( TRIGGER WARNING)
She woke up laying on her side with a throbbing pain in her ear. The pain she knew too well was because all the blood had rushed to the side of her face. Massaging at her ear trying to get blood flowing she grabbed her satin robe and pulled it against her petite frame. Walking to her vanity she checked the time.
12:55 p.m.
she had to be ready by 2:30 p.m. if she wanted to make it to the photo shoot on time and not be bitched at. She applied light foundation, her signature cut crease eyeshadow and a light mauve lipstick. She fluffed her curls, rearranging the mess they were from sleep, brushed her teeth then made her way to her scale. Letting down her robe she stepped onto the scale; this was not a ritual she liked whatsoever but it had become routine. She stepped back on and back off onto the scale three times to make sure the weight was precise. Tears formed in her eyes seeing the number before her eyes.
"God... look how humongous you are, no matter how low the number is somehow you still look like a blimp"
She shook the thoughts away then made her way to the kitchen chugging a cup of cold water.
2:45 p.m.
"I'm here, I'm here!" Stevie walked in with a red skirt embroidered with flowers and a cream peasant top also embroidered with flower designs.
The 4 looked up and got up from their spots not saying much, she wasn't late yet they were all high out of their mind... but it was the usual no matter the time of day and she'd be lying if she said she was sober herself.
Today they'd be shooting possible covers for their album tusk by the famous Sam Emerson. She wanted no part in having to be there, the tension between everyone was palpable. Most of their pictures would never even be featured on the album because the photographer would look away for a split second and find that half the band was missing. Lindsey and mick needing a "pee break" a.k.a. Another joint, john looking for any bottle of booze he could find, Stevie doing as much blow as was acceptable and Christine socializing with everyone with a cigarette and glass of wine dangling from her fingers. The day had been long and thankfully only very few hurtful remarks were made and once the whole photo shoot had wrapped up everyone agreed to attend a party. Stevie didn't even ask who's party it was because it really didn't matter. It'd be the same 'ol Hollywood party hosted by a rockstar followed along with a guest list of other rockstars and their groupies which always meant she was going to be high off her rocker but what was new to her?
3 A.M.
Stevie found herself in a bedroom with other people she could no longer recognize their blurry faces. The room reeking of blow, marijuana and whiskey. She was offered a baggie of coke and she happily accepted. Dipping in her nail once, then twice, then a third. She heard someone nudge her shoulder than jokingly comment
"You gonna share Nicks?"
She giggled then passed the contents over to Mick who was as intoxicated as she. Just then she noticed Lindsey walk in, surprisingly without his girlfriend Carol Ann. They made brief eye contact then suddenly looked away both with a glare. The two never made contact unless it it was absolutely necessary or if there was a rude comment that just couldn't be kept in. Stevie walked to the bathroom trying not to let her wobbly legs fall beneath her. She shut the door quickly and was haunted with huge mirrors surrounding the whole bathroom. She couldn't stand the eyes that stared back at her, she began to wonder if she would ever be able to tolerate herself. She continued to do as much blow as she could take, loving the feeling of euphoria and self content but as soon as she really saw herself her walls would immediately come crashing down. She couldn't stand herself, she couldn't stand the things she did that she never thought would happen and she couldn't bare the fact that her and Lindsey had become totally disconnected. She wasn't gonna let herself cry.
"No, Stevie. You've kept it all in this long you can do it a little longer... everyone will know how broken you are just keep it together. You have no reason to cry you wanted this life, you wanted the fame, the fortune, the men, now get your ass out there and wash it all down with a Brandi"
A/N: okay this story might be a little depressing sorry guys. So, most things that are in this story (I.E. eating disorders, drug addictions etc) are all things I've gone through so I can say that a lot of these feelings were realistic for me and I felt it'd be interesting to capture actual feelings that have come from my journal and put them into a fanfic. I also plan on this story being a Buckingham Nicks romance! All of this will make sense soon please stick with me thank you!!