You and Tommy had been in an awkward position for many years. The two of you cared about each other so much, but it never worked out between the two of you - due to the fact you were not interested at all, about the gang. You had how much the gang meant to Tommy and how he would put anything at risk for it. It made you feel vulnerable and you were not strong enough to cope with it.
The family kept in contact with you, even though you and Tommy cooled things off; after all, you were still apart of the family by heart - they all loved you.
You had meant another man, a vicar, a young man who followed God in the ways of life. You were never the religious type, but you believed in a God and the spirit in which he was taught by.
The boys were always taking the piss out of you and the relationship that you had with the Vicar - Tom; but you ignored them, knowing they were doing it in an harmless way. Tommy hated the fact you were with him and it made him extremely jealous.
Deep down inside, you knew that you shouldn't be perusing another man, when you were still very much in love with another. Tommy never got over you and watched the relationship between you and Tom flourish right before his eyes, which killed him.
"No fucking way!" Ada gasped as she looked to the ring on your finger. "And the engagement party is tonight!?"
"Yes way." You smiled as you breathed out your cigarette, putting it in your mouth once more before breathing the smoke out. "He wanted it ASAP. I told him he didn't need to both."
"When is the wedding booked for?" She asked and you shrugged your shoulders. "Well, you could sound more fucking happy!"
"I am happy" You defend yourself quickly, making her raise her eyebrows; knowing what you truly felt.
"You know, if you still have feelings for him, you should just tell him. I am sure -" She begins but you cut her off by standing up and putting the fag in the ash tray.
"I am happy Ada." You snap and grab your coat; before walking outside and slamming the door as you left.
As you walked down the lane, you kept looking at your ring - making you question everything as you continued to walk. You knew it was for the best and what you needed to keep you grounded. While you were too busy looking down, you didn't see that you were about to collide into a familiar chest.
"Y/N" Tom smiled as you looked up to him; smiling back to him as he kissed your cheek.
"Hey" You breathe out; smiling at him as he steps back to see you.
"Where are you off too?" He asks and you shrug your shoulders, looking around the place. "Okay, well I have to go. Got a service to attend too."
"Bye" You both say to each as he walks away; leaving a smirking John from behind where Tom stood.
"Shut the fuck up John" You growl as you walk past him; shoving his shoulder but he came running after you.
"I have heard a rumour." He smirks more; following after you.
"Oh yeah, well what would that rumour be?" You snap; looking to him as he sees your hand.
"You are engaged to him" He raises an eyebrow and lifts your hand up to show the ring. "And the rumour was true."
You snatched your hand back and narrowed your eyes at him.
"Does Tommy know?" You ask, your heart beating faster and faster.
"No, not that I am aware of." He answers honestly, lighting a cigarette and giving you one and the two of you stand in silence. "But He will find out sooner or later Y/N."
"I know..." You breathe out the smoke, looking around the place. "God, where am I messing up John?"
"You two care about each other a lot." He shrugs. "Of course it's going to make things difficult for the both of you."
"Wow, John." You tease. "You sound poetic."
"Fuck off" He laughs, nudging your shoulders as you stumble back. The two of you laugh and continue to do so.
"John boy, I need you to -" Tommy's voice speaks as he comes from behind you. "Ah, hello Y/N. Congratulations by the way."
"Thank you" You simply answer, not sure he really meant it at all.
"Now you will have to be as good as you always are." John adds. "No more messing around."
"Boring" you roll your eyes; hearing it all before. You looked to Tommy and the two of you caught eye contact, which was completely dangerous between the two of you. "Well, I should go."
"We will both be there tonight" John called as you walked away, internally slapping yourself at the thought of agreeing with the engagement party.
"Great" You let out a tear before hurrying away and back to your house. Crying your heart out into your bed sheets as you began to think about Tommy and what the two of you, could have had.
*
"Congratulations sweetie!" Polly kissed your cheek as she greeted you at the engagement party.
"Thanks Pol" You briefly smiled, as she then went to hug Tom. He put a hand on your back as you watch Tommy as he came in.
"We need to great the other vicars." Tom ushered you away; bringing you to the other vicars. Tom smiled as he shook each of their hands, introducing you to them.
"Who let the Shelby's in here?" One frowned as he turned his nose up at the people you called family.
"I did" You snap. "Do you have a problem with that?"
"Well, they are not exactly holy." Another teases and you roll your eyes.
"Didn't God say not to judge others?" You retort and everyone goes silent. Tom looks to you with wide eyes, alongside the rest of them. "Excuse me."
"Y/N?" Tom calls after you as you rush out the back of the Garrison. "Y/N, what was that?"
"They deserved it" You snap as you looked to Tom as the two of you stood outside arguing. The rain started to fall down.
"Y/N, you don't understand that as being my wife. You have a responsibilities!" He pushes out and you look to him, frowning at him.
"What? Are you saying I am not good enough?" You frown, scoffing as you look away from him.
"No, I am not saying that!" He groans and you shake your head. "I am saying you have to live up to expectations."
"I am not pretending to be a person I am not" You yell, getting more and more angry as you looked to him.
"Then, Y/N, it is not going to work out." He breathes out and you let a tear go; allowing the rain to fall down your body.
"Fine then" You stutter and hands him back the ring, he holds it in his hands and puts it in his pocket; before turning away. "You know Tom, you are a great man and I hope you find someone. But I cannot change who I am."
"Thank you and I hope you find the right man too - but I think you have already found him." He winks and walks away; leaving you standing there.
You cry as you stand in the rain and minutes seem to go back as you stand outside, not sure what to do next. Listening to Toms muffled voice sent shivers down your spine as you thought of the people leaving the venue - announcing the break off.
"Well that was a quick end" You heard Tommy say from behind you. "Y/N, come inside before you get sick."
You looked to him and walked to him; his arms outstretched as you went to him. Hugging into him, you sigh and look up to him.
"I heard what you said, to the vicars." He smirks and you laugh, wiping your tears away as he wraps his jacket around you.
"I'm the only one who can judge you lot" You let out a small giggle and Tommy smiled back to you.
The two of you stayed in silence - you still in his arms.
"What are we doing" You sigh, finally speaking after a while of deafening silence.
"I have no idea" He sighs.
"I love you Tommy, you know that don't you?" You ask, looking up to him.
"I know" He breathes out and looks down to you. "I love you too."
His lips itch closer to yours and the two of you engage yourself in a kiss that was so passionate and long awaited!