I woke today in my own bed for the first time in a while, almost disoriented from my surrounds because I'm so used to being in Harry's room. I kept waking up in the middle of the night from sleep deprivation- even though I was so tired.
Harry and I have barely spoken since he bandaid my finger. We have mainly just done our own thing. The apartment is nothing but a cold drift of air now from our distance.
To distract myself all day, I've been cleaning up my room. I haven't really been in here in a while so I thought that maybe if I clean it up and make it more of a warmer atmosphere, I'll enjoy it better. I've been hearing Harry up early like usual, doing his own thing. I know that his recovery is fine because he's working a lot and doing everything he normally does. I still am going to stay here though because you never know what could happen with him and plus I don't want to nuisance Erica by crashing on her couch.
Being here with him is hard, harder then I thought I would be. I'm so conflicted with my emotions and I need time to just think about everything. But then I see him walking down the hall and it just makes me sad. I want to lay in his arms and joke around with him in the kitchen like we used to. I want to wear his shirt again and play with a hair while he sleeps.
But I can't forget about what he did.
I see him everyday, but yet I miss him so much. I need to distract myself as much as possible.
I walk out of my room and of course he happens to be coming out of his room also. We both freeze and look at eachother, not knowing what to say. I haven't talked to him all day and it's nearly evening now.
He stands tall in his doorway, wearing a pair of black adidas pants that hang low on his hips. He darts his emerald eyes to mine and just stands there, as lost as me. His shirt was absent from his inked skin and immediately I notice the vertical cut in the center of his chest. It's healed nicely but I know it will scar.
"Your chest." I mumble while looking at the place the doctors cut open over his heart.
He looks down and nods lightly; "Oh, yeah.. it's really ugly." He mumbles while looking back up to me.
"No it's not ugly, just think of it as a tattoo." I almost whisper. He chuckles softly and nods.
"Yeah I guess." He says lightly.
Theirs a moment of silence where we just stand there, not knowing what to say. He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly before speaking once again.
"I was just going to make dinner, what would you like?" He breaks the tension.
"Oh, um it's okay just make what you want.. I'll eat something later." I kindly reject while tucking my hair back in my ear.
"Amelia don't be silly, I'm making something for the both of us." He insists while starting to walk down the hallway, past me so I feel his air hit me and a light smell of his cologne.
I heard him step down the stairs and far away from me. As he vanished from what I'm guessing is the kitchen, I hear a knock on the front door from down the first floor?
Someone knocking on the door? Who could that possibly be?
I walk towards the railing of the second floor and see Harry submerge from the kitchen, walking towards the door. As he gets there, he opens it up and it reveals none other then Erica standing there in a pair of black leather pants and a see though black mesh long sleeve so you can see her black bra.
"Uhm.. hi?" Harry says quietly in confusion while Erica looks up at him.
"Amelia's here right?" She says somewhat coldly but Erica is a really positive person so even when she is cold, shes still is kinda nice. I know she's mad at Harry also from everything I told her, but it was never my intentions to make her not like him.
"Erica?" I say from the railing, heading towards the stairs.
"Amelia!" She smiles while looking around Harry's broad body. He steps out of the way as she walks in towards me.
"What are you doing here?" I chuckle while crossing my arms over my stomach.
"Well I'm going out tonight with some friends to the club and I thought you would like to go and blow off some steam!" She says with a smile. I'm very pleased by her proposal, but I don't know if that's the best idea.
"Oh, well I was just gonna stay in and finish cleaning up the place." I mumble, glancing at Harry over Erica's shoulder. He stands a couple meters away with his hands in his pockets.
"Amelia you haven't gone out in forever.. I think you need it." She whispers that last part, being aware of Harry being in the room.
"I just don't know if-"
"Amelia go." Harry's voice cuts me off, making me widen my eyes. Erica turns her head to look at Harry behind her.
"What?" I say in confusion. Never in a million years would I think Harry would be fine with getting me to a club alone. Then again, he can't tell me what to do anyway.
"Go. I know you don't want to be here. You've been doing nothing but sitting by my side for almost a week in the hospital." He explains, making my eyes stay wide.
"So you want me to go..without you.. to a club?" I ask questionably, something isn't right.
"Well stay with Erica obviously. But yes, you'll have fun. I can't stop you Amelia, I won't stop you anymore." He says calmly. God he must feel really bad because all these words feel like I'm not even talking to Harry.
Erica turns back to me with a smile; "Perfect so let's go!" She says while pulling me towards the stairs.
I look at Harry who forms his lips in a line and nods while I get pulled up the stairs. This is so incredibly odd for him to be fine with me going. Usually he doesn't want me to leave his side when we are at that club.
Erica pulls me to my room and shuts the door behind us, heading straight for the walk in closet.
"Erica are you sure that I should be going out? Some very crazy things have happened every time I go to that place." I say while sitting at the edge of my bed, watching her shuffle through the closet.
"Yes, I think it's a great idea. And you'll be with me, so don't worry. Where is that red cropped top?" She asks while looking everywhere.
"How do you know I have a red cropped top? I've never warn it." I cross my arms in question.
"A lot of these are my clothes silly. Did Harry never tell you?" She chuckles while finding the shirt and pulling it out.
"No.. that's where all these clothes came from?" I say in shock.
"Yeah, I was cleaning out my closet and some of these things didn't fit me anymore. Harry told me how his new assistant has an awful fashion sense and so he took them all off my hands." She explains, making me feel surprised.
"Woah. I was wondering for so long who's all these belonged to! That's crazy." I shake my head.
"Yeah, but since you told me he kidnapped you.. I guess he really just needed clothes for you." She looks like she hit her own metaphorical wall.
"Yeah.." I agree while standing up.
"But anyway, tonight you aren't going to think about any of that. Tonight we are going to have fun for once. I'm thinking you wear this red crop with some high waisted leggings?" She says while handing me the items from the closet.
Maybe I do need to go out and let lose. I've been trying to get Harry out of my mind for a while now so maybe this will be good for me. Erica is always a blast so this will be good for me. I need to let loose, I need a distraction.
"Looks great." I say while grabbing the revealing material.
//
hey! So next few chapters are going to be intense/ and I mean INTENSE. As you can tell, we are almost at 100 GOD DAMN CHAPTERS!!
wow, where does the time go?
I know some people are probably wondering when this book is going to end, and sadly, it will be soon. I am not going to end on the 100th chapter because still a lot of shit is gonna happen. So don't worry their is more then 4 chapters left;)
But the truth is I don't know exactly how many chapters are left- it could be 10, it could be less, it could be more. I am really just playing it by ear as we go along. But it will definitely go past 100.
But please note that these next chapters will most likely be long and hard *wink wink*. So get ready!!
Thank you so much for all the positive support!! I love to hear feedback.