Okay... So hey readers, sorry for the really late update (three weeks), but I kind of stole my brother's laptop to rewrite the chapter.... Ha ha ha.... Just, enjoy the chapter.
-R
He stops for a moment, not looking at me, nor speaking to me. He seems as if he's out venturing through the past, and I find myself regretting my words. Is he going to start yelling at me?
I should have kept my mouth shut.
It is a known fact that whenever I try helping or comforting somebody, I make it a thousand of times worse. I think it's one of the reasons why everybody leaves me all the time.
I am snapped out of my self depressing thoughts when Jesse finally finds the strength to speak. "I'll be fine."
In all but a second, I am left alone in the car. Surprised.
I let out a long sigh and finally open the door, grabbing his arm to bring him the right way. From the way things were looking, he was heading towards the neighbors house, and not my own - Sorry, my old house.
If I was in a book right now, I bet that the author would make me fight the urge to laugh, but I'm not just some make believe character where every little problem of mine is going to magically disappear.
I won't have a loving mother and father who will welcome me back with open arms, I won't have James come and protect me from all that is bad, and I won't have Jesse begging on his knees for me.
Sometimes, I wish for a happy ending. On the outside, I am this rebellious bad girl with an attitude problem, but on the inside I'm just numb.
I'm weak. And it kills me.
I mentally pull myself out of my thoughts to avoid tripping as Jesse and I walk up the steps leading to the front door. I reach out my arm and press the doorbell, listening to the familiar sounds of annoying.
And welcome back attitude, I hope you enjoyed your vacation.
It doesn't take long before I see my moms' famous scowl plastered on her face.
In a way, it didn't surprise me. My mom was never a very caring mother.
I mean, I guess when we were little she would spend time with us, but... I don't know. I guess that I never felt like she actually wanted to be here. That was before James left. Before I thought James left.
"Hello Jessica." She says.
"Hello mother." I some-what growl.
"I suppose you and your boy toy are here to know why we did all that we did, am I wrong?" She taunts and I feel Jesse stiffen up beside me.
I only nod.
"Well then come in." She says while giving us space to enter into the household of doom.
I let Jesse go in first, only moving when he greets my father.
My dark eyebrow raises in suspicion. Was my father part of all of this?
I think back to all the times when my father would yell at me for being weak and useless, flinching as I remember the times he would raise his fist at me. I wouldn't be surprised is he was part of the gang, but something is telling me that I might be wrong.
I shake my head to get rid of the memories that keep on coming back to me from time to time. I can't believe how I am behaving, I shouldn't be acting like this.
I must prove my mother and father wrong, I am worth something. Something bigger than the gangs and the drugs, and the killing.
I will prove it, right after I fix this feud between gangs.
"Well are you going to move of not?" Skylar asks me, and I move away from her in disgust.
What was my little sister a few weeks ago is now long gone. If she hadn't said anything, I would have never known who she was; her beautiful blond hair is now black, her clothes are much shorter and revealing, and her face is caked on like it's Halloween. The only thing that's normal is her nasally voice when she decides to act like a pain.
"Hello Skylar, nice to see you haven't become one of them." I say, disgust clear in my tone.
She scoffs and moves away, heading towards the stairs. "James get down here, your sister and her boyfriend are here."
I roll my eyes at the term "boyfriend". Please, I think to myself, Jesse and I aren't even friends. It's complicated.
I allow myself to take a glance at the said person, only to find him looking my way. He nods at me, letting me know that he heard the comment, but didn't mind.
I don't know what is going on between the two of us. At first, we hate each other with a passion because of... Title ownership? Then, he hates me because of my family background and he takes me to live with him against my own will. After that, he tells me he's in love with me and he gets angry that I don't remember his good looking face. Finally, we start holding hands and I'm stuck in the middle of the rodeo, not knowing whether I like him or not.
And I'm not even mentioning the fact that I don't know if I should like him or not because of what he did for me.
Fine, I might of liked him when he and I were thirteen, but come on, people change. Heck, I didn't even remember his name up until a few weeks ago.
I think I now know why so many think I am heartless and cruel.
I'm just going to use the blame card here; it's all my parents fault.
"Jessica, hey." My brother says, helping me once again snap out of my overbearing thoughts.
"Hi." I all but snap.
I turn on my heel and try to walk in the direction I saw Jesse and my parents leave, but I am stopped by James as he grips my shoulder, making my stop in my tracks.
"Let go of me." I growl, my controlled mood now inexistent..
"I was just trying to stop you from walking in the wrong direction, but please proceed if you think you know where everything is." He answers.
Is this the right moment to be feeling déjà vu?
I roll my eyes at the thought and turn myself around, pretending to have known this little fact all along.
We walk in silence, no words escaping our mouths, only the faint sounds of footsteps made by our shoes. I don't know what to say to him. All this time, it was clear in my head that James was the good guy, he was my perfect, older twin brother, only to find out a few years later that I couldn't have been more wrong.
It does a lot to a girl who's already so messed up in the head, that she mistakes her dreams for reality.
I turn my head towards James when I feel him once again grab my shoulder. He lets out an annoyed, "We're here."
I don't answer him.
The door opens before I have the chance to touch the doorknob. I look at the door with curiosity until I finally realise that somebody from the inside must have opened the door for us.
I step inside the room and my eyes instantly detect Jesse, giving him a once-over to make sure he is still in one piece. He might be a gang leader, but that doesn't mean my parents aren't.
The first one that speaks is my mother, not that that's surprising. "Well, I'm glad you found the room with no problems." I fight the urge to let out a very lady-like snort.
Instead, I find myself taking up the seat right beside Jesse. My eyes watch everything and anything that doesn't happen to be my parents. I know what is going to come, and I don't feel that I'm ready to look them in the eyes as they tell me how much they wanted to ruin my life for one mistake.
I let out a deep sigh before clearing all emotion from my face and looking up at the two- no three people who decided that it was up to them to destroy so many people, including myself.
Before I know it, my signature fake smile is on my face, daring anybody to point out the fact that it doesn't reach my eyes.
I let myself take a last glance at Jesse before nodding at the people who gave me life, nodding at them to unveil my past that was all a lie.
All a lie.
It takes a couple of seconds before my father decides that he will be taking on the role of storyteller today. "I just want you to know that this is all your fault, Jessica."
A raise an eyebrow, swallowing away a lump from my throat. "Ok."
"You were never a good girl. You had an attitude, you annoyed us, you were never as good as your brother, and you always had to have the attention on yourself. It was sickening."
His glares digs holes into my face and I raise my back straighter, daring him to try and break my missing heart. "Is that all you got? Making fun of me in front of other people? Come on, daddy we both know that won't break me."
"Touché sweetheart, but you can't blame a father for wanting to point out such wonderful qualities in his daughter, can you? You know that-"
"Enough Jerry." My mother says, slamming her fist onto the desk. "Since you obviously can't behave like a grown man and get on with the story without talking about our failure of a daughter, then I will do it myself."
I smirk finds itself on my face, keeping me from showing my only weakness; my feelings. My eyes meet those of my brother's for a moment and I watch as pity fills them as soon as it leaves.
He smirks back at me, and I know.
I know, that even if I promise myself that I hate him now, and that I forever will, I'll be lying.
I know because he's my brother, and he must have a reason for doing these things to me, right?
I look away from him and tune back into my parents arguing."Stop it! If I came here to hear you guys fight, then I would have just opened my phone and gone into the recording section, but since I'm here to know why I can't remember anything, then leave your crap for another time, and tell me why you both hate me so much!"
By the time my little speech is finished, I have four pairs of eyes on me as I fight to catch my breath.
My mother clears her throat and sits back down on her chair that she left at one point in this little meeting of ours. "Ok then, if you want to know the story, then you better get comfortable because this story isn't going to be a short one."
I move around in my seat, searching for a comfy spot before gesturing to my mom to continue with my left hand.
She lets out a sigh and starts the story of my past. "As you know, our family; your father, Skylar, James, you, and myself are the gang leaders of the Mandes'; the most feared gang in all of North America. For the past one hundred years, it has been tradition to teach the children of the Mandes' our secret on their thirteenth birthday. Seeing as your brother and yourself are twins, it was decided by the both of us that the both of you would go through a series of... battles to find the one who would become the next gang leader."
She stops and waits to see if I am still following her, acting as if I am still the little six year old learning to tie her shoes.
I nod and she continues. "Because you are... you, you decided that you weren't going to be part of all of this. Fighting became the only type of conversation in the household and your father and I were forced to use the one type of torturing that would impact you the most; hurt the people whom you cared for."
"But why? Why didn't you just decide to give the gang to James?"
"Because once James heard that you didn't want to be part of the gang, he didn't want it either. When we asked what made him change his mind, he would always answer-"
"She's my twin, and if she doesn't think it's a good idea, then I don't think it is either." James quotes.
She looks at him in surprise before looking back at me. "Yeah, that was the only thing he would ever answer before turning around and going back to you. He always stood by his little sister no matter what she did. Pathetic little things you both were."
Before I can stop myself, the words I have been dying to ask tumble out of my mouth. "Where does Jesse come into this?"
"Oh, well I can answer this one, I was your friend; the son of their enemy." Jesse answers me, speaking for the first time tonight. "And that was- and still is a big no-no in the gang industry. Isn't that right Mrs. Mandes?"
"Yes Jesse, you are in fact very much right, but you're leaving out a big part of the story, aren't you?" She stops, giving Jesse a sickening sweet smile. "We wouldn't want Jessica to leave here with her questions unanswered, now would we?'
He swallows and nods.
"Great! Well let us get on with the story then. Your little Jesse, was also having problems with his gang too. Supposedly, the three of you had all of this planned. And knowing my waste of a daughter, it was just clear to me that it all started with her. A brother who would do anything for her, and a boy so embarrassingly in love with her, were the perfect targets to persuade and use for her own advantage."
The three of us butt in all together, angry. "That's not true."
My mother looks us all in the eye. "Oh but it is my sweethearts. Like your father said, Jessica was always in dire need of attention or she would do something rash without thinking of the consequences. You would agree with me, right James? After all, that is why you decided to join us when we had to punish her, or am I mistaking something for something else?"
I look over to James, waiting to know why he was part of this all, to know why he shot me, to know why he joined mom and dad, and most of all; to know why he left.
"No mother, you are wrong. I thought you said that all of Jessica's questions should be answered. Truthfully." He turns towards me and continues where he left off. "Jessica, I hope you know that I did all of this for you, I did it to protect you."
The room is filled with silence, open for James' voice to fill the air. "I was blackmailed. If I didn't help the Mandes, then they would kill you. Instantly, I agreed to join them, but what they failed to tell me was the fact that they had been torturing you for days, filling your insides with faint doses of a medicine, causing you to slowly forget your life.
This...... Technique was used on all of the traitors part of the gang when they learnt too much. You were one in a bucket filled with hundreds. You were treated like a traitor, so naturally when Jesse and I found out about this we rushed off to help you.
Of course, the both of us were only thirteen, there was only so much we could do. So when we busted down the doors- Well you know the rest."
I nod, a pounding feeling making itself comfortable in my head. "Thank you for filling me in on my life. I'm going to go now."
I get up from my seat and move to open the door, but not before hearing the two words I needed most. "I'm sorry."
I run out of the room and into the car, not looking back to see if Jesse comes with me, not realising the fact that I left him with the people who had him tortured for days on end.
I find the car sitting in the same spot as we left it and I pick up my speed to reach the car as if it were my safe haven.
I bathe in the silence of the car, closing my eyes, trying to understand the whole story from beginning to end.
So I was supposed to be gang leader, but refused. So then why didn't they make Skylar gang leader?
So my brother isn't really against me, he was blackmailed. So then why did he shoot me?
So James didn't really bring Jesse to be tortured, he brought him as back up. So then why did my memory show me otherwise?
Suddenly, a thought comes to mind. Why did Jesse defend my parents when Skylar and I pulled the prank on them?
And if his answer is what I think it might be, then has all of this been planned?
Maybe, just maybe, I was right all along.
I move to open my door, finally realising that I Ieft Jesse, the boy that got tortured by my parent's minions, with my parents. I quicken my pace, practically running to the door, preparing myself for the worst.
My hand is on the doorknob when I hear the one thing I feared most; a gunshot.
Prepare for the worst. Write to you later,
-R
P.S - Don't forget to vote and comment if you liked the chapter.