Harley:
I turn my head and look back out the side window, I can’t shake the feeling of uneasiness that still lingers. Trees are flickering past and the ground at the roadside is a blur making my headache. I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose but the pain refuses to steady or lessen. I can’t get Drew’s words out of my mind, surely I must have been that distracted by the horrible feeling of being watched that I misunderstood him.
A new feeling begins to form taking shape quickly until it is almost a physical pain in the centre of my chest as if someone has reached inside my body and is trying to pull something out of my chest through my sternum.
"Wait! Stop Drew!" I sob frantically. "Stop! Please stop!" I feel the vehicle slow for several moments before it resumes it’s former speed. I struggle to take a deep breath as I reach for my seatbelt and unbuckle it with a click.
"What the hell are you doing?" Drew demands catching my left hand as I go to reach for the door handle. The car wobbles on the road as he steers with one hand and tries to keep a hold of me with the other hand, he is forced to slow down dramatically and has to release my wrist to change down gears. I grasp the door handle ready to open it and leap from the vehicle if he starts to go faster again. I can taste the saltiness of my tears on my lips and my breath comes raggedly as my sobs continue, I can’t stop crying now I have started.
"Stop, just please stop!" I beg and am relieved when Drew pulls over to the side of the road, puts the vehicle out of gear and pulls the hand-break on. As soon as the vehicle is stationary I yank the door open and scramble from the car as fast as I can. I hear Drew yelling behind me in the car but I block the sound of his voice out as I turn and stand facing back the way we came.
"Are you insane! What do you think you are doing?" Drew demands as he pulls me from the middle of the road and gives me a rough shake. I turn my head to look at him and the car we had been in, I almost feel as if I am lost in some nightmare and he is a part of it. Dimly I note he has climbed over the centre console and came out the passenger door I exited. Again I feel the sensation in the middle of my chest, as if something is being pulled from my body.
"I want to go back,"
"Don’t you love me anymore?" Drew asks in a hurt voice as he releases my upper arm and takes a step back.
"We’re going the wrong way! I’m sure of it!" I protest and turn my head to gaze along the road once again.
It barely registers when Hank and Mutto pull in behind our car in their old ute, Hank climbs out of the passenger side window not bothering to open the door. His eyes are fixed firmly on me and he seems to enjoy my distress as he approaches.
"We got to move on mate, got our marching orders," Hank says with a glance towards Drew.
"You hear that Harley?" Drew asks tightly with an unhappy grimace. "Your brother saw you with me and he’s asking us to move on. He didn’t ask to see you or talk to you …"
Pain wells inside me, it starts low down in my stomach and rises up through my body until it threatens to spill out through my burning throat. I wrap my arms around myself and try to ignore the sensation still pulling at the centre of my chest. I lower my head as I force myself to turn and walk to the car, each step I take burns making my head hurt until the pain is almost unbearable. I stumble blindly as I settle into the seat and Drew leans in to fasten the seat belt. I hear the door shut and I grasp the base of the seat with both hands as I refuse to allow myself to undo the seatbelt and open the door. I grit my teeth and stare at my ugg boot clad feet as Drew starts the car and we begin to move.
Nononononononono!
I don’t give voice to my internal scream of pain and loss as my feeling of total wrongness grows. The only things keeping me in the seat is the knowledge I love Drew so much I gave up everything for him and the fluttery feeling as the small life in my stomach moves as if to comfort me.
Drew:
I take one last look at Harley where she is curled up on the inflatable mattress before I pull the door closed softly and head to where the car is parked a short distance away. For the last week we have been squatting in an old deserted hay barn that is located at the end of an old timber trail. The weather is cool but the barn is warm and the night is bright with a full moon as I start the car and head for the small town twenty kilometres away. Hank and Mutto are camped closer to town and I feel sure I will be able to find them in one of the pubs. With the crisp air and the brightness of the moon the night is calling out to me to go for a run and do some hunting.
There is little traffic as I enter the town and drive looking for a park near one of the pubs, I can’t see the Holden ute but I am not particularly worried as I pull into a park in front of a take-away café. I can hear the chatter and music from the pub as I walk along the sidewalk, the lights are on in the street making weird shadows on the shop fronts as I walk.
"Drew? Is that you?" A familiar voice yells and I glance towards the road as a Triton twin cab ute slows. "Hey Drew! Wait a minute!"
I stop and turn to face the road as the vehicle pauses to let the speaker out, I can’t help but smile as I see my brother Ken striding towards me. He has a wide grin on his face, he gives the driver a quick wave and I watch the vehicle drive away.
"It’s a pleasant surprise to see you on my travels," Ken says as he shakes my hand with gusto.
"I didn’t expect to see you here," I say, "you’re a bit out of your territory aren’t you."
"Work," Ken says with a shrug, " you know how it is. You living around these parts or just passing through?"
"Just passing," I tell him. "Not many folks want me around these days,"
"Thought you were just passing through." Ken says nodding soberly. "Jacob didn’t mention you moving in around here. Jacob’s in town tonight as well, why don’t one of us give him a call and we get together to have a few beers?"
"I’m meeting some friends," I shrug off his invitation.
"One of them wouldn’t be a certain woman Andy Willoughby saw you with in Inverell last week by any chance would it?" Ken asks and I look directly into his face quickly but he has a smile on his face and a teasing glint in his eyes. "I’m sure I don’t have to remind you to be careful if that’s where you’re getting your relief these days, with a human."
"Who I am, or who I am not with, has nothing to do with you!" I snap tightly. I see the hard light enter Ken’s eyes but he keeps the smile in place as he raises an eyebrow.
"Considering you didn’t have an easy time growing up with only one werecat gene, and even though you knew and understood you could become a cat at any given time, do not end up creating a little ‘problem’ the family will be forced to look after!" Ken says with a hard note entering his voice.
"Why don’t you just fuck off and mind your own business!" I snap turning away as I think of the kitt Harley is already carrying.
"Drew, calm down," Ken says grabbing hold of my upper arm and I turn to face him with a frown. "How about we drop the subject and go have a drink or two and catch up, I haven’t seen you for over a year."
I hesitate. I am torn between wanting to spend time with my brother and the worry he will bring up the subject of who I am with again.
"What was Willoughby doing in Inverell? That’s not in their territory," I say to try to change the subject.
"The entire Willoughby family were there celebrating Celeste’s birthday and engagement. How about I give Jacob a call? I know he’ll be glad to see you." Ken urges. "Maybe he can talk to Mal Inness about letting you settle into a place on the edge of their territory."
"I already got my own place in No-man’s Land!" I snap turning away as I utter the lie.
"How about Jacob, you, and I, sit down and have a few beers? It’s not like you’re meeting a woman. Let’s just catch up for a few hours so both Jacob and I can go back and tell Ma you’re fine, she worries you know," Ken urges.
I think about it for a few moments, as much as I would prefer to be off in the bush hunting with Hank I know my brother is not going to back down easily. Plus our mother is prone to worrying about us.
"Okay," I concede with a grunt of annoyance.
"Great," Ken says enthusiastically. "How about we head to the pub, they do a good meal there and I haven’t eaten yet. I’ll call Jacob and we can all catch up,"
"Sounds good," I agree. "I could do with a feed about now," I push the knowledge that Harley will wake to stale sandwiches and fruit out of my mind. Harley has been difficult the last week whenever Hank and Mutto come around. She gets mad with Hank over small things, ends up sulking if I want to go hunting with them and has refused to come along twice now.
"Hope the kitchen is doing roast, I could eat an entire roast myself tonight," I say with a grin as I fall into step beside my brother. It feels good as we walk along the sidewalk and I think of Jacob joining us as Ken begins to talk to him, it’s been too long since I have been around my brothers.
The pub is surprisingly busy and it takes several minutes to get our beers before we head to the back room for a game of pool and to order our food. I am just setting up the balls for the pool game when Jacob walks in followed by Stuart Baxter and Edwin Williamson. I feel a snarl start to build up as I give Edwin Williamson an angry glare and turn my back on him. I want nothing to do with the low down creep.
"Drew you little poof! Come here you bastard!" Jacob says loudly, I step into my brother’s hug and return the embrace along with several strong slaps on his back.
"Jacob! Good to see you," I say fondly before acknowledging Stuart with a nod and "Good day," Jacob clears his throat beside my ear but I ignore him as I step out of his hug and turn back to the pool table and my glass of beer.
"Been in these parts long?" Jacob asks as he stands beside me watching as Ken lines up the first shot of the game.
"Just a few hours," I grunt as Ken fails to sink any balls and I step forward to take a shot. I line up an easy shot, I should be able to sink three or four balls if I used the right amount of force with each shot.
"Just be aware there are stock killers in the area," Jacob says as I take the shot. I frown and glance his way when the numbered ball nearly doesn’t fall into the pocket. "No one is real sure on who or what has been doing the killing but it has happened in several other areas in the last two or three months."
"I’ll keep my eyes open," I murmur as I line up a second shot and sink another ball easily.
"Feral dogs have been getting the blame so far," Ken says lightly. "Apparently there have been tracks of a couple of large dogs. The tracks have been big enough to belong to a Mastiff, Doberman or even a bloody big Dingo. Were even,"
"Is there a point to all of this?" I ask dryly as I face Ken. The danger will come from him if there is one.
"No, just a brotherly warning." Ken says and motions towards the pool table with the cue he is holding. "You have been seen talking to two individuals that are believed to be a pair of young male dogs that have been driven out by the dominant male. No one has linked them to the stock killings and one confrontation doesn’t mean a hunting alliance,"
I take two shots as I think about what to say to the veiled warning. I know what it means for a werecat to be labelled a stock killer and I also have Harley and our kitt to think of, to provide for.
"I think I know the two dogs you’re talking about," I admit cautiously and line up another shot. I take my time watching the ball as it glances off the edge of the table and stops short of the pocket it was intended to go into. A kitchen hand comes to the doorway to announce our food is ready and I walk away from the table as Ken takes a shot. Jacob, Stuart and Edwin go to collect their food and I head to the bar for a fresh beer. I have just payed for it and am waiting on my change when Ken steps up beside me to order four beers.
"Wait a moment," he says quietly when I would take my beer and go. The bartender moves away and for several moments we are alone.
"Don’t think about warning them," Ken says in a low voice. "We’ve heard all about the punishment you got from …"
"Your point being?" I demand tightly as I see Stuart and Edwin coming into the bar.
"Don’t warn ‘em, don’t hunt with ‘em, don’t even run with ‘em," Ken hisses. "Even the slightest hint you’ve been in on it and we can’t intervene on your behalf,"
I remain silent as the bartender places the beer on a tray in front of my brother and makes change for the note Ken hands him. I take the chance to head for the back room with my beer, order a meal in a take-away container at the kitchen and collect the food waiting for me. I don’t say anything to Jacob as I sit down and begin eating hungrily. The plate is filled with pork and roast vegies but I know I could easily eat twice the amount before feeling full.
"This looks good," Ken comments as he sits at my small table along with Stuart. Jacob and Edwin stand by a second table that lacks chair or stools and hold their plates as they eat. I keep a discreet watch on the door into the food service area and am just wiping up the last of the gravy with a piece of meat when one of the kitchen hands signals me. I push my plate towards the middle of the table, pick up my beer and scull it before getting to my feet.
"As pleasant as the evening has been I have someone waiting for me who looks a hell of a lot better than any of you lot," I say as I glance at the watch on my wrist. Ken hurries to his feet but I shrug off the hand he places on my shoulder.
"Remember if it’s not on, it’s not on," Ken says and I know he is warning me to use condoms. I ignore their farewells as I head off to pay for and collect the meal on my way out, I can’t say it’s been a pleasant evening but it has been an informative hour or so. I tuck the Styrofoam tray of food under one arm and walk briskly towards my car. A quick glance confirms that Jacob and Edwin have followed me from the pub and I get in the car shoving the tray onto the passenger seat. I have the car started and moving before they reach a vehicle, I turn down a side street hurriedly and set about making sure they aren’t following me as I head out of town.
Harley:
I lay curled up around the small bump of my stomach, there is a dull ache low in my hips and I can feel the warm wetness that is steadily flowing from me. The sharp metallic tang in the air tells me I am bleeding freely and I can’t stop the tears that run down my cheeks as I pray for some movement, any movement. I haven’t felt the baby roll over or kick since about midday yesterday. I am almost tempted to sit up when I hear the faint sound of a vehicle stop near by and I recognise the sound of the motor. I am facing the entry when Drew walks in, he smiles when he meets my eyes and I immediately dissolve into tears yet again.
"Drew! Thank goodness you’re here!" I sob as I hug myself and curl up into a tight ball.
"Harley, calm down. You should have known I’d be back," Drew scolds with a soft laugh. "Look, I’ve even got you a cooked meal."
"I need a doctor Drew! I’m bleeding! I need a doctor now!" I sob. There is no sound from Drew and I turn my head to look at him. His face is pale and he has a stricken expression on his face, an uneasy feeling begins to grow in my chest. Have I bleed so much it shows and has scared him?
"Drew, please," I beg when he remains silent.
"I’m sorry," Drew mumbles taking a step backwards.
"Please! Please I need a doctor now! Before it’s too late and I loose our kitt!" I plead but the amount of blood I have already lost worries me.
"I’m sorry, so sorry," Drew mumbles as he drops to his knees and pulls me to lean against his body while he wraps his arms around me.
"Drew a doctor, I need a doctor," I sob as I clutch at his arms.
"You can’t go to a human doctor and I don’t dare take you to a werecat doctor," Drew mumbles against the back of my head. I stiffen as his words sink in and it hits me there will be no help for my kitt or me.
"I need a doctor," I sob, "our baby …"
"I’m sorry, so sorry," Drew begins crying and I can feel his sobs shaking both his body and mine.
"Why?" I ask miserably. "Why can’t you take me to a doctor?"
"Your family will separate us," Drew says and sobs noisily. "They won’t care about this kitt or your happiness."
I feel a sense of helplessness grip me, there’s no way I can save this kitt Drew and I want so badly. Slowly I feel a burning hatred for my family start to grow, within minutes it is a raging bonfire inside me.