Oh, no here we go again
Fighting over what I said
I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry
Bad at love, no, I'm not good at this
But I can't say I'm innocent
Not hardly, but I'm sorry
-Tell Me You Love Me by Demi Lovato
MATURE CONTENT AHEAD
DELILAH
"I'm scared of loving you," I whispered. His gaze softened but he didn't say anything, waiting for me to continue. "When I left, it was different. I always held back after we had Adrian but now that I'm here and I see how amazing everything is, I'm terrified that I'm going to mess it up or that one day something will happen and destroy everything. It took me a while but my heart is so open now, so vulnerable that the thought of ever losing Adrian or you is too much to bear."
"You left for years and we're still here," Liam said.
"I know, I know. It's just... What if I fuck it up again? I can't lose you Liam, and God, I know you deserve better. You deserve someone who isn't afraid of committing, someone that doesn't have this irrational fear of being so open and honest with someone." I closed my eyes, sighing. "I don't want to be scared, Liam. I want to love you like you deserve. I want to be the woman you deserve."
I cleared my throat, finally getting the courage to say what I truly felt.
"I love you too, Liam, so much that it's scary. But I don't want to hold back anymore. You have me, my heart, my body... My soul. And I promise I'll be better at showing it, that's why I'm telling you right now."
Liam looked like he was about to say something but I stopped him by opening my robe and letting it fall to the floor.
"Holy shit," he muttered. His eyes roamed my body with immediate lust and desire. My own reacted quickly, my breathing becoming a bit more heavy. "I kind of don't know whether to react to your words or to the way you look right now so... help me here," he said with the hint of a smile on his face.
I walked up to him and forgetting all my worries as I straddled him.
"I love you, Liam and I trust you with my heart," I murmured, leaning down and kissing him. His hands were on my waist, holding me with such tight grip it almost hurt.
"Are you sure about this Delilah?" He asked quietly. The same vulnerability I felt was present in the question. He was trusting me even when I had failed him. As terrified as I was, I knew he was probably much more scared.
"I'm sure, Liam. I love you with all my heart."
Liam gave me a wide smile that showed me how much those three words meant to him. He held me close for a while while I nuzzled my head in his neck, his arms now wrapped around my body. It was going to take so much effort for me bring down these barriers that I had built for no apparent reason, but I wanted to, for us.
I looked at him with a small smile of my own and placed a small kiss on his lips. His eyes traveled down my body once again, making me gasp when I felt him twitch beneath me.
"You look hot," he murmured.
"Yeah?"
"Hell yeah," he smirked. "You never wore anything like this before," he said, playing with the strap of the negligee. "I like it."
"Only for you," was my breathless reply. His eyes darkened even more at the meaning of my words.
My eyes widened slightly when his fingers went up to my collarbone, then to my neck, leaving a trail of fire behind. He looked like he was memorizing my reaction to him, his eyes stuck on my face as his finger lowered to the swell of my breasts. He cupped them over the thin material, running his thumb over the already hard nipples.
"Liam..." I breathed.
"Promise things will be different, Delilah," he said and though he was still teasing me, I noted the insecurity behind his words. "I can't do this whole 'I love you, I want to be with you but I don't' shit anymore. It's tiring, it's frustrating. And we can't just have sex anymore, Delilah. It's either we are one thousand percent on the same page or we leave things as they are, not only for Adrian's sake but for my own sanity."
"One million percent, Liam. I promise, no more back and forth but it's-" Liam interrupted me by trailing my neck again with his fingers. I shivered. "It's going to take me some time to get out of this habit," I said quietly.
"As long as I see you're actually trying," he replied.
"I am, I will," I reassured him. "I promise, Liam."
Liam studied my face for a moment before bringing my face down to his and kissing me, this time with no reserves. A soft moan left my lips at the contact, but when his hand went down between my legs, I broke the kiss, throwing my head back while he began running his fingers over the thong.
My fingers dug into his shoulders when he moved the piece of cloth aside, his fingers sliding inside of me without much warning. He watched me mesmerized and the rawness there brought tears to my eyes.
"I'm sorry... I keep hurting you," I breathed.
Liam brought his free hand to my neck, our gazes locked on each other. "It's not meant to be easy, Delilah. But that's the crazy thing about love... I trust you and believe in us even though I should probably run the other way."
I whimpered, although I wasn't if it was due to his words or the building pleasure. Reaching down between us, I found his stiff member. A sharp hiss left Liam's lips when I reached inside his boxers, holding him tight in my hand.
Lustful and sure of what I was doing, I began sliding my hand up and down his shaft feeling how he twitched in my hold. With his hand between my legs and a nipple in his mouth, Liam and I teased each other, driving us to the edge of insanity.
"I love you," he murmured before latching into the other. I knew I was about to shatter in his arms when those words left his lips. With the perfect curling of his fingers, I moaned his name, surrendering to him and to his touch.
I kissed him as soon as I was able to, hoping he would know exactly how I felt about him. Maybe I wasn't able to tell him all the time how I felt about him, the next best thing was to show him. "I love you too," I whispered, still holding him in my hand. I felt him smile against my lips until I squeezed, and he let out a groan.
Not sure that I would be able to, I pulled on his boxers, making him smirk at my impatience. I removed my thong while I waited for him to do the same and when he didn't, my chest tightened.
"Please, Liam," I begged.
He obliged, forcing them down as well as the straps of what I wore, the clothing pooling at my waist. Having our most intimate parts touch while we kissed was heavenly; just a warning of what was to come.
This time was different. I promised him it would be, and I promised myself that I was going to be the woman to be there for Liam; the woman that would love him unconditionally.
"Look at me," he ordered in a hoarse voice while he held my waist, bringing me down onto him. I did as he said, letting him set the pace, but when the tip of him was inside me, all thoughts of control were gone. He thrust his hips up, filling me up completely. I didn't dare stop looking at him, not even when I began moving against him, hoping to give him as much pleasure as he was causing me.
There was no hurry even with the ways our bodies moved, eager to reach that blissful goal. My whimpers seemed to stir him on; his hand going up to play with my breasts while I moved, not breaking eye contact. With emotions running high, I noticed every part of him; his muscles flexing with the struggle of remaining in control or the way that he grunted when he hits the spot that drove both of us insane.
More than anything though, I didn't miss the way his eyes silently pleaded with me not to hurt him again, to love him back as much as he loved me. It melted me; chipping at the walls surrounding my heart.
When his hips began thrusting up, matching my rhythm I gave into him, no longer trying to hold on. I came undone once again, muscles tightening around him, holding him in a vice-grip waiting for him to also release.
He did.
My eyes stayed glued on his handsome face, creased in pleasure, lips slightly parted as he let go with a shudder.
"Liam," I murmured, bringing my lips to his jaw, kissing him despite the stubble there. "I love you, Liam, so much and I'm a coward for not saying it earlier and selfish for not showing it."
I felt him swallow, but he didn't say anything. The only sign that he heard what I said was the way he pressed a soft kiss on my head. We stayed that way for a while, his hands running up and down my back while we process everything that's happened.
Liam tilted my chin up, his lips tilting up before he pressed them against mine. Warm, soft and loving. It took me a while to realize what he was doing, but I understood it was his silent way of thanking me, of letting me know that he loves me even with all of the pain I've caused.
"I'll talk to Carissa," he murmured when we broke off the kiss. "I'll let her know that it's best for us to stop talking at least until you're comfortable with it and if you're not, then that's it. I won't talk to her anymore."
"You would do that?"
"Of course I would, Delilah. Jesus, I would do everything for you. Can't you see that? I always have."
I felt remorse for not seeing it before and still, I was glad I felt bad about it; the remorse would be a reminder that I needed to change.
"I'll talk to Brian, too," I said, running my fingers through his hair. My heart fluttered at the sight of Liam smiling back at me, fingers running through my hair as well.
"I don't mind you having friends, Delilah. It's just- He doesn't want to be just your friend so I get how you feel about Carissa. We need to focus on just us for now."
"I agree."
Once again we were quiet, savoring the moment of being in each others arms. He was giving me everything without holding back, he deserved that I put in the same effort. I had been so unfair; only taking from him but never giving myself completely. I didn't want to do it anymore.
I felt Liam shifting, somehow managing to lie down and turning to his side with our bodies still connected. I giggled when he nuzzled my neck, making me feel ticklish.
"Mmm, I just love having you like this," he mumbled sleepily against my neck.
"Me too," I whispered.
It wasn't long before his breathing evened out and he fell into a deep sleep. He drove for several hours and then we'd spent a large part of the day on our feet so I understood that he was tired. Every time I would shift, his hold on me would tighten. He was afraid I would let go, both literally and figuratively.
In the end, our relationship was in my hands only. It all depended on how I handled things from then on; I couldn't mess it up.
For now though, I believed that avoiding any communication with Carissa was the best choice. Liam and I had to mend our broken relationship and that wouldn't be possible when there was doubts on either side. As far as Brian was concerned, I would have to set things straight in order to avoid any problems with Liam.
I had nothing to fear, not with him.
"I love you, Liam," I whispered, pressing a kiss on his chest before also giving into sleep.
*****
A/N: & so the real changes begin.
Do you think they'll finally start settling down?
Thoughts and comments?
Thank you for reading!
-Luz<3
Oh, and for those who need a laugh: Cringy but hilarious