i hear taehyung's heart beating. his slow breathing.
i hate him, yet i still want to stay in his arms? maybe because he isn't aware of it even happening. he's hugging me. someone he isn't fond of at all.
but now that i think about it, he probably thinks i'm hoseok.
hoseok.
he's hugging me as tight as taehyung's hugging me.
maybe he thinks i'm taehyung?
okay, i can't do this anymore. i feel guilty for some reason.
as slow as i can, i lift my leg off of taehyung's body. fuck, j-hope's legs are wrapped around me too.
okay, maybe if i just do this all in one go, they'll move but won't wake up.
his arms hold me. i feel his face gently pressed against my back.
i don't want to get up.
but...i have to eventually. i'm sad.
i quickly but gently slide down the bed, like a snake. i'm on the floor now. wow, none of them moved even the slightest.
it's still night time. i look at the clock. oh shit, it's 4 am? the other members managed to go back to their rooms, yet tae and hoseok stayed here? i wonder what happened.
i stand up. immediately i hold my head with my hand. shit, i have a headache.
okay, i'll just go to jungkook's room and sleep there or something. i start walking away.
"where you going?" a groggy voice awakens from behind me. i turn around.
hoseok props his elbow as he leans his head in his hand. he just woke up, and he's smiling.
"i'm going to sleep somewhere else." i whisper.
"...why?" he asks.
i grow frustrated. "why? what do you mean why?"
i practically hiss at him. i answer the question by jabbing my finger towards taehyung's sleeping body. then i hold my head again, man i must've drank a lot.
j-hope silently chuckles. what does he want?
he slowly moves towards taehyung. immediately taehyung finds hoseok's body and pulls him towards his own. now they were cuddling without me.
"it's comfy." hoseok leans his head on taehyung's. he's teasing me. he's actually teasing me. does he want me to go back?
i can't.
i roll my eyes and start walking away.
wait.
i stop myself for walking out the door. i turn around. i have to at least ask him.
"hoseok?"
he opens his eyes. "yes?"
"was this...intentional?"
he closes his eyes again and smiles. "mhm~"
i continue walking out the door and close it behind me.
as i'm walking down the hallway, the memories from a few hours ago slowly come back.
he was sober. hoseok was sober the whole entire time last night.
since taehyung and i drank the rest of the bottle, we were the most drunk out of everyone. the rest of the members went back to their rooms without realizing that we were left behind.
"you want to stay here, taehyung-ah?" hoseok asked.
"mhm~" taehyung nodded with his eyes closed. "i want to sleep here with bomi-ah~"
"gross, get away from me." i growled and climbed to my own bed.
"let me be with you~" taehyung climbed after me. he started hugging me. his head was snuggled against the crook of my neck. i gave him weak pushes but i started to give up. i hugged him back.
"what a beautiful sight." hoseok stood beside us, watching two drunk enemies cuddle. he had a genuine smile on his face.
taehyung yawned. he grabbed hoseok's hand and lightly tugged. "come sleep with us, hobi-ahhh"
"yeah, hurry up, slowpoke." i urged. hoseok laughed.
"okay okay, i'm coming." he climbed onto the bed. instead of immediately laying behind me like he was when i first found him, he stayed hovering on top of me. he looked into my eyes. his face was inches above mine.
"what are you doing?" i asked.
i stop in the middle of the hallway.
i remember what he said.
he wasn't smiling. he went closer and he whispered.
"i want to kiss you."
he glanced at taehyung. the drunk boy was already fast asleep, holding me tight. hoseok looked back at me.
my heart stops. i hold my head. the image is so vivid in my mind.
he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against mine.
"i really want to kiss you, bomi."
i remember just giggling. i remember him staying like that for a long time. his forehead pressed against mine. his slow breathing.
my eyes were feeling droopy. i was falling asleep. but he was still in the same exact position.
he said it one more time.
"i want to kiss you..."
it was softer though. he was falling asleep too.
i finally closed my eyes.
he slowly lifted his head up. there was no more warmth.
then...the warmth came back. but it wasnt his forehead on mine. it was his lips.
i put my hand to my forehead.
he kissed my forehead.
"one day."
and then he laid behind me, hugging me tight.
-
i slept in hoseok's bed next to jungkook's for the rest of night. then, i woke up and it literally felt like i only went to sleep for 10 minutes.
one of the managers went into the room.
"uh, why are you in here?" he asks me.
"it's a long story." i groan as i get up.
"okay, well help me wake up the others." he orders me. "our next destination is the fan meeting."
i walk out of jungkook and hoseok's room and go next door to namjoon and jin's.
they were already awake. i guess they weren't as hungover.
i go back out and i walk to yoongi and jimin's room. as i enter the room, i could already hear laughing and giggling. i guess they were already awake too.
i walk further in just to make sure.
my eyes widen at what i see. suga and jimin are in the same bed. that's not what surprised me though.
jimin's on top of yoongi. yoongi's taking off jimin's shirt. now he's shirtless.
my jaw literally drops.
yoongi puts both of his hands on jimin's sides and he pulls him closer. okay, they're kissing now. it's so passionate, it's fascinating. jimin's hands hold yoongi's head as they make out.
i can't stay quiet. i'm sorry, i just can't.
"oh my god."
the both of them stop kissing and immediately turn to my direction. both of their jaws drop, as well.
"um, okay." is all i could say before i start turning around and walking away.
"wait, bomi!" i hear jimin exclaim. before i walk further, he blocks my path. damn he's fast.
"bomi, you can't say anything!" he grabs my shoulders. he's still shirtless...i can't take him seriously.
"relax, i won't." i laugh. i was just going to get some fresh air after seeing that show. "i'm just surprised, that's all."
"really, please, we're begging you." yoongi walks in front of me, as well.
"if any of the members find out, we'd be dead." jimin adds.
"yeah, i know." i reply. "you two aren't the first ones anyway so..."
"what do you mean?" yoongi gives me a puzzled look.
i clear my throat and look away. "tae and hoseok beat you guys to it..."
jimin and yoongi look at each other in surprise.
"you're kidding!" yoongi scoffs.
"unfortunately not." i mutter.
"no, you're actually kidding right?" jimin laughs. he takes his hands off my shoulders. why is it so hard to believe?
"why are you guys so surprised?"
"it's just- i mean," yoongi looks at jimin again and then answers. "hoseok talks about you all the time."
my heart jumps. "bullshit."
"nope," jimin shakes his head. "he was so excited when he found out you got to come with us this month."
"and he always makes comments when tae isn't around. he says thinks like 'she's so pretty,' 'she's such a cool girl,' shit like that." yoongi adds.
do they think this is making me happy? no, i'm fucking frustrated. what does this boy think he's doing? he's with taehyung, god damn it! did he forget that he kissed him two weeks ago?
i really have to confront him about it soon, because i really don't want to cause trouble for taehyung.
"well...tell him to stop doing that." i blurt out.
"really? i'd think you'd want to approach him about it." jimin widens his eyes. "you like him, don't you?"
"i mean- yeah, but taehyung likes him a lot too." i reply.
"eh, it's okay, taehyung will live." yoongi swats the air with his hand.
seriously, what is wrong with these boys? am i the only one who cares about taehyung's feelings? and i'm the one who likes him the least.
"bet kookie will help you out too." jimin laughs.
"seriously guys, don't do anything." i say. "just let them be. i'm supposed to be here to do my job, not find a lover."
"mhm, whatever you say~" yoongi smirks as the two lovers start walking out. jimin halts.
"wait, you won't tell anyone right? especially joon?"
"i won't, chimmy." i roll my eyes.
"thanks, bom." yoongi smiles. "we really owe you one."
they walk out.
"no, you don't!" i yell. i really hope they don't interfere with what's going on between me and hoseok. if there's anything at all.
-
surprisingly, the managers let me attend the fan meeting. they told me that they'd need my help collect the fan gifts and whatnot. am i an assistant now or something? i mean, i don't mind at all. watching the members interact with the fans is always entertaining.
i watch on the sidelines as a line of fans visit each member one by one. give them gifts, talk for a minute, then onto the next member; like a fan conveyor belt.
as expected, hoseok and taehyung got to sit next to each other. i'm supposed to be mad at hoseok, i know, but i can't help but admire him at this moment. how happy he seems when interacting with his fans. he smiles at them almost the same way he smiles at me...except, there's always something different when he does it to me.
as for taehyung, he looks happy too. i really wish he was like that with me, but no, he has to be petty all the time.
there's a gap in the conveyor belt, so hoseok and taehyung use that as a little break. they start playing with each other. a pang of jealousy hits me.
you can tell hoseok wanted to kiss him. ugh, and he wanted to kiss me too last night? how does that make sense?
one of the managers nudges me. "hoseok's fan gift pile is filling up."
i nod and walk behind the members' table. i approach the gifts in front of hoseok.
okay, act normal. don't do anything, don't say anything. don't even try to look salty.
the fan in front of hoseok looks up at me.
"oh- byun bom!" she calls me out.
i'm not supposed to say anything, so i just smile as i collect the gifts and gather all of them in my arms.
"ah, you know my stylist, bomi?" hoseok asks the fan. ugh.
"of course!" her eyes brighten up. "she's your girlfriend!"
i slightly jump. all the gifts fall to the floor. holy shit.
hoseok turns from his seat to help me. what the fuck, don't help me!
"girlfriend?" he replies to the fan...but he says it in my ear.
i hurry up and snatch the gifts from hoseok's hands. i don't make eye contact at all. then i quickly stand up.
"yeah! look!" the fan whips her phone out in front of us.
it's a picture of me in my room with hoseok. oh my god. it was when hoseok was reaching out for the color pencils when he was coloring my design, but it looks like we're kissing! no wonder i heard those fucking clicks, someone was taking pictures from outside my window.
"uh- that's not real. i mean- that's not what happened-" i struggle to find the right words.
"when did this happen?" taehyung buds in. he asks the fan nicely, but you can totally tell his smile is fake.
"the picture was taken at the very end of november~" the fan answers while also fawning over taehyung. taken literally two days after taehyung got with hoseok. fuck, this looks bad.
"yeah, but's it not what it looks like." i nervously laugh as i barely keep hold of the gifts. "right, hoseok?"
i look down on him. he's silently chuckling, as if this was fucking entertainment.
i look at taehyung for a second and he's surprised too.
before i can say anything else, manager-nim hisses at me to hurry up and come back. i quickly walk away as the fan congratulates me again.
this is a fucking mess.