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I wait for Amelia to arrive at my house, I scramble up from my bed and just brush my hair so I'm some what presentable.
I'm not a hundred percent sure what I'm gonna say to Amelia, but I know I have to have this conversation with her. I'm not gonna jump straight into a relationship with Issac as soon as this is over, I want to take it slow with him.
Sharing my life with someone is going to be hard for me to adapt to, I have a lot to work on, but he says he wants to help me through this journey so I should let him instead of pushing him away.
"Sweetie?" Mom knocks lightly on the door, "Amelia is here to see you" She opens the door to let her in. She looks nervous as she slowly comes into my room.
Mom disappears leaving me and Amelia in a silence, "You can sit down if you like" I smile. She nods and sits at the end of my double bed.
"Look, I'm sorry for springing things on you when I did, I just had to tell you" She blurts, "I know you like Issac and I know he feels the same back, but I had to get it off my chest. He told me what you're going through and I'm here for you and support you whatever happens" She reaches over and holds my hand.
I smile "Amelia I think you're amazing, and I think you know what I'm going to say but you're my best friend, I know we haven't been at college that long, but you were the first person to make me feel welcome. I just don't feel for you like that, I'm sorry, but you'll find someone" I squeeze her hand.
She doesn't look upset, I think she already knew what I was going to say. She has her hair pinned back and a soft smile on her lips, she really is beautiful, a natural kind of beautiful.
"I know and it's okay, I want us to stay friends. I never wanted to loose you as a friend but I couldn't keep my feelings in. Thank you for being honest" She smiles.
This is a very sweet moment, in a way I feel closer to her and it's definitely made me feel better, "Are you okay though?" She frowns, stroking the back of my hand.
"Yeah, college is this week and I really don't want to go" I hate to even think about it, the only thing egging me to go is art.
"You'll be okay, I'll be there" She smiles, "I'm always here if you need me, come chat to me whenever you want" She reaches over and hugs me.
I smile and hug her back, "Thank you" She gives me a last squeeze before leaning back, "Did you talk to Issac?" I raise my eyebrows.
"Yeah" She nods, knowing what I'm referring to. "I've been battling with my sexuality a lot over the years, I knew I liked girls but I'd never been with one or fell for one until I met you, then I knew" She shrugs, I'm glad she's opening up to me.
"Do you like boys?" I ask, "No, I've never really been attracted to boys but I tried to force myself to like them because I was scared people would turn on me if I came out as gay, but it didn't work, I can be friends with males but when It came to the physical stuff, I did anything I could to avoid it" she pulls a lopsided smile.
"We'd never turn against you! We love you and want to see you happy" I feel terrible that she thought we'd all turn against her. This was a big thing for her I'm glad she's coming out.
"I know that now, you've all been so supportive. Thank you" her lopsided smile turns into a bright one, "Anyways! Let's get you dressed, you need to get out" She stands up from my bed, I feel myself recoil into panic, "No no I'm okay" I nod.
"Darc c'mon, please? Issac misses you, you can come to our house, hang out for a bit" She suggests.
For some reason the thought of leaving the house scares me, I don't want to leave. The outside world is scary and it invades my head with so many things.
"No, I'll see him at college" I nod, she looks disappointed but looks at me like she's waiting for me to change my mind, I guess going to Issac's isn't that bad, I've been there before.
I wouldn't actually be going outside, I have to face it anyways when I go to college, so it's best I do it now when I'm going to Issac's.
"Okay" I nod, I slowly crawl out of bed and take out some grey track suit bottoms and a shirt. I see Amelia smile out of the corner of my eye, I hate to disappoint anyone.
I turn around to get dressed and then just pull my hair into a ponytail and reach for my hoodie, "Okay I'm ready" I give her a small smile.
She walks over to me, a smile tugging onto her lips, "Everything will be okay" She pulls me into a hug. The amount of people over this past week who have done the exact same thing to me and I just felt empty afterwards, but this time is different Amelia fills me with a bit of hope.
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This sun was starting to come down casting a beautiful light night sky across us. Sitting in the car on the way to Issac's was some how relaxing, the roads were quiet so we almost sailed through stop lights smoothly.
Everyone was so surprised when I got downstairs, I think half the surprise was coming from me being dressed and the other half was because I was actually leaving the house.
Most parents would find that normal, their child leaving the house, some kids don't even want to go back home but for my parents, it was surprising to see me going places. Since I joined college I've been a bit more active and adventurous with Issac taking me to the amazing places I've been, but before that home was my favourite place and it still is.
Dad went back to his hotel, he's leaving soon to go back to his wife and Adelaide. I can't stop the jealously bubbling away inside me, she's only a little girl and I hate her for something that isn't her fault.
Hate is a strong word and I can't say that when I haven't even met her I'm just mad, annoyed, hurt that he has another little girl.
When we arrive at Issac's I wish I hadn't of come, the breeze is cold and I feel so weak that it might blow me off my feet. "Oh Darcy" Samantha comes rushing out to me, her arms stretched out wide, pulling into tight hug.
"I was so happy when Amelia said you were coming over" She strokes my hair, she smelt like freshly baked cookies, "You look perished! Let's get you inside" She takes my hand and guides me inside.
"We have the fire on" She smiles back at me, her hand is soft against mine. The house is beautiful and warm when I walk in, the living room is glowing from the fire and looks like the cosiest thing I've ever seen.
"Here you are, wrap yourself up" She wraps a warm fluffy blanket around me when I've sat down on the sofa, "Thank you" My voice comes out just above a whisper, her smile in response is laced with a little bit of sadness as she strokes my hair, looking at me for a few seconds before leaving the room.
"Hey Darc" The next person to walk in is Issac, "Hey" I smile weakly. I've made myself comfy on the sofa, it feels like a massive cloud.
He sits down next to me, I rest my head on the back of the sofa slowly closing my eyes, "How have you been?" He gently stokes my hair.
I appreciate everyone who cares for me but I'm getting tired of answering this question, but I can't be mad at Isaac, I can see in his eyes how worried he is.
My eyes now open I look at him, "I'm okay, just annoyed, confused" I shrug fiddling with the blanket, it was soft under my fingers.
"Why? What's happened?" His voice peeks with worry, I feel my eyes start to prick with tears at what I'm about to tell him. When these words come out my mouth It'll finally sink in that it's true, that it's real life and not just a bad dream.
"Dad, he has another child"
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i hope this isn't too terrible, it's not my best chapter .
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