two days have passed, and i haven't been doing much because j-hope finished his solo promotion for "daydream."
currently i've been working on my own things, especially designing my line.
i've always thought about doing it since i first started getting into fashion; however, i've never really had the supplies to do it. now that i'm working as a stylist, plus the money i get for promoting on instagram, i nearly have enough.
i'm sitting in front of my desk staring at the window in front of me. i see the park from my window, and it's empty. my neighborhood is pretty boring, no one walks around except for me.
i look down at my desk, at my drawing notebook. i just came up with an actual design an hour ago and i'm pretty satisfied with it.
i continue to sketch the other articles of clothing i was planning to launch: shirts, pants, and berets. i'm blasting my music so i can't hear anything but my thoughts. yes, i'm listening to kpop, and yes, i'm listening to bts.
i think i'm listening to one of the cyphers right now, but i can't tell which one. i don't really pay attention to the song titles.
i look at the outcome of the outfits i sketched.
they were really nice. i smile.
i choose the label to be called 'complementary' because i've always liked how contradicting complementary colors are.
they were opposites. blue and orange, yellow and purple, red and green. and i plan to add monochrome in the middle to represent...some sort of balance i guess? vibrant in the outside, dull in the inside.
my music stops for some reason. i look at my phone and realize that someone's calling me. i pick it up and realize it's hoseok.
i tap the green icon. "hello?"
"hey bomi, where are you?" he asks.
"i'm at home."
"what the fuck? open the door then." he laughs.
"what do you mean?" i ask.
"i'm outside, dummy." he answers. "i've been ringing the doorbell so many times."
oh shit.
"oh shit, sorry. yeah i'll get it right now."
why is he here? i haven't seen him since...since he kissed taehyung. again, my nerves resurface. they don't know i was there. so i guess i'm supposed to act like nothing happened at all? even though i still have mad feelings for him, i can't say or do anything.
i'll be fine.
before i get up i hear some kind of click. i hear another one right after. i look up at my window.
nothing's out there. i swear i heard something outside.
the doorbell rings. i quickly get up and jog to my front door.
i open it. hoseok stands in front of me. i try not to gasp or scream or anything.
he dyed his hair.
"ya, why weren't you answering?"
i clear my throat. "sorry, i was listening to music."
i love him with dark hair. i mean, of course i liked him with any hair color, but his dark hair always made him seem especially good looking to me. ironic, considering i rarely favor dark colors for anything.
"okay, well i stopped by to show you next month's schedule." he held out a piece of paper. shit, i just realized it was nearing the end of november already. "i wanted to explain this one to you thoroughly because it's gonna be a really busy schedule."
"yeah sure, come in." i smile. spending time with hoseok for the first time after his and tae's moment...hopefully i don't make it that awkward.
we go into my room. i get a chair for hoseok to sit on and we both sit at my desk.
he tells me that we'll both be busy literally 4 days each week of december. bts is going to be promoting the whole month, performing all around the country. pretty ironic too, considering taehyung and hoseok are dating now. they should make sure not to let the members or the staff know. i don't make a comment about that though.
he also mentioned that he's doing a couple of unit promotions with some of the members (taehyung, namjoon, and yoongi) and another solo comeback. i'm thinking ahead...i'm going to be with him almost everyday in december. i don't know if that'll be fun or if it'll just sadden me.
"so yeah it's a lot of traveling, you'd probably have to stay in hotels with us and whatnot." hoseok looks at me with hopeful eyes. "you're okay with that right?"
i smile. "of course."
at least i'll be able to see the other members too, it shouldn't be that bad.
"great." he smiles back. now we're just staring at each other. i don't know what to say.
he doesn't seem to feel the awkwardness though, but he does look down at my desk.
"woah, what are these?" he picks up my designs.
"oh- just some ideas for a line i want to start..." i sheepishly smile as i prop my elbow on my desk and rest my head on my hand. i'm looking at hoseok, literally admiring him while he's admiring my sketches.
"this is so brilliant, bomi." his face looks so amused. so cute. "i would love to see this work out."
"you really think so?" i look over my designs with him. i was planning to launch it for my own pleasure really, i don't expect it to trend or anything.
"yeah, especially the complimentary concept." he nods. "were you going to put one complimentary color in one space and another color in the other?"
"oh, yeah." my eyes widen in surprise. he totally understood my vision.
he picks up my pencil. "do you mind?"
i quickly shook my head. he started labeling the colors on the shirt.
i already split the shirt in half horizontally, putting a circle in the middle for the monochrome.
"so the top can be...yellow." he writes yellow next to the top side of the shirt. "and then the bottom is purple."
"exactly." i nod my head, still resting it on my hand.
"what color is the circle supposed to be though?" he tilts his head in confusion. "red so it can be a primary concept?"
"well...i mean, that's a good idea too," i reply, "but i wanted to add monochrome."
"like...black?" he looks at me. his face was slightly serious.
"...yeah." i slowly say. i'm trying to read his face but he's expressionless. then he gives me a small smile.
"that's a big contrast, i like it." he looks at me.
i could tell he isn't fond of the dark color idea, yet he still sticks with it. he's so kind...and i can't have him. i have to keep reminding myself that.
he looks at my other designs. he gives me the idea that i should have 3 sets of outfits, each one containing a set of complementary colors along with the black or white accents. for the pants i was originally going to have one leg be one color and the other leg the other color, but hobi said it was a little too much—which i totally agreed with.
instead, he recommended them to just be jeans with patches of the colors. i liked that idea way more. and as for the berets, we both agreed on one color being the rim of the hat and the other color as the main; the monochrome part would be a circle on the side of the rim.
these ideas spill out of our mouths in a matter of only 10 minutes. i truly enjoy this bonding moment between us, i can't stop smiling.
"okay, now that we pretty much planned everything, let's actually color them." he chuckles. he looks around for my color pencils. they're right behind me, yet i don't move. i let him get them.
he scoots forward and grabs them, passing me in the process. i didn't think he'd get that close to me, but he does.
the side of his face nearly brushes the side of mine. i can see his collarbone. i don't know why i cared to notice it.
he retracts his body and starts coloring. he didn't notice how close he got to me. we're still close right now though, because some of the sketches are right in front of me. he doesn't bother to move them closer to himself.
this is the first time hoseok doesn't seem to intentionally create that warmth. i still feel it though, and it saddens me that he doesn't.
"i'm really enjoying helping you with this." hoseok speaks up. "when taetae created his line, he didn't let me contribute whatsoever. he's very possessive like that."
yeah, no shit.
i frown at the mention of 'taetae,' but i try my best to hide my change of mood. i stay silent.
my head still rests on my hand. i'm looking down at the sketches. he colors them so perfectly, even though they're only rough drafts. and...his hand looks so nice and soft. i wish i could touch it again.
it stops moving.
"is something wrong?"
i look up at him. he's looking at me with a concerned look on his face. "you seem sad."
i sit up and shake my head. "oh no, sorry. i was just thinking about stuff..."
wow, i guess i'm bad at hiding my expressions.
hoseok sets the color pencil down. he clears his throat. "look...about what happened two days ago..."
oh no, he wants to talk about it. i tense up.
"...and what happened in the changing room..." he continues without looking at me. "i hope we can just forget about it all."
i can feel my heart drop. i don't say anything. i can't say anything. i knew this would happen eventually, but i didn't know it would hit me this hard.
"i'm sorry if i seemed like some arrogant playboy." he apologizes. he's still not looking at me. "it's habit i guess...maybe because i get desperate sometimes."
i still stay silent. why is he blaming himself?
"i'm surprised you're still willing to work for me after all that shit." he lets out a short chuckle.
of course i would still do it. i've admired you for so long. yet, when i had the chance to have you, to touch you, i refrained.
i feel like i've talked, but nothing comes out of my mouth.
he keeps talking. "thank you for still being here for me though. you're nothing like my other stylists. you're humble."
that's when he turns to face me.
my mouth still doesn't move.
"i'm sorry for misleading you," he gives a small smile, "but you don't have to worry about me trying to advance you anymore."
oh no. please don't say it.
"i'm in a relationship with taehyung now." he still smiles.
another hit in my heart.
yet i manage to give him a smile. i look into his eyes. he's happy, so i smile.
the weakest smile i've ever given.
"that's good." i finally reply. he smiles wider.
he didn't notice how fake my smile was. maybe it was for the best.
jungkook isn't the only one who has to make a vow now.
[A/N: just a lil filler chapter for yall :) will j-hope ever know that bom likes him? we'll find out soon~ pls do me a favor and vote & comment, it really helps!]