Fire.
All he could see was fire.
Endless fire that stretched towards an unknowable horizon that dipped and coiled against a broken sky. The artificial dome of the Divide that rarely came into view was blocked by sheer, endless rock that never crumbled despite the chuck of earth that had been cleared from seemingly nothing. Despite all of that, Hawkins had always felt...connected. Until now.
"Rin! Rin!"
Mantis' coughing fit broke him out of his haze, the dust built up from the grit and gravel of collapsed buildings had clearly decayed from more than age. The once familiar streets of Axis churned into a grey mass of haze not even Hawkins could see through. Strange, clinging vines of gossamer green wisps clung to his dishevelled shirt like creepy spider webs that emerged from the ground only to be burnt up by the excess blast.
The knot in Hawkins stomach wouldn't go away.
It was the same gut feeling that had plunged him into Memoriam's grasp and tinged every step forwards since then. It was the fear of being lost to time that Gizmo had insisted was anything but good news. It was the gut punch of betrayal over and over that would not leave his mind no matter how many times it happened. He always forgave and part of him hated it. Odi had lied yet here she was falling into step with him, calling out just as desperately as the others.
"Rin! Where are you?"
Mantis had already charged ahead, the streak of silver, patchy hair was cut raggedly from her earlier head injury, his flames unable to restore the fibres from such a wound. The only thing Hawkins could follow in the dense fog of smoke was the dull aquamarine glow of August's wings blurring alongside her. Despite all the pain, all the aching tiredness that refused to leave him Hawkins forced himself not to leave the Air Traited behind.
Much like a ship cutting through the ice, the awkward shapes of dense rubble veered into them, threatening to break their footing but Hawkins could sense the others through the lessening smoke. He started subconsciously counting every new building and analysing every brick and window pane, absentmindedly picking out a stone in his mind as a point of navigation. He couldn't help but recognise this place despite the rubble beneath their feet.
A familiar wave of unease made him feel too warm despite only wearing a long sleeved shirt for the cold night air. He instinctively patted himself down for any sign of the black grimoire like trying to extinguish a fire but the threadbare book had doubled in number as a familiar notebook fell open. It was Rin's.
The hollow ache of her absence surged him forwards, breaking Hawkins from the familiar pull of knowing more about Memoriam's addictive embrace and tucked the notebook close to his chest. The sound of rushing flame and cracking Trait grew louder but the only thing Hawkins could focus on was the sound of a child sobbing.
"Rin!"
He called out once more, startled by the familiar shape of a galloping Odi, curving her wings into herself as she gave Hack and the Tinker Mole's a much needed lift. His stomach untwisted a little at the sound of a familiar voice being so upset, blinking in the low light despite the familiar rise of the Hanging Sun. Another day stuck here. He didn't know how long they'd last.
"You OK, boyo?"
Hawkins nodded, shivering at how easy it was for him to slip into the half aware state for Memoriam to exploit but a familial shove from Cull barely a few staggering steps behind them. The gruff Fire Traited inclined his head towards an eternally puzzled elven, desperately scanning around the sepia tinged stronghold around them.
"Ashes....blood and ashes." Hawkins swore before he could stop himself, his eyes casting over the broken pillars that made up the large pile of discarded pages.
Not ordinary pages. Grimoires. Discarded grimoires.
The contorted spines, broken locks and shreds of decorative binding might've looked like a bibliographer's worst nightmare but no sane Traited passed through an ashen streaked graveyard without stopping to realise the truth. All of these ashes, all of these grimoires had been people. Innocent people. Far more than they had ever imagined.
Memoriam shoved the vision in front of his eyes before Hawkins could even blink.
Crowds trapped and clustered together only to be ripped apart by demons, Traited or worse. His fellow Mediators tried to keep pace and calm the crowd but one after the other they fell to the alluring curse of Truancy, calling out for help only to rip out their own grimoire in a state of madness.
The Trollians who dared to help or flee were lost to the same choking fog tinged not in an eerie green but a deep, dark blue. Almost an exact replica of Lady Nivara Cross: the leader of the Sixth Order and the Regent of Opalis.
Hawkins scanned the area with the clear intent of finding her signature blue cloak but before his hazy vision could refocus Memoriam's sepia-touched vision blinked out. Hawkins stopped in his tracks.
The familiar pillars of the Halls of Mediation had toppled to the ground in a perfect cross, the gravel mixing the fallen with every step they took. Hawkins wanted to vomit, but the clinging, pale hand on his sleeve forced him to remain a pillar of strength despite everything the Enforcers had unknowingly done to help cause this.
This was all because of him. He had the black grimoire: Memoriam. None of this would have happened without that stupid-
Mantis' strangled cry broke Hawkins out of his hollow grief, half dragging the missing twin towards the murky pile of ashes that reached their knees. She had already reached the faint outline of a dim amber lantern, desperately digging out the soot covered frame of a young woman clinging to a child much like a mother would.
Cricket.
Wreathed protectively behind her were two familiarly furry bodies, barely breathing as if the gentlest of touches would turn them to ash alongside them. Hawkins' heart broke the moment he saw the once brazen Firestep wolves now haggard from hunger, grievous scars covering Blaize. Her twin Hazard, had a large chunk of sinewy jaw barely entact beneath a pustule covered eye barely open by burns. He didn't need to guess what caused it. Who...caused it.
"I can't do it. I can't do it."
Mantis wrenched back as if being badly burnt, her hands trembling at the sight of the rarely seen crimson blood that came before the Eternal Death. A rusted dagger, no bigger than her wrist lay embedded in her palm, constantly phasing in and out of existence. It was like holding a piece of pure sunlight but everytime she did a part of it shattered. It was her Trait weapon but much like his own, it was barely holding on.
"Why can't I do it?"
Rin's frail frame leaned ever tighter against the cascade of black sand like ash, drifting in and out of unconsciousness even as Mantis tried to gently rouse her. Her eyes glassy and unfocused no longer burned with the vigour to learn, but only focused on the small, blind girl resting beside her. An obsession rather than the urge to protect.
"Can't do what, Rin?"
Hawkins sucked in a breath, unsure of how to proceed but the ache in his chest betrayed what needed to be done. Closing his eyes to the carnage he compartmentalised each and every detail he picked up on. It had felt like years since he had grumbled about his Sentry training to eventually be recognised as a Mediator.
Listening to mundane stories and petty crimes only to stumble across the first major incident of his career since he graduated. He hadn't expected to be punished by forces outside of his control. This was the very first time he felt like all that training had been worth it in the end. Despite all the grievous injuries, numerous questions and unnecessary lives taken he was here right now and he could put his skills to good use.
Hawkins opened his eyes.
The tingling of the black grimoires' pull felt like a distant memory.
"I need to...I need to..."
Hawkins tried to steady his breathing, the realisation emerging sluggishly with every curl of his fists. The gashes on Rin's shoulders, the pinpricks of lance like wounds on Cricket's arms, the brick dust on her fingers still soaked from earlier rain that didn't cover the whole area.
Cricket's foetal position hid most of her injuries but the burn scars differed from the wounds she had suffered indirectly from Cull's hands. The mottled scabbed over skin was already healing like a flash fire of brief desperation and hesitation but this...this was intentional.
It was like her chest had been carved out with someone's bare knuckles, choosing to use a blunt instrument that rippled over her skin like wasps burrowing beneath it. But the strangest, most horrifying thing wasn't the bloated redness of her skin or the misshapen concave within her skull but the loud, sharp sound of cracking stone. Not stone. Bone.
"Hawky?"
Hawkins' breath caught in his throat.
With every shallow rise and fall of Cricket's chest, her ribs realigned, recentred and slotted back into place again only for the impact to recoil back into her body and shatter. Cricket was reliving the injury over and over again. Necromancy.
Hawkins couldn't look away at the exposed heart, his own breathing matching in time with her own no matter how much he tried to ignore it. He didn't know how she was still alive. Part of him didn't want to know. Hawkins wanted to wretch, his stomach gurgling without any sustenance in hours but he forced it down, looking up at the sky to stop his eyes from watering.
Moisture dripped from the broken stone, forcing him to wipe away tears he didn't realise he still had for the young Traited. Whatever this was, whatever happened to Cricket...she was in so much pain that all her body could do was re-experience the impact over and over again. It was a far cry from whatever Hack had attempted but it still soured every uttering of the phrase.
"Hack was right. I need to finish this myself."
Rin's voice was barely a whisper but her jaw clenched with determination, gripping the glass like blade in her hand even as blood threatened to drip onto the ground. Hawkins wanted to reach out to them both and pry it from her hands, but he was too shaken up.
"Rin, we need to get you to a healer! Hawky can-"
Mantis was cut off by a guttural scream, startling everyone to dart about and search for the Overtaken only to look down in horror.
"No!"
"No. He lied to us. He said he didn't know. But he does. He's just lying to himself." Rin repeated over and over again, her steely glare maddened by everything she had seen but being unable to speak of it.
"Rinelle, what happened to you? You disappeared...."
"Mantis."
Hawkins gently placed a hand on Mantis' shoulder, the Air Traited flinching while August flared his wings and threatened to peck him to death. He lowered his head in recognition, giving Mantis the space to spend near Rin despite all the destruction around them. He had seen this before but that didn't make it any easier.
He winced at the memory of his father's face. It was the first time he saw his mother's anger redirected at someone else. Hawkins had flinched, more stunned she hadn't aimed her ire at him and rather at the once upstanding noblewoman who had threatened her job.
Threatening the hero of the Burning Wall was one thing but Kalaris Hawkinson did not allow anyone to disrespect her Trait. That was all she had cared about, her Trait. Hawkins Trait had been the only one in their family besides her to be a Dual Traited, leaving him depressed and broken the moment she found him more akin to a Smoke Traited than her own coveted Ash Trait. He had been broken by the promise of his own Trait and now, Rin's eyes mirrored exactly the same thing.
"Don't tell me not to...." Mantis said, her half formed thoughts barely audible under her breath.
Hawkins didn't have to make much of a mental leap to guess what she was about to say. He hesitated, struggling to decide on a course of action despite trying to give Mantis enough space and let her know he was here to support. The others had already tried to figure out their bearings, struggling to do the same as if locked in a moment in time with every second they wasted.
The slow ache in his wrists confirmed what Hawkins already knew, the weight on his already heavy shoulders refusing to ease long enough to help heal what little injuries he could. Frustratedly, his foot scraped across the ground and sprayed himself with murky water despite the dry, cracked ground beneath his ash covered foot.
"I should've been there! I should've protected her! Now look what's happened? I should never have let her..."
Mantis' eyes burned into Cricket's skull, Hawkins immediately side stepped in front of the sleeping child to try and limit the elf's tunnel vision. Peaceful but hauntingly, Cricket let out silent breaths that somehow kept her alive but Mantis didn't care. The condensed air shields she had used back when they first met slammed into him at full force but somehow Hawkins stayed on his feet and took the brunt of the attack.
"Don't. Not even she's worth it, Mantis." Hawkins spat, grunting from the pain even as his knees threatened to buckle beneath him.
Hack lunged to defend him but Hawkins stuck out a hand to stop him, the hazy ring of people still not knowing how to move or interject. Gidget clung to his uncle, Gizmo's mouth set in determination to shield his nephew from the view despite the Miner Crafter attempting to mutter a wayward prayer. He couldn't even look at Odi.
"You don't even know what she did to us."
Mantis' memories flashed by in a kaleidoscope of colour, Hawkins gritting his teeth to stop himself from crying out in pain. The sheer tumultuous mess of emotions Memoriam slammed into him was enough to render him weak and breathless but the searing logic in his brain stubbornly refused to give in.
"Yes, I do. I saw...how Cricket became the way she is. Memoriam showed me everything." Hawkins admitted, trying to rid himself of the guilt but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop his voice from breaking.
Taking a deep breath he forced himself to stay calm, the smoke wall surging up from the ground obscured the two in greyscale. The tremor in the ground was enough of a sign that the Sand Wraith was aware of their position despite failing to stop everything he had tried to protect him from.
"Then Rin is right. You're a fucking hypocrite, Hawkinson."
The pit in Hawkins stomach turned sour, swallowing his frustrations down in favour of focusing on Mantis. Her Trait weapon had somehow merged with Rin's broken one, the familiar silvery, translucent hilt of her Air Trait merged with the fragile, broken amber of tempered flame.
"Give me the knife, Mantis."
His analytic mind latched onto the chipped blade somehow forged together through sheer spite alone, Mantis' desperately trying to reach Cricket's unconscious form.
Hawkins was done trying to make sense of how her injuries had been possible, just that it was and it was moving towards him at rapid speed.
"Why should I? Because you're good and right, just like all high and mighty Mediators should be, huh? You've always thought you were better than us because of your damn Trait or the bloody Keeper's or whatever it is you're still searching for! At least I have an Agar-"
"Mantis!"
Mantis' blade stopped inches away from Thea's abdomen.
No one said anything.
Thea's chin was raised, her eyes far sterner than Hawkins had ever seen them but despite all of her insecurities towards the strange, gossamer-like bird August lowered his head in respect. The Thyraxian hovered gracefully between the two, close enough to see the details in her wings, the nervous buzzing of her flickering antenna the only thing to betray her sheer terror at coming so close to death.
Her eyes met with her Agar.
Mantis' expression changed within a matter of seconds, caught between fury, regret, grief and sadness only to settle on an impassive emptiness that made Hawkins tear up. Ever so gently, Thea reached out to the newly set dagger and smiled soberly, touching the tip of the blade without so much as a hint of hesitation.
The makeshift weapon shattered.
Mantis' resolve crumpled alongside it, all the strength left her and Hawkins was there to meet her halfway. Her weight was feather light, wrapped in a hug that didn't need to say anything more. Mantis' sobs rang in his ears long after she let go, clinging to him the same way Cricket had clung to the only scrap of comfort she had.
"I just...I just wanted her to be OK. For the first time in my life I...I just wanted someone I loved to...to stay."
The knot in his chest loosened a little, the ache of all the last battles and arguments washing away the tainted memories he had been forced to witness. He finally understood. He didn't need the black grimoire to show him anything.
The breach of trust Mantis had replaced with a constant cycle of abandonment finally broke away at the seams, her walls crumbling with every conversation she chose to share. Hawkins didn't need to predict or theorise anymore about Mantis' past. She would tell him on her terms.
"It's OK, it's OK to want that. Of course you want that. But don't give up on her yet. Don't give up on yourself either, alright?" Hawkins mumbled, ignoring everything around them just for a moment.
Mantis nodded wordlessly, sniffing to hide her tears with her sleeve while she broke out of the hug and turned away. She couldn't bring herself to look at Rin, at Cricket or even Odi and Hack. The only one who could hold her full attention was the one who broke her out of her anger. Her Agar, Thea.
Hawkins stepped away from the tender moment between Thyraxian and Traited...well, Caster. Odi did not react, the old dragon attempting to hide her own involvement as if she didn't already know the chain reaction she had willingly started to save herself.
Thea coiled around her neck, cuddling her close and playfully berated her enough to make Mantis laugh. Hawkins blinked. Her laugh wasn't pure or melodious but harsh and grating but for the first time since she barged into Odi's library he saw her. Mantis. Not as a hardass Enforcer, or a brutish thug but as a barely functioning adult struggling to cling to the first semi stable, familiar group they had. Just like Hack. Just like...their boss Hornet...just like everyone burdened with the Eternal Death.
"Is everyone alright?"
Thea's calming voice broke him out of his stupor, the whirring escalation of emergency forcing him to catch his breath to stop himself from spiralling. The flash of a gun muzzle, the look on his parents face, his mother's screams of horror, the constant ringing in his ears became a continuous blur of memories until his eyes fell on Cricket.
"Hack. What did you tell, Rin?" Hawkins asked calmly, leaning back just enough to meet his mentor's eyes.
Hack couldn't meet his gaze. Transfixed on the ground, the Sand Wraith tottered from foot to foot almost trapped in indecision to rush over and help or let this endless discussion of what to do peeter out until there was no time left. His fist curled and uncurled over and over, his nails digging into his scales only for his expression to harden and unravel into anger, guilt and...shame.
"I just told her to have more faith in her Trait, y'know? I didn't tell her to bloody go off on her own and assassinate the kid, boyo!"
"That sounds pretty accurate to me-"
"Shut up, Gizmo!"
The outcry that echoed around the desolate area hit Hawkins like a whiplash, haunting him the moment the sound fizzled into a static image of every soul, every silhouette that had been killed in this place. The noose of people around the Tinker Mole tightened until the Sand Wraith broke the circle.
"No. I...He's right. Gizmo's right. I drove Cricket to this when I fought her. I knew she was doing this but I did nothing. I only focused on myself and you and when Odi was hurt I snapped and that's exactly what I did to Anirri-"
Hack couldn't finish his sentence.
The scent of rain halted his outburst, the sickly, oily smell hitting them all as a clear and distinct warning to anyone left alive that they wouldn't be any longer. Hawkins closed his eyes, breathing calmly despite the spike of anxiety in the air and focused on the only logic that mattered. Reina was getting closer.
"I know what you did, Kinslayer. I know about the Green Seas war, the prison of Hacksin and the Raven Lord himself. I know and I don't give a fuck. Besides, you aren't responsible for Cricket's actions and neither is Rin."
Mantis buffeted the cloying scent of Reina's Water Trait with her winds, its soft, clean scent riding any traces of the filth the Singfall siren intended to inflict. What was once interpreted as anger on Hack's face hollowed out in shame at the blame he felt for only being able to see a monster who had turned so many people to ash.
"Yes I am. It's my fault. If I was stronger I would've...I could've...I need to...I need to..."
Mantis slowly crouched down in the muck and ash, Rin's notebook tucked under the crook of her arm. Hawkins fought the urge to laugh, her pickpocketing ways still startling him even after everything. Rin's broken laugh made Hawkins flinch, her vacant stare warping into his father's face until a flash of light forced him to look away.
"You need to rest, Rin."
"No, I..."
Rin refused to let go, the shard of amber glass cutting into her palm but Mantis' sleight of hand put her notebook at the forefront, her dagger disappearing the moment the weapon struck the cover. Rin's focus that had drifted now became razor sharp, piercing the book with everything she had until finally all of that tension was released in a single moment. The amber blade dropped into Mantis' palm.
"I'm going to hang onto this, OK? Let us heal the Vargar's and we'll have Hack keep an eye on things. No one will touch anything without you saying so. Promise."
Hawkins' sluggish brain slowly put the pieces together, his mouth open not in shock or horror but stunned at the simplicity of Mantis' plan. The tinge of betrayal faded the moment Rin's face relaxed into a haze of hesitant calm and lucid unconsciousness.
"On your Trait?"
Odi let out a sharp intake of breath.
Hawkins could feel the dragon's nervousness like a wave of sickness hitting with every shaky breath Rin took. Mantis tried to brush the grime and moisture from her face with a shaky hand, hiding the false grimoire turned notebook behind her back.
"I swear on my Trait."
Almost like a magical tether that stretched silently between the two, the amber glow around Rin became merged with a soft, aqua hue into a dim burgundy that ebbed and flowed like a wordless contract. Hawkins bit his lip, half hoping, praying someone, anyone would comment on it but the only response he got was the stifled breath he was holding.
"This is all well and good but what about Rin? She won't let Thea or you near...it's like she doesn't want to be healed..." Cull said, folding his arms like a petulant child.
Hawkins closed his eyes in frustration, rubbing his temple to give himself some kind of focus instead of the nagging anger from the Fire Traited and his pointed words. He knew as a trained Mediator that it was all bravado through anxiety at seeing a close loved one being hurt but Cull always seemed to have a knack of saying exactly the wrong thing at exactly the right time.
No one saw Mantis move.
Hawkins had seen a moving bullet before. He saw it every time he fell asleep and every time he woke. Memoriam had used its abilities ruthlessly but not once, not once had the black haze obscured the memory from his vision. It was important. He hated it, despised it but he still tore through the reminder of his fear and put himself in harm's way.
"Wait, Mantis. Hear him out."
Mantis' punch skimmed passed his ear, astounded by the sheer force behind it despite the ache that clearly lingered in all of them. Hawkins couldn't blame her for reacting in such a way, recalling every time he had defended Hack despite everyone else's justified anger towards him.
"What the fuck was that for?"
Hawkins forced himself to ignore the Fire Traited, taking a deep breath just to feel a little less fatigued and tried to focus his attention on what he was missing. The heat surrounding him wasn't stifling or unbearable but calming even as the Infernal Triad continued to drift between the twins.
It was like the grimoire just as conflicted as they were, trying to keep itself together while deciding what to do about its two holders but something about it seemed...off. The seams that were once far darker against the eerie backdrop seemed to brighten into an unfamiliar hue of amber, Rin's strangled breaths becoming clearer with every flare of its pages.
"Tell me now. Clearly. What did you see?" Hawkins said, trying not to raise his voice and keep the emotion out of it.
Cull's eyes wouldn't leave his sisters.
The once coal black grimoire shook off the hatred and guilt of their Enforcer legacy, Rin's complexion becoming a touch brighter, the rising of her chest becoming a little stronger even as the blood dried far quicker than anyone expected. Hawkins blinked, trying to clear the haze of exhaustion but still Rin began to stir ever so slightly. Rin had her grimoire at her side. Cricket, however, did not.
"Cricket she's...she's been Scourged by necromancy. They both have. I've...seen it before. You can't just boost their Trait or heal their grimoire like you've been doing. It'll...It'll make it worse."
The fragile sense of control shattered under the weight of Cull's words, the flashes of a young woman clinging to a baby that wasn't hers, her face bruised and burned by her own Trait as she delved into necromancy to cope with the pain of losing her children.
Memoriam didn't need to show him anymore.
Hawkins didn't want to know how Cull's mother had died.
The visions of her wounds haunted him even more so than the dreaded look in Odi's eyes. She clearly knew of the term, giving Hack a few sparing glances in warning but neither would confirm or deny anything to set Cull or him at ease. The Fire Traited stuck near his sister, refusing to sit down against the pile of ashes and scuffed his feet against what little clear ground there was.
Cull rubbed at the Chimeran mark on his arm, Hawkins wincing at the red scabbed skin around the incomplete sigil. Even after they had been exiled it still refused to heal correctly, a stark reminder of who the twins used to be no matter how much they hated it.
Disgruntled by the black grimoires lack of warning, Hawkins tried to ignore the strings of flame connecting the twins together like a strand of fate, his smoke immediately submerging it and becoming more pliable between his fingers. The Infernal Triad dimmed slightly, Rin's hoarse breathing startling him slightly as the Mediator loosened his grip on his Smoke Trait.
"I can't...I mean, I don't know how to heal that." He admitted, trying not to put himself down as much as he felt.
His words felt hollow beneath the ashen rain that gently drifted down. It almost felt soothing if it hadn't been the last remnants of his own people. Desperate to shake it off he tried to brush away the dirt but still it stuck, the reminder of who exactly had hurt Rin still fresh in everyone's mind.
Thea still shivered at the thought, trying to cling to the warmth and comfort of her Agar despite Mantis' attention being elsewhere. Her gaze still willing the Eternal Death away as if any of them could've prevented such a monstrous attack from an Overtaken. A theory snagged in his mind, the familiar bullet-like punches still making its mark on Cricket's skin. Almost as if she had tried to defend them from it.
Gizmo and Gidget still perched on a rock, remained vigil in their watch while the latter tucked themselves into their fur to try and sleep what little hours they could. Hawkins' eyes met the older Tinker Mole, his waistcoat draped around his nephew protectively despite his earlier protests that 'keeping watch' was beneath him. His head inclined to him and then, to Odi.
Her eyes unblinking yet morose soon sparked with an idea that both terrified Hawkins and filled him with a sense of macabre glee that wasn't there before. The injured dragon stepped forwards, limping slightly in an attempt to shift her weight away from her bedraggled wings and looked at the twins each in turn.
"I do."