Lyra didn't know why Sesshomaru had gotten so angry at her that he just up and left. Was it truly because she got involved in the matter of the child's father? Or was it something else? She just didn't know.
She waited for him to return that night. She stayed sitting up and staring at the door, hoping that the door would slide open and he would come walking in. More tears fell. No matter how long she waited, he wasn't returning. Slowly, she lay down in bed but stayed facing the door. Her tears fell onto the pillow and soon enough it had become soaked. Burying her face into the pillow, she cried. Her heart was wrenching because she still couldn't understand why he was so angry.
Eventually, she had cried herself to sleep.
***
The next morning, Lyra woke up to the sound of birds. She rubbed her eyes and heard shuffling in the room.
"Sesshomaru?" she gasped as she sat up quickly. "Oh..."
It wasn't him. Sabu and Josei were in there preparing something. They looked at her before bowing their heads.
"Good morning," Sabu greeted. "Lord Sesshomaru had left last night, my Lady."
Lyra sighed quietly. "Yeah. I-I forgot..."
The feeling of sickness suddenly took over and she quickly covered her mouth as she began to retch. Josei rushed over with a wooden bucket and gave it to Lyra. It was just in time as Lyra began to throw up into the bucket. Josei held back her hair as Sabu went over to rub her back.
Once she was done throwing up, they gave her a cloth to wipe her mouth and then a cup of water. Lyra breathed out as Josei took the bucket from her.
"Thank you," she said.
"Lord Sesshomaru informed us before he left that you would be sick in the morning," Josei told her. "And he had the cook prepare dishes for you."
Lyra looked over to where she had found them when she woke up. There was a table full of items for her to choose from. They had opened the doors to the garden as well to allow fresh air in for her. That explained why she could hear birds.
"Did he say anything else before he left?" she asked them hopefully.
"No, my Lady," Sabu answered.
Lyra's heart dropped as it became more heavy. Sabu was saying something to her but Lyra had zoned out as she thought about Sesshomaru. It hurt so bad and it was only getting worse.
"My Lady?" Sabu called when Lyra didn't respond. "Are you okay?"
Lyra shook herself out of it. "Yes, sorry. You were saying?"
"I was wondering if you would like a bath after breakfast."
She put on a small smile. "Yes, please. Thank you."
Sabu nodded before she and Josei left the room. Lyra's stomach began rumbling but she didn't feel like eating. If she wasn't pregnant, she would have completely dismissed the food. However, she had another life to think about. Forcing herself out of bed, she went and sat beside the table of food.
She slowly picked on one of the dishes. The taste didn't reach her taste buds as she chewed on it. More tears welled up in her eyes before falling down her cheeks. After forcing herself to swallow the food, she covered her face with her hands and began to sob quietly.
The bath wasn't as enjoyable as the last time. Sesshomaru was with her the last time they were there. She closed her eyes as she lay back against the bath remembering that day. They had made love in the morning before they bathed together. Sesshomaru had been extremely loving in the bath, kissing her neck and shoulders. She wished she could go back to that moment.
After the bath, she had asked to be left alone. She sat in the private garden, leaning back against one of the posts of the veranda.
The last time she stayed on her own, she didn't feel as lonely as she did now. She hoped she was going to wake up and it would prove to have been just a nightmare. Closing her eyes, she reached up and touched her necklace that Sesshomaru had given her. Since that day, she had never taken it off.
"What did I do that was so bad? Why are you punishing me like this, Sesshomaru?" she spoke aloud to herself. "Why..?"
***
Two weeks had gone by and there was still no sign of Sesshomaru. Every day went by at a snail's pace. Every moment was horrible. She was throwing up more and she was losing her appetite. The only reason she ate was for the baby.
She didn't cry anymore. There was no point in it. She merely remained quiet and barely ever spoke to her maids or anyone else in the castle.
When night had fallen, Lyra took her pillow and blanket out to the veranda and decided to lay outside. She had been throwing up all day and she was just exhausted. She closed her eyes as she hugged the blanket around her, listening to all the insects.
"You'll fall ill out here."
Her eyes snapped open and she quickly sat up. Sesshomaru was standing at the door to the garden looking down at her. He had already taken off his armour and swords and she was surprised she hadn't heard him. Lyra stared at him as her eyes stung with tears.
However, instead of greeting him, she lay back down and turned her back to him. She pulled the blanket over her head as well so he couldn't see her.
Sesshomaru sighed quietly. "Your anger is justified," he said before sitting down behind her. "I should not have left you the way I had. I apologise deeply and regret-"
"Go away," she said, her voice muffled by the blanket.
"Lyra-"
"I said leave me alone!"
Sesshomaru fell silent, gazing at her form under the blanket. Lyra was angry, sad, happy, annoyed all in one. But at that point, she didn't want to see him. He reached out and placed his hand on the blanket. Lyra found herself relaxing at his touch even through the blanket.
'No! Don't forgive him so easily, Lyra!'
She growled under her breath and flung the blanket off before getting up. Without looking at him, she walked passed him and into the room. She was just about to reach the door to leave the bedroom but Sesshomaru had caught hold of her wrist.
She closed her eyes and frowned deeply trying to get her wrist out of his grip. "Let go of me."
"Lyra, listen to me."
"No! I don't want to listen to you!"
She turned around with tears in her eyes whilst trying to pry his hand from around her wrist. Sesshomaru wasn't budging though. He could see how hurt she was as she cried out of anger. She continued trying to get out of his grip, now pushing against him and shaking her wrist.
"Just... Just leave me alone, Sesshomaru!" she yelled through her tears. "That's what you seem to be good at doing!"
He pulled her to him and let go of her wrist to hold his arm around her waist. That only seem to anger her further as she began hitting against his chest and pushing away from him. He watched her with sadness in his own eyes. She was behaving like that because of him and he deserved every hit she threw at him.
Eventually Lyra grew tired and gave up. She broke down in tears and clutched onto his kimono. Lowering her head, she buried her face into his chest and cried hard.
"Why did you leave me, Sesshomaru..? Why..?" she sobbed, her shoulders shaking before slamming the side of her fist to his chest. "What did I do...that you're punishing me..? Don't you..." She lifted her head and looked up into his eyes. "Don't you love me anymore?"
Sesshomaru's eyes widened. "Don't say such things." He held the back of her head and gazed deeply into her own eyes. "I love you more than anything."
"Then why did you leave?" she whispered, her voice shaking.
He wiped the tears streaming down her face with his thumb. "I...cannot explain it."
Lyra was clearly disappointed by his answer and frowned. "Why not? I deserve to know."
"It is not that I can't. I simply do not know how."
"You left me for two weeks, Sesshomaru." Her eyes had become slightly red from the crying but more threatened to spill. "Two. Whole. Weeks. Do you even realise what you've put me through? The last time I saw you, you were angry with me. And then you didn't so much as look at me before you left." She pulled herself out of his hold and stepped back. "You didn't send any messages or signs of your whereabouts. You didn't even check to see if I was okay. I mean, forget me. Forget about me if you want to but you could have at least checked to see if the baby was okay," she said, letting out all of her pent up rage. Sesshomaru could only watch her as she continued. "I've been throwing up a lot more, I can't eat, I can't sleep. Each minute felt like an hour. Every day felt like a week. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I was a complete mess. But you didn't even care enough to think about me."
"I did think about you. Every moment."
"Oh, well thank you for returning long enough to tell me that," she retorted with sarcasm.
Sesshomaru reached out and held her cheek but she turned her head away as her anger became overtaken with sadness once more. "I was angry at myself," he told her quietly. She closed her eyes and listened to him. "That night with the child and his father...I realised how undeserving I am of you."
Her brows furrowed with confusion as she looked at him again. "What..?"
His expression was serious but his eyes were sad. "I was unwilling to use the Tenseiga to save him because he had nothing to do with me. You pleaded to me to save him for the child's sake. It angered me from that point. When the others asked me, I did not even flinch. But when you asked me, for the first time in my life, I hesitated."
"But why?"
He closed his eyes and gently held the back of her head. "The woman I love is carrying my child. I am to be a father. At that moment, I realised how selfish I was. Yet I still chose to ignore you for the sake of my pride, only choosing to save the child's father when Tenseiga urged me to." He opened his eyes to see her calm expression. "When we returned, I only grew more angered when I saw how proud you were of me. I didn't deserve to see that light in your eyes. I took my anger out on you and left because I did not wish to see the disappointment in your eyes."
Lyra breathed out softly and clutched onto his kimono. "You're so silly. Why didn't you just tell me?"
"A woman so selfless, willing to aid others she doesn't even know. A mother before her child is even born." He placed a kiss to her forehead before looking at her again. "Do I deserve to be a father?"
She quickly placed her hand over his mouth and shook her head. "Don't speak that way. Of course you do." She moved her hand away and held his face. "You are going to be the most perfect father."
He placed his hand over hers. "I hurt you."
"Yes, you did. You hurt me a lot," she spoke truthfully. "But all these feelings are new to you and you took it out on me. It's true that they say you hurt the the ones you love most. I don't love you any less. My love will keep growing for you everyday. But, Sesshy..." She sighed. "Whenever something is bothering you, don't just leave me in the dark, okay? Talk to me about these things."
"It took me a while but I understand now. As I said before, your anger was justified. But I hope you can forgive me for my foolish mistakes."
Lyra smiled and rested her head against his chest. "I forgive you."
Sesshomaru truly couldn't believe how lucky he was. He had left her alone for two weeks and in that time she had been hurting. Yet she forgave him so easily. She was the only one who could grip him to reality. If he was to become a father soon, he would have to learn from her. He had to prove it to himself that he was worthy of her. Lyra had been extremely angry. She had never been so angry and upset in all her life but it all disappeared when she found out the reason why. He didn't know how to handle all those new feelings he was getting and it was her duty as his soulmate to teach him. She couldn't be angry at him for something he didn't understand.
They both had completely different lives. They were still learning from each other and learning about each other. It was a difficult journey, but one they had to take together.
Sesshomaru placed a kiss to the top of her head. "I have brought you a gift."
"Really? What is it?" she asked, lifting her head to look up at him.
"Wait here."
He let go of her before making his way to the bedroom door. He slid the door open and Lyra's eyes almost popped out of her head. In came running a tiny little cat. But it wasn't just a regular feline.
"You got me a tiger?!"
It was true. There was a tiny tiger cub playing right in front of her. It had large grey eyes as it sat at her feet, staring up at her. It mewled as it rolled onto its back to play.
Lyra laughed out of disbelief as she crouched down to it. She reached out her hand and stroked its head making the cub mew and close its eyes. Sesshomaru joined her but stayed standing.
"I feel like Princess Jasmine," Lyra said, laughing softly as she continued to play with the tiger.
"Who?"
"She's a princess in this movie and she has a pet tiger. It's so cool. I've always wanted to be like her." She looked up at him and realised he had no idea what she was talking about. "Never mind. It's a future thing."
"Both he and Taiyo belong to you," he told her, dismissing her previous comment. "You may name him what you wish."
Lyra giggled to herself. "I'm so calling him Rajah. That's what Jasmine's tiger was called."
"Rajah?"
"Yes. It means 'king'."
Sesshomaru sat down beside her and watched her play happily with the tiger cub. To see that smile return to her face warmed his heart. It was one of the things he had missed the most. While she played with her new pet, he watched only her.
***
The cub had fallen asleep on Lyra's lap and she had fallen asleep on Sesshomaru's lap. He carefully took the cub and lay him down on a blanket beside their bed. Holding Lyra gently, he lay down with her, holding her body close to his as he watched her sleep.
It was the first time Lyra had slept properly in two weeks. And it was the first time Sesshomaru understood his heart.