I got a message from Jason while in school, saying he wanted to meet after school, it was the day before Valentine's Day. Did he have a surprise for me? I didn't know what it was going to be, and I didn't know what to expect. I told Bree about it after leaving to our third period classes. She seemed really excited about it and told me that I needed to go, and I would regret it if I didn't. I was a little excited, but I didn't care too much about it. I responded to the message just after our talk and told him that I would be there, it wasn't like it was a big deal or anything. It would just be a quick hi on my walk home from school. I was walking home with Shelly, Amilie, and Bree that day so nothing big would happen. I got to my third period class and we didn't have much to do so the teacher let us use it as a free period. I didn't mind it at all, I loved when we didn't have anything to do. I decided that since Jason was possibly going to give me a surprise, I should get him something as well. I figured it was too late to go out and buy something, so I grabbed a green three feet piece of construction paper from the back of the class and a couple colorful markers. I made him a Valentine's Day card and drew little soccer balls all over it. I thought it was amazing, I even got a little bit of glitter in the design and wrote a cute line about soccer on the inside. I spent the whole period working on it, trying to make it perfect; hopefully to match the surprise he would be giving me. I lugged that thing around with me for the rest of the day. It was way too big to fit inside my locker and I did not want to fold it, then it would just look tacky and seem like no thought was put into it. I worked too hard on it to let it look like a piece of shit project. I did get questioned on it a lot throughout the day, who was it for? What was I doing with it? Just the usual. Shellie and Amilie seemed excited about it when we met afterschool.
At the beginning of the year we were as thick as thieves, not that softball and Bree were consuming most of my time, I didn't see or speak to them much, unless it was first thing in the morning, lunch, and walks home. Even then they were walking home mostly by themselves since I had practices and games after school most days. I know they felt neglected, I could see it in their faces when I would speak about Bree. Not everything I wish I could tell them about her, but just that I would be hanging with her or such and such. They were still my bestes friends, I just needed to talk with them more than I had been. Our walks home was the best time we had together, we made so much jokes and were just goofy individuals that egged on each other. The walk home was usually an hour-long event, that's why we took the bus to school. We could take the bus home as well but, where was the fun in that. We left the school grounds and took the path that would lead us past Jason's house. With the card in hand and my friends teasing me about what I would do when I saw him again, it was going to be an eventful day for sure. Bree was also chiming in on the teasing which I thought was very weird, I would have thought she would be against the whole thing and plead with me not to go through with it, I guess she was ok with it.
The closer we came to arrive there, the more my heart was pounding. I was in love with this guy or cared about him a lot. I didn't know at this point. With Bree, that was love. With Jason, it never seemed to be equal or come close to how I felt. We were about 15 minutes out, so I messaged him to meet me at the end of the block, so we didn't have to deviate from our route home. My heart started to beat faster and faster the more I realized what I was doing.
"Are you going to kiss him?" I heard a voice say behind me
"I don't know, Shelly. You're just going to have to see, aren't you?"
"Yea, Shelly" Amilie said
"I can't wait, you know I love drama. Like, isn't this the first time you're seeing him since you guys broke up?"
"Yea, he's been here for a few weeks, but I just haven't had time to see him. Plus, we were broken up, so it didn't matter"
"Dude, I heard he was talking to some girl from school."
"Are you serious?" I wiped back to look at Amilie
"Yea, I heard that from this chick in my math class. I guess she's friends with her or something, I'm not too sure. I honestly don't even know if it's true or not."
"Hmm, well...I guess it doesn't matter. We're not together, right."
"I guess, but why is he trying to see you, knowing he's been talking to some hoe."
"I don't know, Shelly. And honestly, I don't care what he does. We're not together and...yea."
"Ok, Aless" said Shelly
"Well, we have two more blocks and were there" Said Bree.
"Haha, thanks for the reminder, Bree."
"Well...haha" I got a text and I looked down to my phone
"He said he's walking from his house now, we should see him in a few." We got to the edge of the corner where he would be walking up and stood there for a minute until we saw him walking from a distance. My heart was now pounding a million miles a minute. Why was I so nervous, this guy didn't mean as much to me as Bree did, but I was feeling this way, it was weird. I thought all my feelings were gone for him. I guess I didn't know myself as much as I thought I did.
"Hey Aless"
"Hey, Jason" I walked over to him, leaving my friends in a huddle behind me. I gave him a hug and we awkwardly talked for a minute. I presented him with the card I made, and he smiled at how cheesy it was. I smiled too because I just then noticed how right he was, this was a really cheesy gift. I noticed that he didn't have anything on him and didn't hand anything back to me after I gave him the card. What?? I did all that work for nothing, uuhh.
"So, what are you guys doing?"
"You know, just headed home. I didn't have practice today, so you're lucky I came by."
"Yes, I am very lucky." He smiles at my statement. We went back and forth for a bit, catching up just a little then it was time to head back on the journey home. He didn't really want to see me for any particular reason. I guess it was just to do it. I was kind of disappointed but, I got over it pretty quickly.
"Alright, well, it was nice seeing you again. I hope you have fun back at college."
"Thanks, I'll talk to you later then." He grabbed my waste then pulled me in for a kiss, and I let him. It got so intense that he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his broad frame, and my arms around his neck. He picked me up with ease and I was all for it. I could hear as the girls cheered on behind me, and I couldn't help but wonder what this may have been doing to Bree. Our moment of passion was over, he put me down, smiled and headed back home after waving bye to the girls. I turned around to look at them but searched for Bree's face first. She didn't seem happy, but she didn't seem upset either. I couldn't get a read on her and I felt ashamed. Bree's street was just the block up, so we walked there and as the girls moved on I talked with her for a bit.
"See, I knew you were going to kiss him. Even if you said you weren't." with a small smile on her face
"I know"
"You still like him but its ok. Just message me when you get home, ok?"
"Sounds good" I gave her a hug and she went on her way. I ran to catch up with Amilie and Shelly and we walked side by side until Amilie's house came up and she was off, then Shelly's house and finally mine. I lived the furthest away, but Shelly and I lived on the same block, just a stretch apart. I opened the door to my house, with no one home without a surprise, and went to my room to lounge for a while. Bree wouldn't be online for a while because of homework, and her parents would have dinner soon after she was done with homework and wouldn't allow her to eat while at the computer. I usually took a nap after getting home from school, only because there was nothing to do when I got home, and we spent so many hours up talking when we were supposed to be asleep. Today was no different, I fell asleep watching some rerun on T.V as usual and woke up to the sounds my dad coming home. He knew I was most likely asleep, so he would bang on my door as he walked past to his bedroom.
"Hey, Aless. I'm home, you can wake up now."
"Uhhhrrrrhhhhaaa go away!" I grumbled at him to stop all the noise he was causing. I flipped over n my back then turned to look at the time. It was the perfect time to hop on my computer and talk with Bree. I grabbed my phone and headed out of my room. I looked down at my phone and noticed I had a missed call from Jason. He never calls me, oh well. It couldn't have been important. I settled in at the computer then logged into my social media pages to check for any updates, then logged into messenger and waited for Bree to go green. As is she smelt my presence, a bubble popped up with her user name at the top and my face lite up.
"Hey"
"Hey, Babe"
"What have you been doing?"
"I just woke up from a nap, well forcibly anyways."
"Oh, so you weren't talking to your boo?"
"Who's my boo?"
"Jason"
"Why would I be talking to Jason?"
"Well that kiss kinda makes it hard."
"Oh, that. That wasn't anything."
"It wasn't? it didn't look that way from where I was standing. Anyways, that's none of my business if you two are back together."
"What? Why would we be back together?"
"Aless, I saw you two. You guys look like you should be together, I think you should be together, I know you still love him."
"Ok, time out! What is going on here??? Did I miss something?
"What are you talking about?"
"You, like since when is it that your on team Jason all of a sudden? And why on earth would you think that after all he put me through I would want to be with him? And why are you of all people saying this?"
"Well its true, I saw the way you too looked at each other and the way you kissed him."
"Yea, I kissed him back, that was it. That doesn't mean were going to be together. I told you how I felt about him, and I'm guessing you've forgotten how I feel about you."
"No, I didn't forget how you feel about, I'm just saying you too should get back together."
"Are we really going to do this?"
"Do what?"
"This whole back and forth things, like why are we doing this?"
"I don't know Aless, I guess it's hard for me to watch you kiss him like that, and talk about him the way you do, then tell me you love me. Like how am I supposed to feel?"
"I didn't know it was bothering you, you never said anything. This whole time I thought he were trying to push me away, to him"
"No, I was just saying all of that because I thought it was what you wanted, I hated it. I don't want to see you with him."
"Ok, I'm sorry. I just didn't know how you felt because it made it seem like you were ok with it all. I won't talk about him anymore, and I won't see him again. But you have to be open with me. No more hiding behind your feelings. If you don't want me to kiss him, then dammit tell me. We may not be together but that doesn't mean I want to hurt you."
"I just don't want you to stop you from being happy."
"Babe, you make me happy. If you don't want me to just say it. I won't do it and its not a problem. Ok? Just do it for me."
"Ok, I'm sorry. I just didn't want to pull away from me for not wanting you to do something you wanted."
"It's ok, and it's not something I wanted. You already know what I want, and it's not him."
"Ok, I love you."
"I love you too, Sweetheart."
"Anyhoo, what's up? Lol"