Month 2
It's been a month now the same boring stuff happen, the support group making me feel even more depressed because all they talked about death while thinking were fucking here to talk about not dying while you go around talking about the positves and negatives of death thinking that will cure our depressison okay hahahaha fuck you. I also had to go to a councler (A/N which they suck ugh) and talk about my feelings which I decided not to and play with there emotions insted of them playing with mine
Them:So tell me how you feel
Me:Why?
Them: Don't you just want to open your heart out
Me:No, how about you open your fucking heart out, so tell me how you feel sweetheart. *Mocking tone*
Them:Hun thats my job.
Me:Call me "Hun one more time I'll slit your throught.
Them:Well then sweetheart lets-
Me:Well sweetheart isn't going to work so its either you stop calling fucking names or you tell me how YOU feel.
Them: Well I feel like your a bitch.
Me:Yeah that doesn't bother me.
*Timer goes off*
Me: Well hun sorry times up, have fun fucking yourself.
Well as you can see that didn't work out as she planned, I think to myself as I walk out of the room I've been going to a different conceler every day because I crack everyone I had. I really can't wait to get out of here I want to be there not here any were but here please, the only thing I'm looking forward to is the visit day tomorrow, if anyone comes, I hope so but you never know.
The next day
I was excited becuase it was visiting day I got changed into the clothes they gave me, and when I was done everyone came in, exept Shawn and the Jacks, wow they told me they would be there, but Shawns so big now so I understand that. They all had an hour to talk to me alone first came Taylor. "Hi," I say while hes looking around my room,"This must be living hell,Soph I wish I could take you out of this place, but I want you to get better, you're just an angel without wings, when you get out of here I don't know whats going to happen but I hope everythings going to work out, I love you.'' Before I can say something he walks out the door, letting the next person come in which was Tori my best friend the girl who knew more about me then I did, she walked in not even letting me talk, just bringing me into the biggest hug you could imagine, "Sophia this has been the hardest month of my life and I don't think I can last the next 4 months without you, I'm going to ask if I can stay with you to support you with everything, but we all aparently cut our time down so one of us could talk with you longer, but I'm gonna ask now!" She says hugging me then running out of the room.
Really it was all the same from everyone else they where giving me pitty which I hated, until the person I asummed had gotten the longest time, Hayes,""Hi, Hayes,"I say smiling.
"Sophia, I've missed you so much I just wanted to tell you, that none of have been the same, we all love you so much, even if some of us aren't here they miss you we miss you, I miss you I've missed since we left eachother at that airport exactly a year from tomorrow, you're an angel, I feel so bad I've learned that I was the cause of this, it breaks my heart, that you've done that, Sophia Caniff, I swear to
god, I'm in love with you, no matter what anyone says, I'm going crazy without you in my arms, I need you,"
He finishs crying.
"Hayes, I'm in love with you, fucking crazy without you, I've learned that, come here,"I say as he follows me to the window I have in my room,"See this star?"I ask point to a fairly dull star in the sky,"When I die, I'm going to be that star, shining brighter than any other star, and when I die and I'm not there to hug and kiss you talk to this star, I might not reply but I'll always be there shining down watching you, find another love, get married, raise your kids, and die happy,"I say whipping the tear that fell from my eye.
"Sophia, I will do what ever you need as long as you know that I love you"
"Hayes I love you too, just don't forget about me,"
"Never."
"Never."
A/N HI SO THIS boOKS ALMOST OVER