It never occurred to me that I had to wear a freakin' small scrap of clothing as was a requirement for all muses. I had expected to wear a dress, sure. But not the kind that was so short that the hem of the skirt ended mid-thigh! To make matters worse, it had to be color yellow because I was representing Aureus Polaris (I wasn't paying attention when they came up with the team name. I was told it should mean Golden Star).
I didn't know which one to be appalled by—the length of the skirt or the color of the dress. I knew I had once dreamt of wearing yellow-colored clothing. But only if I wasn't tan at birth!
"What are you so worried about?" Lexi seemed perplexed at my predicament. "You're wearing cycling shorts underneath. Even if the wind blew and lifted your skirt, we won't see anything."
"That's very thoughtful of you, Lexi, thanks," I sarcastically muttered, looking at my reflection in the mirror wearing the hideous thing.
"And you have great legs. You have to show it off more often."
I waved my hand at her, dismissing her patronizing comment. "This is just... do you see the effect of yellow on my skin?" Take note, it wasn't pale yellow. It's the shade that hurt the eye when under direct sunlight. I was afraid anyone who looked at me would get visually impaired.
"It's bright. You'll stand out. If you'd ask me, that works to your advantage," Lexi pointed out and headed to the door to open it after we heard several knocks.
Right. This looking for a silver lining in everything took practice. Especially for someone like me who had been in a gloomy, negative mood for all of my life.
Mama came in with refreshments. She managed to put down the tray on my study table before gushing, "Oh my goodness! You look absolutely gorgeous, Felicity!" For her satisfaction, she requested for me to do a complete turn which I reluctantly did. "Kalagu mo! You're so beautiful!"
"I told you," Lexi seconded matter-of-factly. "She's concerned that yellow doesn't fit her skin color, Tita."
Mama shook her head and held my shoulders at an arm's length. "Any color will look good on you." She led me to the full-length mirror and stood beside me. "You just have to stand straight," she pushed my back inwards, pulled back my shoulders and gently, lifted my chin up. "And feel confident knowing that you are beautiful. Repeat that over and over until you start to feel that way. Don't forget to smile. It will radiate to people around you."
🏀🌞🏀
It was the opening day of St. Matthew's Intramurals. And I had been receiving odd stares when I emerged from the Home Economics room (it was Aureus Polaris' assigned dressing room) wearing the short, bright yellow dress. I wore an equally-bright yellow headband, pulling my bangs back which was something new. I had been so used to hiding behind the wall that was my hair, hunched my back, so that I wouldn't be a walking target. To be honest, I still felt like one. My brain still churned out nasty comments just by the fact that out of all the more eligible females in our team, I was voted to be the muse. From the years of paying more attention to the negative comments, it took a while to block the snickers, to ignore the shady looks thrown at my direction. Remembering Mama's words, I headed to the area where I knew the people who mattered, waited for me.
The people who mattered were much more than a handful, it seemed. Because Mama, Papa and Kuya Six—came with moral support—the entire San Rafael Voyagers—to see the Intramurals. 'Embarrassed' wouldn't even describe the way I felt when I met with my parents only to find out there's a whole battalion of them waiting for me at the canteen. The way they started fussing all over me, shoving at each other for selfies with me, turned curious heads and I wanted to sink into a hole.
"You... I... wow," L stammered as he looked me up and down when he joined us. "You're like a different person. I mean..." he blinked, several times, words failing him.
My cheeks burned and I bit my tongue so I wouldn't grin like a fool. "T-thanks. W-Where's Kuya?"
"Oh, he's with your best friend, I think," he replied, looking distracted.
"I...see," I mused, wondering why Kuya Six was with Lexi.
"Would you like to take a photo with her too, L?" Mama helpfully egged on.
"Sure, totally. That would be great, Tita. That would be lovely. I mean, thank you," he gushed, stepping beside me. He extended his arm, as if to put it around me but thought better of it (maybe because my parents were there) and let it fall limp on his sides instead.
I unleashed the grin I had been holding back. Because this was historical! I had thought a photo with L would just be a figment of my imagination. But it was happening! I couldn't wait for this day to be over so I could print our first ever photo together!
"This might me a little too early," L chuckled nervously, scratching his nape as he looked away. I realized, he was also turning a shade darker. He was blushing!
"W-what is it?"
"I hope it wouldn't be in conflict with your JS prom. But just in case, I'd like you to be my partner for our prom at Deballare?"
I was too stunned to respond. I had never imagined my crush to ask me to be his date! I racked my brain to form a coherent answer to his invitation without foaming at the mouth.
"Your dress is too short." Kuya's voice was grim, interrupting the moment, with my best friend in tow.
"I told you," I glared at Lexi who, unlike me, was wearing a white shirt and a yellow bandana tied around her neck.
Lexi rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand. "The program's about to start. Where the heck is--oh, there he is."
As if they were still in the exhibition game, the Voyagers stood alert, most of them stepped closer to me as if to protect me when North made his way to our group. Which I found unnecessary. North was only a guest player for the Comets, surely, there was no need to be aggressive towards him like he'd hurt me any time. He'd had plenty of chances to do that. But he didn't.
Meanwhile, North looked equally tense when he stiffly nodded at my team, both hands shoved inside his jogging pants' pockets.
I had never expected to meet anyone who could rock yellow jacket, white undershirt and yellow jogging pants the way North did. If seeing him in the usual uniform made him stand out, his aura demanded attention now. Heck, I couldn't even peel my eyes off him that Lexi took it upon herself to introduce him to my parents.
"He's your escort?" L's voice was a welcome distraction. But even then, I could only dip my chin to answer his question.
Papa was quietly saying something to North when they approached me and Mama had an ear-splitting grin on. "You guys should also take a photo!" That and she grabbed both my arm and North's pushing us closer together to snap a photo I didn't dare look at.
The horn blaring signalled the countdown to the program proper and our group dispersed.
🏀🌞🏀
North didn't talk or look at me the whole time we stood under the shade of the acacia tree, waiting for our names to be called for the parade of muses. To dismiss the feeling of dread that I kept holding at bay, I clenched and unclenched my fists also to fight the urge to scratch my face to wipe off the light makeup I had on.
Maybe he felt the uneasiness gnawing at me that he stood almost a foot away the entire time. He must have realized the stark contrast between us—how I'd seem darker and him, fairer—and how funny our pairing should look from the guests' eyes.
The Red Team's pair was just called when he groaned and took that irrevocable step I wouldn't have taken on my own.
We were so close now, standing side-by-side, that I could already feel the heat off him.
"You...you look...different," North mumbled, still looking straight at the field surrounded by students and guests alike.
Maybe we could wing it afterall so I heaved a deep sigh and did my best to go with the flow. "Different as in? Different, bad?"
"Absolutely not. You look nice, I mean... pretty. You look...radiant today," he stammered. From my peripheral view, it was easy to see his cheeks coloring.
"Thanks. I'm aiming for radiant. You look pretty today, too," I chuckled, linking arms with him because it was almost our turn.
"I told you, handsome is the word," he corrected me, placing my hand more comfortably around his. "Did something good happen? You seem happy. You look happy," he commented as we shuffled closer to the edge of the open field.
"I decided to live up to my name, that's what."
"I thought your name meant 'good fortune'?"
"It also means 'happiness'." With everything that happened in the past months, things were finally looking up for me. Scratch that. Things had been looking up for me for the longest time, I was just looking at it through heavy-tinted lenses. It was high time to switch to rose-colored lenses, so to speak. Besides, I'd take happy over good fortune anytime.
"It must be this yellow dress." North touched my skirt ever so lightly but I felt his touch. Like a low-buzz of electricity. "Such a happy color. It looks good on you. We make each other stand out, don't you think?"
I beamed at him because that was what I needed to dispel the unpleasant thoughts fighting for airtime in my mind.
"Representing Aureus Polaris are Team Captain North Vergara, and first-ever female basketball player of St. Matthews, Felicity Ventura."
Stand straight. Chin up. Feel confident and beautiful. Smile.
I stepped under the glaring heat of the late morning sun, arm-in-arm with North, and walked around the field, waving at everyone and no one.
"You do know I wasn't kidding with everything I said, right?" North whispered as we took our time to traverse the perimeter of the field, our gazes locked directly ahead of us.
"Which one?" I asked back, keeping my smile in place, thinking how I'd rather sweat under the sun, playing basketball, than doing the smile and wave routine. I could already feel my face cramping up.
He turned to me every so slightly and whispered. "Everything. That I preferred looking at you over the other girls in this entire campus. Or that I could be more than a friend."
Maybe it was the sun beating down on us that caused my face to heat up. I could only manage a non-committal noise because I didn't know how to react to that. Heck, I still didn't know how to react to L's invitation and now this?
"I'm just saying, y' know. I mean, I'm not rushing you or anything. I just wanted you to know in case other guys start asking you out."
"I'll...I'll keep that in mind."
For the first time in a long time, I had never felt so happy, tall, dark and proud.
🏀🌞🏀 FIN 🏀🌞🏀