This chapter will only be the thinkings of Allison. this will help understand why she do some things in the future.
If you want just skip it.
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I have been dating Alexander for a week. I really hate him.
Every day I think that dead is easier than life. I hurt myself everyday, everyday deeper, everyday more blood comes out, everyday hurts more, but makes me feel better.
I just hate how my life has become. I have lost everything I really care of.
I will prefer to die, and I actually have think of killing myself. I will prefer to sleep and never wake up. I just want to forget all choices I have made that create, today, my present.
Everyday is the same, every-fucking-day, I don't want to keep on living. I go to school everyday and go with the others. I just walk unconsciously to everywhere I go. I do all thing not completely aware of what I'm doing.
I don't go to music class and I sit in the front in every class. I try to forget Gee. I try to avoid him. Every time I see him a deep sensation of culpability cross my body.
I remember the last time I talk to him as a friend, when he decide to call me Allie. That is the best thing that have pass to me, but me and my stupid mouth have to ruin it.
Gee was my best friend. He help me when I was just a freak, when nobody likes me. When nobody notice me, he do it. He teach me how beautiful life could be, but I just go and ruin it. dammit!!!
Now I have many 'friends', but for me they are only people.I have many follower, people who only want to be in the popular clique. They treat me as a friend but they are not friends for me and they will never be.
They are fake friends, they only like me because I'm Alexander's stupid girlfriend. My real friends now hate me. More important Gee, my first and best friend, hates me.
He was my best friend and we were never more than friends. Now he probably hates me and maybe he will never be my friend again. With luck we could be friends one day, but nothing more.
SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!SHIT! I'M A STUPID!!!!! I HATE MYSELF!
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Well here it is an update. Read please!
I really like the story so keep reading.
Today song will be mmm...
The only hope for me is you by MCR
READ!!!! please...