I awoke to the sound of things being moved around in the kitchen and my head throbbing like I had been hit in the head with a baseball bat. I groaned silently as I rolled over in my bed, coming face to face with Blair’s mouth hanging open and drool seeping out.
I shoved her, “Gross!”
She rolled abruptly, leaning up and nearly yelling, “I didn’t steal the banana!”
Did she really just…? I laughed to myself, raising one eyebrow as she came to terms with her outburst. I responded, “The banana?”
She raked her hand through her hair as she shook her head, “Why did you wake me up?”
I shrugged, “I didn’t want you to be arrested for stealing the banana.”
“That’s not funny.”
I smiled, looking at the clock and realizing it was way too early to be up, but I was curious as to who the fuck was making so much noise. I pushed myself out of my bed as I left Blair in my room, knowing whoever was up at 7:00 in the morning making noise needed a good slap in the face.
I walked into the kitchen seeing Shawn, and to my surprise, Megan, sipping coffee at the counter.
Did she really sleep here?
I leaned on the wall, allowing both of their gazes to shift to me as I spoke, “Just a word of advice Megan, it’s not safe to wake me up before noon when I’m hung-over.”
Megan’s light blue eyes stared at me with a hint of annoyance as she looked at Shawn, who then responded. “Actually Sam, I woke you up, and by the looks of it you look pretty fine to attend school.”
I knew he was right, considering the only thing I had was a hint of a headache, but school was the last thing I wanted right now. I raised my eyebrow, “Shawn, let’s not do this in front of your company.”
“You’re going to school.”
I rolled my eyes, standing up straight as I watched Megan’s eyes flicker up my body quickly. I recognized that all too well, and I knew she had just checked me out, and I was glad I didn’t look like shit all of a sudden. I wasn’t wearing a bra either, and my shorts were quite short. So I knew I had given her quite the sight, and what annoyed me was that Shawn hadn’t seen a thing she had done behind his back.
I looked back to Shawn, dismissing Megan’s glance, “No, I’m not,” I then turned on my heels to head back to my room.
Then Megan spoke, “I suggest you get ready because if you miss the assignment today in class your grade will suffer tremendously.”
My skin grew hot at her response, and now Shawn knew the truth about Megan being my teacher. He didn’t say anything back which led me to believe he had already known, and I knew Megan had told him, because I hadn’t.
“Why didn’t you tell me Megan was your teacher, Sam?”
I turned back around, realizing he seemed a bit annoyed with me, “Well, I mean I assumed she would’ve beat me to it considering she’s spending nights here and all.”
“You’ve been in school for three days.”
“Anyways,” I soon wanted to desperately change the subject and escape, “I’ll be getting dressed in my room.”
Shawn spoke, “That’s what I thought.”
I slammed my door behind him as I witness Blair nearly jumping out the bed, “What the fuck?”
“We’re going to school.”
“You’re fucking with me right?”
I pulled out some clothes from my closet and walked into the bathroom, allowing Blair to follow me. I responded, “Shawn’s forcing me to go to school and I’m pretty sure Megan threatened to fail me if I didn’t.”
“She can’t really do that can she?”
“Listen, I don’t want to be a five year graduate, much less a sixth. She told me today was important. And if I have to go to school, then you do too.”
I tugged off my shirt and watched as Blair’s mouth hang open in shock, “You’re trying to kill me aren’t you?”
I threw off the rest of my clothes and stepped into the shower, ordering, “Find some clothes cause you need to shower after me.”
I just really couldn’t believe Shawn and Megan were tag-teaming me like this, making me go to school with only four hours of sleep. I was going to die and most likely sleep through all of my classes, including Megan’s.
School seemed nearly impossible right now.
I scrubbed my hair vigorously, knowing I smelt of cigarette smoke as I began to rinse my body off. I closed my eyes, feeling the growing headache in my skull as the tiredness threatened to paralyze me in the shower.
I forced myself out, wrapping myself in the towel as I stepped into my room, seeing Blair passed out on my bed.
I rolled my eyes, grabbing her leg and tugging her out of the bed and onto the floor, “Go shower dammit, you smell like a hooker.”
She stood, looking at me as she yawned, allowing her morning breath to burn through my nostrils. I gagged silently as I followed her into the bathroom, “Oh my God, it smells like something died in there.”
“That’s what you get for doing this to me.”
I brushed my teeth as she undressed, watching her lazily step into the shower as I came to terms with the fact that I had just watched her get in the shower. I was gay, yes, and I distanced myself from people, but I had just watched my best friend get into the shower.
There was something wrong with me.
I walked back out into the kitchen, seeing only Megan this time as she stepped away from the coffee pot that was currently brewing. She crossed her arms as she looked at me, giving me time to speak, “You know, pulling what you did this morning was unfair.”
She shrugged, “Life’s unfair. Besides, you should’ve thought about your choice of words last night when you decided to be a complete bitch to your teacher.”
I squinted my eyes, “You weren’t my teacher last night, you were my brother’s nosy girlfriend.”
She took a couple steps towards me, allowing me to take in her dress attire which complimented her figure. Her tight jeans and boots made her stand slightly taller than me, and her button down shirt teased me just enough to make me want to undo them.
“I’m not his girlfriend.”
I raised my eyebrows, attempting to keep my eyes off of her chest as she stepped slightly closer to me. I knew she was trying to intimidate me, or seduce me, or confuse me, but right now I was holding my guard up, and she wasn’t going to win.
“So what, he’s your sugar daddy or something?”
She tilted her head, “I can make your senior year hell, Sam. Remember that.”
I smiled sarcastically, knowing she could, but I could be a hell of a lot worse. “I’ve been through hell, Miss Adams, and I’m pretty sure you’ve met your match.”
I watched something in her gaze change, as if I had confused her with my response, which was something I wanted. I realized we were kind of close too, and then she reached for her bag, slinging it over her shoulder, “Don’t be late for class. And lock up when you leave, Shawn’s left already.”
She slammed the door behind her then, and I instantly realized how hard my heart was beating. I sighed heavily, realizing how angry she had gotten me at 7:30 in the morning.
“What the fuck was that?”
I turned suddenly, seeing Blair at the doorway, “What the hell Blair?”
“Dude, you have some weird ass tension between you two.”
I rolled my eyes, pouring coffee as I ignored her comment, “Do you want some coffee?”
“No, but I do want to know if you want to slap Megan, or fuck her. The last line was killer though, I have to admit. You really got under her skin.”
I sipped on my coffee, smirking into my cup, “It did, didn’t it.”
“I think this year’s going to be quite interesting.”
~ ~ ~ ~
I walked slowly through the hallway, having quite a bit of mixed feelings about going to Megan’s class. This morning had been weird, but it was interesting, and knowing that she was a challenge only made her more intriguing.
She was trying to figure me out while I was trying to figure out how to piss her off.
She was actually kind of cute when she was mad.
I rounded the corner, seeing her immediately as she rested against her door talking with another teacher on the opposite side. I desperately wished she wasn’t involved with my brother because it was nearly impossible to keep my eyes off of her.
She hadn’t noticed me yet, which I was grateful for because our little conversation we had this morning was still lingering in my mind. What could she possibly do to make my life hell? I mean she was my teacher, sure, but she really couldn’t do anything that harsh.
Because I could do the same thing to her whenever she came around my house.
Then before I could sneak into her classroom she turned, her icy blue eyes taking me in immediately. I could tell she wanted to get the first word in but I refused her, “Morning Miss Adams.”
“Morning Samantha.”
I cringed, and suddenly I felt rage build up inside my stomach because I knew she did that just to piss me off.
And it worked.
I turned to her, ready to retort when she immediately cut me off, “I suggest you save your snide remarks for later. You’re in my class now.”
I held my mouth shut, mostly because my eyes were too busy engulfing her mesmerizing figure. She was smartass, and most likely a bitch, but goddamn she was entirely too fine for me to even think about disrespecting her in front of her class.
She was sort of like me, in a way.
I turned on my heels and headed straight to my desk, knowing that today was going to be dreadful, especially if we had a big assignment. I was worn out and exhausted, and I was still pissed off at Megan for threatening me this morning if I missed her class.
Megan took her usual place at the podium and I watched her dark brown hair fall over her shoulders as she leaned forward. Then her eyes caught mine and she smiled, but it was a sarcastic smile that made anger flare up inside of me.
“We’re doing vocabulary today for chapters two and three, it’s due at the end of class for twenty points.”
What?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I watched Megan strut quite coolly to her desk as I felt the flame that had been in my stomach grow and totally engulf my body. I was furious. She had forced me to come to school to work on twenty fucking vocabulary words that were worth twenty points? Something I could simply steal from somebody else?!
I stood then, my anger was taking me over completely, but I knew I had to keep myself in control. This was Shawn’s girlfriend that was trying to ruin my life, but right now she was my teacher, and I had to play the part.
I leaned forward, bringing my face close to hers, “What game are you trying to play?”
“I’m doing my job Samantha. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Stop calling me Samantha.”
“Why?”
I was losing my patience with this girl, and I knew it wouldn’t be long till I would snap. No one had the balls to test my patience, no one except her.
I responded, “Because I like Sam, just call me Sam.”
She leaned forward, whispering smoothly, “Go to your desk, Samantha.”
I couldn’t help it then whenever my guard snapped in half, bringing me to my breaking point. This time I begged, “Please, just please stop calling me that.”
I hadn’t meant to sound so fragile and weak, but it was driving me crazy and I wanted her to stop. Her blue eyes took me in then, and I could tell my response had really hit a nerve in her.
She spoke softly, “Ok.”
I clenched my jaw, refusing to let her see me vulnerable more than she already had as I sat at my desk and put my head in my arms. Why had I begged her? Why had I let her win this argument? Why had I broken down so fast whenever I was so used to being in control?
I closed my eyes, feeling the pain of my past overtake my mind as sleep threatened to take over my body. I was so exhausted I could probably fall asleep right here, which didn’t sound like a bad idea at the moment. I didn’t give a fuck about vocabulary, Megan, or history, so why not take a little nap? Megan wasn’t going to bother me any longer, so I would be at peace.
I began breathing softer, and I soon felt sleep overtaking me as I made myself comfortable, letting the sound of kids voices disappear.
Then I was asleep.
“I mean, can you at least try to give him a chance?”
I rolled my eyes at my mother, feeling her incompetence infuriate me by the second. I stood from the table shaking my head, “No, I really can’t. Wanna know why, mom? Because I’m gay ok, I like girls, just try to accept that.”
“I can’t accept something like that. It’s just not natural Samantha. It’s… disgusting!”
I looked at my mom, knowing I would soon have to leave because I didn’t want to continue fighting over this. We did this way too often and today I wasn’t feeling up to an argument.
“It’s not natural? Then what’s natural to you mom?”
“A man and a woman; like me and your father.”
This time I couldn’t help but laugh out loud as I tried to stop it but failed, “You and dad? Mom, you and dad are a façade, living in your own lies and trying to pass it off as if you two are happily in love. You two hate each other. How is that natural?”
I could tell I was getting under her skin but suddenly I didn’t care about the consequences anymore. She started this conversation, and I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of making me feel small again.
She stepped closer to me but I stood my ground, not wanting her to think I was afraid of her.
“We’re going through a rough time.”
I rolled my eyes, “A rough time? He goes out drinking almost every night to get away from you! Alcohol is his only escape!”
I watched a nerve snap in my mom’s eyes and instantly I knew I had gone too far. Her hand raised, and she delivered a swift slap to my cheek as I stumbled backwards slightly. I held my balance though as she charged at me, allowing me to catch her hands and hold them away from me.
She spit, “You’re nothing but a useless piece of shit Samantha.”
I let her words cut through me like a knife as I held her away from me, hoping that she would give up soon. I knew if she continued to hit on me she would hurt me because I wasn’t going to hit her back.
She was still my mom.
Then she shoved me hard, and I stumbled backwards into the glass coffee table, shattering it instantly as I felt glass penetrate my arms and back.
I looked up into the eyes of my rage-induced mother, knowing she wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. She walked towards me ready to strike again, and I felt the burning of gashes and blood seeping down my arm bringing me back to reality.
I held up my hands, “Please stop! Please! Mom-“
I gasped awake, “Please stop!”
My eyes were open wide, allowing me to take in the thirty pairs of eyes that were watching me, almost with amusement.
Had I said everything out loud?
I glanced at Megan, seeing her pair of eyes searching me as if I was really wounded. I lightly touched the back of my arm where the scars started on my body, and would continue over my back. The scars were a reminder of that night, and how there was no escape from my past no matter how far away I ran from my old house.
I picked up my booksack then, slinging it over my back as I exited the room, knowing I could no longer stay there. All those kids, including Megan, heard me pleading, but they just thought it was funny. They knew nothing about me, and they didn’t care anyway, which was fine with me because the last thing I wanted to do was share my history with them.
I raced to the parking lot, jumping into my car and revving it up. I peeled out, attempting to leave all of the embarrassment and humiliation behind me as I raced down the road towards my house.
The only thing that I could remember was Megan’s eyes that were so focused on me, and I prayed that no one, including her, would remember that by tomorrow.
~ ~ ~ ~
“Do we really have to go to that party? I feel like the only reason we’re being invited is because you have connections.”
I shrugged, pulling up my jean shorts as I buttoned them, “Technically, the only reason you’re coming is because you’re with me. I was being invited no matter what.”
Blair gave me an unapprovingly harsh look as we continued getting ready, knowing we would leave soon if we wanted to deliver what we were required too.
Blair threw me my keys as I caught them, allowing me to dismiss ourselves, “Well, let’s go.”
I exited my room, seeing Shawn sitting at the couch flipping through the stations as he glanced up at us. He sighed, “Be careful tonight Sam.”
I leaned against the wall, curious as to what his plans were going to be, “What, no date tonight with Megan?”
He looked at me oddly, tilting his head, “She’s actually coming over in a bit, why?”
This caught me off guard, and I could hear Blair’s silent squeal of excitement at the news. She nudged me as I responded, “Just curious, I guess I won’t come home tonight.”
He rolled his eyes, “Sam, it’s not like that.”
I shrugged, “Just checking, I don’t want to walk in on you and Megan getting it on-”
“I said it’s not like that, now leave before I deliberately lock you out.”
I held up my hands in defeat, “Fine, I’ll be home later.”
Blair and I made our way to the door, letting ourselves out and to the garage as I hopped into my car and cranked it up, hearing the radio blare rock as I smiled.
This feeling never got old.
I stayed silent, wondering why I had asked if Megan was coming around. I mean, I should’ve figured right? She practically lived here, which oddly enough I was okay with considering she was fun to look at, but why was I looking forward to seeing her?
It really was all too much, so I pushed it to the back of my mind.
Blair sighed, “Megan’s coming over. I’m pretty sure it won’t be long till she moves in.”
I responded, “It’s only been a week since she’s been around.”
“What will you do if she moves in?”
“I’m going to watch her sleep, and whenever she gets out the shower I’m gonna collect her hair and keep it in a box.”
Blair’s wide green eyes looked at me in horror, as if she actually believed everything I was saying. She whispered, “Geez.”
I rolled my eyes, “Blair I’m kidding, but seriously, she’s not moving in.”
“I don’t think that’s your choice considering its Shawn’s apartment.”
I shrugged, “They both claim they’re not together, so why would Megan move in?”
Blair sighed heavily, leaning on the window of my car, “Look, it just takes one time, and then Megan will get knocked up and Shawn will have to marry her-”
“Apparently they’re not having sex either, so that can’t happen.”
I had interrupted her, and knowing Blair she was probably happy that Shawn wasn’t having sex with Megan. And I, well, I was kind of grateful Shawn hadn’t touched Megan either.
But for different reasons.
I pulled up to the party, seeing kids outside smoking and drinking, looking lame as ever. I rolled my eyes, “This party looks lame.”
“This was your idea.”
I got out the car, locking it and feeling the large lump of green in my back pocket. I had gotten the money this week from that girl, whom I didn’t know her name, but I charged a delivery fee as well.
Either cash, gas, or ass, whichever sufficed for me.
Blair followed me through the house as I looked for the girl I had spoken to in science class, and having no luck finding her. This was her party right? Shouldn’t she be like, supervising the keg or something?
I pushed my way through the crowd, feeling people run into me and smelling the alcohol, knowing I would need a drink soon.
High school kids, I swear.
Finally I saw her on the porch with one of her other friends, sipping on a wine cooler as I stepped up to her. She actually looked pretty good, with her light brown hair in big curls, and her outfit was… something.
It actually consisted of almost nothing, but it was nice to look at.
Her eyes caught me and she smiled, excusing herself from her previous conversation to come up to me. Her hand touched my hip slightly, “Sam, I was thinking you had bailed.”
I smirked, “I don’t bail,” I handed her the stash I had in my back pocket, along with rolling paper as I continued. “But I do charge a delivery fee.”
I peered into her light eyes that seemed to be taking me in, which was always a good sign. She leaned forward, whispering, “What are my options of payment?”
I could feel myself growing hot, already knowing where this night was about to head, and I was in desperate need of a release. I let my palm travel up her neck as I pulled her ear close to my lips, “Cash, gas,” and then I let my other hand travel over her hip and to her ass, allowing her to understand her third option.
I could feel her smile into my hand as she looked up at me, “Follow me.”
And so I did, upstairs and to her bedroom, where I would hopefully forget about the thoughts of Megan that were constantly lingering in my head.