So chapter 12, the chapter after this, is private so you'll have to follow me in order to read! Enjoy!
Ryann POV
It seemed like I should've been done with Tyheim, but I wasn't. Sometimes I felt like I was being used, but then he would do something sweet and bat those long eyelashes, that seemed to be his trick. And I fell for it every time! Sinking back into the seat of the yellow cab, the cracks along the floor proved how many feet had been on this same floor, light rain drops constantly struck the misty window. Rain always seemed calming to me, but tonight it had me in my feelings. Sulking quietly, my eye's shifted slowly from the window towards the front of the cab, he was a quiet one. As my eye's swung back towards the glass, we came to a halting stop. Peering out of the cab, into the fully lighted house I sighed wearily too lethargic after this long night.
"Hey, your gonna pay me or what?"
Although I was unwilling to move, I casually pulled out a twenty handing it to him, my soft freshly manicured hand roughly rubbed against his. Scrabbling for my bag, I quickly sought to get some fresh air as tension within the cab got thicker and thicker for some odd reason. Maybe there wasn't tension at all, maybe it was just me.
"Be safe."
Breaking the tension and odd silence, my wide eye's peered into his face. Studying every significant feature, the sag on his face, bags underneath his eye's, and mainly the worried look that had crossed his pale face. Biting onto my bottom lip, I gripped the door handle tightly, the sun seemed to peak over the dark cloud's while I clambered up the stone walkway. As it was late, or early as some may say, I quickly shoved my key into the lock of the door trying to be as quiet as possible. It was silent, too silent I thought, crinkling my nose at the dank smell of cigarettes traveling from the top of the stairs.
"Tyheim you home?"
Cautiously yelling up the stairs from the the door, I threw off these deamon heels sighing from relief. After the hostile confrontation with Mystery's fiance, I jetted out of there like a bat out of hell. The seemingly dark hallway swolled me as I ran further and further away from him, the loud clank of my heels dragging along side of me echoed against the walls, it was anything but relaxing. Stopping to catch my breath, that's when I had realized how ignorant I seemed to everyone. Standing on that hot stage, those lights beaming onto my forehead, these high ass heels, and the auctioneer yelling out prices like I was the finest piece of meat in the butchers shop waiting to be sold. I was angry, finally catching my breath I blinked back tears, scrambling for my purse I got to my feet and found the nearest exit. Pouting when I realized Tyheim was my ride, I slowly sat on the steps of the beautiful mansion. The outside now abandoned, I fidgeted the heel of my shoes scrapping against the spotless white washed concrete floor. I mean, he loved me right, I already knew the answer, I just felt the need to question myself about it over again. Trying to convince myself that I just wasn't an easy way to make money for Tyheim.
Chills ran slightly down my spine as I snapped back to reality, standing there in the akwardly silent house, alone, the night had caught up to me as my body seemed to slump and my head hung low along with my eye's. This wasn't the time to sleep, nor sulk home was calling my name, realizing I hadn't seen nor called my family in years. I was gone, L.A and this fast life had nothing to do for me. Mystery was grown, hell nearly married at this point, and as soon as these divorce papers were signed I would be a single woman.
Moving towards the wooden stairs, my hand glided against the smooth walls as I tried to clear my mind. Reaching the top of the steps I casually walked into the room I shared with Tyheim. It took me time to realize that I was leaving it all, shaking slightly I reached for the cordless phone that laid restlessy behind the door, calling my name. Hoovering over the numbers, I quit procracinating and quickly punched in the number thats been the same for 20 years now. It seemed like deamons fought in my head, shit it was mama, there was no reason for me to be scared of my mama, rolling my eyes as I lied to myself I pressed the phone tightly against my ear. I could already here the I told you so sarcastically spilling from her mouth, smart ass.
"Hello!"
Cringing as the booming bass and loudness of her voice echoed in my ears, I quickly wiped the palms of my sweaty hands against my dress.
"Mama?"
Sinking into the rose colored armchair I inhaled the old smell of sweet vanilla, suddenly feeling the need to relax.
"The devil is a lie, Ryann Marianna Johnson is not on this phone!"
Lifting my hand quickly to catch the tears the poured down my face, unable to remain serious I giggled at the shock in my mothers voice.
"Yes mama, I'm coming home, I can't take it- can't take this life."
Gagging and mumbleing through my tears, she silently listened to my sinful confessions.
"As long as god forgives you, nothing else matters, see you tomorrow morning honey."
Repeating her words in my head, I nonchalantly threw the phone onto the oversized plush bed and made my way into the walk-in closet. Nothing else mattered, pausing as I got one foot over the threshold I took a long look around the room that had so many memories, the pictures of Tyheim and I seemed to bore into my heart. They revealed all the secrets I had kept from everyone, one particular picture hit me hard. It was right after I was raped, it reminded me more and more of my abortion, I swear if Tyheim had ever knew about it I would be dead. Turning sharply I avoided thinking, but this couldn't be avoided! Pouting I snatched thousands of dollars worth of clothing from the hangers, the idea of the abortion made me furious. Shit, I wanted to keep it, but the possibility of that baby not being Thyheim's killed me. I couldn't, and I wouldn't look that baby in the eyes knowing he was a result of a rape!
As that fury turned quickly into tears, I stumbled through the closet, bundles of clothes laid in my arms waiting to be packed away. Tripping I blindly caught my self as I crossed that threshold once again, the eyes staring at me, into me, again. Licking my lips, I dropped everything onto the bed suddenly, the idea of leaving becoming more and more important to me as it became brighter outside. Searching around with my eye's for my suitcases I cursed at myself, realizing I had never brought them up from the basement.
Using the stairs, my tears had dried, but I was still a little down and the fact that I had to revisit the same place that it happened at didn't sit well with me at all. Traveling through the living room to the heavy metal door, I stopped suddenly. A huge lump formed in the middle of my throat, inhaling deeply I quickly grabbed at the handle, giving myself no time to even think I placed one foot onto the creaky steps. Goosbumps ran up my arms quickly, I really wanted to turn back, but then what would I do? Carry my stuff in trash bags.
Running my fingers across the tiled wall, I sought for the light switch fear engulfing me as I remembered. This same hand searched for that same light switch. Realizing I was holding my breath I gasped suddenly, the bright lights led me cautiously down these stairs, it's been so long. It was no diffrent then before.
Hurriedly searching for my bags, I cursed myself for assuming I would be here forever. Stumbling over the plain carpet, I frowned and slumped to the floor, I was tired! Almost 16 hours of no sleep had suddenly caught up with me, taking one last hopeful look around I decided to end my search, until I spotted the door, it seemed to just appear, realizing it was Tyheim's 'man cave' I reluctantly peered at the door. So eager but yet indecisive about stepping even a foot into his private quaters. What the hell, he wasn't here! After tonight I would never see him again! Shit, but I was still scared.
Pushing myself up off the floor, I slowly stepped off of the carpet onto the cold floor. Wishing that hallway had really eaten me, and swallowed me whole, I mumbled to myself slowly easing my fright as I git closer and closer to the door. My stomach twisted in pain, the urge to release everything in my empty stomach came back, while beads of sweat trickled down my face. Slowly gripping the gold knob, I slowly turned it, kicking it all the way open with the toe of my foot I stepped inside of the bare room. Frowning, this was nothing close to a "man cave," looking more like a security room, I stared in awe at the large televisions spaced out across the room. A desk and chair underneath each of them had a computer laid so carefully on each, I was guessing to control the television.
Wanting to know more, I stopped in my tracks as I yearned to investigate. This was Tyheim's shit, shuffleing through bags and under boxes for my luggage I sighed, wasted precious time once again! Throwing my hands into the air, I took a well needed seat into one of the chair. Sinking into it I realaxed, the plush leather exterior felt so good at the moment. Shutting my eyes, a sudden light caught my attention. It was the computer, screaming filled my ears, snapoing my eye's open my mouth dropped as I realizing those screams were mine. Breathing heavily, my body tensed in the now uncomfortable chair, tears pooled my eye's as I watched myself getting raped.
"What the fuck are you doing in here?"
Facing the voice terror filled my eye's as I peered at Tyheim, or should I say the devil.