SORRY FOR THE SUPER LATE UPDATE! i actually got out of school six days ago, but i had massive writer's block and a lack of motivation to do anything. like honestly, i just slept a lot and well, slept. a good thing though is that, 13 days ago, i went to "the night before our stars" which is the day early premiere of the fault in our stars and i really loved it (: shailene woodley and ansel elgort and nat wolff and of course john green are amazing.
also, I LOVE THIS SONG. the vamps never disappoint and + demi? the music video is a favorite of mine and also, the beautiful laura marano is in it (:
btw, anyone watching world cup too? DEMPSEY'S GOAL! (GO US!!!!!!!!) i always want to talk about the games but i realized this isn't score and i can't just keep talking about football/soccer randomally anymore )":
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Selena's POV:
I glance at Harry, seeing his hardened persona slowly crumble, nerves secretly etched in the corners of his face that I have never seen him wear before. He seems lethargic, moving slowly with hesitance and dragging his feet before finally reaching the couch. When we are across from Anne and Gemma, I notice Harry awkwardly standing and I unconsciously sigh before sitting down and nudging him to do the same. Finally seated, Anne opens her mouth to speak and I immediately feel Harry's instinct to wrap his hand around mine, squeezing for some sort of comfort.
"I can't believe you're here, healthy and happy," Anne begins, her voice soft and slightly worn out, as her eyes water.
"I'm not healthy or happy," Harry raises an eyebrow at her, words sputtering out bitterly as if they taste like poison.
Anne bites her lip as if the simple gesture can reverse or take back her previous words whilst Gemma rolls her eyes, frown prominent on her face. The tension in the air is palpable and I feel uncomfortable, even squirmish under the circumstances. I turn to glance around the room, noticing the other boys slowly retreating back to their rooms to avoid any forms of confrontation and I long to do the same.
"I'm going to get a glass of water in the kitchen, if you'll excuse me," I clear my throat and stand up though Harry's grip does not loosen one bit.
"I'll come with you," he grumbles as he slowly comes to his feet to join me but I shove him back down.
"No you won't. You'll stay here and talk. I'm not involved anyway so I might as well just get it myself," I attempt to bargain with him but he makes it clear that my words don't faze his actions.
"If you're leaving, I am too," he raises his eyebrow, silently communicating that there is no arguing about it. I sigh but decide to head to the kitchen anyway with him in toll. I gently close the door behind us as I fold my arms across my chest.
"What?"
"Can't you be nice? That's your flesh and blood out there," I nudge towards where the two women are hidden behind the entrance to the kitchen.
"Yeah, who I haven't seen in like years. Am I even considered family to them?" he scoffs, reaching behind me to get a cup of water as well.
"You guys are always family, no matter what," I frown, running a hand through my hair.
"Why does it bother you so much?" he rolls his eyes, "It's not even your business."
I don't know how to reply to that so I stay silent, sipping my water and averting his gaze. I'm getting tired of his rude behavior and I want out. I guess I care because I feel for Gemma and Anne who I already have grown close to. The fact that Harry won't simply answer questions politely and treat the two girls who have watched over him with respect utterly baffles me. I feel terrible for them for having to deal with this when they should not. Biting my lip, I feel the guilt for promising them closure and reconnections when it seems impossible to achieve.
Pulling out my phone from my back pocket, I send a quick text to Gemma. We had exchanged numbers when we were conversing and stalling time earlier during our tea.
To: Gemma
"I'm sorry. xx"
I hear the beep from the other room through the thin wall, aware that she received the message.
"Hey, talk to me," his voice softens when he notices that I remain quiet, my back towards him.
"I'm not talking to you until you talk them without being an asshole," I roll my eyes and saunter out the kitchen without another word, not even bothering to glance at him.
Harry's POV:
God.
Why is she so damn stubborn? I sigh frustrated at her persistent actions to get me to cave in. The sound of a soft door closing snaps me out of my thoughts, causing me to finally re-enter the damned room and check out who left. Maybe my sister and mum are gone now?
I regret exposing myself again because I am so wrong. Instead, my precious Selena is the one missing from the room and my hands instinctly ball into fists.
"Where's Selena?" I clear my throat in attempt to maintain a slightly calm exposure, afraid of what I might do to them if anger overwhelms me. Mum opens her mouth to reply but shuts it immediately, almost timid to answer me as if she is expectant of a wild, savage response she fears to witness.
Fuck, I scare my own mother so badly.
"She's not coming back," Louis pokes out of nowhere, informing me with a tight expression, looking reluctant to tell me. He seems to have been forced by my other mates who nod in the background. I clench my jaw and begin treading towards the door until Liam blocks the one and only exit.
"Get the fuck out of my way, Liam," I narrow my eyes deadly at him, knowing he, of all people, should not be pushing my buttons.
"She's never coming back until you resolve things with your family," he nods as if he is the one who knows everything about Selena and not, per say, me. This only builds up the fury in me and I almost strike him across the face but Zayn rushes over and grips onto my pulled back arm, not allowing me to move any further.
"You're not making this any better for yourself mate," he speaks softly as my eyes follow his towards Gemma and mum who look absolutely shocked, as if I were a complete stranger to the two of them. I can sit here and try to talk nicely so Selena will come back. I almost want to until I suddenly pause and realize that it's as if she controls me. Lately, I've been doing a lot of weird shit I never would have imagined to do just for her. I'm letting her gain the upper hand between us and the thought that she can almost manipulate me to meet her demands frighten and piss me off alike. I can't believe I gave her that strength. Huffing, I jerk my arm away from Zayn's grasp and grunt lowly before heading to my room and slamming the door shut with as much force as possible.
I'm not letting Selena enter my head and commanding my actions. She's just a girl. Why do I even bother to care about her so much? Hell, she won't even give herself to me and isn't that all I ever want?
Selena's POV:
After grabbing my skateboard once again, I begin riding to my heart's content and the fastest speed possible. I just want to get as far away as possible from Harry. Knowing him, he'd find a way to catch up to me and that is the last thing that needs to happen. No matter how much I want to visit Zac or my dad, I know going there would be like giving myself in, as he would probably check those locations first, now knowing about my past and tendencies to escape. Sighing, I decide to drop by Starbucks and visit Miley and Hayley, maybe even helping them out today despite it not being my work day. I have missed a few days due to Harry's constant kidnappings of me and it only seemed right if I somehow make it up to them.
Once I am greeted by the familiar ring of the bells on top of the door, a waft of freshly grounded coffee hits me and I inhale it happily, glad to be reunited with the heavenly aroma.
"Selena!" Hayley squeals as she wraps her arms around me, her bright hair the only thing in sight.
"Hey," I reply simply, laughing at her enthusiasm to see me as she hums and returns behind the counter.
"How are you, girl?" she leans across on her elbows to get a better view of me.
"I'm okay," I shrug, not wanting to delve into details, "Hey, can I work here today?"
"Sure. Miley's sick so it's just me today. I was going to close the shop up early today, like in about two hours. Do you want that shift?" she offers as I nod. Two hours alone. I can do that.
"Cool. Can you lock up the place too?" she already begins to pull off her apron before I can even reject her proposition.
"Yeah, sure," I giggle at her eagerness to leave.
"Sorry. I got a cute boyfriend waiting at my house and I rather see him sooner than later," she grins cheekily before tossing the pair of keys at me.
"See you, Gomez," she hollers before leaving the whole place to me. After adjusting myself with the uniform, I begin to complete the minimal tasks like refilling the hot water and reorganizing the cabinet. Hayley is a bit of a mess and though it doesn't completely peeve me, it still bothers me to a small extent. A few customers come in and go, ordering small cups of hot tea and iced lattes.
Two hours pass relatively quickly and as I begin to clean up the back, sweeping the floors and closing the bags opened earlier, a sudden chime sounds in the air. I smoothly set aside the broom, leaning it against the back wall before brushing my hands on the front of my apron and heading out to the front once more.
"Can I get a venti white mocha frappuccino with extra java chips?" a boy recites from memory, his head down and his hands already pulling out bills from his wallet.
"Sure," I smile as I pick up the matching cup and begin writing the instructions to myself on the side with black sharpie, "And your name?"
"Tyler," he answers and I glance up the same time he puts his wallet back into the butt pocket of his jeans. Our eyes meet and mine widen at the recognition of the boy who so kindly wanted to save me.
"Selena," his tone mimicks the surprise in my face which suddenly changes into nervous laughter.
"Small world," he continues to chuckle while I shake my head, smiling at the awkwardness between us. I deposit the money he hands over into the cash register and continue writing.
"Yeah, you can say that," I grin as I scribble his name and a doodle before capping the pen and actually working on his order.
"So, Starbucks huh?"
"It suits me," I shrug, "I mean Starbucks is universal. There's one in so many places and it's like the only thing familiar to me. Change is so inevitable in my life and I'm really sick of encountering it. I just want my old life back and this seems to be the only remotely familiar thing and oh gosh, I'm rambling."
"No. Like yeah, I totally understand what you mean," he shoves his hands in his pockets as I slide the drink to him.
"Thanks," he pulls one hand out to take a sip and I nod, whilst wiping down the counters.
"So, you going to be here for late hours?" he looks around at the lack of customers and me cleaning.
"Nah. I'm actually closing up right now," I inform him and he almost chokes on his drink.
"Shit, was I keeping you here? God, I'm so insensitive. Sorry Selena," he feverishly apologizes as I chuckle, brushing him off.
"Don't sweat it dude," I roll my eyes before finishing the last touches and taking off my apron. I didn't wear the usual uniform so my arms are still bare, clad only in my brother's old jersey and shorts.
"Want my jacket?" he drapes it over my shoulders before I can even respond.
"Thanks," I roll my eyes playfully, enjoying the sudden warmth that engulfs me. It smells of vanilla and a sense of coziness as I dig myself deeper into the leather jacket that has a normal sweater hoodie and sleeves.
"You want to hang out?" he sips his drink as I lock the doors up and think about Harry. He clearly does not need me in his life.
"Yeah, sure. I'm in," I smile and soon his expression matches mine.
Harry's POV:
It's been slightly over two hours and I'm still on my bed, thoughts whirling my mind and tiring me out.
"You okay?" Louis mutters as he slips in my door despite knowing how much I hate being disturbed. I sit up groaning as he joins me on the bed.
"I don't know," I reply emotionless, feeling a tightening in my chest due to Selena's disappearance. God, what has she done to me?
"You miss Sel?" he perks up and I suddenly grow a bit defensive.
"Don't call her that," I snap but he shrugs, unfazed by my superior attitude.
"But, do you?" he pressures me until I answer as I sigh loudly and turn away, not wanting him to have access to the side of my face.
"Maybe," I grumble and he scoots closer, tapping me on the shoulder.
"What?" I turn to him a little rudely as he shrugs.
"Just go talk to your mum and Gemma. It won't kill you," I grow angry at his assumption.
"You don't know anything about them, Lou," my lips tighten into a straight line.
"I know they love you and that they're still outside," he repeats what Selena said earlier and I sigh. They're seriously still outside?
"Gemma wanted to leave the minute Selena left, but your mum held her down," he explains, almost reading my mind, "You know, believe it or not, Selena really cares about you. You're definitely somebody to her. I mean, if she didn't give a shit, she would've never searched for them in the first place. She just wants you happy."
"Who knows? Maybe she was planning this escape the whole time," I sneer.
"You heard her past, mate. She's clearly someone who treasures family and you just not embracing the fact that yours is healthy and living is probably like some twisted punch to her face."
And with that, he places his hands on his thighs and pulls himself up before exiting my room, leaving me to ponder over his explanation. It was logical. After glancing at the sun setting outside, I exhale deeply and heavily, my eyes darting to where Louis just left. All right, I'm going in.
Slowly cracking open the door, I notice Gemma looking pissed as hell, her arms folded across her chest, her eyes glaring. I don't say anything, but carefully make my way towards the couch I sat on earlier, still facing them, just alone this time with no comfort by my side.
"Can we just talk, like now?" I mumble as my mum's face lights up and Gemma scoffs. Knowing myself well, I can already feel the urge to yell but this is my sister here and the last thing I need is she somehow telling Selena of my actions and pushing her further away from me.
"Of course, sweetie," mum reaches for my hand and although I want to flinch from her touch as a reflex, I know it's wrong. So, I let her warm palm surround my rough fist.
"You have many cuts and calluses," she comments as I shrug.
"I've been in a lot of fights," I confess with no regret.
"Have you ever been seriously injured?"
"Not to the point that I'm in the hospital," I answer whilst glimpsing into her eyes, feeling relaxed and natural again in her presence.
"Oh darling," she strokes my face, running her fingers over my sharp jaw and hard exterior.
"You've grown up so much," she seems to briefly reminisce everything before the night that changed our lives.
"You know, I never wanted you to leave. I was just...scared. I thought you would cool off after a day or something. The last thing I expected and had wanted was for you to just exit..."
When I see the beginning of tears threatening to overflow her eyes, another sense of pain forms in my chest.
"I'm sorry," I sigh quietly but I know she heard me loud and clear.
"I'm sorry too," she sniffles as her face soon becomes damp.
"You're still an asshole, just saying," Gemma speaks for the first time, "Mum was worried sick about you and so was everyone else. You left us on our own without even a word of goodbye. You didn't even bother to contact us when we've been searching for you forever since the night you disappeared. You're so inconsiderate and selfish."
"You didn't want anything to do with me."
"You don't want anything to do with us. We would've all died without ever knowing what happened to you until she came along. You wouldn't even be here talking to us if it wasn't for her," she finally blows off the steam and I allow her. I sit here patiently as she screams and yells profanities, cursing me out for my actions and criticizing my attitude.
"You're weak, Harry," she spits. That hurt, a fucking lot. But, I clench my jaw and just sit through it. Mum gently slaps Gemma's arm before turning her attention to me.
"I'm glad you finally found someone sweet to let in. You seem to really love her," she smiles, "I hope you keep her around and never lose her."
"If only that was as easily done than said."
Selena's POV:
"My place? Dylan's out of town for his cousin's birthday and my parents are on a business trip," Tyler offers as I nod, snuggling into his jacket even more.
"Sounds good," I agree as we continue walking down the streets toward his home.
"So, how's Dylan?" I bite my lip, wondering about him and his sudden bitter attitude towards everything that happened.
"You know, still slowly getting over Eleanor."
"Oh," I don't really know what else to say.
"You know, that's not the real him, what you uh, recently observed. It's just that he and Eleanor and him were together for the longest time and the gang and us never had good interactions. It was just all in all, bad news. It's like the pain twisted him into evil. I, uh, heard about the CD thing. That was a dick move," he scratches the back of his neck, "He kind of deserved being punched by Harry."
"You know, Harry isn't as bad as everyone makes him out to be," I stare into the distance, "I mean he's not great--hell, nowhere close. But, he's okay."
"Mmm," he mulls over what I just said before aiming into the closest trash can, his now empty cup.
"Nice score," I clap jokingly at his amazing shot.
"Thanks," he shrugs in a cute manner before turning to face me entirely, "Can I be completely honest with you?"
"I'd hope you would be," I tease but give him the opportunity to speak his mind.
"I have the hugest fucking crush on you," he sighs and I almost freeze. That was pretty unexpected.
"I mean, I know you like Harry and all, but I just wanted you to know."
"I don't like Harry," I defend myself.
"I think you do, but it's okay. You won't hurt my feelings," he assures me as I repeat his words over. Tyler...has "the hugest fucking crush on me?"
"I'm truly flattered," I decide to be honest with him as well.
"Why so?" he seems baffled that I would ever treasure his feelings.
"Well, you're really understanding, and beyond caring. Plus, I may or may not think that you are really cute."
"Cute?" he glances at me skeptically.
"Cute and hot," I clarify before blushing at the realization of what I just confessed.
"So you think I'm cute and hot? Wow, I think I'm the one who should be truly flattered," he mocks my earlier words, sending the both of us into a fit of laughter.
"You know, you remind me so much of my ex-girlfriend, Allison," he bites his lip, "When I saw you that first day of school, I almost fell to my knees at your beauty and the shocking resemblance. You know how she moved and just left with no contact whatsoever? I didn't want history to repeat and I just... felt an obligation to protect you properly. I wish I could've saved her but I couldn't."
"You both always sacrifice yourselves for others. It's endearing, frankly. I guess I'm just a sucker for brave girls," he nudges me playfully and I smile. This...this is sweet and comfortable. I enjoy how truthful Tyler is and how he speaks his mind, but with respect and care. His words come out affectionate and harmless but powerful, much different than Harry's rough bluntness.
"You're a really good friend, Tyler," I thank him as he fumbles with the keys in his pockets and finally manages to open the door, gesturing for me to enter first. The place is beautiful but not overly extravagant and actually, rather welcoming.
"You up for sushi?" he questions me but is already picking up the phone and ready to punch in the numbers.
"I love sushi," I shrug his jacket off and walk around, familiarizing myself with his home and admiring the interior masterpiece.
After about a half hour, the doorbell rings and Tyler answers it, bringing a tray of california rolls and raw fish to the living room where I continue staring at everything pretty much.
"Is this Allison?" I point towards a pretty brunette who seemed to capture Tyler's every ounce of attention in a cute photo with the couple hugging each other tightly.
"Yeah," he runs a hand through his hair, "I've been meaning to remove them but I couldn't find the heart to. I mean, I want to always see her but sometimes the sight of her haunts me and my regrets in the past."
I nod, completely understanding. We sit cross-legged on the floor with chopsticks awkwardly in our hands as we pick up pieces of food, the television on in the background.
"Did you see Dempsey score within 30 seconds of the game?" I question him, as we both watch the World Cup.
"Hell yeah. Homie's got game," he nods excited and I find myself laughing at him. When we were done eating and cleaning the trash, he informs me that he will be taking a shower. I sit myself comfortably on his sofa as my phone vibrates.
From: Gemma
"Thanks. xx"
A sense of relief washes over me, knowing that Harry and his family are finally in some sort of peace. Thoughts of him apologizing and actually listening warms my heart. The minute Tyler returns, his hair messily dried, he asks if I prefer him to drop me off at home. I highly doubt my mother would be home and I simply am not in the mood to be alone.
"Would you mind if I slept over?" I asked timidly but he just beams.
"I'd be truly flattered," he winks before showing me to his room and gesturing towards his bed. I frown and argue that I should sleep on the floor or the sofa outside, but he highly insists. The argument continues for a while, both of us too stubborn to make the other sleep in less comfortable areas.
"I don't want to sleep with you in my bed though, Sel. I mean, I wouldn't mind but I feel like that crosses some lines and I don't want to do that to you," he folds his arms across his chest and I can't help the twitch my mouth makes, breaking out into a full smile.
"Thanks for being a gentleman," I peck his cheek before lying on the ground flat. He joins me though he leaves a small distance between us two, respecting my personal space. Minus the lads who I have grown to like as siblings and Eleanor and Danielle, Tyler's the closest friend I have. I deeply appreciate all his kind gestures and considerations; to demonstrate how highly I think of him, I begin to talk. I continue to talk until he knows my whole story, all my heartbreaks, Zac, moving, Dad. Everything. After some hugs and mutual sharing of random tales, we drift off to sleep, our bodies physically a few feet apart but our minds inseparable.
Harry's POV:
"And that's how Robin got stuck on the roof," mum chuckles, face giddy with happiness and laughter. Despite being super fucking pissed that she got remarried without my knowledge, I knew I couldn't blame her. I was the one who severed any connections possible between us. Late afternoon soon turned to night, but none of us are ready to depart just yet. Mum continously told me stories and recollections from when I was away and Gemma made a comment or two. Later, we all discussed the past, my childhood and that's when Gemma finally opened up. It...is nice. I don't want to admit it, but I missed this and I wonder how I ever survived without this relationship with them. I'm somebody to them and that's one of the best feelings in the world.