Chapter 14
At the end of September we were still on the set of Long Winter, shooting scene after scene. James loved every bit of it: the director, his costars, the script, and even the set.
I, on the other hand, was feeling a bit more lethargic. It had been months since I was on the scene of a film and the whole ambiance of it brought me back to a different time. Everywhere I turned there was another reminder of Jon, another reminder of a chapter of my life that was over.
I went looking for Sammie Cordova, Tony’s wife, because the day’s shooting was over and we were all heading out. While wandering, I saw posters of movies Jon was in. Those were bad enough until I saw the classic Scream poster. To some it may just be a reminder of a horror filmed that mocked the genre while still playing into it. To me, it screamed JON.
As usual, I forgot all about where I was and became consumed in the past as if reliving it. It was Monday Movie Night. We had skipped out on the last two because filming had been so hectic, but Jon insisted that he would work all Tuesday exhausted if he had to because we were not skipping another one. We’d been doing it for months; each week whoever’s turn it was got to pick a movie the other hadn’t seen and might ‘enjoy’.
It hadn’t taken long for Jon to realize that his “big bad arse-kicking assistant” –as he had called me- was terrified of horror films. Much to my displeasure, he had chosen scary movies the last three times it had been his turn, which is another reason I had been insistent on us skipping again, but to no avail.
I was lying on my stomach on Jon’s huge bed in front of the television, in the bedroom of his hotel suite while he popped in an unknown dvd.
“Why exactly do we have to watch it in here? What’s wrong with the living room?” I asked, curious about his choice and slightly uncomfortable after what Trudy had asked. Was this what normal friends did?
“Better atmosphere for the film.”
“What is it, a porno? What does that even mean?” I questioned.
He just laughed at my questions, flipped off the light switch, and walked back towards the bed.
“Oh no,” I mumbled, knowing he had once again decided to torture me. He always insisted the lights be out for horror films.
He looked at me with a smug smile, winked, and jumped on the bed, sitting with his back agains the headboard.
“It’s ‘Scream’. Can’t believe you’ve never seen it,” he announced, still smiling.
I glared at him over my shoulder, then turned to face front just as the film started.
About three minutes in, I had moved to sit next to Jon and thrown the comforter over me to give myself a sense of safety. Covers always equaled safety.
"Will you marry me, Holly?" he whispered at once the scary scene in the beginning ended with the girl being murdered.
"Love to, but alas no time with how tired I'll be from all the night terrors that will be throwing off my sleeping pattern for years to come thanks to these stupid movie nights!" I shouted in reply.
He merely laughed as always, but after that -to Jon’s credit- he didn’t laugh at me when I jumped and screamed, but that was probably because my jumps and screams made him jump and scream- which I did find pretty funny when I wasn’t terrified.
Before long he noticed my hands over my eyes. He reached over and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into his side so I could bury my face in his chest and peak when the sound affects announced the creepy scenes were over. We stayed like that through the film, until I fell asleep.
When I woke I was incredibly cozy and warm. I burrowed my face into the hard pillow. Then I realized the pillow was breathing. I opened my eyes and once they adjusted to the pitch black of the room I saw that I was lying on a sleeping Jon who must have turned out the lights after the film ended.
Glancing at the clock I could see it was only one a.m. so I tried to lift myself up to pull away, but the arm he had around me tightened. I stilled for a moment and then tried again. This time he woke slightly and looked me.
“Stop moving and go back to sleep. I’ll keep you safe from the serial killers,” and with that rolled so he was half on his back, half on his side and pulled me tighter against him, falling back asleep.
After that all I could think about was serial killers lurking in the dark so I decided to stay where I felt safe, in Jon’s warm arms. I pulled the comforter up around my shoulders and nuzzled into his neck. Just as I felt I was going to doze off, his other arm moved from his side and onto my hip.
I realized that our bare legs were intertwined. He must have taken off his pants and come back to bed to sleep in his boxers as he usually did. I wasn’t sure if he was aware that I was still awake or not because he slid his hand from my hip up onto the smooth skin of my waist where my tank top had ridden up and left me exposed. He then slid his hand to my lower back and then caressed it softly, drawing unknown patterns. His hands were warm, but they left a trail of goose bumps and gave me chills.
My arm had been lying awkwardly at my side, but since he was openly touching me I thought it would be okay if I got more comfortable. I moved it so it rested on his chest and sighed in contentment, falling back into a deep sleep.
Shaking the feeling of Jon’s arms around me as they had been so long ago, I walked over to James’ trailer where he would be getting ready to leave for the day, giving up entirely on finding Tony's m.i.a. wife. I barged in without knocking to find James sitting on the couch next to none other than the missing Sammie. She had her arms around his neck and in his hair while his hands were on her wrists. Their faces pulled away from eachother and it looked like they had been kissing when I burst in. A flash of jealousy surged through me, but as quickly as it came I ignored it.
The looks of shock on their faces no doubt mirrored my own. Did everyone in Hollywood cheat?
James shoved Sammie off of him and stood up, “Holly! This isn’t what it looks like!”
At the same time Sammie shouted, “Do you mind?”
I crossed my arms trying to fight back the anger. How could they do that to Tony? James and Tony were best friends and this was wrong; lying and banging his wife behind his back! My whole image of James crumbled. I couldn’t say I was surprised by Sammie’s behavior; I’d seen her hit on men before when Tony wasn’t around, but still, his best friend and client?
“I don’t care what it looks like and yes, I do mind. Tony’s waiting at the car. If you don’t get out there soon, he’ll come looking for you.” It was all I could do to stay calm and not scream at the two of them.
Sammie glared at me before grabbing her Louis Vuitton purse off the table and pushing her way past me through the door. As soon as she was out, I followed so I didn’t have to be alone with him.
I walked briskly towards where our driver would be waiting, mad that I would have to ride in a car with him for any length of time; it would not be good for his health.
He got in behind me and as soon as the door closed he started, “Holls-”
“Don’t!” I yelled, clearly seething.
“Holls, please,” he leaned and touched my arm.
I ripped it away from him disgusted. “He’s your best friend! How could you do that?” I finally exploded.
“I didn’t do anything, I swear to you. She attacked me! I would never in a million years do that to Tony!” he yelled back.
I stared at his pleading eyes for as long as I could bear them before looking out the window.
“You’re telling me you didn’t kiss her?” I asked, eyes still on the scenery outside the window.
“No, of course not. You know me Holls, you know I would never do that,” came his earnest reply.
Did I really know him, though?
“So you aren’t attracted to her?” I finally looked over at him, my head tilted slightly as I tried to decide if I could really believe him.
He laughed hard at that question before answering, “Not at all. I don’t even like blondes and I prefer a girl with real boobs personally. Also, not married is a must.”
I broke a small smile, relieved that he wasn’t interested in Sammie.
“I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. You’re my boss and I should have your back no matter what, anyway so I’m sorry James.”
He laughed again, even louder this time, “Holly, I am not, nor will I ever be your boss. We’re partners in this. It’s only been a little over four months and already I can’t figure out how I did anything without you...” he said before hesitating. “And what I love about you is your honesty. If you allowed me to do something you thought was wrong without saying something, you wouldn’t be you. And you, well… you’re the best Holls.”
We smiled at each other before I finally thanked him. I still felt guilty for assuming the worst before giving him a chance, but it was nice to hear how important I was in his life… his work life I reminded myself.
When we arrived at James’ place we hopped out. I walked over to my bike, ready to hop on and head to the Redbury so I could shower and go to sleep when he stopped me. I looked up, wondering what it was he needed.
He pulled me into a big hug for which I wasn’t prepared. It was our first hug; though I acted like myself around him, I made sure there was as little physical contact as possible, just in case. But, before I knew it, I was hugging him back; I couldn’t not, being in his arms just felt right. As the thought came into my head, an image of Jon holding me after watching 'Scream' came into my mind and I pulled back, not wanting to make the same mistake again.
“I have a surprise for you,” his voice was playful and excited, making me curious.
“What is it?” I asked skeptically.
“I’ll show you.”
He opened the front door and I followed him through the house into the back yard.
“Okay, what is it James?” I asked again, the anticipation making me anxious.
He smiled at me and nodded to the guest house. I looked up at him, confused. He grabbed my hand and dragged me to the front door of the guest house before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a key. He placed it in the palm of the hand he’d been using to drag me. I simply stared at the key then back at him, noticing yet again the glistening in his pale eyes.
“Open it.”
I did as he asked and he pushed me in, trailing behind.
It looked great inside, like it had all been remodeled: granite counter tops, natural stone aggregate flooring, dark oak cabinets, new appliances, and from what I could see of the living room, kitchen and dining room, it was also entirely furnished.
“It’s beautiful in here. What’s this surprise, though?”
“For someone so intelligent, you’re awfully dense Holls. This is your surprise. I had a decorator come in during the days we’ve been filming to redo it. I’d like it if you moved in. I know you’ve been staying at the hotel and I figured you needed a real place and it’s close to work and you don’t have to pay me or anything. It would make things way easier and I’d love to have you close by. I worry about you being at that place all alone. And if you decide to buy a house later you can, but you’ll always have this place to stay at too if you work late. And I mean if you don't like something we can change it.” He was rambling and I was letting him as I tried to decide how I felt about the whole thing.
It was a sweet gesture, one he went to a lot of effort for. And I greatly appreciated it. It would be nice to have my own space and as busy as things had gotten, it’d be great to be able to just sleep right here. This would make work easier and I would feel safer in the house on the back of his huge gated lot.
At the same time it was familiar. I had lived with Jon too, though in the room next to him, not in a guest house. Not really the same, I told myself.
I debated on if this was leading me down the same road, but decided that this was completely different. James was a different person and I had become a different person too.
So I told him I loved it and that is how I ended up living in his guest house.
I knew that as long as I never kissed James and he never kissed me, we’d be fine. And I swore to myself that we would not kiss, ever.
Who'd of thought that only one week later, I would break that very promise.