Warning: sensitive topics (bulimia, blood, anxiety etc.) Please read with caution.
**
"Malakei? Can you pass me the potatoes?"
Anya questions from my right making Malakei look up from his plate that he has been staring at for the last few minutes, taking small bites of his dinner. He hands her the small tray of steaming potatoes and I can't help but watch her as she scoops two into her plate. Laying the tray down beside her. When she notices my eyes on her she looks up.
"I'm sorry. Would you like some?"
"How can you eat at a time like this?" I can't help but whisper out. Immediately regretting saying anything and look down at my untouched plate of food as I sink back in my chair. Curling my lip, I bring my hand up and push the food away. Malakei gives me a stern look.
"You need to eat something Keylin. You didn't eat this morning." He points out and I look up at him.
"With all that has happened, I guess I just haven't a taste for food anymore."
"Keylin-" Malakei begins to say but I stand up. Pushing my chair back as I do causing it to screech in the silent room. I narrow my eyes at him.
"Forgive me for not wanting to feast. I suppose the thoughts of murks attacking the Sky Lanes because of me and causing havoc on the city sours things."
I was vivid as I clenched my hands either side of me on the table into fists that shook with frustration, anger, nerves? Whatever it was. Not to mention the discovery of Raen being a Trainer. Or was a Trainer-I don't know. There's a lot of things I don't know anymore. It doesn't help that Raen sits beside me in silence. Not having said a word since the revelation as he stares down shamefully at his untouched food. I wasn't the only one who felt this way.
"Calm down." Anya sighs. Placing her cutlery down to look up at me with tight lips. "Something like this was bound to happen eventually. It doesn't matter if you did it or not. So there's no use crying over spilled milk. Or bile..whichever you prefer."
I narrow my eyes at her. Hoping they would actually turn into daggers so that I could use them to stab her.
"She's right Key." Malakei says softly and I turn my daggers on him. I notice he physically flinches.
"Just sit down okay? If you want to talk about it, we can."
"I don't want to talk about it." I croak out, turning my head to the side.
"I want to write my wrongs. Clean up my mess. I want to put an end to this pain and fear once and for all."
I was breathless. Words tumbling out of my mouth that I didn't realise would affect me so much. Voicing my thoughts took a lot out of me but I finally knew what I wanted to do.
"I'm going to kill Max." I state with determination.
Anya lets her fork slip from her grip at the same time Malakei blinks up at me fearful. A 'what?' coming from his lips.
I open my mouth to speak again but this time nothing comes out. As if the words were stuck in my throat. I close my mouth and swallow them back down. I feel Raen's hand touch my wrist and I turn to look down at him. Eyes somewhere else instead of looking up at me.
"Sit, please." He says quietly and his voice shakes me. He sounded so unsure of himself. Raen was never so. I sit out of fright and turn to him. I grab his hand on my wrist and entangle our hands.
"Raen?" I question but suddenly, my voice seems to break him of his bubble and come to the surface. His eyes turn glassy and looks as though he would burst into tears any moment. He squeezes my hand in assurance and smiles at me before removing our hands.
"You shouldn't worry tonight. Eat. It will help you with your strength."
I hold his gaze for several moments before my whole demeanour breaks. My eyes fluttering as I blink away the sting in my eyes. With a shaky exhale, I turn to look down at my plate of food. Reaching for one of the silver forks on my right and slowly diving down to gather some mashed potato at the side of my plate. I lift it to my lips tentatively. My mouth waters at the taste but I can't help but wince at the salty starch taste. My tastebuds haven't had something in so long, the flavours were a bit overwhelming. I felt as though I could describe every ingredient added to creating the masterpiece that is mashed potatoes.
After I swallow it, I reach down for another piece of the potato. Doing the same and bringing the fork to my mouth. I hesitate however when my eyes travel in front of me to Anya and Malakei. Both of them looking at me with two completely different emotions across their faces. Anya was surprised that I was eating. Expecting me to throw in the towel after the first bite.
Malakei...words could not describe how he looked at me. The emotions fleeting across his face had me in pure shock and a feeling of warmth forming inside me. I don't think I've ever seen that look before. The closest to it would be pride that I've only seen a few times in my life. Malakei looked as though he was holding his breath, a look of pure happiness on his face whilst also looking as though he wanted to burst into tears. He hid nothing from me.
The rest of the meal went quickly after that. I ate as much as I could which wasn't much but enough that gave me a small full sensation. I just hoped I didn't ruin it by throwing it all up later or tomorrow.
The servants collected our meals and we all went our separate ways except for Raen and I. We both walked in silence back to my room. That being the go to between both of our sleeping quarters. I haven't seen Raen's yet. I'm not even sure where he stays.
When we both got into the room. Raen didn't hesitate in heading to the bathroom to relieve himself whilst I let out a shaky breath. The familiar twisting and building already beginning in my stomach. I managed to shakily get to the bed where I sat down on the edge. Knee bobbing up and down anxiously as I waited for the feeling to subside but knew that it wouldn't. Judging by the feeling, I was 10 minutes away from puking my dinner back up.
I let out a strangled sigh as I leaned forward. Putting my face in my hands as the distant sound of Raen washing his hands could be heard. I tried to take in steady breaths.
"Key?" I can hear Raen call from the bathroom door but I ignore him. Focusing on inhaling and exhaling as calmly as possible.
"Baby?" He questions. Closer this time and he startles me when I feel him pull my hands from my face. Revealing him kneeling in front of me with a worried look in his eyes.
"D-Don't feel good." I whisper out as I take in a shaky breath. Scrunching my brows in pain as my stomach grumbled unpleasantly. I placed my arms over it. Letting out a dry laugh and blinking tears of frustration away.
"What's the point anymore if I'm just going to throw it back up? I don't even care anymore. This is just fucking pathetic."
"Don't say that." Raen whispers with furrowed brows as he places his hands over mine covering my stomach, running small circles into them.
"The point is that even if you throw it up, you don't stop eating. You have to build it back up so that your tummy can take food. Then work your way up to bigger portions. Please don't think like that baby. No one thinks you're pathetic. We just want to help you get better." Raen frowns in worry as he brings a hand up to brush the hair sticking to my forehead. A small layer of sweat clinging to my skin as slight shakes wreck my body. I shiver at the still room air as Raen cups my cheek. He bites his lip as he looks up at me.
"You're sick baby." He states quietly, sadly.
I whimper as the familiar feeling in my stomach makes me clutch his arms. Gasping as I bolt up and run to the bathroom. My hands clinging to the toilet bowl as I wretched violently into the toilet. Wincing at the burning sensation in my throat from doing so and closing my eyes as a wave of pain hits me.
I pant out breathless when I'm finished and I stay there for a moment. Regaining myself mentally as the weak feeling after my stomach was emptied returns like usual. I blink open my eyes and what I notice in front of me makes my eyes widen and stomach drop in fear.
I bring my wrist up and wipe the stray spit containing blood from my mouth and move my hand shakily to flush the multicoloured vomit down the toilet. Erasing any thoughts of the blood ever being there.
I quickly turn around in my kneeling position and sit on the ground. Resting my arms over my hiked up knees. Panting as my vision begins to steady and one Raen is standing at the doorframe instead of two.
"I think we should tell Vixen about this...you're not getting better Key." Raen says quietly. Just above a whisper and I look up at him. Swallowing anxiously as I nod at him. Shaken up by what I saw just a few moments ago...I needed help. This wasn't something I could fix with eating anymore. I was seriously sick to the point I could choke on blood next time and it scared the hell out of me.
"I-I'll tell her. She can help me with it." I smile shakily up at Raen who sighs in relief. Nodding down at me with a little less weight behind his eyes.
I could only hope he didn't see the blood. He wasn't as freaked out as I thought he would be which made me believe he didn't see anything. Giving me my space because he knows this is not a proud moment for me. I thought I could deal with this on my own. Heal myself, but I think this is beyond the point of healing and more to the point of saving.
—
As Raen and I were getting ready to go to bed, Anya burst through the door making both of us turn to her in shock but we're immediately moving in alert.
"Come quick." She pants out from what seemed to be the effect of running.
"It's Bow." She states seriously with eyes filled of fright.
My eyes widen as I'm quickly grabbing my jacket at the end of the bed. Not bothering to put on shoes as I run to the door in my navy blue pyjama bottoms and white tank top.
"What happened?" I ask frantically as I fly down the hallway beside Anya. Raen hurrying behind me as he stared at the girl. She looked frantic as she all but ran down the hallway. Taking us to him.
"Anya! Calm down ok? He's going to be fine just, what happened? Is my brother ok? Did he-"
I'm immediately cut off when we burst through the doors entering the kitchen by the sound of cheering and whoops. I flatten my ears as I look before me. Standing in shock, I take in the scene before me as Raen slides to a stop beside me. Hands coming over my shoulder.
"Happy Birthday Keylin!"
Bow. Tara. Malakei. Anya. Mila and Baja.
All of them standing in front of me as they screamed at the top of their lungs. Happy smiles on each of their faces as they look at me. Tara and a very alive Bow being in the centre, holding a cake with candles on it.
"I.." I trail off, blinking at the scene in front of me. Not really knowing how to react. I take in a shaky breath before letting it out in a breathless chuckle. Tears stinging my eyes as I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"It's 11:00pm." Bow states with a smile. "There's still an hour left of your birthday."
"Seeing as we can't celebrate Dry Lander style back home.." Tara moves forward with the cake, the rest following as they each made their way up beside her. She smiles down at me, lovingly.
"We can celebrate right now with the people that mean the most to us, together. We are all so happy to have met you Keylin. You own a piece of each of our hearts."
Tara smiles down at me as I bite my lip to keep from crying but my face was red. I can feel Raen's hand massage my shoulder and I want to laugh. I want to cry. I want to kill Bow and Anya.
I look up at my friends. Trailing my eyes to Bow. Relieved that nothing bad had happened like Anya had portrayed. He smiles at me and reaches forward. The first to take me in a hug.
"Sorry for giving you a heart attack." He chuckles into my shoulder before leaning back.
"It was the only way to get you down here without spoiling the surprise." He states shyly.
"Happy Birthday bro."
I let out a teary chuckle. Finally letting the first tear fall down my smiling cheeks as I grab Bow's shoulder and pull him back into me. Hands going up around his shoulders tightly.
"Y-You are the best brother anyone could ever ask for." I sob out into his shoulder and he pats my back before rubbing soothing circles into it.
"Hey, it's alright." Bow hums and I can feel more hands patting my back in reassurance.
"He had a tough day." I can hear Raen whisper to Tara at the side and I let my eyes shut at that briefly before pulling back from my brother. Wiping my left eye with the side of my hand.
"Sorry." I chuckle in embarrassment as I run a hand over my forehead and into my hair.
"Just uhm...got a bit emotional for a moment." I clear my throat as I look up at my friends. Noticing that they were all smiling at me in assurance before Tara is chuckling nervously.
"Is the fire supposed to burn through the candle or?-"
"Quick blow them out!" Mila exclaims chuckling as Tara scrambled over with the cake still in her hand closer to me. Almost shoving the cake in my face. I don't hesitate in blowing them out with a smile and everyone cheers at that. Tara is then placing the cake on the kitchen counter where her, Mila and Anya all help in taking out the candles and collecting plates with forks for everyone.
"Hey." Raen whispers quietly from behind where I can feel his hand tapping my back lightly before resting it there. I look up to him with a small smile before furrowing my brows at him in accusation.
"Did you know about this?" I question him and the smile on Raen's face intensifies. Eyes glinting and giving him away before he can respond.
"Me? No way. I had nothing to do with it." He shakes his head but I smile up at him nonetheless. Malakei scoffs from in front of me and I turn around to see him rolling his eyes in amusement. Smirking at us.
"Don't believe a word he says. He practically organised it." Malakei smiles softly at me before turning around and reaching out when Anya comes with a slice of cake. Only for Anya to slap his wrist with a scowl.
"That's Keylin's piece. He gets first slice because he's the birthday boy."
My eyes widen at that and I'm bringing my arms up around my body anxiously. Stepping back into Raen.
"I-I'm fine! I uh I'm still full from earlier. It looks lovely though."
The lie feels sour on my tongue and the fact that I'm lying to my friends. The people who went through all of the trouble to do this for me just for me to refuse a piece of cake on my birthday.
I hear Raen sigh from above me as I cast my gaze down. Trying not to look at the confused and worried look on their faces. Bow chuckles nonetheless, oblivious.
"Hell yeah! We nicked it from your wedding. A chocolate cake like that should be cherished and eaten respectfully." Bow states with amusement and I tug my lips upward when I look up at him.
What an eventful day. Never mind Birthday.
"Bow!" Mila scolds him before turning to me with a look of sympathy.
"I'm sorry you and Anya couldn't get married today. You must be heartbroken you poor thing. Don't worry. You don't need to be married to show you love each other anyways."
"Yeah." I agree in a quiet tone. Raen's hand on my back coming down to my middle as he ruffles my shirt, massaging his thumb into my back. I let out a sigh.
"You're absolutely right." I tug my lips up at her and she smiles a genuine smile at me. She doesn't have a clue. Neither does Bow.
"Come on Key..." Tara brings my attention up to her where she is holding the cake out to me with a raise of the eyebrows.
"It's chocolate." She smiles trying to tempt me and I hum, reaching out to take the cake from her outstretched hands. Afraid she would throw it in my face if I refused her again. Raen stepped back from me and this time, went over to the sink to grab some water.
I looked down at the cake with a frown before taking a breath. A horrible thought coming into my head that if this was going to be my last meal, at least I died eating my birthday cake surrounded by friends. I would always remember this moment. Where just once, I was normal. A normal teenager with friends who loved me. I could go where I wanted. Love who I wanted. Eat what I wanted. All without being judged and ridiculed.
I bring my fork into the chocolate cake, the others having long began cutting and handing out more slices of cake around. I bite my lip in contemplation of dumping the cake or shoving it down my throat just to get it over with. Why was this so hard?
Suddenly, a hand was grasping around mine. Taking my plate from me and I look up to see Malakei switching his almost empty plate with mine. I catch his eye and he quirks his lips at me. A sorrow in his eyes before he is quickly moving back and leaning against the counter. As if nothing had happened. He digs into the cake and I sigh out in relief. Looking down at the leftover piece. A blob of cream sits in a swirl on its side and I can't help but bring my finger down into it, bringing it up and licking the dairy substance.
"Key?" Raen questions and I look up at him to see he was holding two glasses of water in his hand. Blinking at me with confusion and glancing down at the plate in my hand.
"Did you..?"
"I-I guess you were right to not give up." I run my tongue over my dry lips before smiling up at Raen. Malakei eyeing me with a frown from behind Raen.
"I'm finally finding my appetite."
—
'Baja? Can you hear me?'
'Yes Trainer?'
'Are you hurting? Do you find yourself feeling weak recently?'
Baja huffs and my eyes fly up to the sound, immediately going around the kitchen counter. Spotting Baja lying against a set of cabinets on the opposite side. I waste no time in kneeling down beside her. She licks my cheek once.
'Baja only in pain when Trainer soul cries.'
I frown at that and bring my knees up close to my chest. Resting my elbows on them as I look out at my friends laughing and chatting. I let my head rest back against the cabinet.
'I'm sick Baja.' I say in my head. 'I was sick earlier and what I saw scared me.'
Baja turns her head to me at this. Eyes in alert.
'Baja does not have sight. Baja cannot see what Trainer sees..'
'I vomited blood a couple of hours ago. Usually that is serious and critical to a person's health.'
Baja huffs and shifts her head into my lap. I bring my hand down to pet her head and her ears twitch when my fingers come close to them.
'Trainer in pain but pain not spiritual. Baja cannot feel.'
'I need help Baja. I think...I think I'm dying. Please, tell me what to do.' Baja lifts her head and licks at my cheeks. Cleaning the stray tears that had escaped my eyes.
'Trainer is upset. Trainer needs sleep. Trainer not dying. Help is available to those who seek.'
'You agree I should go to Vixen? You think she can help me eat again?'
Baja chuffs and nuzzles her head in my neck. I bring my hands up and tangle them in her fur. Baja purrs at this.
"If trainer believes he is sick, he is sick. If Trainer believes he is not, he is not. If Trainer believes he can eat, he can eat. Mind trains body but body cannot train mind.'
'I can eat but my body is stopping me and I don't understand why. It's refusing to be trained Baja.'
'Body must be trained. Body cannot refuse mind. Trainer's body being trained by other mind if not Trainer's mind.'
—
I didn't get much sleep that night. Baja's thoughts were waving through my mind. I had to admit, her words of my body 'being trained' by someone else frightened me but had me thinking nonetheless. I couldn't help but point to Max. The time I vomited the black substance up for the first time made me skeptical. Although I've been suffering with not holding down my meals for a while now. Long before Max visited me that night. It all seemed to start in the dungeons.
None of it made sense. It had to be Max's doing. It was easier to blame him for doing this to me than coming to this...reality that I'm actually sick. From what I didn't know and that kills me. It couldn't be Max because none of it made sense. I was sick before he visited me and the longer I went without doing something about it, the worse I've gotten.
I needed to see Vixen but I didn't want the others to know. Raen probably thought he was going to come with me but...I don't want him to know about this. I want to see if whatever this is may be curable. At least then I wouldn't have worried him or the others with this. That's the last thing I wanted to do.
If it turns out that what I have is incurable...no. I'm not going down that road. I can't afford to think like that.
I'm a fighter. I've always been a fighter throughout my entire life. I'm not letting this get to me. I've been through too much shit to suddenly get sick and die. I've died before. Multiple times and if it comes to it, Vixen can just bring me back right? Simple.
I walked down the slightly dark hallway alone with nothing but my thoughts as comfort-although they weren't comforting one bit. It was earlier than usual, before the sun. I had crept out of my room without Raen noticing thankfully. He was still asleep, sleeping peacefully beside me although I couldn't tell you for sure his mind wasn't plagued with troubles. This was why I didn't want him to know. This is something I wanted to figure out on my own.
When I finally came to a halt beside a wooden door, I took in a breath and turned to it. I raised a shaky fist up to knock but when the door swings open I gulp and bring my hand down to my side as I bite my lip. Avoiding the sympathetic smile Vixen sends me. She says nothing as she side steps for me to come in and I do so.
She knew I was coming to talk to her.
"You probably know why I'm here right?"
I can here her sigh from behind me.
"Have a seat Keylin." She says quietly and my eyes fall on the rustic green sofa with multicoloured pillows and wool patterned blankets scattered all over it. I turn around as I sit down, catching her pulling over a chair from a nearby desk to place and sit in front of me. It's only when I notice her reach forward and take my hands in hers that I let out a breath. Face falling.
"You can't help me can you?" I question. Looking up at her with glassy eyes and she frowns at me sadly. Taking in a breath as she squeezes my hands.
"Honey, you should know that I've seen the future and trust me when I say you're in it. It's rocky but...it's there. You're there."
"How long have I got?" I question quietly looking down. "Is it long?"
"It's never long enough baby." She whispers and I take in a shaky breath. Taking my hands away to look up at her.
"What's wrong with me?" I question her pleadingly. "Why can't I eat? I'm starting to puke blood and I'm worried it's just going to get worse from here."
"It's only going to get worse if you don't get help Keylin-"
"That's why I'm here." I cut her off in agitation. "Tell me please that you can help me."
"I cannot." She sighs bringing a hand up to my shoulder and squeezing it.
"I'm not the one that can help you Keylin and a part of you knows this. I may be gifted but I don't take my powers for granted. I only use them when I need to and I don't need to use them for this."
"You...You're going to just..let me die?" I question in hurt and confusion.
"After everything?" I question with a scoff and turn my head away from her. "Why even bother bringing me back before? It seems like you've wasted your magic on me."
"Keylin." She pleads bringing her fingers up to my cheek and she pulls me back to look at her. She looks hurt but it's nothing compared to how I feel. She gets to live the rest of her life.
"I don't want to leave them." I whisper out as a tear trickles down my cheek. "My father, grandfather, friends...Raen...please Vixen. I'm begging you. I can't leave them. I don't want to see their faces when I tell them I'm dying from some unknown problem. I can't bare to let them know."
"I'm sorry Keylin." She breaths out, her thumb caressing my cheek. "I have a part to play and it's not with you, I'm leaving this to someone else."
"W-Who?" I question. Trying to stop the hope from setting in but it's useless.
"They'll know what's wrong if you tell them everything Keylin. He is very good with these conditions surprisingly. He is practically a doctor-"
"For God's sake Vixen. Who can help me?!"
—
"Where did you go this morning?"
I look up as I shut the door, swallowing my anxiety.
Whoever would have thought by pushing the closest to me away...I was pushing away my chances of living. Throughout my fears and anxiety, I couldn't help but admire him. I admired him anyways but this was something that not many had the knowledge of. He didn't even have qualifications as a doctor because he didn't need them. He picked it up easily because of his father. Watching him as a boy and learning by seeing. He was incredible and he was standing right in front of me with concerned eyes as he made his way closer to me.
"Baby?" He questions as he reaches forward to take my hand and I blink out of my daze. Looking up at him as the feeling of my stomach rolling begins to set in.
"Where did you go?" He whispers out in confusion and I swallow the lump in my throat. Vixens words ringing in my mind to just tell him everything. No matter how hurt he is. He will understand and because of this. We will both get over this barrier that settled between us.
"V-Vixen." I clear my throat and he blinks down at me in confusion. "I-I was with her and she t-told me to t-tell..."
"Hey.." Raen whispers as I bring a hand up to scratch my temple. My lips pressed tightly together as I try to prevent them from wobbling but it's useless and he notices this. My ear tips and face going red from holding in the tears. I look away from him and blink repeatedly taking in a shaky breath while Raen wastes no time in bringing a hand up to run through the back of my hair and gingerly pulling me into his chest.
"What's wrong Key?" He questions as I bring my shaking hands up to his shoulders. My head burying in his neck and I sniffle.
"You're making me cry seeing you like this baby." He chuckles quietly and I can feel something wet fall into my hair. His arms tighten around me.
"Please just tell me."
"I-I'm sorry." I say into his neck. "I just don't want to worry you but Vixen...she told me to tell you everything. I don't know why it's so hard."
"Why did you feel like you needed to go to Vixen? I thought we were going today to see her?" He questions before pulling away to look down at me.
"Did she help you?"
"J-Just hear me out o-okay?" I whisper bringing my hand up to rest on his cheek. He frowns down at me in worry but nods either way.
"I-I've been lying to you." I bite my lip looking down but he immediately brings his fingers up under my chin to make me look at him. His gaze intense as he stares down at me.
"I don't have my appetite back. It was never coming back. It's only getting worse Raen. I constantly feel sick. I'm weak all of the time. I feel worse when I don't eat but when I eat it's painful because it feels like my stomach is being stretched, it's uncomfortable." I stop to swallow. Head starting to spin. Raen notices this and scans my face. Noticing how pale I was. Dark under-eye circles and a light layer of sweat beginning to form.
"I-It hurts. So much..." I bring my hands down to massage my stomach as the familiar twisting begins. This time however, I can feel a copper taste in my mouth quickly forming and I stumble out of Raen's grip to the bathroom.
"K-Key-"
I don't hear what he says as I kneel down and spit the blood and bile into the bathroom. Whimpering as I wretch into the toilet bowl. Nothing coming up apart from stomach acid and dark brown blood substance. I suddenly feel faint and I don't have the strength to push myself up.
"Keylin!" I can hear Raen shout before hands are coming around me and helping me kneel against the toilet bowl from where I was slipping to the floor. I let my head hang in exhaustion as I spit lazily.
Raen is quickly bringing a finger however to the side of my mouth, I notice him bring it away and look at the dark substance coating his finger. Tears now falling from his eyes as he splits his gaze between me and his finger in horror.
"Oh Keylin..." He whispers to himself and I whimper.
"I'm dying." I state hoarsely and Raen's head immediately moves up from his finger and he looks to me. Eyes hardening but growing dark with sadness.
"Vixen..she can't help...she said if I...don't tell you...it will get worse-" I whimper as I clutch my stomach, bringing my head down to rest on the toilet bowl in exhaustion.
Raen brings a hand up, brushing a hand over my hair to place on my forehead as he checks my temperature and I blink up at him lazily.
"She's not wrong." He sighs out and takes his hand from my forehead.
"Lucien is back in the Dry Lands. He'd know how to treat this Keylin. I trust him with everything when it comes to things like this. I-I don't know what to do-"
I bring my hand up over his where he rests it on the toilet seat and I take in a breath, blinking up at him with red rimmed eyes.
"I don't need Lucien, I need you." I whimper out. "Vixen said, you could help me. If you can't I suffer for however long more it takes before I give in." I swallow before bringing my other arm up to use as leverage on the toilet seat and sit back against the wall. Panting as I look at him.
"I don't have long left."
Raen takes in a shaky breath before nodding with his eyes closed.
"W-What do you want me to do?" He questions shakily and I smile weekly up at him.
"Find out what is killing me."
"You make it sound so simple." He whispers out with a sad smile as he shifts to sit in front of me. Resting one elbow on the toilet bowl where he uses his hand to run over his face tiredly. He looked stressed with his red eyes that looked over my form. I smile lazily up at him.
"To you...it is." I state and he stares at me.
"You were the one that assured me my bruises weren't sprained because you checked them to make sure just by feeling. You were the one that knew exactly what was wrong with my ankle when Luis, who is training to be a doctor got it wrong. You made me walk again Raen. I know you're not a doctor, but your father was wasn't he? You watched him as a child because he amazed you." I stop and smile at him assuringly as he wipes his eyes that had started to water again.
"I know that...when you saw the blood. A million things were going through your head. Most of them trying to figure out what was wrong with me."
"You know me well." He sighs out as he brings his sad eyes up to look at me and I smile warmly at that.
"Because I love you."
At that, a look crosses his face and his jaw hardens in determination. He moves forward close before he is kneeling in front of me. Swallowing and wiping his eyes quickly, he pulls my shirt up and moves his hands over my stomach looking down at me.
"Tell me where it hurts most."
I nod and take a breath as I look down at his hands pressing down hard on certain areas before coming to poke spots near my side.
I cry out suddenly when he presses down on a certain sudden area. The pressure squeezing and causing a burning sensation in my stomach. I clutch his hands.
"T-There." I grit out and he sighs. Probably worrying in case it was going to be a lot more difficult than squeezing and touching. He kisses my forehead.
"Ok." He whispers out. "We can work from here. It hurts when I press down?" He questions softly as he lightly begins to press down above my belly button and I whimper.
"What is the pain out of ten Keylin?" He questions.
"Eight.." I whimper and he nods at that, biting his lip. "What do you think it is?"
"I don't think we have the resources to do a biopsy so what I think may not be correct but it's what's sticking out in my mind." He sighs before pulling his hands back.
"It's in the area connecting your intestines to your stomach. I think it could be a lump or tear that isn't allowing food to digest properly so because of that, too much acid builds in the stomach to try and break down the food. Your nerves and anxiety don't help so you end up puking. This isn't the cause but it doesn't help your condition."
"A lump?" I question up at him and he hesitates before nodding.
"Like an ulcer. Usually occurs because of a bad diet, alcohol, smoking and in most cases infection." He frowns down at me. "H. Pylori is a bacteria infection and is most common with peptic ulcers."
"You think that's what it is?" I question and he bites his lip. Bringing his fingers back to poking.
"It could be gastric which is inside the stomach lining or duodenum which is on the inside of the small intestine. I don't think it's duodenum because the pain is more towards the middle of the stomach, just over the connection between intestine and stomach. Do you think the pain is internal or external?"
"I.." I look up at him in slight confusion. He was so smart and I knew I could trust him with this. He seemed like he knew what he was talking about and it assured me nonetheless.
"Internal." I state and he sighs at that.
"That narrows it down to gastric and peptic ulcers. When did you start experiencing the pain?"
"In the dungeons." I state and he looks up at me with furrowed brows as he thinks it over.
"Was it dirty there? The food they gave you...was it bad or gone off?"
I winced at the memories.
"It wasn't clean." I stated and that's all I said. Refusing to talk more about the conditions. I wouldn't be surprised if I picked up an infection or caught something in there. Something could have gotten into my bloodstream from there.
"Ok." He whispers and runs a hand over my forehead. Brushing the hair back.
"Usually people with peptic ulcer symptoms don't show and that's extremely dangerous but you show signs. Your blood is dark brown which means it's inside the stomach. You seem to have way more acid than normal. Do you feel faint or lightheaded most times Key?"
He questions as he brings a hand down to cup my cheek.
"Can you describe how you feel for me?"
I nod up at him and he smiles assuringly down at me, his hand coming around my neck to run through my hair.
"Uhm..I feel like I'm about to explode after I eat but I shouldn't because I don't eat that much to feel like that.."
"Bloating." He nods at me before sighing and playing with my baby hairs at my neck. "Go on baby."
"Burning? It uhm hurts all the time and you're right about the bile, I can feel it coming up my throat. The food just sits in my stomach. I don't have a taste for food anymore. The flavours just overwhelm me in a bad way."
"That's the change in your appetite. One of the symptoms of a peptic ulcer along with weight loss, nausea, weak feeling and blood vomiting. The blood vomiting is because of the open sore bleeding due to the mucous layer on the lining of your stomach being eroded by acid." Raen takes in a breath and looks down.
"It's an ulcer. I'm sure of it." He sighs out with his eyes closed and I furrow my brows up at him.
"You've had it since the dungeons due to the bacterium Helicobacter pylori and it's been getting worse.
'Trainer's body being trained by other mind if not Trainer's mind.'
"I-Is it still there? The bacterium, is it alive?" I question worriedly and Raen smiles down at me sadly.
"It's living inside of your mucus line and preventing you from eating. Bacteria's are dangerous things which is why we need to get rid of it as quickly as possible before it does more damage."
I didn't like the thought of a living pest inside me. I felt like my skin was crawling at the thought and I had the sudden urge to get sick again but I held it down. Raen noticed this and moves forward, taking me in his arms.
"The blood is not what I'm worried about." He sighs into my hair. "Now that I know it's an ulcer, the blood is a side effect. I'm more worried about you may having anaemia or needing to have a blood transfusion. I don't think that's an option to us. The infection should be treated more seriously."
"What do I need to do to get better?" I question up at him worriedly and Raen smiles down at me.
"It will be a slow process but it comes down to diet and medication. You need to eat small meals frequently. No red meat because it is tough and creates more acid to break it down. You need as little acid in your stomach. The medicine can help with the pain and reducing the ulcer but it has to be a strict diet Keylin. Fruit, vegetables, lots of protein-" He stops suddenly and smirks down at me.
I notice this and raise a brow up at him. A smile coming on my tired features.
"What?" I question and he chuckles, hands coming around the middle of my back.
"Lots of Omega 3's which include fish, cod liver oil and seaweed is a good source of-"
I groan into his chest and he chuckles. Feeling his lips graze my temple.
"I hope I won't have to force you to eat it this time." He whispers and I sigh, kissing his shoulder.
"I wouldn't say no to you feeding me." I smirk into his neck and he chuckles, bringing a hand up to the back of my neck.
"I wouldn't say no to that either." He sighs and runs his hands through my hair.
"You scared the life out of me Keylin." He whispers. "I thought when you said you were dying that you were speaking the truth. The ulcer doesn't seem so harmless."
"Thank you Raen." I sigh, bringing a hand up to the back of his neck.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the minute I saw the blood. I was afraid and I didn't want you to worry incase it was something horrible. The last thing I wanted was for you to worry about me."
"I worry about you all of the time Key. Even when I don't need to. I never know when something like this could happen and I'm so glad you told me before it got worse."
"I'm sorry for not telling you." I whisper up at him and he smiles, kissing my nose.
"I love you and I'm going to get you better. We're going to get through this, together."
**
7000+ words👀
Hope you guys had a good Halloween. It's now festive season and I can play Michael Buble and Wham now😍😂