Chapter Thirty-Six
Luke's soft lips press gently on mine, and I pull away. I need to tell him that I'm ready, I know he's ready cause he told me already, so I guess it's my turn to tell him, isn't it?
Luke frowns at me for stopping this so suddenly, he then run a hand through his hair and mutter a few profanities. My hands slip off from around his neck, and his hand moves off of my waist.
"I'm moving to fast aren't I?" He says, beginning to crawl off of me. I wrap my arms around his neck, and pull him back down before he actually climbs off. I shake my head, and smile at him for being too cute.
"No, I stopped so I could tell you that. . .I was ready, silly." I say, ruffling his hair with one of my hands. He growls at me again, and then tells me off for ruffle his hair. He smiles at me, and kisses my cheek, making my cheeks go red once again. I smile back at him.
"Ready? As in. . .ready, ready?" He says, biting his lip. I nod my head, I'm not going to think twice about it, it was bound to happen some day I guess, and if I do think twice about it, I know that I won't ever 'do it' till I'm like forty, because I get paranoid. Plus, it's perfect. . .we're alone, we're never really alone, Luke's ready and I'm ready. I guess that's a good thing.
"Er. . .yeah." I say, moving my hands from his neck, and placing them on my face covering it up to hide my embarrassment. I feel my cheeks heat up. I feel Luke's hands placing gently onto of mine, he grabs hold of them and pulls them off of my face, and I see him smiling down at me, which makes me smile.
"No need to be embarrassed Yenessa, but are you really sure? Do you actually want to do this? I want to make sure, your 100% sure about it, because I don't want you to regret it." Luke says. How could I regret becoming one with Luke Hemmings? I mean, yeah I don't have any regrets because I don't like regretting things, I could never be disappointed about becoming one with Luke, I love him for pete's sake! I understand what he means though, in case I'm not actually ready, in case I'm just saying it to make him happy. I'm not though, I'm ready. And it's weird saying I'm ready to 'do it', I would never have decided to do this, this year if I was the same girl at the start of the year, but I guess I'm not that same girl. I'm not a follower anymore, I'm a leader, along with Luke, and the other guys. I'm independent, I guess. I'm sure.
"I couldn't regret it even if I tried too. I'm 100% sure." I say. "Er. . .are you ready, Luke?"
"Yeah, I am. I'm doing this with the girl I love, not with some skank from the Battle of The Bands, but I'm sure us guys are always ready." He says, chuckling. I then start thinking about the protection side of it, I mean I don't want to get pregnant, you know. "So, you want to do it. . .now?"
"Er. . .yeah, only if you do." I say, he nods his head. "Do you er- have- you know, those things?" I ask. If he doesn't, Mum has a bunch in her bed side table, don't ask me why but she does, not only does she have some, I'm sure I still have the two she gave me, when she caught me in a heated make out with Shane, yeah, My mum's pretty chilled I guess.
"No, I d-" I jump up from underneath him, cutting him off. I walk over to my chest of draws, to search for the two Mum gave me. I feel Luke's eyes burning the back of my head, so I turn around and poke my tongue at him.
"You have condoms?" Luke asks.
"Er, yeah. Mum gave me them." I would have told him why she gave me them, but I'm sure no guy likes hearing their girlfriend talk about their ex, I mean I hated it when Shane talked about his ex, so I'm sure guys feel the same way too, plus we're about to 'do it' for pete's sake, know one want's to talk about an ex, seconds before 'doing it'.
"I would ask why, but I have a feeling I don't want to know, or at least I don't want to know right now." Luke says.
"Yeah, you don't want to know right now." I say, digging through my draws. I wiggle my fingers around underneath my socks, and finally feel a square shaped packet. My arms like nearly completely in the draw, you can so tell I wasn't planning on using 'them' anytime soon. I take it out, and shut the draw. I walk back over to my bed, and sit myself down, Luke's sitting crossed legged while staring at the ground. I then hand him the 'thing'. He takes it out of my hand, his eyes still on the ground. I move closer to Luke, and place my hands on his knees. I kiss his cheek, and watch them go red. I forgot, the other reason why he liked kissing my cheek was because he liked watching my cheeks go red just by a simple kiss. That's cute.
"What's up?" I say, smiling, taking my hands off his knees.
"I love you so much and I just don't want you to regret this." He says, looking up into my eyes, his eyes are full of love. I love this boy so much, he's just too caring and he just loves so easily, it's the most beautiful thing ever.
"Luke, I love you so much too. I could never regret doing this with you, I love you. . .a lot. And becoming one with you, I could never regret that, never in a million years." I say, grabbing his hand, intertwining our fingers together. I squeeze his hand. He nods his head, before pressing his lips to mine. He lets go of my fingers, and lays me back down onto my back. I lay my head down onto the pillow, and he hovers above me once more. He breaks the kiss, and places another on my cheek, smiling at me.
He leans down again, and begins kissing me on the neck. His hands move down onto my hips, and he begins pulling my sweatpants down, I help out by wiggling out of them. I then pull my socks off with my feet, don't ask me how I do it, but I can, Mum taught me. So, now my socks, and sweatpants are off and I'm left in my baby blue bra and black undies. Luke eyes search my nearly bare body, and he laughs.
"Shh, Luke. I know, I didn't think this was going to happen today." I say, laughing with him. He smiles.
"It's fine, because you still like beautiful, even in non-matching underwear." He says, laughing. I shove his chest with my hand gently and laugh with him. He then begins taking of his shoes, and pants. He hovers back over me, us both in our underwear. His hands are still gripping my waist, but move down to my hips every once and a while. He bites his lip.
"Your so beautiful, Yenessa. Your skin is so soft, I love the feel of it." He says, smiling down at me, his eyes looking in mine. I smile back at him, and place my hands onto his bare chest, I love the feel of Luke's skin, his skin is quite soft too, not like mine, but it's soft, and I just love the feel of it.
"Thanks, Luke. I like the feel of your skin too, it's quite soft too, in a manly way." I say, making him chuckle. I chuckle too. His hand moves to my hair, and pulls my hair tie out of my hair, letting my hair fall down over my chest.
"I like your hair down, it's pretty." He says, leaning down. He begins kissing my neck again, sucking at the skin. He moves his lips back onto mine, swiping his tongue over my lip, I let his tongue 'explore' my mouth, and the heat comes back. I begin tugging at the sheets.
Luke and I crawl underneath the sheets, they fall down half way down Luke's back, so enough air can still get in under the sheets. I wanted to go under the sheets, because even though there's this heat, I'm still getting goosebumps, and so is Luke, and also. . .I'm kinda insecure about my body, when it's completely bare, I mean I'm sure most girls are.
Luke then moves his lips down onto my chest, he chuckles against my skin, he moves down onto my stomach, then pops his head up, and looks in my eyes. He chuckles, biting his lips.
"I have know idea how- how to have sex, how to start it up and that, so I'm just going to kinda follow what movies do." He says, chuckling. I laugh at him, he's too freaking cute. He isn't lonely though, because I have no idea how to 'do it' too. I nod my head at him.
He doesn't place sloppy kisses, he places nice, soft, caring kisses onto my stomach and then stops when he get's close to my underwear, he then chuckles. He looks up at me, and smiles before tugging at the fabric, covering up that area. He ends up hooking his fingers into the sides of my undies, and begins pulling them down. He looks at me, as he pulls them off of me completely.
"It's odd. Neither of us know how to do this." he says, smiling up at me. He moves up, and presses a kiss onto my lips. I nod my head.
"Yeah, we have no idea. But I guess that's what could make it special. We're both loosing our virginity together." I say. This doesn't even sound like me, I'm talking about virginity, wow.
He smiles at me, and pulls off his underwear too. I pick up the 'thing' from the side of the bed, where he left it and hand it too him. He presses a kiss onto my lips. He moves his lips off of mine, and begins opening up the packet. He sits the empty packet on my bedside table.
"Do I need to help you? You know, put that on?" I say, motioning to the. . .condom in his hand, he bites his lip and thinks for a moment. He begins to nod, but then shakes his head, while smiling at him. He fiddles around underneath the blanket.
"It would be awkward if you helped me." He says, smiling.
"Yeah, it would." I say, chuckling, he chuckles with me.
He tells me he slipped on the condom on, from there he kisses me, and we make sure we keep eye contact, it would be weird if we didn't. He kisses my neck, sucking my skin. He keeps his hands on my waist the whole time, and keeps asking me if it hurts, he's gentle, and so sweet. I know I won't ever regret what's currently happening, it hurts a bit, but pleasure takes over.