There I go again, feeling lonely even with my own friends.
"Friends"... Ha...
They honestly couldn't care less right now. Everyone's busy on their own. Nobody cares... Nobody ever did anyway... The only person who did isn't even here. I don't know what to do, what to feel, nor what to think... I don't even know what to write about. I just got this pen because I know I wouldn't be able to sleep. I knew that I would be alone, just like now, that's why I thought about bringing my own company.
Righ now, I feel like running away, I feel as if there's someone inside of me, another me, one that needs to get out but is suffocated by my selfishness. I thi k I might breakdown at any second now, but... I'm trying my best to keep calm and stay strong. I don't want to disappoint yet another person... I know that at least two people truly believe in me and I do not want to bring them down in any possible way.
No it's not my parents, they don't even know.
Everyone hates me, I'm sure about it. I just want to end it all... I truly deserve my scars because every breath I take annoys someone. I can't help but feel like I'm such a pain.
It's about 3 am, and here I am thinking about the most abnormal things. Who does that?
There goes silence again... I despise it; it gives more space to the deafening sound of my thoughts...
Elxx
P.S: I wrote this in a camp in August, back when I was that depressed... I'm fine now.