Death. Once it was introduced into your life, it became a constant companion who demanded all your attention and energy.
Her every thought was of Mia. For two years she'd been a part of their group. Younger than her but still a huge part of her life. Seth's little sister.
She spoke her mind and was funny. She liked to push her brother's buttons by the things she did and said. Mia wasn't easy on her brother, but two siblings have never been closer.
They had to be. All they had were each other. Neither of their parents were ever around nor did they bother to concern themselves with the everyday life of their children.
Seth had raised his sister ever since his parents felt that nannies were no longer needed. He was the one who made sure she kept her grades up. He was the one who took her phone away when she got into trouble at school.
She was a good kid. Out there and free spirited but good. Smart.
Last year for the talent show, she slicked back her hair and dressed up like Freddie Mercury. What she had missed on the vocals she'd more than made up for in ridiculous and finesse. She had the whole auditorium on their feet.
Took home second place.
When Paisley closed her eyes, she didn't see Mia on that stage rocking to Don't stop Me Now, wearing a skintight white unitard.
She saw her in a small, dark room with no windows. Saw her with her face battered and broken.
Mine carved into her stomach.
Jay wouldn't let her in that cabin. Wouldn't let her see Mia's body but she didn't need to.
She knew what Mia's last hours were like, because she lived it too. The only difference is she got away. Someone saved her and no one saved Mia.
In Paisley's mind, Mia would be forever trapped in that cabin. Hurt and alone. And it was all her fault.
Jay squeezed her hand and wouldn't let up on the pressure until she looked up at him.
He knew what she was thinking, and he wanted her to stop blaming herself.
That would not happen. Especially not today.
Turning, she watched as Seth placed a red rose on his sister's casket. He could barely stand but he wouldn't allow anyone to help him.
He blamed himself too. He'd done absolutely nothing wrong, but he still blamed himself.
His parents were here, but he stayed away from them. He stood alone. If anyone even tried to talk to him, he moved away.
It's been like that for days. Ever since she told him about his sister.
Mine.
He squeezed her hand again. Don't, Paisley. Don't do that to yourself. That's what he did to you, not to her. He pulled her into his arms. "He can't hurt anyone else." He said aloud, as he pressed a kiss to her temple.
She felt him trying to sooth her, but she didn't want to be soothed. She moved away from him even though she knew it wouldn't do any good. He was still trying to ease her suffering.
"Jay, please don't. Not today."
He stopped but she could still feel his love. Sighing, she held onto that as she looked over everyone gathered in the cemetery.
Everyone in black except for Hannah, Josh, and Jackson. They all wore pink. Mia's favorite color. They were celebrating their friend's life. All Paisley could do is think about her death.
Jay took her hand again.
For one moment she allowed herself to lean on him, allowed herself to borrow his strength then she looked up at him. "I need to go to him. I'm the only one he'll let anywhere near him."
"I know. I'll be here if you need me."
She'd already taken several steps away when she looked back at him. She had no words to offer him, but she knew he'd know what she was feeling.
It was like she was drowning in the middle of the sea and the only thing keeping her from going under was him. He was her light in the darkness.
His love was like a warm caress. Across the distance, he gave her the strength she needed so she could go to Seth and offer him the only comfort she had to offer him. Her friendship.
He was her friend. They had dated but now she could see that even then they'd just been great friends.
It had always been Jay for her.
Seth still had feelings for her. All day he's been pushing people away from him but as soon as she offered him her hand, he took it.
She was his light in the dark.