This is a disclaimer that this story was written between 2014-2016 and DOES NOT reflect my writing style today. There are a lot of things wrong with it, and it is VERY cringe, but I will not be editing or taking it down simply because I will be crucified by my readers if I do, so please, if you wish for the OG AMA to remain available, keep this in mind!
*CW* LOTS of profanity, emotional and physical abuse, r-word usage, biphobic dialogue, underage drinking, drug usage, and a lot of other ill-shit *CW*
I heard the pounding of his large feet against the wooden floor, sending chills up my spine as I listened carefully. He was home, and by the sound of his stumbling footsteps I could tell he was pretty drunk too.
I heard my mom's voice fill the eerie void of sound, "Where have you been?"
My dad must've been pretty wasted because I could hear him trying to muster up a response for my mother. I had to admit, he had to be pretty good to walk up those stairs at 2:20 in the morning completely shitfaced.
"I told youuu... I went out wiitth my frieendss," I heard my dad slur as I sat silently in my bed eavesdropping.
It was sad really, my dad was an alcoholic who seemed to be trying to drink himself to death and my mom pretty much hated me. She never told me she hated me, but ever since the day she caught me with a girl she's been a completely different person towards me. I tended to avoid her, which was sad, but at least when my dad was sober we could have civil conversations.
"Sam came in at 1:00 in the morning smelling like weed," I heard my mom confess, and I cursed silently under my breath.
I knew she wouldn't fucking keep that from him, God she was such a bitch. I rolled over in my bed, covering my body and pretending to sleep as I heard my dad walk down the hallway towards my room.
I listened to his rapid footsteps which seemed to be in sync with my heart, which was beating quite fast now. I took a few deep breaths to try and slow my heart but it was no use, and I heard the door slam open, startling me.
I really hated when he was this drunk.
"You gooot high Samantha?"
I cringed at my full name, knowing he was pissed by the look in his eyes. He was awfully drunk, and I could smell the alcohol on him as he stepped towards me. I sat up in my bed, attempting to seem calm and collected, but there was no getting out of this.
"Dad, it's nothing, I can explain-"
All of a sudden I felt a hard slap across my face, and I refused to cry out in pain as I fell onto my bed. The stinging his hand had left on my cheek burned, and I rubbed it as I felt tears of anger and pain form in my eyes.
I woke up startled, gasping for air as I muttered to myself, "Fuck you, dad."
It was only a bad dream.
I glanced at the clock, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I tried to push the bad memory that had recently replayed in my head as far away as possible. I felt water as I passed my fingers across my face, knowing I had been crying in my sleep. I pulled myself up into a sitting position, resting my head in my hands as I tried to gather myself.
I remembered that night like it was yesterday, although it was two years ago. It was the night I had pretty much lost all respect for my dad because it was the first time he had laid hands on me. He was a fucking hypocrite, punishing me for getting high while he was out with his loser friends every night getting wasted.
All the drugs and alcohol were temporary escapes for me. I would come home to my fucked up family every day and have to listen to my parents yell at each other, and how my dad would slam the door when he left. My mom would get so angry, and then turn to me and blame me for her fucked up marriage because I was a "fucking dyke".
And then finally two years later I was able to move in with my older brother Shawn and leave that fucking place.
He had left as soon as he could for college, leaving me alone to deal with our crazy ass parents, and now he was making something of himself. Busted his ass during school, got a degree, and now he was making an ass-load of money and trying to encourage me to finish my last year of high school.
Difference between me and Shawn was that I hated school, and my lack of motivation fucked me my second year in. Now I was a year behind because I had fucked off my sophomore year and had to repeat it, and now I was a year older than the rest my graduating class.
I forced myself out of bed and into my bathroom, looking at my reflection in the mirror and began brushing my teeth. I had about a week left of summer vacation until I had to start my senior year of high school, which made me extremely depressed just thinking about going back to school.
I stepped into the shower and washed, feeling the aching of emptiness I often felt when I began thinking about everything I had screwed up. I hated feeling this way, which was why I tried not to think so much and just act and live in the moment.
Sam Carson philosophy.
I heard the front door open then, and I knew it was Shawn. Why was he home so early?
I dried off and brushed my hair, throwing on some loose sweats and a T-shirt and heading out the bathroom to join him in the front. I hoped he hadn't gotten fired or something, which was actually my very last guess because Shawn was an extremely hard worker and pretty charming. Anyone would be stupid to fire him.
I saw him in the kitchen and he looked at me, and then the clock, "You slept till one in the afternoon, again."
I scratched my head, ignoring his comment and questioning, "Why are you home so early?"
"I took half a day today since it was Friday."
I yawned, watching Shawn move around the kitchen in his work apparel. He looked so professional, with his khaki slacks and his white button down. We looked a lot alike too, with our blonde hair and blue eyes, knowing we obtained both traits from our loving father.
I rolled my eyes at the thought of him.
Shawn spoke again, "You're starting school in a week. Don't you think it's best to start setting a sleep schedule?"
I waved my hand, dismissing the thought of school as I took a seat at the bar, "I'll be fine."
"Your birthday's also in a week, do you want anything special?"
I remembered instantly that I was going to be turning nineteen around the same time I was going to be starting school, which meant I would have to go out on a school night to celebrate. I didn't have many friends, just one good friend, and I didn't want to have any of my family over here for my birthday.
They would just ruin it.
I shook my head, "No, I'll just invite Blair over and we'll go out or something."
Shawn looked at me, "Do you mind if I bring someone here for dinner in a couple days? I would like for you to meet her."
I brought my eyes up to Shawn, seeing something written in his look that led me to believe this "friend" he was bringing over was more than just a friend. I smirked playfully, "Girlfriend?"
He sighed, "No, I met her in one of my communication courses at school. We ran into each other the other day and I want her to meet you."
I tilted my head as I looked up at him in confusion. I laughed in amusement, "Are you sure? I might scare her away."
He smiled along with me as he shuffled around the kitchen, "As long as you don't try to steal her from me."
I frowned at his comment, remembering one of the other girls he had brought home and how she had come onto me. I didn't initiate contact, but she was pretty drunk and I was high, and when Shawn disappeared for two minutes his girl had come onto me, not vice versa.
I responded, "I told you a million times, I did not steal her from you. She kissed me!"
He chuckled under his breath, "And then puked all over the couch."
I laughed, remembering how wasted that girl was and agreeing, "Yea, so if this friend is anything like her, I'm not interested. You're not good at picking them."
He shoved me slightly, "She's not. I think you'll like her, she's pretty down to earth."
I held my hands up, "I'm not getting my hopes up."
He shook his head, grabbing his keys as he waved me off, "I'm actually going meet up with her right now."
I nodded, "See you later. Don't have sex on the first date, ok?"
He frowned as he stepped halfway out the door, responding to me before disappearing, "You should practice what you preach, Sam."
I smiled sarcastically as I waved him off, "I don't date, Shawn."
~ ~ ~ ~
"Uno mas... uh, year of uh, school."
I looked at Blair, who seemed to be attempting to speak in Spanish but was failing miserably. I raised an eyebrow at her, "Didn't you learn anything else in Spanish class?"
She looked at me, annoyance written in her light green eyes as she shook her head, "No, not really."
I nodded, "That's probably because you have to actually go to class to learn something."
She just stared at me, and I already knew what she was going to say, just to piss me off purposely. She smirked, nodding sarcastically, "Coming from the girl who failed her sophomore year and had to repeat it."
I rolled my eyes, leaning back on the couch as I watched a commercial advertising some sort of shaving cream or something. I really hated when people brought that up, considering I didn't fail because I was stupid, I failed because I never went to school.
But I had kind of initiated the conversation, so I couldn't stay too mad.
Blair responded, "You know I was kidding. You're so fucking sensitive."
I looked at her, giving her the look that always made her shut-up whenever she was about to get herself in trouble. "I'm not sensitive. I just don't like bringing up the past."
Blair groaned obnoxiously as she threw herself onto me, "You're a fucking tit. It happened, ok? You failed. Come to terms with it and grow a pair of big girl balls and move on."
I looked down at her head in my lap as she stared up at me with a sarcastic grin, knowing she had made a good point. It was hard to get over something that set you back an entire year of your life. I tried not to get angry about the fact, and when people brought it up I tried not to take it to heart, but it was something that actually got on my nerves.
And Blair absolutely loved getting under my skin.
She smiled, "At least you only have a year left, and then we're done for good."
I looked up and away from her, knowing she was right. I had one more year, and even though I would be nineteen and graduating from high school, at least I was finishing. This year would be easy, and I would have no more than three classes. I should be excited about it, which I was, but I just hated the fact that I should be finished right now.
I nodded, "You're right."
She leaned up, smiling, "I know I am. I'm always right."
I shoved her, nearly sending her falling off of the couch as I spoke, "Shut-up," I flipped the TV station and spoke, "Shawn's binging someone home for dinner tonight."
Blair looked at me, smiling, "Girlfriend?"
I shrugged, "I don't think so, at least not yet."
She wiggled her eyebrows at me in a sexual manner, "What if she's hot?"
I studied her, wondering if she was remembering the time Shawn had brought a girl home too, and was about to tell me not to "steal her". I responded indifferently, "Then good for Shawn?"
"What if she comes onto you?"
I rolled my eyes, remembering the conversation I had with Shawn the other day, "She's not going to. She's not gay if she's dating Shawn, duh."
Blair looked at me, smiling, "It's not like 'straight' girls haven't come onto you before. You just have something about you that attracts women."
I shook my head, "I'm not going to do that to Shawn. I think he really likes this girl."
"Can I stay and see her?"
"You're so nosy."
I stood, walking into my room and hearing Blair follow me, "Oh come on, I practically live here anyway. You think Shawn would mind?"
I threw on a pair of blue jean shorts and began fixing my hair, "Ask him when he gets home."
She clapped her hands, "Ok, I will. Your brother is so hot, Sam."
I looked at her, "Are you a lesbian or not?"
She shrugged, "I like a little bit of both I think."
I rolled my eyes as I walked into my bathroom, allowing her to follow me, "Are you ever gonna pick a side?"
"Probably not. I like to leave my options open."
I began dabbing on some makeup, feeling as if I needed to look semi-presentable for whoever Shawn was bringing home. I didn't want to look too hot, because that would be weird, but I wanted to look like I took care of myself.
Blair leaned on the cabinet, looking at me, "Why? Do you get jealous when I talk about your brother?"
I laughed out loud at this and looked at her, "You wish, Blair."
"I'm fucking with you again, Sam. Don't get your hopes up, I lean more towards men than I do girls."
I smiled, looking at her from the other side of the bathroom, "That's because you don't really like girls, Blair."
"I like what I like, ok Sam?"
I laughed again, realizing I was enjoying this conversation more than I had expected. "You like anything that gives you attention."
She shoved me, making me fuck up on my eyeliner. I looked at her in anger, knowing I had a long black line of eyeliner draw across my face. She laughed, "Oh shit, I'm sorry!"
I shook my head, "I don't want you here for dinner. I changed my mind."
This got her to stop laughing as she rushed besides me with a make-up towel to remove the eyeliner. She sighed, "Sam, are you about to start your period? You're awfully... sensitive."
I looked at her, allowing her to remove the eyeliner mishap from my face. Even though we liked to get on each other's nerves, I really wouldn't trade Blair for anything. She was my best friend, and has been since our sophomore year. Well, my second sophomore year.
I mumbled in annoyance as she finished up, "Call me sensitive again."
"You're sensitive."
She didn't even hesitate, but for some reason it gained a laugh out of both of us. I crossed my arms as I pulled away from her, looking at myself in the mirror. I sighed, "Maybe I am, but unless you want to ride the Magic School Bus your senior year, I suggest you shut your face."
This gained a serious look from Blair as she shrugged, "You know I was kidding, right? You're not sensitive. At all."
I smiled in victory, "That's what I thought."
And then suddenly I heard someone coming through the front door, and I knew instantly it was Shawn getting back from work. Blair and I walked out of my room, seeing him bring in food that was going to be cooked. We walked up to him, Blair already helping him un-bag the groceries to try and soften him up.
"Hey Shawn."
"What do you want Blair?"
I laughed, knowing my brother knew her too well for her to play that weird flirting game. She sighed, "Can I just help you without you thinking I want something from you?"
He crossed his arms, leaning back on the kitchen cabinet just staring at Blair in amusement. This of course got Blair to admit the truth to him.
"Fine, I wanted to ask you if I could stay for dinner."
I muffled my laugh as Blair shot me a side-ways glance, flicking me off in the process as Shawn nodded, "I know you better than you think. And I guess so, since I'm bringing a guest."
Blair smiled in victory as we continued to help him ready everything for dinner, and I rolled my eyes in response. It's not that I didn't want Blair to stay for dinner, because she did quite often, I just didn't want to hear sarcastic remarks all night about Shawn's girl. I knew she was going to be pretty, because Shawn never brought home anything less, and I was going to hear it all night from Blair.
And now it was inevitable.
~ ~ ~ ~
She's outside, I'm gonna go get her."
Shawn rushed out of the apartment and to the parking lot to meet whoever the hell she was. I didn't even know her name yet, which I figured Shawn had refused to mention to start simple conversation. He never really brought girls over, but when he did he knew how to make them feel comfortable.
Even around his very open, lesbian sister.
Blair looked at me, attempting to fix my blonde tousled hair before they came back up. I shoved her hand away and she smiled, "You look sexy."
I rolled my eyes, "Blair, seriously, I don't want to hear stupid comments all night about her."
She held up her hands, "I won't, but seriously, you could probably turn her tonight by the way you look."
I never really wore too much make-up, and never wore fancy clothes either, but Blair told me I didn't need to. I was wearing a little bit more makeup than usual tonight, but I always held the laid-back look which Blair swore gave me ultimate sex appeal. I wasn't trying to seduce Shawn's girlfriend, or whatever she was, and Blair was going to nag at me the entire time even though I told her otherwise.
I ignored her as I relaxed on the couch, trying not to worry too much about this dinner. I mean, it was just a friend, but I just didn't want to scare her off if he did like her. Not many girls that were straight were ok with lesbians, and I didn't want to be the reason she stopped coming around.
But fuck her if she didn't like the fact that I was gay.
I heard voices outside and I allowed my eyes to travel to the door, along with Blair's, who seemed to be more excited about this than I was. I watched as Shawn held the door open for her, and I could hear Blair squeal in muffled excitement as she tried not to annoy me further.
I stood, walking over to them as I smiled warmly, taking in the girl, or should I say woman's, appearance. She had crystal blue eyes, the lightest eyes I've ever seen, and she focused them to me as I stood in front of her.
Shawn spoke, "Megan, this is my little sister Sam. Sam, this is my friend Megan."
She held out her hand and I grabbed it, taking notice to how soft her skin was, and instantly realized I hadn't said anything. I nodded, "Nice to meet you. Shawn's told me a lot about you."
Megan dropped my hand and looked at Shawn, smiling, "Have you?"
Shawn smiled charmingly, "Good things."
I retorted, "You're much prettier than he let in on."
Shawn shot me an uneasy glance, along with Blair's amused expression. I shut my mouth then, realizing I had almost flirted with Shawn's almost-girlfriend in front of Shawn. It was habit, and it's not like I was trying to flirt with her on purpose, it was just something I was so used to doing with girls.
Megan noticed the tension and broke it fairly easy, "It smells amazing in here."
I turned away from them, walking towards Blair who was watching us from afar, attempting to stifle her grin. I shot her a mean look as I directed her to introduce herself to try and take away more of the tension in the room.
"I'm Blair, Sam's best friend."
Megan smiled warmly, giving us sight of her perfect white teeth and her dimples, "Nice to meet you Blair."
Blair looked up at her in awe, "Nice to meet you, Megan."
I grimaced at Blair's attempt to flirt and I grabbed her hand, pulling her away from the kitchen and into my room, closing the door behind me. Blair looked at me, confusion written in her expression as she held her mouth open in awe.
"Holy shit, she's gorgeous."
I pointed my finger at Blair, "Do not flirt with her, actually, don't even talk to her unless I give you the okay. You're not embarrassing Shawn, and I don't want to weird her out ok?"
Blair rolled her eyes, "So what, you get to have all the fun?"
I shoved her, "No, now stop acting childish and let's get through this fucking dinner."
Blair shook her head, "I can't believe your brother brought home a Victoria Secret model."
I forced Blair out of my room along with myself, seeing my brother and Megan standing over the stove. I joined next to them as we began fixing plates and sitting at our dining room table. Megan didn't seem aware of anything that had happened between her and I, along with Blair's attempt to flirt, so I took it as a good sign.
But damn, she was hot.
Shawn spoke, "Megan's gonna start teaching this upcoming year."
I looked up from my plate, glancing at Blair to make sure she didn't say anything. She held her mouth shut, and I looked at Megan, "What grade?"
Her blue eyes looked at me, and I watched as her full pink lips moved from her glass of water, leaving a little lipstick stain on it. She smiled, "Not sure, but one of my dad's friends is offering me a job at his high school, so most likely freshmen."
I nodded, knowing she was going to be given hell considering all freshmen were hormonal freaks, and judging by Megan's looks I knew exactly how they were going to treat her. Her dark brown hair fell over her shoulders as she sat up straight, taking a little bite of the chicken we had cooked earlier.
Shawn spoke again, refusing to let the conversation die, "She's a double major, and she's teaching History."
I looked at Megan again, actually shocked that she was going to be teaching such a boring subject. What the hell would possess her to be interested in that? I tried not to show my disappointment as I nodded, "Cool, you might actually make history fun to attend."
Blair kicked me under the table as I realized what I had said, and I looked up from my plate, realizing I might've offended her. She seemed un-phased by what I had said, and she was now having small talk with Shawn.
I cursed under my breath as Blair shot me a "what the fuck" look as I shrugged, finishing up my dinner as I sipped on my water. I studied Megan further, realizing she could be any older than Shawn, who was currently 24. She looked so young, but I knew looks could be deceiving, which is why I pulled my eyes away from her just as quickly.
But those freshmen were lucky, and I was kind of jealous.
Eventually dinner ended and Shawn was getting ready to walk Megan out the door while I was doing the dishes with Blair. Megan walked up behind Blair and I and spoke, "It was nice meeting you two."
I turned around with Blair, nodding in awkward agreement as Shawn eyed me from the doorway. I responded, "You too Megan."
Blair and I waved her off as her and Shawn walked out the door, leaving Blair and I alone in the kitchen. She laughed, "Oh my God, there's no way you're going to be able to keep your hands off of her. Especially if Shawn brings her around often."
I looked at her, "Stop, seriously."
Blair shoved the last of the dishes into the dishwasher, washing her hands after, "Sam, she's fucking gorgeous, and I know how you are. You're going to see her around here more often if they get serious, you're going to flirt with her like you do with all the other girls you've screwed around with, and you're going to seduce her. It's that weird mojo you have around you, the thing that lures people into you."
I shook my head, "Blair, that is the one girl that is off limits no matter what. That's Shawn's girl."
She leaned back on the cabinet looking at me, "We'll see how long that mentality lasts."
And that was the end of that conversation, because I knew if I kept talking about it I would continue thinking about Megan, which was something I didn't want to do. I knew Blair was right, I had proven her right during dinner when I had involuntarily flirted with her. It was in my nature, and let me tell you, Megan was something else.
But she was completely off limits, no matter how bad I wanted her.
**A/N**
So how did you guys like the first chapter or the new TeacherXStudent story? Let me know how you like it in comments below, I would love to hear what you guys think! Happy Reading.
-Lauryn