- Monday, October 30th -
"Is he okay?" Sam sounds worried and like he's holding back some anger. I bet if he wouldn't have to go to work today, he would drive right here to punch Emma in the face. I know he isn't afraid to hit girls. Not that I've ever seen him hit a girl, but still I just know he will if he needs to.
"Yeah, he's still sleeping right now. I believe he's been awake most of the night. He was pretty restless and it's my fault. I shouldn't have asked him to join us in church."
"Well, you couldn't know it bothers him this much. For all I know he's acting pretty though about the subject of parents and family. And you couldn't predict that bitch would be there, right?"
"You're right about the last part, but Finn has never really been much of a talker, always bottling up things. I've been friends with him for fifteen years, I should have seen through his though act."
"Stop blaming yourself, Cris. You can't protect him from everything. You can support him in everything, yes. But protect? Sorry, that'll be a nope." He sighs deeply. "So, what is it you wanted to talk about with me? I do not believe you're calling me to talk about Finn's behaviour, because you have friends that know him better than I do."
"True, was I being that obvious?"
"Subtlety isn't your best asset, my dear friend."
"Right, I knew that already."
"So?"
"Well, Emma and Finn had sort of like a small discussion about who's to blame for what and Emma named Alex. I didn't know she even knew about his story, but she appears to know something."
"So, what's your question?"
"Do you know if they know each other or something?"
"I have to admit it isn't the first time I hear her name. You're not the first one to talk to me about some bitch named Emma, who happens to be friends with that Jeffy guy."
"Did Alex mention her?"
"Look, Cris, does it matter? I'm not sure and it has been years. If he did mention her, he did it before he went missing and came back all fucked up. I was on his side during the trial and Emma was mentioned because she had something to do with Finnley's case. I don't know if I'm mixing things up or if they did meet before. I really don't know."
"I just feel like none of them told the whole story," I admit, feeling a bit cranky. "If she had something to do with Alex too, maybe she had a bigger part in everything and now she's out here again. It scares me a bit because she seems to be obsessed over Finn. She's wearing his sweaters, telling him she still loves him. How he should be with her in order to reconcile with his family... I want her out and if she had a bigger part we might get her back in jail."
"The case is closed and she was convicted already. Alex was abducted because he fucked up with Jeff and that's it, Cris. Stop worrying about the past, start focussing on the present. Finn's your boyfriend now, right? Isn't that what you wanted?"
"I want him to be happy and even though he seems happy to be with me, I don't think he's really happy."
"Would you be happy if someone forced you to have sex for money just because you pretended to like someone in order to keep you parents from hating you?"
"If you put it like that..."
"I think the only way to make him happy, is by showing him you love him every single day. Show him it was worth it to have a fight with his parents, to come out to them as gay, because at least now he's with you. I bet his parents will eventually turn around once he shows them he's really happy with you."
"I bet they won't, but I get the point."
"And stop searching for answers to questions nobody asked. If Alex, Finn and the other guys are happy with the convictions people got, then let it be."
"I just want her to stay away from Finn, that's all."
"Hey, he won't leave you for her. Not just because he's 100% gay and she simply hasn't got the right body parts for him to feel attracted, but mostly because he was in love with you for years and you yourself said he's doing better now that you're together."
"But what if she forms a threat?"
"Just be careful, both of you. Not just because of Emma, but because Jeff is still out there too."
"That's the whole fucking reason I'm scared of Emma right now."
"Sorry, you might not be subtle, you're not making yourself clear either."
"Emma got out of jail six weeks ago."
"So?"
"Jeff and Ahmed showed up in this country, after being gone for more than a year, six weeks ago."
"Okay, that might be coincidence."
"You think so?"
"Eh, no..." he admits murmuring through the phone. "I don't really believe that Jeff guys and coincidence go hand in hand to be honest."
"Which would mean Emma has something to do with their appearance."
"In that case you really should be careful. Keep an eye on Finn, you know."
"I definitely will keep an eye on him." I sigh deeply. "I feel like I'm back in time a year and a half ago, and things still haven't been solved."
"Cris, I really gotta go because I'm at work now and my boss is impatient, wants me to go get dressed. Think about the positive parts, Ahmed already got arrested and he'll be in jail for a long time. Finn is your boyfriend and that's what you wanted most. He's letting you in on his life and I bet he'll start talking about things that aren't clear yet soon enough. Just give him time to really believe the fact you won't leave him. For him to believe you really do love him."
"Thanks Sam. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, see you tomorrow, and if you need me, just shoot me a text and I'll call as soon as possible."
"I will! Have fun working."
"Gonna be a blast." He chuckles. "Give Finn a hug from me."
"No, I'll give him a hug from me, because he's my boyfriend."
Sam snorts in response. "You can have him, I'm not into dicks."
I laugh out louder, covering my mouth to prevent Finnley from hearing me laughing and waking him up, even though I am downstairs already. "You don't know what you're missing out on."
"TMI, dude, TMI."
"I didn't even say anything..."
"Still, TMI. I'll see you tomorrow." He chuckles a bit.
"Okay Sam, see you tomorrow." I smirk, even though he can't see me, before I hang up the phone.
Well, that didn't settle my nerves at all.
- Tuesday, October 31st -
"You want peach or strawberry?" I turn around, facing Stan, who is by my side in the supermarket. I frown, staring at the pudding in his hand. "Peach, I'm allergic to strawberry, remember?"
"Oh, right. Should have known after all these years." He mutters, putting the peach-flavoured pudding in a basket. "Could you go grab us some bread?"
"Sure." I nod, walking through the supermarket towards the corner to get us some bread, trying to remember which one Stan always wants, failing to remember. There's one he doesn't like, but which is it?
I shuffle along the isle, deciding on one, going back to find Stan in the isle with toothpaste and other toiletry supplies.
"Here." I hand him the bread, to which he pulls a face.
"Cris, I told you before, no seeds, I hate the taste."
"Oh, really?" So out of all that I could pick, I picked the wrong one; great job, Cris. But why couldn't I remember what bread he likes and which he hates?
"Are you alright? You look a bit distracted today."
I frown, watching towards Stan, who looks a bit... weird, if you ask me. "I'm fine, are you alright? You look different."
"I'm fine. This is how I always look."
Huh? Does he? I shake my head to pull myself out of my dazed stupor, going to switch the bread for another one.
When I find Stan again, he's in the isle with candy and snacks, looking doubtful of what to pick.
"This one okay to you?"
"Yes, thanks." He smiles, leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. I pull back my head, staring at him confused.
"What's wrong, cutie? You're really acting weird."
Cutie? What? "We're not together, Stan. I'm with Finnley."
Some sort of annoyance flashes through his eyes, right before he sighs.
"Are you starting with that again? We're married, Cris. You really have to forget about Finnley already. It's getting a bit annoying. Now, which candy does Mikey always want?"
"Huh, but I am with Finnley we broke op months ago. You're with Nathan, right? And who the hell is Mikey?"
Stan pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing deeply. "Are you sure you're okay? Is your head hurting again? I knew you should have taken more time to recover from the concussion. Mikey is our son. We have two kids, remember? Mikey and Dana?"
"But..." I stare at him feeling a bit shocked. Wasn't I with Finnley just now? Didn't we spend a night in front of the TV, lounging while watching a movie, eating salted popcorn because it's his favourite snack?
Didn't I just kiss him goodnight?
"Look, Finnley's right there." Stan nods his head in the direction behind me, making me turn around. Finn didn't change one single bit from what I remember, even though Stan looks a lot older. But there he is; Finnley. As young and handsome as ever. But it's nauseating me to see him holding hands with Emma, laughing over something she just said, before his eyes find me.
"Hey! Cris, Stan." He smiles, dragging Emma in our direction.
"This isn't right." I shake my head, staring back and forth between Stan and Finnley. "I was with Finnley."
"We broke up years ago." Finnley laughs at me, Emma joining in. "You don't think I'd be with you while I could be with Emma, right?" He chuckles, making me feel stupid for some reason.
"Finnley realised his life would be way better with me by his side." Emma is still laughing at me. "Did you forget? Finnley picked me, not you."
---
"No!" I shout out in anger and frustration, my eyes flying open. I'm seated in bed, staring into a dark room, feeling confused and a bit hurt.
"Cris, what's wrong?" Finnley sounds worried, yet sleepy. He sits up beside me, cupping my face with his hands.
"I..." Oh thank god it was all just a dream. "I think I had a nightmare."
Finnley frowns a bit, before laying back down, pulling me in his arms. "You're fine. Just a stupid dream." He murmurs, nuzzling his nose in my hair.
"I dreamed you were with Emma and I was married with Stan and you laughed at me for thinking you would ever pick me over Emma."
Finnley snorts, right before he falls into a fit of laughter, still hugging me close to him. "That really sounds like a nightmare, yes." He exclaims in between laughing.
"It's not funny, I thought I'd lost you."
"Dear Cris." Finnley rolls us around so that he is now somewhat laying on top of me. "I'll always be yours as long as you let me." He whispers, leaning down to kiss me. "And I'll most certainly never ever pick Emma over anyone, let alone pick her over you."
I smile a bit, sighing in relief since I didn't lose Finnley and we're still together. Yet the dream felt all too real and my heart is still racing a bit and I still feel a bit weird. But Finnley kissing me is definitely enough prove that he's still my boyfriend.
"From now on, my biggest fear will be to lose you, Finny." I tell him in all honesty. "It's scaring me shitless to think you could wake up one day and decide you don't like me anymore."
"Oh, but I already realised I don't like you." He chuckles, staring at me with amused eyes. "I woke up a while ago, after we sat in that alley, talking. You know, the night I stormed off after we kissed? The next morning, I woke up and I realised I didn't at all like you."
I frown, wondering why the hell he's saying this. "But..."
"I love you, fool." He chuckles. "That night I realised I didn't like, but love you."
"God, you scared me to death, Finn!" I call out in frustration. "Next time, get to the point before I freak out inside."
"Ha. No, it's way too funny to see you like that." He places his head on my shoulder, staring at me from the side. "The fear in your eyes whenever you think I'm going to leave you tells me it truly is one of your biggest fears. It tells me you really do love me just as much as I love you."
"If you love me that much, you wouldn't scare me like that." I turn my head, kissing him on the lips. "I really do love you and I never want to lose you, okay? I'll drag you..."
"...by my sexy hair, back to your room to lock me inside." He nods with a smile. "I believe you will. I never did believe it as much as I do now."
"Good." I chuckle. "Now that that's out of the way, you want to go back to sleep for another hour?"
"Do you have a better idea?" He grins daringly, his hand already trailing down my chest.
"Way better." U murmur, connecting our lips, kissing him with as much passion as possible.
"What's better than sleep?" He laughs out when I stare at him in annoyance.
"Stop fooling around."
"What, you're the one suggesting we could fool around for a while."
"Finn!" I start tickling him to get him to stop making fun of me like that.
"No! Cris! Mercy, please!" He calls out, trying to push me away, while laughing out loud. "Stop it! Please! I'd do anything!"
I stop tickling him, straddling his waist. "Anything you say?"
"For you, anything." He nods, smiling with his head slightly cocked to the side. "Always."
"I love you, Finny."
"You're really cheesy. Now I get why your dad called you girly."
"Hey! Watch it, or I'll tickle you again."
"No, I surrender!" He laughs, pulling me down for another kiss. "Now let's fool around for a while."