My mind was all over the place. Niall was with Will. He grabbed me but then let me escape. What was going on? Why was Niall with Will? How do they know each other? Nothing was making sense anymore. I was stressing out and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't sleep so I wasn't thinking clearly either.
I was trying to get in touch with the witness protection program that I was signed up for. The problem was, I kept getting put on hold. “No, I've been holding for the past fifteen minutes!...I said that I want to speak with Detective Hunter right now. Tell him that Roxanne Styles is calling.” I rolled my eyes, “Fine, tell him that it's Michelle Peralejo.”
After another five damn minutes of holding, I finally got the person who I wanted to speak to. “Detective Hunter speaking,” he said.
“Why the hell wasn't I told about them being released?”
“Who is this?”
“It's Roxanne, I mean, Michelle Peralejo.”
“Are you talking about Dominic and William Johnson?”
I rolled my eyes, “Are you people slow today? Yes, I'm talking about them!”
“There was a letter that was sent to you about their probation.”
If I was there right now... “You sent a letter to me...You sent a letter telling me that the two men who want me dead were on probation due to good behavior...I'm sorry, is this protective service or the goddamn moron association?! You could've called me to tell me this!”
“We didn't think it was necessary to tell you since they were only privileged to stay in the United States during their probation.”
“Oh, really, Detective Hunter? Because they are in London right now!”
There was a pause on the other end of the line. “I'm sorry, what was that?”
Here we go. “They are in London right now! Will had the curtsy to show his face to me! While at it, he beat the living shit out of me and his father is here too!”
“Alright, I need you to tell me your location right now.”
I rolled my eyes, “In London,” I answered.
“Michelle, I need something more specific than that. Are you in a public place? Are you using a cell phone?”
“Its a brand new one,” I answered. “I'm throwing it away as soon as I get off the phone with you. Now that I finally got your attention, do you mind telling me what's going to happen?”
“I'm going to inform the authorities in England. I'm also going to figure out how they got out of the United States.”
“How long will that take?”
“I'm taking care of it right now. Until then, I need you to stay low. Do not call relatives or anyone else. I need you to buy a new cell phone. Go to the local computer room and send me the number for that phone. If you want to make personal calls, make it short just in case. Do you understand me?”
I nodded, “Yeah, I got it. I'm just letting you know I'm getting out of the country after midnight.”
“That's fine. The farther you are from London, the better. Remember what I told you to do, Michelle.”
“Got it,” I hung up the phone and threw it out. I bought another cheap phone and card. After that, I went to a local library and emailed my new phone number. Afterward, I got back on my motorcycle and drove off. I was already twenty minutes out of London and decided to go to a local coffee shop. I sat near the exit and facing the window. My sunglasses were on and I was wearing a hat. I even decided to grab a light colored brunette wig just in case. It looked ridiculous on me, but realistic and thankfully with my accessories, it looked like my natural hair.
I dialed Harry's number. “Hello?” he said.
“It's me,” I said calmly. “Listen, I have to make this short. I'm going to talk fast, so keep up. I only want yes and no answers. Are you safe?”
“Yes,” Harry said.
“I need you to warn the family. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes.”
“Don't go to the apartment until you hear from me or a detective with the last name of Hunter. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“I need you to tell Niall something. I need you to tell him I'm sorry and I wish things were different. Say that I warned him about me. Can you do that?”
Harry hesitated, “Yes.”
I took a deep breath, knowing that tears were close. “I'm sorry I got you into this. I just needed you to be safe. I needed all of you to be safe. I can't let anything happen to you or anyone else I care about. I love you, our parents, our sister. Tell Mercedes and everyone else I love them. You won't hear from me or see me for awhile. This might be the last time you hear from me for a long time. Don't worry about me. I'll find a way to get out. Okay?”
Harry sucked in a breath. I knew that he was trying to stay strong for me. “Love you, Sis. Be safe,” he mumbled.
I hung up the phone and wiped my tears under my eyes. I took a deep breath. I tried figuring out what Niall was doing with Will. I was so confused. There was too much going on and Niall being there didn't make sense to me.
I stayed at the coffee shop until it was closing time. After that, I went to the grocery store and bought some food for me going on the road. I was planning on taking a ferry somewhere outside of England and then stay in a country until it was safe again. I didn't know what country, but I needed to think of one. I was running out of time. I grabbed a quick bite to eat at a twenty four hour diner. I bought extra food for myself for later on that night.
When I was done, it was almost midnight. So I went to the plaque for my parents. I set down one flower for them. I didn't know what to say to them. If nothing happened, I would've went to a tattoo shop today and got a tattoo of another raven so that there would be six. The sixth raven would've represented that this was the official sixth year without my parents.
“I know what happened was my fault,” I muttered. “I'm sorry for what I did to you. If I could redo my life again, I would. We know that's not possible though. I hate how the past always comes back. There was a part of me that thought this was going to work, but no, it didn't. I'm still running. I had five good years of just smiling and having fun. Now, that this is the sixth year, it's going down. I'm losing the life I was building here. I guess it's fair. I took your lives away and now mine will constantly be taken away for the rest of my life.”
I wiped a few leaves off of my parents' plaque. I remembered all he good memories I had with them. I wished I wasn't stung by the rebellious bug at fourteen. If I wasn't, my parents would be alive. Every day, I wished I didn't kill them, but I can't change the past. If I could, I would've already done it.
I stared up at the sky. “I just want to be free again,” I sobbed. “Why can't I be set free? Give me back my freedom.” I dropped down and curled into a ball, crying. I couldn't handle this life anymore. I couldn't handle all the stress and feeling like I would die. I couldn't stand what I did in my past and I wanted to change it every day, but I can't. That's what made it difficult to live with myself.
I drove back to my storage unit. When I got my first job, I saved up and got a storage unit. I used the storage unit to hide away who I really was. Outside the storage unit, I was Roxanne Marie Styles, the adoptive daughter of Anne, Gemma, Harry Styles, and eventually adoptive daughter to Robin Milward. When I was inside the storage unit, I was still Roxanne, but I also had Michelle Raven Geronimo Peralejo. Somehow, the storage unit brought my past and present together. It was my borderline between my two lives.
I unlocked the garage and parked my bike inside. As I closed and locked the garage, I turned to flick on the lights, but stopped. They were already on. I quietly removed my helmet and pulled out my gun. I cocked the gun back so that it was loaded and moved it out of safety. The gun was ready to be fired.
I slowly walked around, gun at the ready. I saw a figure move and I pointed at the figure. “Whoa!” Niall shouted, holding his hands up. “Don't shoot!”
My eyes widened, “Niall?”
He nodded, “Were you expecting someone else?”
Niall stepped towards me, causing me to point my gun at him. “Stop coming forward. How the fuck did you get in here?”
“Hello to you too,” Niall grumbled. I turned him around and shoved him against the wall. “What are you doing?”
I started to pat him down, “Shut up. Were you followed?”
“No and are you frisking me?”
I pulled out his gun from his waist belt. “Turn around slowly,” I said, pointing my gun at him. He did what he was told. “Answer me, how the hell did you find me?”
“Why are you hiding?”
“Why the hell do you care?” I shot back.
“Why are you wanted by that guy?” Niall shouted.
“You should know, you were helping him look for me! You acted like you pitied me when I told you about Will and I caught you today hanging out with him!”
“What the fuck are you talking about? I don't know Will! I never met him! Why the hell are you being chased? What the hell did you do?! Who beat you up like that?!”
“Don't you start this, Niall!”
“I'm not starting shit! You're the one who is hiding something from me!”
“Don't act like you didn't either! We hid a lot of things from each other!” I kept my gun pointed at him. “Answer me now, what the hell were you doing? Why were you one of the people after me?!”
Niall sighed, “Put the gun away and we'll talk.”
“How am I supposed to trust you?”
“You took my gun and you frisked me. I have no other weapon. Now, just put the gun away and we can talk. Come on, Rox, or should I say Michelle?”
I stiffened. “How do you know Michelle?”
“You tell me the truth about everything and I will tell you mine.”
“You first,” I said, slowly putting the gun down.
Niall moved towards me as I put the gun away. “I work for a guy named Hector Johnson. He used to be a serious drug dealer and that's who my brother worked for at the time. I didn't lie to you about my brother. What I didn't tell you was the business that I was involved in.”
“Are you a dealer?” I asked him.
He shook his head, “No, I never was a dealer. Hector changed his business. He became a shark loaner. He loaned his money to idiots and if they didn't pay it off, shit happens to them. I am usually the one who takes care of it. Hector would call to either get me to the warehouse or he would give me the address. When I was at their house, I would threaten them to give the money. You know, scare them. Sometimes I would have to go as far as hurting them to prove that Hector doesn't like waiting.”
“Why would you accept this kind of job?”
Niall cleared his throat, “My brother owed Hector a lot of money because of the deal going bad, over ten thousand pounds. When I was a junior in high school, Hector made me work for him until my brother got out of jail or I work until the money is paid off. If I refused, he would use my parents against me. I couldn't let anything happen to them so I agreed to do it. I know that it might've been an empty threat, but I couldn't risk their lives. It was in my hands and I couldn't live with myself if something happened to them.”
I turned my head away. “Those aren't empty threats,” I muttered and cleared my throat. “Those are never empty threats. Is that all?”
Niall nodded, “Tell me your story now.”
I took a deep breath. The only people who knew the truth was Harry's family and Mercedes. “My original birth name is Michelle Raven Geronimo Peralejo,” I said. “I told you the truth about Will. What I didn't tell you was what happened before Will put me in the hospital for three months and everything else after that. Will's father is a popular drug dealer in the west coast, some parts in the east, and a few other countries. Will became a drug dealer and hoped to follow his father's footsteps one day. I didn't care about it though, I thought I loved Will and that's all that mattered. Our relationship took a turn when Will killed someone during one of his deals. I freaked out and was scared of Will after that. We would always fight and he would use the drugs. When I couldn't take it anymore, I tried breaking up with him. That night, I was sent to the hospital.”
“He abused you,” Niall mumbled.
“His father threatened me not to tell anyone about what happened. He also demanded that I wouldn't talk to the police, so I didn't. My parents wanted Will and his father to stay away from me after that. It wasn't until I got out of the hospital when a Detective Hunter came up to me with an offer. He said that he would provide full protection, my name cleared, and I wouldn't have to deal with Will's family ever again if I testified against them. They knew that I had information that they needed to put Will and his father away. I agreed to the terms if they were going to put them away for good.” I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. “During one of the court days, Will's father told me not to testify and drop everything or else something was going to happen to my parents. I didn't believe him so I laughed at him and told him and his son to enjoy prison.”
“So you testified,” Niall nodded.
“I did and they were going to be put in prison. Before Will's father left the courthouse, he told me to enjoy my final hours with my parents. I shrugged it off and my parents and I decided to celebrate. My parents told the security that they weren't necessary since it was all over.” I looked down and sucked in a breath that turned into a sob. “One minute we were smiling and enjoying dinner and then the next they were on the ground with a bullet to their heads. After what happened, it was agreed that I needed a whole new identity. They changed my name, gave me new documentation, and since I was a minor I got adopted by Anne. She was a close friend to my mom when she went to college with her. Anne knew about me agreed to keep me even after she knew what was happening, even after what she found out about what happened to my parents. I didn't even tell my parents that Dominic threatened their lives. I put their lives in danger and they didn't even know. It was all my fault for allowing this to happen.”
Niall hugged me tightly, “It's not your fault. You didn't know.”
“Yes, I did Niall! I knew what could happen. I didn't care about it at all. I was selfish and a fucking idiot. You didn't have a choice to join this life, but I did. I chose the most stupid irresponsible thing and for that, I lost my parents.”
“Don't blame yourself. Your parents wouldn't want that,” Niall whispered. He leaned away from me, staring into my eyes. “Now, I need you to tell me what you did to make Billy go after you.”
I rolled my eyes, “Niall, William has two nicknames: Will or Billy.”
Niall stiffened. “Will is Billy?”
I nodded, “Dominic is his father who likes to call him Billy. I always called him Will.”
Niall's hands dropped from my shoulders. He slammed his fist against the wall. “I was working with the one who abused you and actually thought he was an alright guy! How could I be so stupid?!”
“You didn't know,” I said.
He looked at me. “He's the one who did this to you? He beat you up the night I dropped you off?” When I nodded, Niall threw something down, but I didn't care. He walked over to me, cupping my cheeks lightly, “I'm so sorry, Rox. I wish I knew. If I knew he did this to you...”
“Even if you knew, you couldn't do anything. Niall, you work for Dominic's brother. If you did something, you wouldn't here now. And we wouldn't be able to say goodbye to each other.”
Niall shook his head, “You're not leaving. You're not leaving me.”
“Niall, I have no choice.”
“Yes, you do, Rox. I can't let you leave me. I don't want to lose you.”
“If I don't leave, I will be dead. Niall, you know how this goes. If I stay here, I'm a target. If I go somewhere, leave the country, I might have a chance. My survival will be a lot higher than staying here. I have to go. You know that I need to leave. I have to leave now.”
I turned to walk away. “But I love you,” Niall said.
I froze in my spot and looked at him. “What did you say?”
Niall looked into my eyes. They were glossy and tears were ready to drop. “I love you.”
No, he couldn't do this to me. The words that he said made my heart beat fast. My legs shook and I had butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't let him say it to me. He couldn't do this to me, not now. “Take that back, Niall.”
“I love you,” he said again.
“Stop it. Take that back right now,” I said through my gritted teeth.
“I love you.”
“Stop it!” I shouted at him, storming over to him and hitting his chest. “Stop it! Take it back! Take it back right now!”
Niall grabbed my wrists and pulled me closer. I winced from the pain of the pull, but couldn't pull away from him. He cupped my cheeks, forced me to look at him, and said, “I love you. I love you, Roxanne Marie Styles. I love you, Michelle Raven Geronimo Peralejo. I love you and I won't ever take that back.”
I sobbed as I clutched onto him. I hugged him tightly and he returned the hug. I cried out from the pain from my ribs. Niall tried pulling away, but I stopped him and kept hugging him. I hid my face on his shoulder and cried. They were tears of happiness and tears of sadness. Happiness because I felt like he was telling me the truth and how deep down inside I wanted him to say those three words to me. I was sad because they weren't said in a situation that doesn't involve our lives being a threat and how I had to leave. I didn't want to leave, but we both knew I had to. I just couldn't leave yet. I couldn't leave after this. He loves me, I thought. And I love him.