came around once more. You had been awoken, by the bright light that pierced your skin like a vampire, which made you sit up; revealing a person standing over you.
"What are you doing, sleeping on the floor?" Polly asks as she looks at the state you are in.
"Good morning to you Polly." You croaked as you sat up; clutching onto your head as you had such a bad migraine.
"Come on, you have got to get up." Polly groaned and helped you to your feet. "Go have a bath, you smell like shit and you look like shit too."
"Always good to see you Pol" You groaned and stumbled along to the bathroom, where you got into the bath that she had prepared for you.
Your muscles relaxed and you stared at the celling with no emotion. Once you washed your body, you changed into the clothes that Polly kindly left out for you and you slowly made your way back downstairs.
"You look a lot better" She smiles as you come down, feeling much better.
"I still feel like shit Polly" You sighed, leaning on the side of the wall of the kitchen.
"You need to eat" She demands and you shake your head, not feeling hungry - which is surprising as you had not eaten for a few days now.
"I'm not hungry-" you began to say but she cut you off.
"Eat." She shoved a sandwich over to you and you slowly picked at it as you sat on the dining table.
"Have you heard any more about Luca?" You asked as Polly watched you eat.
"The Sabini's and The Solomon's have handed their businesses over to Luca. We are the only gang left to take from." She sighed, informing you about your husbands killer.
"He's a fucking bastard" You mumbled. "Tommy won't let him get away with it, surely not?"
"To be honest, I don't know what Tommy is thinking any more." Polly confessed, looking more worried.
"And Michael, is he okay?" You asked her, which took her mind away from worry.
"He is fine. He is still with the gypsies around the country." She smiled and you swallowed your food. "Luca won't know where he has gone."
"I am glad he is safe Pol" You smiled honestly, chewing some more food before swallowing.
"Me too" She confesses. "I'm glad you have eaten something. Now, Y/N, I need you to come with me. While Luca is on the move to us, we need to be all together."
"I told you before Polly, I don't want any part of it anymore." You sighed.
"I know you don't, but as soon as this is over." She began. "We will all have a life of our own."
"I thought I would have, but the loss of John will never make life the same again." You got upset once more and Polly felt slightly bad at her choice of words.
"You'll be safer with us for now." She softly spoke. "Then when the business is over, we will get on with our own lives."
"What about my children Polly, how long will it be till it's safe for them to come home." You ask.
"A couple of weeks?" She suggests and sighs as she looks at your broken, innocent face. "You were always too good for this family."
"I love this family." You shake your head, disagreeing with her. "You are the only family I have."
"Come with me then Y/N" She sighs and you nod your head; packing up some clothes, to take with you to stay with Polly until the business is sorted.
AN - I had an idea to carry it on, but it depends whether you all want a part 2 ;)