Just a whole lotta shipping- AND I WAS SO EMBARASSED WRITING THIS LIKE OMG HOW
Kyungsoo blushed deep red as he was put onto Kai's lap. Kai gave him a seductive smile as he trailed his fingers up and down his arms, raising an eyebrow. He pressed his nose into Kyungsoo's chest before giving him a cheesy hug. The members laughed their heads off, some almost crying with laughter.
"Come on, who can beat that?" Kai mocked as Kyungsoo jumped off, trying not to punch anyone and everyone. Luhan patted his shoulder, giggling. All of EXO, all twelve, grown adults, were playing a ridiculous game- Seduce. Basically, act like anyone and everyone is your boyfriend. Whoever is the wildest wins. Add a bit of alcohol and... well, let the games begin.
"Come on, we did better!" Chen said, grinning. His hand was slung over the shoulders of a passed out Xiumin, who had pretended to make out with Chen. The members were surprised that they hadn't actually touched lips- the two weren't the quietest in the bedroom. (A/N someone pass the holy water)
Suho and Lay had gone first, and Suho was too embarrassed to move. So Lay had taken control and caressed his cheeks, simply whispering to him. Lay had excused himself to get some water when he saw Kris's death glares.
"Kai, choose someone!" Sehun said, clapping his hands like a toddler.
"Alright..." He laughed. "I know! Chanyeol and Baekhyun!"
Baekhyun jumped up and giggled. After two beers and rounds of laughing, everyone knew he'd put on a great show. Chanyeol sat up, only for Baekhyun to push him back down. He went on his hands and knees, crawling towards the rapper. Everyone laughed when he trailed his arms up to Chanyeol's shoulders and looked down at him with sneaky eyes. But his tight hug ruined the moment and everyone simply laughed again.
"I love you!" Baekhyun said in a baby voice, grinning like a little kid. Chanyeol laughed and hugged him back.
"Go ahead, choose someone!" Sehun giggled. He was secretly hoping for him and Luhan.
Chanyeol hummed. "Maybe... Luhan and-"
"TAO AND KRIS!" Baekhyun interrupted, laughing hysterically.
Everyone lost it- hooting, roaring, and banging their hands on the poor coffee table. Tao tried crawling away but was dragged back by Lay.
"What? No, too far!" Kris said, wrinkling his nose. The entire game he was secretly on his phone, drinking his beer in peace.
"Come on Kris," Chanyeol taunted. "Come on, we all know you two are in love!"
"I shouldn't have bought that case of beer," Kris growled. "It turns you all into high school girls."
"What, is our leader chicken?" Chen mocked. He clucked like one, crossing his eyes and flapping his hands like a bird. Everyone laughed again and Kris rolled his eyes.
"Very funny. I'm not doing it."
"Fine," Chanyeol grinned evilly. "Kai and Tao."
Kris choked on his beer, coughing into his hand. He looked up to see Kai biting his lip and eyes travelling around Tao's body hungrily. Kris seethed and slammed his beer can down, making everyone look at him again.
"Not your horny ass!" (A/N I CAN'T-)
"What?" Kai smirked and sat up a bit. "I don't mind-"
"Fine! If we're playing like that, fine."
He yanked Tao towards him, making the maknae yelp slightly.
"Do not take any of this seriously," Kris growled.
He pinned Tao to the couch and forced his hands away. The guys watched in shock as Kris kissed his way to Tao's collarbone and nuzzled his neck. Tao's entire face turned entirely red as Kris wrapped his arms around Tao's waist and pulled him close, giving him his best seductive stare. He came close and gave his nose a peck before turning to the others.
"I win!" He said, grinning. Everyone was so surprised that they didn't even tease the stuttering, overly embarrassed maknae- who, by the way, was still wrapped in Kris's long arms.
"K-Kris!" Tao gasped, patting Kris's shoulder desperately.
"I told you not to take it seriously," Kris said, letting the maknae go and standing, chugging the rest of his drink. He observed everyone and allowed a smirk
"I win," he said smugly. He walked over to Suho and kissed his cheek before walking to their shared bedroom. Suho blinked and laughed a bit, covering his mouth in embarrassment.
"G-Goodnight guys," he mumbled, standing and walking off. "Clean up after yourselves please!"
Tao stood, rubbing his arm. Kai walked over and tried slinging an arm around his shoulders, but Baekhyun pushed him away. Baekhyun turned to the maknae and took his hands.
"Come on dear, you'll sleep with me tonight," Baekhyun said reassuringly, throwing Kai a death stare as he led Tao away.
Everyone kind of shrugged at each other and left. Sehun shuffled his feet and got to work cleaning up, getting all the dishes. He suddenly tripped over a can and fell, the plate shattering and cutting his hand. He gasped, clutching it as it bled.
"Maknae, are you OK?"
Sehun looked up to see a worried Luhan. Kneeling next to him, he took Sehun's hand and observed it with a frown.
"The artery wasn't cut," he said in relief. He brought Sehun into the kitchen and took care of his hand, then sat him down and cleaned the mess himself. Sehun watched Luhan's blank expression as he cleaned everything and even washed the dishes. Sehun stood to dry and put them away, and Luhan smiled.
"You just have to move, huh?"
Sehun nodded, giggling slightly. Luhan laughed too, allowing a slight grin. When they were done Luhan heated up some water to make tea and sat Sehun down.
"Stay," he said. Sehun nodded and gave maknae eyes. Luhan shook his head and laughed again. He went back into the kitchen, coming back with tea and cookies. They sat with each other, not saying anything for a while.
"You know, I see why the fans ship us."
Sehun looked up, surprised. Luhan was spinning a cookie around, obviously not eating it- he was on a strict diet.
"You're simply adorable- though I don't get why they don't ship you to someone better, like Chanyeol or Tao." He allowed a smirk. "You know, someone your height."
Sehun blushed and sipped some tea. "I-I mean, i-if I was a fan..."
Luhan raised an eyebrow, making Sehun blush harder.
"... I-I would ship us... too..." he rubbed his eyebrow, trying to hide his absolutely red face. Now he knew how Tao felt like.
He heard Luhan stand up but looked down at his tea. A hand gently brought his chin up and next thing he knew, Luhan's lips were against his in the softest, most beautiful first kiss.
"You're so beautiful," Luhan murmured, caressing his head. "Oh my god, I'm so lucky to have met you."
Sehun pulled him closer, causing Luhan to fall into his lap. They kissed again, this time Sehun licking Luhan's lips.
"Sehun," Luhan sighed, fingers tangling in his rainbow hair. "Don't make me lose my temper."
Sehun whimpered slightly, seeking out his lips hungrily. (A/N that's it, there's no going back now- PREPARE YOURSELVES)
Luhan felt himself becoming hot very quickly, so without breaking the kiss he unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt. Sehun clutched the shirt tightly, pulling it off eagerly. Luhan tried to unbutton Sehun's shirt, but got impatient and ripped it open. His hands travelled across the maknae's chest, caressing the soft skin.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! LUHAN!"
Luhan and Sehun jumped in surprise, letting go of each other's lips. Luhan was yanked away by a pissed Suho.
"NOT MY BABY! HE'S NOT READY FOR YOUR DIRTY DI-"
"Mom!" Sehun yelled, face completely red. Suho shook Luhan as a warning before grabbing Sehun's hand and dragging him off.
"Goodnight!" Sehun called.
"Goodnight!" Luhan growled back. Suho rolled his eyes and shoved Sehun into his room.
"I'll sleep in the armchair tonight," Suho sighed. Sehun hugged his leader tightly, whining.
"What?" Suho sighed. Sehun whined again, whimpering.
"Do you want me to sleep with you?" Suho said, confused. Sehun nuzzled his neck and Suho rolled his eyes, though he couldn't hide a smile.
"Fine."
As Sehun crawled into bed, he heard a groan.
"Suho, what-"
"Sh, Kris, it's OK- Sehun's just sleeping with us tonight."
"What- ugh, whatever. Fine."
Sehun cuddled up to Kris, and Kris hugged him tightly. Suho lay down on Kris's other side, curling into a ball. Kris caressed Suho's hair, sighing contently.
"You're not angry?" Kris mumbled, trailing his fingers to Suho's cheek.
"Why would I be?"
"I mean, Tao-"
"My goodness Kris, whatever!"
"Wait, really?"
"As if you really want to stay like this."
"Stay like this? What do you mean?"
"Kris, if you want to give up on the mom and dad idea, that's totally fine."
"No no, it's just-" he groaned and kissed Suho's lips, sighing. "Dammit, I love you so much. I love you all so much it's stupid."
Suho giggled, tapping his nose. "How about we continue in the morning? I'm too tired to talk."
Kris laughed quietly, kissing his lips again. "Anything for you, baby."
"Can you guys stop making out?" Sehun huffed, smacking Kris's face. Kris moaned, but Suho simply laughed and snuggled up to him, quickly falling asleep.
This isn't worth it, Kris thought as he passed out. Why do I even bother?
But next morning, Kris got his answer. He woke up to Sehun, Tao and Suho all cuddling up to him. He walked into the kitchen to find Kyungsoo, Chen and Xiumin cooking breakfast. Chanyeol, Kai, and Luhan were playing Mario Kart in the living room while Lay and Baekhyun cuddled on the couch together, watching the video game play out on screen. Kris had so many important people in his life, and these eleven were probably the most important. They needed him, and as cheesy as it sounds, he needed them too.
So he'd bother a bit longer.
I can't believe I published this OMG