Quote
Sometimes we would be expecting too much from others, because we would be willing to do that much for them.
~Pinterest
Serena
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
He left me.
Oh no Serena, he didn't. You did.
Adrian. I'm sorry that I yelled at you.
Come back.
Please.
I was pacing myself towards somewhere; anywhere. I didn't know what really happened. Adrian and I were perfect and he had told me the exact thing, but I screwed everything up.
But he was not ready to accept he did wrong.
He wasn't feeling guilty.
It seemed so unfair.
In a kind of way, I didn't want to know who was wrong or who was right. Adrian had his ego gripping his self esteem and was gradually erasing the care we had for each other.
And my ego, that wanted me to make Adrian realize that he was wrong. His ego was wrong. He kissed another girl in front of my eyes and was having not a mere sense of guilt of about it.
How could he kiss a girl?
Did he do this all the time?
It was so cold outside. I felt so alone. I had never felt so alone in my entire life. Even when they left me to die in a lonely barn, I was never this lonely.
I couldn't understand why I felt this way. My soul was incomplete, a crashed trampled heart beating feebly against my poor chest.
'I don't want you controlling what I do and what I don't.'
I sighed. All this time, I'd never wanted to control anyone else; specially the person I cared most. All this time, I wanted him to be mine. Only mine.
But to him Owning a person means 'controlling'.
And I'm not ready to do that.
I was still striding through nowhere. I wanted Adrian to come back for me. At times with tearful eyes and a blurred vision, I looked back each time when I heard footsteps behind me.
They did not belong to Adrian.
Adrian did not come for me.
He had given up on me.
Fuck me.
The only place that was left for me was the Donut shop. Not knowing how I ended up almost meters away from it, I hurried to the parking space. For my sheer luck, it was closed.
On the board beneath the Sparkling bold words that spelled 'Donuts' were Alex's phone number.
I searched my pockets.
Shit I don't have a phone. Or a way to call her. Or anyone.
I might really end up sleeping on the road, praying that some damn vehicle would be kind enough to go through me.
That I needed right now.
***
Adrian
Gone.
The clock struck midnight and I suddenly jerked myself from where I was. I had been staring at the clock since forever and it was exactly 1 hour without Serena.
But it feels like an infinity.
I still couldn't come into proper senses. It was as if everything was a nightmare that would disintegrate any minute. And I was waiting for that nightmare to wake me.
But it seemed so real. So lucid.
She was gone.
Gone.
Forever.
'I will leave someday, very soon. But I can't tell you when...'
She left me. Yes. Just like that.
"I will be a wind that passes by, Adrian." Her words rang in my head at a distance, "I can't be anything more and I don't want to break your heart."
She was indecisively wrong.
She promised me that she would be a wind. Only a wind that passes me.
But she was a Hurricane, a wrecking gale that uprooted deeper roots.
She promised me that she wouldn't break my heart.
But she broke her promise.
No one had ever left me this sore. This unhappy.
The way her beautiful eyes turned bulbous against her big dissatisfying words she yelled at me, I was hurt every time I recalled it.
'Fuck you too, Adrian.'
The words did not hurt me. It was the person who said them hurt me the most.
She was unpredictable. I didn't know what I did to deserve this. I only kissed Ana because of a damn play and only because the damn teacher forced me to. I did not feel guilty kissing a girl for drama.
It was true that I belonged to her.
But sometimes there are things I couldn't avoid.
And for crying out aloud, I would never cheat on her.
Still, she was hurt by what I had to do.
But I was not at fault.
I didn't hurt her.
She shouldn't have left.
It was all her fault.
When she realizes that, she will come back.
Til then, I'll wait.
Serena
"Holy crap, Little Miss Unreadable, What are you doing here?"
The night club was crowded as usual. The disco lights were glaring my vision as I sheepishly made myself to nowhere.
There was not a single place I was welcome. I couldn't face Adrian again. I yelled at him. I said bad things to him. Blamed him.
He wouldn't forgive me.
He had been so kind to me from the very day my mother left me. He had offered me a place of stay and took good care of me as a responsible boyfriend.
And I, after receiving all the regard, yelled at him.
It was all my fault.
I should have forgiven him.
After all he did not mean anything.
"Did you and Adrian break up?" Barry was asking, his green eyes locking up with mine.
I felt dizzy.
All the heartbreak, all the heartache, they had totally gulped down my inner strength.
And shit, I had no money.
"Forget about Adrian," I told Barry, "right now I need a drink. Will you buy me one?"
"Oh I'll buy you two, sweetie. But in exchange, I need something too. Okay?"
I blinked my eyes at him.
He was giving me his Cupid Gaze.
Fuck the Cupid.
"What is it that you need, Cupid?" I stuttered, trying hard not to punch him in the face.
"Not something big and not something small either," he mouthed, "a kiss."
Cupids are not fucking.
They are kissing.
Fuck the kissing Cupid.
"Okay," I grumbled, "buy me two drinks and you get a kiss."
Barry rolled his eyes at me.
"Don't fool the Cupid sweetie," he said, "kiss before drinks..."
I considered a moment.
Adrian did kiss someone in front of my own eyes. It wasn't fair if I stayed tolerating like a nun.
Everything in this world needs to be fair; like a square.
I pulled Barry from the sleeve. His eyes looked startled as they looked at me, quite hungrily.
Stealthily, I grabbed his lips for a brief kiss.
"Woah..." I heard him gasp, "that was sudden. How about a longer one?"
"Buy me two drinks, Spongebob," I told him, swearing like.
"Okay, okay..."
By the time I reached the bar and stood waiting with Barry til the drinks arrive, I saw someone who could freeze the marrow of my bones.
Suddenly every living cell in my body felt the attraction, the energy, the consolation, just by glimpsing his piercing blue eyes.
He looked at me as though nothing stood in my place.
I wanted to talk to him.
"Don't even think about stealing my drinks," I warned Barry as he winked at me.
Sheepishly, I followed him through the dancing crowds. I wanted to run into his arms. I wanted to forgive him. I wanted to tell him how much I needed him.
Right now, nothing mattered more.
He was everything that I needed.
Spotting him in the crowds, I headed towards him.
He had his back facing me.
"Adrian, I'm sorry." I told him.
He didn't make any motion. He didn't turn back to face me.
"Everything is alright, baby. Come into my arms," his voice spoke, not looking back at me.
"Adrian? It's me. I came back."
"I know baby. Nothing can make us apart. I promise."
I approached him, cautiously.
"Adrian?"
Two skinny hands wrapped around him. He pulled them closer to him, just like the way he used to hug me.
What is he doing?
Was he not talking to me all this time?
I shivered as I approached him from the front.
Embracing my Adrian was a girl I barely knew a few hours ago. She had super blonde hair that fell pass down her short glittering miniskirt. Despite all that, she was keeping her head close to his chest, her arms locked around him.
I wanted to die.
"Hello Serena," Ana spoke, her voice victorious as ever, "enjoying the scene?"
Hello my loves,
I'm sorry for the late update. But I promise you to give more constant updates in the next three days.
And I got to know that some of you did not get notified of the chapter I posted a few days ago. You can check out the messages I post relating to the newest updates on the News Feed( you have to follow me to get that).
So please don't forget to encourage me.
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P. S. It's 3.10 am here. I can't sleep and I'm sort of chewing cheddar cheese right now. What about you guys?