It was dark, I was cold and everything had become horrible in just the past days.
I walked to the park which wasn’t far away, and sat down on a bench right below a light that was still on. I just needed some time to think.
First of all, my job.
I liked what I did, but ever since I took it, my life had gotten worse than it was before. Stress, exhaustion, everything. This is not how I imagined it would be.
But look on the bright side. The dancing got me to meet the boys. And Harry.
Oh yes, the boys and Harry. That would be my second point.
Him and the boys have made me feel like I have finally found a family. A real one. A family that cares and loves each other, nothing like my non-existing real one.
But then, this has also brought problems. What was I thinking? Me befriending or dating a pop-star? That worked out didn’t it… But I knew it would be hard, and I knew there would be lots of things to get through, but it had gotten too far.
Harry. He is gorgeous, he is wonderful, he is sweet, he is sexy, he has an amazing voice, he is funny, he is kind…He is everything. I was never even thinking about his fame or fortune.
And there is my third and final point. Money.
Money makes the world go round, as some may say.
On many people’s minds money is all they ever worry and have to care about, but then there are those who don’t even realize the value of it and just throw it away into private jets or a big fancy house at the beach that the only visit for a weekend every 2 years.
I know, money has been a problem in our family, but we’ve never really needed it. We didn’t worry about it that much, and everything was fine.
I must admit, there were moments when I would have done anything to just see a dollar once in a while, but I never let it get to me. Why do people think it had gotten to me now?
Just a few hours after I get accused of using someone to get some many and me promising that I would never do it, my dad shows up dead sick at my door and wants me to do exactly that. It’s a bitch, isn’t it.
My dad. My final and biggest problem.
I know, I barely even see him and I was doing fine without him, but he is my dad after all. He is the only real biological family I have left in this whole world. He is my last real relative I have, and he is dying.
Just because he is dying, doesn’t mean I should use someone to get money though. He has never been there for me. Never. When I was sick, I had to take care of myself. When I needed money, I could get it myself somehow. When I got into trouble, I could get myself back out all by myself. Why couldn’t he?
Even though it may seem like I would be fine off without him, I wouldn’t. I see him almost only once a year, and not for very long, and now I can even provide money for myself because I have a job, and I am almost a fully grown woman making her own decisions, I do need him.
Every time I worry about anything, usually just the thought that I do have someone out there, he doesn’t need to be next to me, but he is out there in the world somewhere, and if I do need him, he can help me, and he is family, that usually calms me down.
It makes me feel like I am not so alone in the world. Like I do have someone.
But am I willing to sacrifice this much for him?
Eugh, my head was spinning. I didn’t even know where left or right was anymore.
But I had made a decision. I can’t just make these choices all by myself in one night while sitting in a lonely, dark and cold park. I needed help. But who?
The first name that came to my mind was Harry. Well, that wouldn’t work since he was one of the problems.
How about Louis? He was almost like a brother to me. A baby brother, but he could be mature at times when I needed him. But he was too close to Harry and all the others. It wouldn’t end well either.
Maybe Gina? I may not know her for very long, but she is my best friend. She knows everything about me. But can she help? She isn’t a lot older than me, she doesn’t have any experience in this. Even though she may have her own opinion and could help me, I don’t know if they would really fix anything. She is a perfect friend, but not for these sorts of decisions. She is the type of person I need to tell stuff to that nobody else should know about. Things where she can support me, not interfere with my decision, especially not on one so big.
Then he came to mind. Brian!
Brian is the old bar tender and he is a really close friend. He has helped me so many times before, he is almost like a father to me. A good father.
I quickly grabbed my stuff and started running out of the park. I needed to see if Brian would still be in the bar at this time. I hoped so.
I sprinted through the streets. There weren’t a lot of people, but quite a few. They all gave me weird looks as I swung passed.
Some probably thought I was insane, others might have even recognized me, but I didn’t care. I would probably never even see these people in my life again.
Just around the corner, I reached the bar. The light was still on, good.
I slowly opened the door and was greeted by that yet so homelike alcohol and smoke smell. The room was quite dark, but I could see Brian just cleaning the beer glasses behind the counter.
He looked up, and a smile formed on his face as he recognized me.
“Hello luv,” He put the glass down and leaned on the counter. “How have you been?”
I sighed a sigh of relief and slowly walked towards the bar where I sat down on one of the stools.
“Well, things have kinda turned to shit.” I said sarcastically and looked back at him.
Brian just chuckled a little, and then we talked.
We talked for ages and ages. I loved Brian. I could tell him anything. He made me feel so welcome and comfortable. I do hope I didn’t bore him with anything though, but he seemed very interested.
Once I had told him everything I could, he stood back up and took a deep breath. “You weren’t kidding when you said everything turned to shit, did yeh?”
I smiled a little. I was hoping he had a solution. Just anything to help.
“Well,” he began. “I must say, I have no idea what you should do here. Many of those problems are problems that nobody should ever face. Tricky and devious problems, where there is no real answer. But if I were you darling, I would know the solution to one of them.”
“What?” Just one solution is fine by me. I just needed something.
“Don’t let anyone get you down. You really love that pop-star boy, don’t ya?” He looked me straight in the eyes. “If you do, then don’t let anything come between you two. Not money, not those stupid interviewers or paparazzi’s, not even your sick father. These things don’t matter when you are dealing with true love.”
He may be a lonely old drunk, but he spoke the truth.
I nodded. I couldn’t really say anything, but I didn’t have to.
“Good,” Brian said, “If you don’t have any place to stay, you can stay here with me if you want. I am always here to listen, you know that, right princess?”
I nodded again, this time with a small smirk.
“There we go, you look much better with a smile.” He smiled at me, and then returned to cleaning the glasses.
- ding-ding ding-ding –
My phone started ringing.
At first it scared me, but then I got really curious to who would call me now.
I checked the caller’s ID, but I didn’t know this phone number. For some reason, I was hoping it was Harry, or my dad, but it made me very interested to see who it was.
“Hello?” I asked into the phone. A woman’s voice answered back.
“Hello,” She sounded very nice, but I had no idea who she was. “Is this Jessica Stonem?”
“Yes…” I thought it was strange that someone I didn’t even know knew me. Even though this situation isn’t that bad, that bad gut feeling started to crawl up again. “Who are you? Why are you calling me?”
“My name is Jennifer Kern,” She was talking in a very calm voice. “I am calling from the St. Jules Hospital…”
That gut feeling once again became 5 times it’s size. It’s that feeling where you think you are going to throw up at any time, but you can’t because you are too shocked and scared.
“Why,” that was all I managed to get out.
I couldn’t.
She cleared her throat, and then continued. “I am calling about Dylan Stonem, your father…”
Author's Note - ★
I thought I would just put a small one at the end :)
Yes, I know it is getting a bit deep and heavy, but I promise it will get better very soon! There will only be a couple more chapters, then my story is done, so I do need to tie up all the lose endings, and I promise I will.
Also, as a small sneek peak, Harry and the boys will be back a lot in the next chapter. I know it was all about Jess and her dad, blah blah blah, but the romance and hotness of the boys will be back next time, so just hang in there!
Thank you for everything, really, and I hope I do stop putting all these Author's Notes things in almost every chapter... Sorry :/
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