CHAPTER FITEEN
WOLF'S OUT OF THE BAG
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"Is it possible to feel your heart collapse in on itself?" I wondered out loud.
From across the room, Allison looked up from her computer. "If it was, I think way too many girls would be in severe pain. Especially One Direction fans."
I let out a tiny chuckle, rolling over on her bed. I had ventured over to Allison's house a few hours ago. I had come over bearing homework help, but that had long been forgotten. It was pretty much a ruse. I wanted her parents to like me. You know, and hopefully not somehow find out I was best friends with a werewolf. Surprisingly, Allison's dad (the one who shot Scott with a crossbow) was actually less intimidating then her mother. But maybe it had something to do with the fact her mother answered the door holding a kitchen knife. Baking my ass.
My amusement with the Directioner joke was only short lived. I let out a small groan. "Why does he like her?"
"I'm telling you," Allison said for the millionth time I'd been here. "He likes you, not Lydia!"
I sat up, raising an eyebrow at her. "Yeah, definitely. Because if he actually liked me, he wouldn't be worrying about her."
"A giant animal crashed through a window in front of her," she reminded me while looking at her screen.
"I tripped over a dead body. All I got was a hug," I muttered darkly.
She sighed, clicking out of whatever she was looking at. "But you're doing pretty damn well. She's pretty much on the crazy train with about like seven bottles of meds."
I shrugged. "Whatever. Still doesn't take away from the fact that he doesn't like me."
"Oh my God," she groaned. "Carson. Listen to me. Stiles? He's in love with you. Emphasis on love. You may not be able to see it, but everyone else can! He thinks you're some kind of princess or something. He doesn't like Lydia."
"Then how come he's never asked me out?" I countered.
She smiled sadly at me. "If it makes you feel any better, my dad pretty much told me I can't see Scott for a while."
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, but at least you can have a conversation with him without your heart splitting in two."
She got up and sat on the bed beside me. She drew her knees into her chest. "You really like him, don't you?"
I sat in silence, just thinking about how to properly respond to her question. I think the truth was, I really did like Stiles. The feelings had seemingly come out of nowhere and had hit me like a truck speeding down a freeway. It was weird to think that I liked Stiles; that I wanted to date him. I wasn't really sure how to go about this. It had always been easier before. I had never freaked out about crushes and I definitely didn't get upset if they didn't like me back.
This made me wonder what was so God damned special about Stiles. I had barely liked him for a week and already it had made me cry twice. I could practically feel my heart tearing along the same fault lines, all because of the same person. When I had met Stiles when we were four, never would I imagine the kind of hold he would have on me. Never would I have guessed he'd make me feel such a whirlwind of emotions. It was like a rollercoaster, this crush. One minute, he was making me blush and giggle and worry about the smallest things. Then he was making me feel pain and want to go drown in a tub of Chunky Monkey.
I didn't know what made me like him so much. How could I have spent almost thirteen years of my life, just completely ignoring everything that made him so likeable?
Between Stiles and other guys, no one could compare. As of now, Stiles had flooded my brain. It was like even if I tried to think about another guy, I'd just end up picking out the flaws they had; and Stiles was always the one I went back to. Like others weren't as adorably awkward as Stiles. Other guys weren't as sweet as him. Other guys weren't as attractive anymore. Their eyes weren't the right shade and their hair was too long.
No one could compare anymore. I was in too deep.
I looked at Allison and nodded once. I didn't need to say any words. There were no words to describe how I felt.
And I knew, that based on how I'd seen her around Scott, she would understand. Completely and unconditionally.
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I was walking down the hall to my next class when I saw a familiar mop of brown curls.
"Stay away from Jackson, stay away from Jackson," I heard Scott mumble.
From the other end of the hall, Lydia looked out of her locker. "Hey Scott!" she cried cheerfully.
"Oh come on!" Scott cried out, spinning around. I smiled with a roll of my eyes, jogging to catch up with him.
"Having trouble?" I asked while falling in step beside him.
He visibly jumped, before realizing it was me. "Jesus, Carson."
"Sorry," I laughed. "What's with the avoiding people?"
He looked around quickly, as if he was going to share a giant secret. "Derek said that I have to stay away from them until after the full moon. To protect them and stuff."
He grabbed my arm and yanked me in the direction of his locker. "You're listening to Derek. Why exactly?"
"Because he's the only one who can help!" Scott groaned. "If you can find another, nicer werewolf, let me know and I'll jump ships. But for now, he's all we got."
I nodded with a sigh as he spun his combination into the lock.
"Have you talked to Stiles at all?" Scott asked me.
I shook my head. I didn't really want to talk to him. I knew it was childish to be mad at him because he liked Lydia. But I was petty, to be quite honest.
"He hates me."
I shook my head. "He doesn't hate you."
"He hates me. It's my fault that his dad got hurt!" Scott exclaimed, yanking a thick text book out of his locker.
I shook my head. "You can't protect everyone. Stiles is just upset, but he knows it' not your fault."
"How is it not my fault?" Scott groaned. "Everything that's happened has been my fault!"
I scoffed and smacked his on the arm. "None of this is your fault, Scott. You didn't ask for this. And it's not like you can be in two places at once!"
"I didn't want for his dad to get hurt," Scott moaned while slamming the door shut. "It's just that all I could worry about was Allison."
I nodded, linking my arm with his. We began walking down the hall to our next class. "Look, you chose Allison because you're head over heels for her. It's understandable. If it makes you feel better, if the situation was reversed and Stiles had a choice between your mom and Lydia, he'd probably choose Lydia."
Scott stopped abruptly, causing me to stumble back. "Lydia? Why the hell would it be between my mom and Lydia?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Because he likes her," I said as if it were totally obvious.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Scott replied, brow furrowed. "Stiles doesn't like Lydia. Like at all."
"Yeah, he does," I insisted, dragging him to the class.
Scott shook his head in disagreement. "No. He doesn't. Why the hell would he like Lydia? No offense, but she's kinda nuts."
"I don't know. All I know is when we went to her house, he was all concerned and crap. And when she was pretty much telling him to do unmentionable things, he was all for it. And then she said Jackson."
Scott snorted. "Trust me. If he liked, Lydia, I would know. Besides, why does it matter? You jealous or something?"
"No."
Scott turned to me wide eyed. "Your heart beat rose. You're lying! You like Stiles!" Scott gasped with a giant grin on his face. He looked like a little kid on Christmas.
I knew there was absolutely no point of lying to Scott; especially with his werewolf senses. "I don't know why you're so excited about this."
"Because now you guys can date!" he said excitedly. To be honest, he was a little too excited.
"He likes Lydia."
"No he doesn't," Scott groaned. "He...oh my God. You just need to tell him!"
"No," I responded quickly.
Scott shrugged. "Okay, then I'll tell him."
My eyes widened instantly. We were just outside the classroom when I yanked him to the side. He couldn't tell Stiles. He just couldn't.
"What are you doing?" Scott asked while yanking his shirt out of my grip. "We're going to be la—"
"You have to promise me you won't tell him," I said seriously.
He gave me a look. "Carson, come o—"
"Promise me, Scott," I repeated, staring steadily into his eyes. "He can't know."
Scott sighed overdramatically. "Fine, I won't tell him. But if you don't end up doing something about it, I will."
"Nothing's going to happen," I told him, brushing past into the classroom.
We walked in, both of us immediately locking eyes with Stiles. He immediately ignored Scott, but looked at me with...worry? I hadn't been answering his past few texts, but that was about it.
I slipped into my usual seat next to Stiles and Scott sat behind him.
"Still not talking to me?" Scott asked Stiles, leaning forward in his seat.
Stiles didn't answer. He just stared straight ahead at the board.
Scott sighed. "Okay, can you at least tell me if your dad is okay? I mean, it's just a bruise right? Some soft tissue damage? Nothing that big?"
Stiles looked like he was extremely annoyed. Scott looked massively upset. I could understand. One of his best friends was royally pissed at him. And since I have to deal with both of them, it was time to play peace maker.
"He feels really bad," I threw in, digging through my bag.
Stiles eyes flashed over to me. "Talking to me again?"
"Would you rather me not?" I responded. "Look, both of you need to stop acting like idiots and work this out. I'm the one meant to be making drama here, stop trying to steal my crown pal."
"Look," Scott cut in. "What if I told you that I'm trying to figure this whole thing out? That I went to Derek for help?"
"If I was talking to you, I'd say you're an idiot for trusting him. But obviously, I'm not talking to you," Stiles finally relented. But he didn't even look at Scott.
The bell rang and we all began getting our books out. Next to me, Stiles wouldn't stop fidgeting; he wanted to know what Derek had said. Badly. His want for info would soon win out.
Just as I thought, he whipped around in his seat. "What did he say?"
Scott and I smiled.
"He wants you to tap into your animal side and get angry?" Stiles scoffed as we exited the classroom forty five minutes later
"Yeah," Scott replied.
I raised an eyebrow. "Okay, stop me if we're wrong on this, but every time you do that you try to kill someone. And that someone is usually one of us."
"I know. That's why he says he doesn't know if he'll be able to teach me. But I have to be able to control it."
"Well how is he going to teach you?" I asked.
"I don't know. I don't think he does either."
"Okay, when are you seeing him again?" Stiles asked him.
Scott shrugged. 'He told me not to talk about it. Just try and get through the—"
"When?" I questioned, lightly hitting his arm.
"He's picking me up at the animal clinic after work," Scott relented after a moment.
"Alright, then that gives me to the end of the school day," Stiles sighed.
"To do what?" Scott and I asked.
Stiles looked at us. "To teach you myself."
I had a feeling this was going to be very painful for Scott.
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As Lydia sprung up from her table with Allison, Stiles looked back and watched her go.
Slight jealousy flared up in me. And believe me, it wasn't a pleasant feeling. I bit my tongue, stabbing a piece of lettuce with my fork. From beside me, Scott looked up from behind his text book with a smirk. He knew exactly what was running through my mind. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly why you do not tell Scott McCall under any circumstances who you like.
I didn't want to be jealous of Lydia and Scott knew that. She was my best friend. I didn't want to be one of those girls who hate someone because the guy they like liked them. But I just couldn't get what was so special about her; why did Stiles have to like Lydia? Why not someone else?
Why not me?
I had wasted too many tears and I couldn't avoid him for the rest of my life. But being around him, well let's just say my heart didn't feel all that great.
"Okay, I think the textbook is making it more obvious," Stiles told Scott.
I nodded in agreement, happy to detour Scott's mind. "Besides, she's reading something anyways."
"So did you come up with a plan yet?" Scott asked Stiles.
"Yeah, I think so," Stiles said in between a bite of apple.
Scott nodded. "So does that mean you don't hate me?"
"No. But your crap has infiltrated my life, so I have to do something about it," Stiles said.
"Nice," I laughed. "You're such a kind person Stiles."
"Whatever. And anyways, I'm definitely a better Yoda then Derek," Stiles said to us.
"Okay, yeah, you teach me," Scott replied.
Stiles nodded. "Yeah, I'll be your Yoda."
"Yeah, you be his Yoda," I laughed. I was crushing on a dork. A dork who didn't like me back, but still.
"Your Yoda I will be," Stiles said in a Yoda-ish voice. He chuckled, clearly amused by himself. "I said it backwards."
"Yeah," Scott cut in. "I know."
"You know what? I definitely still hate you. Uh huh, oh yeah," Stiles said while gathering his things. He yanked the text book out of Scott hands and pulled me up.
"Why the hell do I have to come?" I called ahead to him as he began dragging us down the hall. We were headed in the direction of the locker rooms.
"I need to get some things for my plan," he said. But before we even reached a destination, he pulled me aside. "But first: why were you ignoring me yesterday? I texted you like a gazillion times."
I nodded awkwardly. I should have known he'd ask this eventually. Oh god, Carson. Lie. Think of a lie. "Yeah, I know."
"Then why didn't you answer?" he asked.
"It's nothing important," I replied.
He raised an eyebrow at me. "Seriously? That has to be the lamest excuse ever. Did I do something? Does it have to do with when I dropped you off?"
He was gently touching my arm, a concerned look floating in his hazel eyes. Everything he was doing was making me want to drop everything and just kiss him.
But I knew I couldn't. He liked Lydia. I would never be good enough for him. Not now, not ever.
"Look, Stiles. You like Lydia, fine. Just know you're only setting yourself up for hurt," I responded.
"Carson, I don't like—"
"Look can we just go get the stuff?" I asked angrily. "I really don't want to talk about it okay?"
"Carson—"
I yanked my arm from his grip. "Let's just go."
He took a step back, nodding. "Okay."
I started walking down the hall, him trailing after me. This entire thing was going to drive me crazy.
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