Chapter 10
My ears were met with nothing but the clinking of plates. The air in the room had changed drastically since early in the day- from light and cheerful to dark and forbidden. I sat at the table eating an apple.
"Why aren't you eating any, Dannie?" Carina's voice broke the silence.
As if her question was the cue, the boys came to life in an animated way as if they were looking for any reason to speak.
"Ya, why aren't you eating?" Mark echoed Carina's question with his taco halfway to his mouth.
I pulled my eyebrows together. "I don't like tacos."
My statement was greeted by silence.
"How do you not like tacos?" Mark exclaimed loudly still trying to create conversation.
I shrugged and said nothing.
Mark on the other hand, seemed to be on the urge of a mental breakdown. "Do you have a psychological problem? Tacos! They're great!"
"I don't have a problem. I just don't like them." I said.
I have had enough people in my life tell me that I do. I'm sane.
I think.
Charlie jumped in before Mark said anything else that was stupid. "These are great though! How did you learn how to make them?"
"Secret family recipe." I said smiling at the memory.
Charlie smiled. "Grandmother?"
"Something like that."
That was a lie.
No. Not a lie. Just not the complete truth. I learned from Danny. And Danny had learned from his grandmother.
Same thing really.
I remember dumping an entire bag of flour on his head while he explained seasoning only to have him retaliate with pouring water on me. Him and his water pranks.
The table fell silent again before it was interrupted again. This time, it was from the person I least expected it from.
Blake.
He spoke quietly. "I like tacos. We have to get you to try some one day. Trust me, you'll love them."
Trust me.
Those words. Oh Blake, how I wish I could.
Instead I said, "Maybe one day."
"What are you guys doing in New York?" I heard Carina ask.
Charlie was the one to answer. "We're touring the States. We've already hit the East Coast so we're heading west next. We are mostly hopping trains. It's too long to drive."
I tuned out of their conversation and thought back to my last comment. I didn't mean it at all. I mentally cringed as realized how much I've been lying to the person I love. I keep justifying it with the fact that it's for his own good.
But is it really?
Why can't he know? Why do I find it so hard to let people in? There's an excellent answer. One that answers both of those questions. Unfortunately, that's recalling a memory that I never wish to revisit. Ever.
Yet again, we were engulfed with silence. If I ever had to put this dinner down in my books, it would definitely be ranked as the most awkward one.
I looked around the table and was met with four people who were desperately trying to keep their gazes on their plates. Suddenly Carina's head popped up and she gave me an evil grin.
That look was never good.
"We should come with you guys on your road trip!" Carina addressed the guys but was looking at me.
I was right, it wasn't good.
"We should not." I protested.
My protest was in vain though because it was drowned out by the shouts of agreements that came from the boys.
Apparently it didn't matter what I thought. They're living in my house, eating my food but they don't seem to give a damn about my opinion. I'm going to hit someone really soon.
I tuned out as Carina made plans with the boys about the trip.
I knew exactly what she was trying to accomplish. She wanted me to get back together with Blake. The silly girl still believed in happy endings. I was going to let her. I was going to let her have the dreams that I wish I could still have.
But I wouldn't- no I couldn't get back together with Blake.
It was too dangerous.
"Does that sound good Dannie?" Carina asked me.
Rather than admit I wasn't paying attention, I mindlessly agreed. "Yes, perfect."
Carina grinned evilly at me knowing perfectly well that I had no idea what I was agreeing to. "Great! We leave tomorrow. Up nice and early. We have tickets on a 5:30 am train."
"Where are we going?" I asked hesitantly.
Carina just smiled. "The East Coast."
I suddenly saw a new side of Carina. Not the hopeless romantic I've grown to become use to, but as a mastermind genius.
She didn't just want me to get back together with Blake, she wanted to make me remember my old self. To do this, she was doing the only thing she could think of.
She was going to bring me to California.
She was going to bring me home.
"I don't care what you think. Tacos will always be my favourite food." Said Blake out of nowhere.
Oh I know Blake.
Why do you think I made them in the first place?
I took a walk after dinner to clear my mind. It was unsuccessful. I kept thinking about the mess I was currently in: I was lying to everyone around me, I was going on a road trip with people I was lying to, and one of the people on the road trip will be my ex-boyfriend. Who does not know who I am. Oh, and I'm a dead person. That sucks too. Why am I even going on this road trip anyway?
I shivered from the cold seeing as I was only wearing leggings and a tank top.
I kicked a nearby dumpster to relieve some of the frustration I had but did not receive as much of a release as I wanted.
What has my life come to? I don't exist anymore. I'm nothing.
I need a purpose.
I needed a fight.
My slow, wandering steps turned to fast, searching steps as I made my way to a run-down part of the city. Once there, I felt relief already as I saw a street fight already in action. I walked to join the crowd, making my way to the front. There had been many times in the past couple months where I'd stumbled across underground fighting rings such as this but urged myself to continue walking. Beating up members who were on steroids would have only attracted attention to myself which had been something I had desperately been avoiding. But now I failed to see any reason why I needed to remain undercover. All my hard work to stay under the radar and it's all blown in less than two weeks. To say I was pissed was an understatement.
It may have been months since I've participated in hand-to-hand combat but I've kept myself in shape and continued my training. Any of these idiots would be an easy fight for me. My training in addition to my rage would make me a fierce competitor.
Once I got within the sight line of the fight, I could see that the fight was very one sided. There was one man already on the floor unconscious while a 6'5", 300 pound giant stood over him. 300 pounds of muscle.
"Is anyone going to give me a real fight?" The giant roared over the crowd.
Yes, he roared. This guy was literally 99% steroids.
The other 1% was dead brain cells.
"I will." I spoke over the chatter of the crowd.
I was calm and firm, even when the crowd quieted into hushed whispers. I couldn't blame them. To them, it looked as though I had a death wish. With my 5'9" frame compared to the giant in front of me, I would've thought the same thing as them. Too bad they're wrong.
The giant looked at me with a smirk. "Dolly, the mall is a couple streets over."
I nodded. "You seem like the type that would know that."
He growled "Walk away. I don't have time for you."
"That doesn't seem fair. You wanted a good fight. Let's go."
"This is your last warning. I don't go easy on weaklings."
"I can see that." I responded while looking over at the unconscious man who was now being dragged off to the side. I'm counting on it, I thought to myself.
"Ok then. Let's go." The giant said while getting into an offensive position.
I winced looking at his position. It was bad. I wanted a good fight but I have obviously picked the wrong guy.
"It's not too late to leave now Dolly. I wouldn't mind." He mocked me.
I blocked out the crowd's jeering as I studied his stance. His feet were planted firmly, but he was heavy on his toes: he was a slow mover. He didn't defend his face as much as his lower body. Probably because he thought his height made him untouchable. It kind of did. He packed a lot of power but lacked speed. If you can't catch your opponent, you can't fight your opponent.
Never underestimate your opponent and never overestimate yourself.
Wise words Danny, wise words.
I aimed a quick punch at his upper body and felt a satisfying crunch of breaking ribs. I let out a deep breath that I never realized I was holding. A calming wave spread through me as I did what I have trained all my life to do.
And that was fight.
I jumped and landed a spin kick to his head watching him stumble back a couple steps.
"Are you sure you don't want to go to the mall. You could pick up a cute pair of sunglasses to hide your black eyes." I mocked him.
He spat out a mouthful of blood. "What black ey-"
I quickly punched him three times in the face while his guard was down.
I realized the crowd had gone silent as they watched the scene before them unfold.
The giant roared- seriously, what was his obsession with that- before charging at me.
The next couple minutes went by in a blur. The ground was covered in blood but it wasn't mine. I let out a breath as I put force behind a punch aimed at his jaw.
He was unconscious before he hit the ground. I could have ended the fight the moment it began, but what's the fun in that? I wanted a fight, so a fight I had.
A eery hush fell over the crowd as they processed what they had just watched.
I inspected my body for injury. I felt a couple broken ribs from the only punch the giant had been able to touch me with. Like I said before, he packed a hard punch.
Other than the broken ribs- I'm guessing two- the only other thing was my knuckles. They were bloody and already beginning to bruise.
I hope the boys are as unobservant as Carina. I don't think I could use the same concealer on my knuckles that I had used to cover my tattoo.
Hearing police sirens in the distance, I stumbled into an alley before climbing up the first fire escape I saw. Not that I couldn't use my get-out-of-jail-for-free card, but Carina would be furious if I wasn't packed and by the door at 5:30 tomorrow morning.
My broken ribs groaned in protest as I pulled myself up ladder after ladder. It was a pain I could handle though. A pain I was trained to handle.
Once at the top of the building, I lay on the cold concrete of the rooftop for what felt like hours. I took a deep breath before pushing myself off the ground and walking over to the edge of the roof. I closed my eyes and let the sounds of cars honking, people talking, and police sirens wash over me. This city that I have learned to live in.
I squeezed my eyes shut even harder and focused on more obscene noises. Like the dog barking in the first floor apartment in the the building across the road. Like the baby crying two floors down from my current location. Like the windchimes blowing in the wind 50 feet to the left of me.
I sighed and let a small frown grace my face as I took in my surroundings.
About four floors down, I heard a grandfather clock chime five times.
Oh shit.
It was already 5:00 in the morning? I guess I really had been lying on the roof for hours.
I stumbled back into my apartment trying not to breathe. My ribs were a dull throbbing reminder of what had happened only a few hours before.
"Dannie! There you are! We've been waiting forever! Where have you been?" Carina called to me while taking in my tired appearance.
"I went for a run." I forced out through my teeth. It was the only excuse I could think of that provided a reason for me being out of breath.
Carina rolled her eyes in my direction. "The guys want to see your collection of sports cars."
I internally groaned. I was hoping to take a warm shower to help with swelling.
"Sure." I said and walked out to the elevator.
I heard the boys cheer and Carina laugh. I pressed the button to take us down to the basement and held the door open until the boys and Carina appeared. While I waited, I tried to wipe as much blood as I could off of my knuckles.
Blake's voice interrupted my actions. "So how many cars do you have?"
"Somewhere close to ten but six of them are old collectables so I don't drive them. I have one motorcycle as well." I answered him without thinking about what I was saying. Fuck, I was tired.
"Nice. How do you afford all of them?" Blake asked curiously. "If you don't mind me asking." He quickly added.
I hesitated. "I have PhDs in Microbiology and Mechanical Engineering. Under Mechanical Engineering, I also studied Aerospace Engineering."
It wasn't a lie at all. It just didn't answer his question. Not that he would know any different.
Blake let out a low whistle. "You must be pretty smart."
Not smart enough to disable a bomb. The bomb that killed the boys. It was my fault. I should have just handled the situation differently. I shouldn't have shot-
"Dannie? Are you alright? You're hands are shaking." Blake's concerned voice pulled me out of my thought.
That was close. That was a dangerous path to follow. I pulled my head higher as I remembered what I had learned in training. Don't regret your actions because it will lead you to second guess yourself the next time.
And that was something I couldn't afford.
I made the right call the first time and I would make it again in a heartbeat.
I heard the ding of the elevator doors opening and I realized that I never answered Blake's question.
"Yes. I'm good." I've had worse. I added in my head.
"Holy shit." I heard Mark mumble as he looked around the basement floor.
The boys ran around the basement floor like toddlers on Christmas. They even had the same excited looks on their faces.
"What a beauty." Mark admired my McLaren while Charlie nodded his head.
Carina rolled her eyes. "Boys and their cars. What's next? Are you going to name them?"
"Who doesn't name their cars?" Charlie, Mark and I asked incredulously at the same time.
We all looked at each other at the same time. Mark and Charlie burst out laughing while Carina did not look amused by them. I just raised my eyebrows at them.
"You named your cars?" Carina asked me with the same unamused looked on her face. Oh. She wasn't unamused by them, but by me.
I scratched the back of my head. "Well, yes. I did. My cars have sentimental meaning to me."
Mark and Charlie finally stopped laughing.
Charlie looked at me curiously. "So what did you name them then?"
I froze. They couldn't know.
Actually, they could.
None of them would understand the significance behind the names. Except perhaps Carina.
I cleared my throat before starting. "The McLaren you were just admiring is named Joe. The Audi is Alex. The Ferrari is called John. The Corvette is named Danny." I finished while pointing out each car as I recited their names.
My voice had started off strong but by the end of my recital, it had grown quiet. Each car reflected the person it represented. I snuck a glance at Carina only to see her looking at me sadly. I'll take it. It's better than a pitiful look.
"You named your Corvette after yourself?" Mark asked in amusement.
"Yes." I answered simply.
"Why?"
"Why not?"
We stared at each other for a couple seconds before Mark broke eye contact. He looked around.
"Blake! Where you at man?" Mark called out.
I looked around only to see that Blake was, in fact, not with us.
I heard muffled shuffling coming from behind me. "Over here. Sorry I found a bike."
I looked to see what he was talking about and noticed my bike standing next to him. My white, sport bike. The one I've had since I was 16 years old... Shit. I used to ride that thing all the time when I was with Blake. Maybe he didn't recognize it.
"It looks familiar." He said.
Never mind. He did.
"What did you name this one?" Asked Blake as he nodded at it with his head.
I shook my head at him. "I haven't named that one yet. I only just bought it." I lied. "When I do, I'll let you know."
"Sure." He gave me a strained smile.
"Let's go back upstairs. It's 5:10 in the morning. We have a busy day today. So go shower Dannie." Carina interrupted our tense conversation.
Everyone nodded and walked upstairs. I stayed behind.
"You coming?" Carina asked me.
I nodded at her. "Ya. I'll be up in a bit. I'm just going to turn everything off."
Carina nodded and left.
I stumbled my way over to my Corvette and leaned against it taking deep breaths. I slid down to the floor and leaned my forehead against the door. At this point, my broken ribs were aching from the neglect I put them through.
I took deep breaths and leaned deeper into Danny, enjoying the moment of silence.
"Thanks Danny." I whispered into the empty room as I used him to support myself. "I could always count on you. I'm sorry that you couldn't count on me."