I fill out my application for OKCA and write my essay. Before sending it in I call Jasmine over to read over it.
Currently she sits at my desk, brown eyes scanning the computer screen as she reads my essay.
Wringing my fingers together I pace my bedroom floor.
Five paragraphs about who I am, mainly academic wise, determines whether or not I get into OKCA.
"There's no way you're getting in with that." Jasmine spins around and says.
My blood runs cold and my eyes widen as I look at her," what?"
"That was complete shit."
"I-I- but- I thought that was my best work."
"Well it's not."
I cover my face with my hands, fall back on my bed, and groan as loud as possible.
The springs in my desk chair sound as Jasmine gets up presumably to leave after reading my shit essay. But then I feel hands curl around my wrists and my vision is no longer blocked by my hands.
Jasmine gently pulls me into a sitting position and squats in front of me.
"Emerson it can be fixed, not much though considering it's some of the best writing I've ever seen."
It takes me a minute to process what she was saying but as soon as it registered with me I grit my teeth.
"You're so cruel." I say half laughing as I swat her arm.
She laughs angelically, the sound bouncing off my walls," I'm sorry."
"Oh whatever, no you're not."
I stand and sidestep her, leaving my room and heading downstairs.
"Awe Em come back." Jasmine says following behind me, closer than I thought.
I ignore her and continue down the stairs.
"Em," her arms wrap around my middle as we reach the bottom of the stairs.
"No you're a jerk."
She laughs, the warmth of her body and coolness of her breath hitting my bare shoulders and my neck.
Part of me enjoys the warmth radiating from her while the other part of me wishes I had put on a t-shirt instead of a tank top.
"Emerson."
Then my attention is on the three other people in the room.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew they were standing there but all my attention was on Jasmine, even though I was "ignoring" her.
"Hayden, hi."
His eyes trail down my body, stopping at my middle. I grab Jasmine's arm and move them from around me.
"What're you doing here?" I ask.
I'm assuming it'd be pretty bold for him to come to my house to bully me so I rule that out first.
"Honey, Hayden talked to Principal Hersey about what happened on Friday. Principal Hersey would like to have a meeting with us tomorrow morning." Momma says.
Clearing my throat I go to speak but Hayden cuts me off.
"Can we talk for a moment, maybe take a walk?"
My eyes go to my moms who nod.
"Okay."
I head upstairs and step into some shoes before going back down and leaving with Hayden.
In my mind runs the idea that this is all a ploy, he told my parents that so he could get me out the house and no doubt lead me somewhere to be jumped by Mia and her henchmen.
The air between us is tense. Uncertainty, awkwardness, and a mix of other things hanging between us.
"I'm sorry."
His voice is low, the words coming out so quietly, in a whisper, that I almost miss them.
"What?" I heard him but I have to be sure.
He sighs, a hand running through his hair," I'm sorry Emerson."
I stop walking. We're about a block away from my house.
"What for?"
I know why. Or at least I know why he should be sorry, but I want him to say it.
"For standing idly by while you were bullied. I was so hurt when that girl kissed you that, I- I wanted you to be hurt like I was. It never dawned on me that you hadn't had the chance to justify yourself, that when that girl kissed you it was one sided, that you really aren't gay." He says.
Then it hits me that this isn't the apology that I was hoping for.
I look down," Hayden, um I'm not gay-"
"I know, I know, which is why I'm here it's why I talked to Principal Hersey. It was a misunderstanding."
Shaking my head I try to speak," no Hayden-"
"Look don't worry about it Angel. Things can go back to normal now." His hands find my shoulders and he rubs my arms.
"No," I reach up and grab his hands," I'm not straight either."
He frowns," Emmy you aren't making any sense."
"Hayden," I take a deep breath," I like guys... and girls."
Immediately he steps back, a disgusted look taking over his face.
Wow. It was like turning off a light. His expression went dark, eyes now glaring at me instead of holding that loving feeling in them like usual.
He scoffs," I try and give you another chance, let you redeem yourself and this is how you repay me!"
"Hayden it's not like that, I just-"
"You're so ungrateful! Even when we were dating you acted the same way, like a stuck up bitch!" He shouts in my face.
I grit my teeth," you know what no. I was never the issue in our relationship it was you, you pretentious asshole! You didn't even take the time to get to know me! Everything was about you so you will not flip this on me! Fuck you Hayden!"
With that said I turn on my heel and walk away. I'm pissed as I walk home.
So mad in fact that I end up with a headache.
Stepping through the door I slam it shut behind me. Out the corner of my eye I see my moms turn to look at me from the couch.
I ignore it though and head upstairs, slamming my bedroom door shut too.
Jasmine jolts up at the sound of the door and the sight of me. Her eyes wide she slowly rises from my bed.
"Em?"
"God boys are so infuriating!"
"I agree however a back story would be nice."
"Fucking Hayden! He acts like I need to praise the ground he walks on just because he talked to the principal about me!"
I'm nearly shaking with anger when I pull my fist back and punch my wall.
"Emerson what the hell!" Jasmine exclaims, jumping slightly before approaching me.
The pain in my hand is dull in comparison to the anger I fell.
I don't even know who I am yet people judge me because of who they think I am! This world is so fucked!
My door is pushed open and my moms come in a worried expression on Momma's face. Ma on the other hand looks like she isn't surprised to see the dent in the drywall and my red swollen hand.
"You punched the wall." Ma states knowingly.
Momma shakes her head before leaving out, returning shortly after with the first aid kit and a silver mixing bowl.
"God you're just like your Ma." She mumbles.
Ma chuckles.
Momma has me sit on the bed before grabbing the towel from the bowl, wringing it out, and gently wiping my hand. The white towel stains reddish pink and I realize my knuckles were bleeding.
I hiss, my hand stinging as she sterilizes it. She pushes down on my knuckles, wiggles my fingers, then wraps my hand in white gauze.
"You're lucky you didn't break your hand." She snaps.
I resist the urge to roll my eyes.
"Explain." Ma says.
"Fu- freaking Hayden, apparently he misread somethings and he blew up at me and said he shouldn't have went to the principal for me." I say.
Ma groans," figures. He's a man."
Momma chuckles and shakes her head.
"We're going to go start dinner." She says, standing, kissing my forehead, and leaving with Ma's hand in hers.
I sigh and lie back on the bed. I hear some shuffling then Jasmine's face appears beside mine.
She's quiet for a moment before asking," you okay?"
I nod," yeah. I'm sorry you had to see that."
"It's fine," she shrugs.
Rolling on my side I face her," nah I'd rather you not see me raging over some guy."
Her quiet chuckle rings through my ears," my favorite celebrities freak out more than you over dumber things."
"Who are your favorite celebrities?"
She thinks for a moment, eyes roaming over my face," Kendall Jenner, she's the prettiest Kardashian, Carlos Peña Vega, Nina Dobrev, Chadwick Boseman, Scarlett Johansson, and Thomas Brodie-Sangster," she pauses," what about you?"
"Thomas Brodie-Sangster as well, Kyle, the singer, Margot Robbie, Robert Downey Jr., Zoe Saldana, Jennifer Lawrence, and Chloe Grace Moretz."
"Nice nice."
Jasmine and I spend some more time together watching movies, playing Fortnite on our phones, and kicking a soccer ball around in the yard.
"How long have you been playing soccer?" I ask her kicking the ball up and over to her.
She bounces it on her thighs, slowly lowering it to the ground," 13 years."
"And you're 18?"
"17, I'll be 18 on the 23rd of December."
"Ohhh cutting close to Christmas so you get double the gifts."
She shrugs," not really. My parents usually just send one extravagant gift to compensate for both."
"Like a car, or a gaming system, or both?"
"Depending on their mood I guess. My last birthday they sent me and autographed Neymar jersey and a new laptop, but before that they got me a jewelry and shoes."
"Question: would you rather get one cheap sentimental gift or a bunch of expensive gifts with no meaning behind it?"
I know the answer, or I feel like I know her enough to know, but I could be wrong.
"Sentimental. People say it's the thought that counts and I believe that 100% more than anything. I'd rather my parents just come see me for my birthday rather than send me some car or expensive electronic." She expresses.
Nodding I say," yeah you're right. My family isn't rich, we're not poor either but we're close and all 18 birthdays I've had them with me. There's nothing else I really wanted, not a car, not a camera, nothing. Just them."
"I want that you know. Your moms, I see the way you guys are together, like best friends. I want that with my mom. And my dad," she scoffs," he doesn't even call me. And when he does he's asking about my grades or colleges."
"Let me guess big family run company that he wants you at the head of when he steps down."
Cliché I know but it seems to be the norm in my generation, and my moms too.
"Ding ding. We have a winner. He needs some robotically assembled daughter to carry on the company name and make him money after he's decided to sit on his ass."
When I kick the ball back she lets it roll past. Sighing I walk over to her.
"You may have heard this all before so forgive me for the sense of déjà vu but things will get better."
"Better or not I'm their daughter, family shouldn't treat family like they're objects, or a means to an end." She says looking down.
I put my hands on her shoulder," I'm sorry that your family isn't where you want it to be but," I cup her cheek and gently guide her head up and her eyes connect with mine," blood doesn't always make family. You choose who your family is. The people who are there for you, that's family."
Her brown eyes search mine possibly looking to see if I'm embellishing. She finds nothing and so she nods.
"You're a good friend Em." She smiles and hugs me.
I'm going to say I don't know why, even though I do, but I don't know why something tugged at my heart when she called me her friend.
Deep down I know it's because I want to be so much more than that but I'm not going to accept it, not yet at least.
"Girls come eat!" Ma calls from the back door.
Pulling away from each other we nod and head inside.
Momma sets the table, then puts the food out. She made tacos.
"Yes!" I fist pump.
Jasmine chuckles and we sit down to eat.
After we fill our plates we eat and talk lightly.
My moms ask Jasmine about the school, academic wise, about the teachers, and about the students.
After we finish we have dessert: ice cream and cake, and Jasmine gets ready to leave.
"Sorry again about all the drama today." I apologize as I step outside with her.
She waves me off," it's fine Em. Really. I had a lot of fun, I can't wait for you to come to school with me."
"You really think my essay will get me in."
"Of course it was amazing."
I nod," thanks for reading over it for me."
"Anytime. Especially considering we're going to be school mates."
A small smile plays on my face," you're really excited about me going to school with you."
"Yeah," she nods," I am."
Smiling I hug her before opening her car door. She gets in and once I step back she pulls off.
When I get inside I see the looks on my moms faces.
"What?"
Ma chuckles, a smile never leaving her face.
"Nothing hun."
Ma leans over and whispers something in her ear causing her to nod before turning and whispering something back.
"Goodnight princess, kisses." Ma says.
"What no tell me."
She shrugs still smiling," I think you know."
"Oh thanks for the vague answer." I lean over and kiss her forehead then Momma's cheek before going upstairs.
I shower, change, text my friends for a minute, then go to sleep.