Amber
"Alright, I'll get this to my friend at the lab. He should get back to us by tomorrow." The doctor smiles at me as she labels and puts away the sample from me. She already got Alan's earlier today.
"Thank you very much for helping me." I smile.
"Don't worry about it. It's part of the job and I also happen to like you." She chuckles and I laugh.
"Thank you, Doc. Let's go Amber." Nico smiles at her and he takes my hand. I manage to turn around and wave at her.
"Bye!" I follow Nico as he practically drags me along with him before I pull my hand from his and stop.
"What's going on Nico?" He sighs. I noticed he was impatient since before.
"Wait, does this have to do with the call you got?" He goes even more serious if it's possible.
"Yes, now will you please follow me?" I frown and stay there.
"Amber, why must you always be so difficult?" He seems annoyed and I get angry.
"Maybe because you never tell me anything and expect me to do whatever you say."
"Well, you should know by now that I do tell you when the time is right. Look, just follow me. It's something we need to discuss privately, okay?" I keep my mouth shut and decide to follow him. He walks and after a minute of tense silence he smiles and speaks.
"You're so stubborn, you know that? You always want things your way. But...even if it does annoy me, I also happen to like that about you. Sometimes." I can't help but laugh and as he turns down to look at me I feel a grin grow on my face. I could never stay mad at him and just looking at him makes me forget why I was even angry in the first place. Nico. He's always so sweet.
"I'm sorry. I know I should start listening to you more often, you always have a reason for doing things. I guess I just never had control over anything and now that I'm free I want to do whatever I want which isn't always right."
"I know, princess. You are free and don't ever feel like you have to do everything you're told. Just think things through first, okay?" I nod.
"Okay." We keep walking and he leads me to Alessandro's office which is my office for now. He opens the door for me and we walk in. I go sit down while he closed the door and he does the same after.
"Alright. What is it Nico?" I feel a pit in my stomach, I know this is serious and I don't know what to expect anymore.
"It was Antonio." I take in a deep breath unconsciously. If Nicholas is restless it's because it's not good news.
"He convinced them to give Alex some time but they only agreed to two weeks." This isn't fair but I knew what was coming and bringing it forward one week wasn't going to change the fact that Ale is in a delicate condition. It hurts but I need to come to terms with the fact that I might not be getting him back. A tear escapes from my eye and I speak as a few more follow.
"Well, we don't have a choice right?" He nods while looking at me with pain filled eyes. I know he doesn't like to see me in pain and for some reason I feel my heart speed up a bit. What is this?
"We also need to plan the...wedding. Just in case we do need to do this, it's short notice. We don't need to do anything grand, but we still need a priest and at least rent a few tables and such. I nod. He reaches out and wipes away my tears.
"Don't cry, little one. Things will work out. I promise that I won't ever make you lose hope in Alex, as long as he's breathing I don't expect anything from you. If we do wed, I make a promise to always do what I can to make you happy. I will never force you to do anything you don't wish and we will keep things professional in front of others. As soon as he does wake up we can stop the charade. Alright?" There he goes again smiling that warm smile only he can. Why must he always be so sweet and understanding? I know Alessandro is the one I love, so why do I feel these butterflies lately whenever I'm around Nicholas? I know I don't love him and as cruel as it may sound, he will never be my Ale. Still, he makes me feel something and I know I will always be safe with him. I've already decided that as much as it would hurt me, I can't wait for Ale forever. If he takes too long I can't wait forever no matter how much it tears me apart. I'm brought out of my thoughts as two warm arms wrap around me.
"Please, princess. Stop crying." At his words the last of my strength leaves me. I'm not okay with this, any of it. No matter how much I think it over, how much I try to act like I'm fine, I'm not. I feel him pick me up before sitting down with me on his lap and his arms around me.
"Alright, I get it. Everything will be okay. Shhh. I'm here. Let it out." He whispers a few words every now and then as he strokes my hair. I don't know how long he holds me but I eventually stop. My face feels hot and my eyes feel puffy.
"I'm sorry Nico."
"Don't be sorry, you've had to be strong your whole life. It's fine to break a few times. Now, you have a lot of people to support you. Never forget that you can come to me whenever you feel like you need someone. And please, no more lying from now on. I'm proud of you for trying to be tough but you're still human. At least, trust in me. Please."
"Thank you. But that isn't what I'm apologizing for."
"Oh?"
"I mean, I'm sorry for you always having to be there to comfort me. You have enough to deal with, not adding the nineteen year old crybaby."
"You're not a crybaby. All your life you've been controlled. Now you can be free, that includes being free to express your feelings. And never apologize for trusting in me. You have no idea how happy it makes me to know that you come to me for comfort, that you trust me so much and that I can be the person who supports you. It's far from a burden."
He adjusts the strands of hair that made their way to my face. I look up at him as he runs his thumb across my cheek while cupping my face. His hands are like Alessandro's, rough from their hard lives but still extremely gentle. I feel my heart racing and before I can register what I'm doing I move my face closer to Nicholas and he looks surprised before I close the distance. He hesitates like the gentleman he is before putting his hand in my hair and holding me closer to him and deepening the kiss. I should feel bad about this and I do but the comfort it brings me is what I need right now. I shouldn't do this to either of them, betray Ale or give Nico any false hope but I push away all rational thoughts and focus on the warmth coursing through my body. I feel safe if only for now, I feel like everything will be just fine. Still, after a while I pull back as I realize that I feel many things except what Ale makes me feel. Nicholas is warmth and comfort, Alessandro is home.
"I'm sorry, Nico. I-" He shakes his head before smiling.
"Don't apologize. I know you're confused right now, in any case I should be apologizing. I'm a little selfish sometimes and I can't say I didn't enjoy every second of it. It's on me. I'm a grown man and I know what I'm doing. Don't worry about me." He's still smiling and I can see the genuine happiness on his face. Why does he have to be so understanding? No matter what I do he's still there for me. I don't deserve him.
"Thank you for understanding." He nods in response.
"Yeah, but we should make sure this doesn't happen again. As much as I would love it, we can't betray Alex that way and you also don't need more confusion in your life. I'm here for you, I care for you, I'm your friend and that won't change."
"I don't deserve you Nicholas."
"You're right you know?" I'm a little taken aback by his honesty.
"You don't deserve me or Alex for that matter. You deserve much more, you deserve the world. You deserve a normal life, not a life full of danger and worry." Of course he would say something like that.
"Thank you, Nico."
"Do you want to wait for dinner? Or are you too tired?"
"I'm not really hungry."
"So, you want to go to bed early?" I think before shaking my head.
"I know this is a little short notice but Ale used to take me to a lake nearby. Do you think we can go?" My voice gets softer toward the end. I try to not be like this but I'm not used to asking for things and I always feel a little intimidated.
"It's getting dark and we shouldn't really go out because you know, danger. So, sure. Let's go." I laugh and he grins. I've noticed his face always lights up whenever I'm happy.
"Let's go!" I pull his hand and try to drag him with me but he makes it difficult for me, purposely resisting.
"Nico!" He laughs.
"Fine!" He cooperates and I run a little while he simply walks quickly. Damn my short legs. We make a quick detour to get our jackets and we eventually reach the outside and get into the car. Even if I've gotten better at driving, Nicholas is the one who usually drives. Tonight is no exception.
"Why do you like the water so much?"
"I don't know. I always dreamt about it and then I finally got to experience it. Ale taught me how to swim and then I was able to just get in and dive underwater. When I'm in there I forget everything, it's just me surrounded by the calm water. That lake is so silent and all I hear is nature around me. I was locked up for years...being outside just makes me feel completely free."
"I don't mean to pry Amber but what exactly is your story? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I just...don't know much about you. I mean I know you but not your life." I sigh.
"It's not something I like to talk about...but I think you deserve to know. You're always there for me and I know I can trust you with this. How about we wait until we get to the lake?" He smiles.
"That sound like a great idea, princess." It only takes a few more minutes for us to reach our destination. We get out of the car and walk the rest of the way.
The sun is almost done setting and everything looks magical. I wish I could get in the water but the weather is a little too cold for that. I decide to sit near the edge on the soft grass. Nico sits down next to me before laying down. He suddenly pulls me back and I'm laying on the grass next to him and we stay there in silence for a while watching the sky.
"You already know about my mother and you have the general idea of things but..." I talk to him about everything, giving him the smallest of details and he stays silent the entire time. I don't take my eyes off the sky so I don't see his reactions, even if it gets easier to tell every time people's reactions are always the same.
"...and here I am now." I decide it's time to turn and face him so I muster up the courage to sit up and turn toward him. Much to my surprise though, he's already sitting up and his fists are balled up and he looks straight ahead. Even if he isn't looking directly at me, I can still see the rage in his eyes. I out a hand on one of his and he relaxes a little.
"Hey, it's fine. I'm okay now."
"It's not fine! If he was getting tortured before I swear I'm going to out him through hell! He'll be begging for me to stop, just you wait." I see a darkness in him I had never seen before, then again I hardly ever see any of them in their element. When they're with me they all act so normal but I know that elsewhere they need to be cold, fearsome, strong and at times heartless.
"Exactly, we have him now. Save the rage for later. This time he isn't going anywhere." He changes the position of our hands and now his is over mine.
"You're right. We came here to relax a while. Let's not ruin that." We both smile.
"I want to apologize. I know I kind of did already but I understand your anger toward him. I don't like seeing you that way but if it's what you need, go for it."
"Thank you but I think that one time was enough. You were right. That isn't me and I don't want it to be. I got it out of my system and I know much more awaits him. You'll take care of him just fine."
"I will, little one. I will. He's going to regret everything and I promise I won't stop until he's on his knees begging you for forgiveness."
"The truth is that I know his time is up and that's more than enough for me." We go silent after that and lay back down.
"How about we play 20 questions?"
"What's that?"
"We take turns asking questions to get to know each other better. I mean I think we're really close but there's so much I don't know."
"Alright."
"I'll start. What is your favorite color?" I think about my answer.
"All of them but if I really have to pick it's blue."
"Now you ask me something."
"Well, I'm curious too so what's your favorite color?"
"It's actually blue and also purple because that was my mom's favorite color."
We ask away and before we know it more than an hour has passed. During that time I forgot about everything that's wrong and simply focused on the calmness of our surroundings and the comfort of Nico's company. For a moment everything felt normal.
"We should get back, it's pretty late." I sit up and he does as well.
"You're right and I'm also really tired." He laughs at my answer.
"I know, your droopy eyes give you away."
"My eyes are not droopy."
"You're cute." After that he just turns around and starts walking away.
"Hey! Wait up!" I move my tiny legs and try to catch up with him. I do and I give him a soft smack on the arm.
"Ow!"
"I didn't even hit you that hard. Drama queen." I roll my eyes.
"No, it didn't hurt my arm. It hurt my heart." He dramatizes by putting his hand over his chest.
"Like I said, drama queen."
"In any case it would be drama king. I'm a man."
"No, it would be something like drama princess since you like singing along with them."
"I take back what I said, you are not cute. You are a vicious woman." I laugh.
"And I maintain my statements. Drama princess." I laugh and we keep talking while we get to the car and on the ride back.
"Can we go see Ale before going to sleep?" Even if he says no I'm going.
"Of course we can." I smile at his answer. We get out and head inside. We walk to the medical wing"
"Hi, Cleo!" I walk up to her and give her a hug and she hugs me even tighter.
"Hi! How are you? I haven't seen you in so long! How's Emily?"
"I'm fine and I know, we should hang out soon. Emily is better, thankfully she didn't get hurt too badly. She was just a little weak and sore."
"I guess you're here to see your husband. I won't keep you." She smiles her usual friendly smile. When she's being herself she just has this contagious joy.
"Thanks." I smile back and walk into the room.
"Hey, Cleo."
"Hi, Nico!" After greeting her I hear him walk in.
"Do you want me to stay outside?" I shake my head.
"Come in." I don't turn to look at him but I hear the door shut and his footsteps as he walks over to my side. I grab Alessandro's hand and stroke his hair like always. I look at his face, even if he's pale he still looks as beautiful as ever. I wish I could see his eyes though, they're the most beautiful thing about him. His eyes always tells me what he doesn't say in words.
"Good night, Ale. Please wake up soon." A tear drops and falls on his face. I wipe it away.
"I miss you." I give him a soft kiss on the lips. I long for the feeling he gives me.
"I love you." I take one final look at him before putting his hand down. Nicholas takes my place next to Alessandro.
"Good night, brother. Come back to us. We both need you." He envelops Ale's hand with his own.
"Please, wake up." He looks at him for a long while before letting go and turning to look at me. He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"Let's go, princess." I nod. We walk out and say our goodbyes to Cleo before going to our room. I have an internal debate on going to check on Emily or not. I DO NOT need a repeat of last time. With those memories in mind I decide to just call her before going to bed. We reach our room and we both take turns changing.
"I'm going to the bathroom." Nicholas says.
"I'll go after you come back." He nods and leaves . I take the opportunity to call Emily. It rings a few times and I almost hang up but then she answers.
"Hey, Amber. What's up?" She sounds a little out of breath.
"Are you busy?"
"Uh, no."
"Alright, I'll take that as a yes. Say hi to Marcos for me. Tell him to remember what I said." I smile as I imagine her face and remember Marcos'.
"Wha-" I hang up before she tries to convince me she wasn't doing anything. Ok, enough thinking about them...and that. I sit on the edge of the bed waiting for Nicholas to come back and meanwhile I play on my phone. After a few more minutes he comes in and I leave. I brush my teeth and do my business and go back. I am ready to sleep, last night wasn't the best night. Chairs are incredibly uncomfortable to sleep in.
"Ready to sleep, little one?" I nod before turning off the light and going to my bed.
"Good night, Nico."
"Good night, little one. I hope you have sweet dreams." I do too, I'm tired of the nightmares.
"Thank you. You too." I lay there and listen to his steady breathing and slowly reality fades until I fall asleep.