- You know, it's very hard to concentrate on my job when someone is staring at me.
Lucifer doesn't bat an eye and keep his feline gaze fixed on me. Heaving a resigned sigh, I put the account book down on the table, cursing out loud when I realize that the quill has left a stain of ink on the parchment. I stand up and pour myself a glass of sweet wine while my cat follows my movements; he's getting on my nerves. I drink my wine in one gulp while looking through the rear window of my office spotting Iselen getting rid of the weeds in her garden. The memory of the "breakfast" she offered me a few hours ago brings a smile to my face... this little human never fails to surprise me. After all these centuries trying to find someone interesting now I have the most enchanting girl of them all.
When I turn around I see Lucifer staring at me in the same position, like he's made of stone, and I can't help rolling my eyes hard. That's enough! I scowl at him and my fury covers in ice the window glass behind me.
- I apologized to her and we worked things out. Maybe I went a little overboard but I had to make her understand the crazy thing she...
A feline snort cuts off my speech. Fucking cat! I flop down on my armchair ungracefully and cross my arms looking at him exasperated, my boot heel tapping on the floor nervously while his green eyes force me to search my own conscience. And I hate it because I've found out that, after all these centuries doing my will not giving a damn for what was wrong or what was right, after using and abusing others in my search for pleasure and knowledge, turns out that yes, I have a conscience after all. I thought that I had lost it long time ago but no, I'm aware that I've been mean to Iselen and I regret it. I'm so sorry... It hurts so much inside, I didn't remember that feeling bad for other people hurt so much and, in addition to this, I'm scared as hell because it's time for me to admit that I have feelings for her beyond the physical attraction.
- Damnit, Lucifer! What's wrong with me? How could I do that to her?
I cover my face with my hands, then running my fingers through my hair feeling more tired than I've never felt before during the past years. Finally, my cat feels pity for me and jumps on my lap purring, trying to comfort me. I pet him lost in my thoughts and closing my eyes, thinking about the events of the past few days and how easy it was for her to forgive me. Actually, she's forgiven me because she's not fully aware of what I did to her. If she knew... I'd be screwed.
After leaving Iselen tied up in our bedroom to make sure that she was going to stay where I wanted, I had to go out to deal with the corpse and, at the same time, I needed time to control my fury. I was aware that the emotional state of anger I was in could make me lose control and even kill her unintentionally. I went back to the alley and found the body under the wooden boxes; I searched the pockets just in case there was something useful although I already knew who the guy was. I'd recognized him immediately and the idea of having Kyte breathing down my neck disturbed me knowing that she wouldn't go after me but after my girl. My blood boiled with fury through my veins once again thinking of how she'd disobeyed me and how close to death she'd been. Damn stupid girl, why she can't do as I tell her?
I buried the corpse in a deep hole in the alley ground and tried to get rid of the magical energy remains floating in the air, I wanted to throw off the track anyone who was looking for us and who was able to look beyond the obvious. He most likely didn't have time to warn my enemy of my presence in this city but I couldn't be sure so I'd need to remain extremely vigilant from now on. I came back home making sure that all the minds of the humans on my way were clean and they had absolutely no recollection of me or the incident from hours before. I took several deep breaths before going upstairs, trying to calm down a little in order to have a rational conversation with Iselen and explain her that she'd made a huge mistake and messed things up. I kept my familiar routine before going to bed, following the same steps in an attempt to cool down a bit.
But it didn't help at all: the moment I laid my eyes on her naked body all my rage came back. How did she dare to disobey me? Did she know how exhausting the waste of magical energy was to fix this mess? Now I'd need to drink early... an evil idea crossed my mind and immediately, without thinking about it, I did it blinded by the fury and disappointment. The memory makes me squirm uncomfortably on my armchair due to embarrassment. I drank from her violently, without her permission and without softening the effect of my fangs piercing her flesh. I forced myself upon her, as simple as that. In my world, what I did is the closest thing to a rape. I forced her to give her vein and I took what I wanted without worrying about what she was feeling. That's why Lucifer is looking at me full of reproach and what's bothering my conscience.
I hurt her. Without any kind of magical seduction clouding her mind to soften the effect of my bite I know she was in a lot of pain and the worst thing is that, at that moment, I didn't care about her feelings or her tears. If it wasn't for the annoying noise of her teeth chattering, I'd left her on that chair all night long. I didn't care about dragging her from one room to another by her leash like a disobedient puppy and I enjoyed seeing her humiliated eating her food from the floor and seeing how her knees bruised as the hours passed. I don't regret that, she needed to understand that my orders must be obeyed and I had to punish her for her infraction. This would be a lesson she could never forget, that's for sure.
But later on the evening I started to feel unease and Lucifer wasn't helping at all with his judgemental looks and his angry attitude against me. I could remember the taste of Iselen's fear in her blood, the high levels of adrenaline that hadn't allowed me to sleep for hours, but without the endorphins of an orgasm the taste of the blood is kind of metallic, unpalatable for my taste. I know that some vampires enjoy it but I've never liked that burn in my throat: I've always preferred sweeter wines. When it was time to go to bed I decided that the punishment should end immediately; I needed to talk to her and maybe it was also time for me to explain her what the reasons behind my orders were and not take her obedience for granted. I was relieved when I felt her again in my arms submissive and trusting, after promising me that this time she'd behave properly. She had learnt her lesson and I wouldn't need to hurt her again.
However, I was still unsure so I almost jumped out of my skin next morning when I came out of the bathroom and she wasn't in my bed. I checked immediately her trunks and clothes fearing that she'd had run away from me. I wouldn't allow her to do that easily, but I didn't want to track her down again and keep her tied up or locked in my room every day. When I heard her downstairs in the kitchen, the relief made me feel dizzy and I had to hold the handrail for balance. It was a surprise for me that she decided to make me breakfast but, when she took off her dressing gown and started playing with the strawberries, I could hardly believe it. That's why it took me a long minute to react finally despite having her naked in front of me, so beautiful; I thought that she wouldn't let me touch her for a while and suddenly there she was, offering her body to me without any fear.
I can't believe how easy it was for her to forgive me and I know she's done it because she isn't fully aware of the implications of my actions. That's why Lucifer isn't happy with me: I didn't tell her that, instead of punish her for disobedience, what I did was rape her. I don't want to explain that to her, she'd be angry with me and probably would like to run away. We're fine together now, we've had lunch chatting and laughing as usual and she's let me kiss her and hug her before she went to the garden. I don't want to lose her, those moments of intimacy with her are precious. I hold my cat in my hands and I look at him right into his eyes.
- Please, let it go. I promise you that I'll never hurt her again like that. I'll make it up to her, I'll be good to her and make her happy. I'm going to try to control my temper from now on, okay? Please Lucifer, it's been centuries since I don't feel love for anyone and I don't want to mess it up. I don't want to lose her.
My cat meows accepting my apologies with his green eyes wide open in surprise. He'd never heard me confessing my feelings for anyone before and this seems to make him happy. Lucifer has always feared that I could become a cold-hearted monster and, with my incredible power, I could be dangerous for humanity. To be honest, the idea made me nervous too but fortunately things have changed. Now I have Iselen by my side and I want to keep her there for long time. I frown, thoughtfully... I should begin to discuss with her tactfully the issue of her conversion if I want her to live with me forever.
I go downstairs thinking about it and how I should talk to her. I like the idea of keeping her forever, I feel that she's the best partner for me. After all these centuries I'd lost all hope of finding her and now I realize that she's been near me all this time. "I should try to be less stubborn," I think smiling. Of course, we're in no hurry; instead of talking to her directly I could leave little hints here and there in our conversations. I don't want her to feel pressured to make a decision, it's essential that she accepts my gift freely in order to make the conversion easy and pain-free. By the way, where is she? Is she still in the garden? It's getting late.
I get out the back door expecting to find Iselen picking up flowers or getting rid of the weeds but she's nowhere to be seen. I walk towards the little shed to check out if she's brushing Deva but the mare is alone, eating calmly her barley. Is she in the kitchen maybe? I turn around but I can't see her through the window... besides, if she'd entered in the house my magical defences would have warned me. A noise grabs my attention: the door that leads to the back alley is open and hits the wall of stone. Fuck! Did she do it again? If nothing has set my magical alarms off it's because someone's opened the door from the inside and she's the only one that could do something like that.
Wrath boils in my veins once again after finding out that Iselen has disobeyed me. The climbing jasmine attached to the wall starts to die under the ice that my negative energy produces, my eyes are fixed on the open door and my mind is imagining the punishment when I finally get my hands on her. It won't be fun and she won't like it. This time she's gone too far.
I'm about to run out the backyard to find her when Lucifer jumps on my shoulders, nocking me off balance because of the surprise and forcing me to fall on my knees. Before I can yell what the hell is he doing I hear him hissing in my ear at the same time that my confused mind gets clear. "What's that?" Since I'm on my hands and knees, the doorstep it's right in front of my nose and there's something weird... I think is some kind of magical residue... I open my mind and focus totally on the door till I'm able to see it: a little whirlwind of grey energy... so subtle that I could have missed it easily.
"Great Ruby, only a few minutes ago you were thinking about changing your attitude and be nice with Iselen and now, at the slightest provocation, you're ready to distrust her and you get wild." Damn, I really have an anger-management problem; I need to control it if I want this relationship to work. I know deep inside that she'd never disobey me again, above all after talking to her about the dangers to which she's exposed: she promised me that she wasn't going anywhere without me and she's a woman of her word. I remain still examining the magical residue while Lucifer is still on my shoulder, his long whiskers tickling me on my cheek and his claws piercing my flesh trough my shirt, I guess he'd be able to scratch me if I dare to go berserk again. I turn my head smiling:
- I'm fine, okay? I'm sane so get your claws off me. I know that she definitely didn't go willingly, someone opened that door and took her. Since my magical alarms didn't warn me only a high level sorcerer could have done it. We both know the perfect candidate. Now I'm worry about other thing.
Lucifer jumps to the ground in front of my head and immediately turns into his panther form so I have to kneel down to look at him into his eyes.
- Kyte has been very careful erasing her tracks so there're only two options: maybe her purpose was to fool me making me think Iselen has run away, forcing me to go out that door blinded by the anger and falling into whatever trap she's set... or she really didn't want me to know that she's taken my girl. In the first situation, she knows that it's very difficult to trick me, I can survive to whatever trap she's in mind and probably she's left a trail that leads to her hideout: she's using Iselen as bait to force me to track her. In the second situation, is she has erased all her magical traces, she doesn't want me to find my girl and her aim is to make me go crazy with worry; Iselen would be a burden to her right now and she's probably already dead.
I stand up while my cat is staring at me worried. I take a deep breath building a protective shield around me and then I walk out the door with determination. A roaring fire comes towards me as I step out the backyard. Seriously? Is that the best she can do? With a simple wave of my hand I make the fire disappear, the heat hasn't even made my clothes smoke. Swallowing hard I look to my left towards the exit of the alley. There they're: little golden coloured spots in the places that Iselen has touched with her hand and body. I hold back tears of relief, there's a trail and that means my girl is still alive to be used as bait. I smile at Lucifer while nodding and he snorts of relief too.
All right, it's time to devise a plan. I go into the house again to change my clothes while my mind is calculating my possibilities. Kyte thinks in a similar way l do it, we don't leave anything to chance. I need to find out where she's keeping Iselen but if I follow the trail that she's left me she'll see me coming since I'm sure she has someone watching it. I have no intention of catching her off guard but confronting her directly, I've learnt some new tricks these past years that will surprise my enemy despite the fact that she's a very powerful sorceress. But at the same time I don't want her minions announcing my arrival with tremendous fanfare; in the magic world appearances are everything, the perception that other people have of your power is as important as the real power you have: if I appear out of nowhere and she doesn't know how I did it I'll have established at the outset that she can't play with me and she must be very careful since I'm powerful, I won't like it if my companion is abused.
While I think of possible hidden places in the area I change my clothes, I need darker and warmer garments since I don't know for how long I'm going to be searching. Where is my black jacket? There it is, amongst the clothes that Iselen has washed and ironed, along with her favourite riding breeches, the ones she was wearing the day that we talked for the first time. I smile while I touch them tenderly remembering how I almost ripped them that day. Remembering... of course! The tracking spell I used to mark her skin that night. It's been weeks since that night and probably the spell has lost a bit of power but if they keep her close I'll be able to feel it.
- Here I go Kyte, we're ending this ridiculous competition right now.