Amber
"Aaaagh!" I punch the bag with all of my strength.It's never enough. It's as if life decided that I don't deserve to be happy. Ten YEARS! Ten years of unimaginable torture and it isn't enough suffering. No, fate wants me to me miserable. It gives me hope only to rip it away. It taunts me with small doses of happiness contrasted with pain. I've been able to stay strong but with every passing day the feelings of hopelessness and despair grow. Today the weight of everything was simply too much for me. I just felt something inside me break.
I let out another yell as I throw a kick with all my strength. The pain in my body doesn't slow me down. I don't know how long I've been here but the more time I spend assaulting the punching bag, my anger grows. I'm tired of being hopeful and optimistic. I'm tired of being the girl who's strong no matter what life throws at her. I just want to be the girl who gets to be happy.
"AMBER!" I stiffen as I feel two arms around me stopping me from hitting the bag. I drop my arms to my sides while breathing heavily. I close my eyes for a split second imagining that the moment I turn around it'll be Ale but I know very well it'll be Nico. Once he notices I've calmed down he loosens his grip and I turn around to face him. I look up to his eyes, the ones that can never hide what he's feeling from me. He's worried, sad and frustrated. I should be used to it but I still get taken aback by the raw passion in his eyes, a passion for me.
"Amber..." His voice is soft and weak. I take in the rest of him and notice his disheveled appearance. Some blood on his wrinkled clothing, his messy hair and an overall tired look.
"How...What can I do?" I look up at him confused. He groans and turns away while huffing. He paves back and forth. I walk over to stop him. As soon as I place a hand on his arm he stands still.
"I don't know what to do Amber! I don't know how to help you! No matter how normal you've acted I know that you're hurting on the inside. You may not remember dreaming anything but when you're asleep you're always restless. You kick and move around and every once in a while you say his name. I can't protect you from that pain and I can't even physically protect you!" I watch his nostrils flare as his chest rises and lowers harshly with each deep breath.
"Nico. You do more than I could ask for. You do more than you should!"
"But still, here you are making your fists bleed." The burning of my knuckles suddenly registers in my mind. I look down at them and realize that I was so lost in my negativity that I let anger and hate consume me if only for a moment.
"You almost got hurt last night. Alessandro is still probably tied up somewhere. In the end I'm doing as much as I can but I still feel like I'm failing. I'm letting you down and I'm letting Alex down. What scares me the most Amber is that with every day that passes I see your light dimming. You're still incredible and amazing but I think you're starting to lose yourself. When I came in here I didn't recognize who I saw. It was only for a moment but that moment is enough to show that something is wrong. Not to mention the fact that this already happened once before." He's right. Images of my fists making contact with a man's bloodied face invade my mind.
"What more can I do Amber? Please, tell me." I watch him carefully. I think that I'm not the only one having a breakdown.
"Shh. Come." I put my arm around him and guide him down onto the floor with me. I rest his head on my shoulder and hold him, stroking his face.
"Thank you for worrying but I have to tell you something so listen to me and listen good Nicholas. You do everything and more, sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them to but that doesn't mean it's because you're doing something wrong. I did almost get hurt but who showed up in time? You. Who stopped it from happening? You. Who kept me safe? You. Maybe you didn't stop him from getting in but we can work on the security issues. As for Alex we already know where to go and what to do, we just need to wait a little more to make sure nothing goes wrong. I know it's frustrating and tiring but we'll get through it. We've both been through worse." He just puts his arms around me and holds me. After a short pause I hear his muffled voice.
"You're right." He sighs and lets go of me, sitting up straight.
"Remember I'm here Amber. It's fine to let out the negative energy but don't let it consume you. If you need to talk or just hear that everything's okay I'm always there."
"I know." We sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes before I speak again.
"So... how did it go with..." I trail off as I look at the blood on Nico.
"Fine. He won't be an issue anymore."
"Oh...Okay. Did he say why he was there? If anyone sent him?" He nods.
"He was young, easy to manipulate. Even though we helped him some leader from a small gang offered him money and of course a high position if he managed to kill Ale. He found out that you're the one in charge now and he was told to kill you instead." I stay still for a moment. I've been so preoccupied with Cobra and Alessandro that I've forgotten about the fact that there are still other people that want to take us down.
"Hey, don't worry. No one else is ever coming near you again. I'm making sure of it." I smile at him.
"I know."
"Let's go home." I nod and watch as he gets up while offering me a hand.
As we walk out of the training room and make our way to the car I look at him. His imposing height, his slender yet toned body, his thin face, the stubble, his gentle eyes and his currently disheveled golden hair. I don't understand how got so lucky. I have a whole group of people who love me. I have two amazing men that are in love with me and all of them are willing to risk everything for me, just as I am willing to risk my life for them. I think back to me punching and kicking the bag with all of my rage and feel ashamed at how ungrateful I am. Things may not be the best right now but I know I have something that so many people don't. I have a family that will be by my side through the darkest of times. I may still be facing hard circumstances but I am no longer alone. I have Marcos, Maddox, Cleo, Vince, Maxwell, Axel and Luca. I have Nicholas. And most importantly, I have Ale because I know I'm getting him back.
"Hey, Nico?"
"Hmm?" He turns to look at me.
"Never forget that I love you." He gives me a half smile.
"Love you too." I see the sadness in his eyes because we both know that our words may be the same but they hold a different meaning. We look at each other in silence before Nico clears his throat and we both get into the car. He drives and I just stare at the trees and the starry sky. I get lost watching the twinkling lights for the rest of the ride.
"We're here." I look down from the sky and notice the large house in front of me.
"Oh. Sorry."
"Don't worry. Let's go in." We walk alongside one another and as soon as we open the door our ears get attacked with the loud familiar voice that belongs to Emily.
"Amber! Finally! I've been waiting for hours!" She groans as she moves her arms dramatically, emphasizing her frustration.
"Wait...what the heck happened to you?" She stops and looks at both Nico and I, scanning our bodies.
"Umm, I'll tell you in a second. No big deal. Let me get cleaned up. Nico, come on." I don't give her a chance to say anything before pulling Nicholas behind me and rushing upstairs. As soon as I reach the room I swing the door open and shut the door.
"Sit down. I'm getting some things to clean up your fists." I tell Nico. I take my first step before I feel a large hand on my shoulder. I get pulled back slightly and soon the large man is standing in front of me instead.
"You sit. You hurt your hands more. Besides, I'm used to this. It's nothing."
"Bu-" He interrupts before I even have a chance to argue.
"Sit." For some reason I decide to listen. I watch him as he goes into the bathroom and walks back out with the first aid kit in his hands. He walks back to the bed with large and confident strides. He mumbles to himself as he sets the kit down and searches for the antiseptic and cotton. He stops before looking at me.
"You need to go wash your hand with soap and water first. Then, I'll clean them with this." I nod and head over to the sink in the bathroom. I open the tap and place my hands underneath. Besides the small amount of dried blood there was a bit of filth from being in the gym. I grab the bar of soap and clean away as much as I can without it hurting too much. Once I'm finished I grab a towel and dry my hands. I walk back out and sit down next to Nicholas.
"It might sting a little." He grabs my hand gently as if it were the most delicate of things before pressing the cotton to my scraped and slightly cut knuckles. It does in fact sting but it's not unbearable. He works quickly and carefully.
"All done."
"Good. Now go wash your hands and get back here." He rolls his eyes.
"Of course, princess." We both chuckle and I lay down for a bit as I hear his feet on the floor and the running water. I hear it stop flowing and his footsteps getting closer. I sit back up and take another cotton ball ready to clean his fists. I clean his hands and they don't look as raw as mine but they look much more bruised.
"Done." He gives me a warm smile.
"Thanks."
"No problem. Um, Nico I'm going to shower and then go see what Emily wants."
"Oh, of course. Excuse me then. I'll see you later I guess." I nod. He gets up and leaves and I tidy up. After I'm done I head over to the closet and pick some clothes to throw on. I quickly get in the shower and after a few minutes I get out and dry myself off. I put on the sweatpants and t-shirt I had grabbed before combing my hair and drying it slightly. I get my slippers and hurry down.
"Hey, Emily. Sorry for taking so long."
"It's fine. I mean at least I got to eat." I watch as she stuffs a handful of popcorn into her mouth and look at the way she's laying on the couch, ungraceful as always.
"So, what's up." He raises her shoulders.
"I don't know. I just wanted to come see you. Check up on you." I smirk.
"Or maybe talk about a certain someone?" I watch as she blushes.
"No, well I mean I guess if it like came up or something. Maybe, not that I had the actual intention of coming here to talk about him."
"Em, I'm just teasing you. I've never seen you so nervous before." I laugh and then smile at her. I know that this is big for her, moving on from what happened.
"Right. So I was thinking maybe we can watch a movie and then head to your room and catch up or something. Have a sleepover." I grin, it's been a while since we've acted normal and I would like nothing more.
"Sounds great."
"Awesome! So, I already picked a movie. I hope you like it. Come sit down." She pats the spot next to her and I turn off the lights before sitting by her side. Once I do she picks up another bowl from the floor that I hadn't noticed and hands it to me. Only Emily would consider it appropriate for each of us to have our own full bowl of popcorn.
"Oh, wait." I watch her bend down and take out a blanket from her bag. A few strands of hair fall out of place and she readjusts the messy bun on top of her head. She sits up and puts the blanket on top of our crossed legs.
"What is it about?" I turn to look at her as I ask.
"It's a movie about two sisters who are princesses. One of them has powers, she can freeze stuff and those sorts of things. It's great." She places some more popcorn in her mouth.
"Ok." I sit back and watch the animated movie. From the beginning I find it interesting and also quite sad. They're sisters but once they grow older they aren't close at all.
"Hey." We turn and look at Nicholas as he makes his way to the couch. He sits down on the other side of me.
"What's this?" I hear Emily scoff.
"As if you don't know." I see her roll her eyes while smirking.
"I don't." He answers cooly but we both know very well that he's lying. His love for these movies is no secret. We sit in silence as the movie continues until I feel Emily moving around and reaching for her bag again. I hear the crinkling of a bag and watch as she throws some chocolate bars and cookie packages onto my legs. She settles back down and grabs a pack of cookies and starts eating them. I laugh once I look at Nicholas staring at her wide-eyed. I hand him a chocolate and he takes it.
"Thanks." I nod and grab a pack of cookies for myself. I throw the rest of the food to the side. After a while a scene comes where the older sister is climbing a mountain after running away, hoping to escape from her life and the possibility of hurting others with her powers. I listen as she starts to sing. It's a lovely song. I hear Em laugh.
"You okay there, big guy?" I turn to Nico and notice he's nervous.
"Me? I'm fine." He turns back to the screen but I notice his jaw is tight. Emily rolls her eyes.
"Man, just sing already. I don't want you getting a stroke or something."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I hear Emily start singing at the top of her lungs. I have to cover my ears because of the volume but I have to admit that she has a beautiful voice. I get startled as soon as I hear a deeper voice join her. I turn to look at Nico with his eyes closed singing with more passion than I had ever seen. I laugh along with Emily at the sight of Nicholas practically standing up and dancing to the song. Once it's over he looks at us sheepishly. He clears his throat, puts on his serious face and sits stiffly. This only causes us to break into laughter again. His frown morphs into a smile, then a grin until eventually he's laughing with us. Just as the three of us are laughing a thought hits me. Alessandro. I try my best to not let the negative thoughts consume me but it's at times like these when I feel a genuine joy that I feel the most guilty. I know I can't do anything for now and I shouldn't beat myself up for trying to forget about my problems for a bit but I can't help it. I play it off and they don't notice anything and we continue to watch the movie. I manage to push away the guilt but for the rest of the movie it resurfaces every one in a while. I laugh whenever Nicholas sings along, apparently he no longer feels ashamed about his love for these movies.
"Ok, so sleepover?" Emily asks as soon as the movie ends. I nods. Nicholas gets up and walks over to the light switch.
"Close your eyes." We do as we're told and he turns the lights on. I open my eyes slowly and they adjust to the brightness. I take a look at the mess we left on the couch, wrappers and crumbs littered all over.
"We have to clean this up otherwise Mel is going to kill us!" I yell and whisper at the same time. The other two seem to register the garbage and we all rush to clean it up. All that's left is to take the bowls to the kitchen. I grab them and just as I turn to take them to the sink Melinda is standing right there.
"Oh, hi Mel." I smile.
"Hello, sweetheart." She looks at the bowls in my hands.
"Oh, um I'll just..." I rush out of there and I hear Emily and Nico talk with her. I come back and Mel is on her way back to her room.
"Have a good night dear." I nod and smile.
"You too." Once I'm with them Emily goes off.
"Thanks a lot! If there was even the smallest crumb we would be dead! Great to see you're ready to ditch us as soon as we face danger." Of course, as dramatic as always.
"It was just Mel. Relax." I roll my eyes. We both smile at each other.
"So, ready for the sleepover?" Emily asks. I nod and then look at Nico.
"You can join us if you want." I watch as he thinks it over.
"I was actually going to stay outside of your door to stand guard until Marcos and Axel get here but if you guys don't mind then I'll hang out with you until they arrive."
"Why would you guard my door?" He looks at me with a face that screams 'really?' and I remember last nights events.
"Oh, right."
"Um, sorry what? A little lost here!" Emily interrupts.
"I'll tell you once we get upstairs." She groans.
"Fine!" She turns around picking up her bag and starts walking towards the stairs. I go after her and Nico follows behind me. She swings my door open and sits herself down on my bed Nicholas closes it as I sit down next to her. Nico sits facing both of us. We're in some sort of circle.
"So...what happened this time?" She raises her arms and I laugh, however I notice Nicholas stiffen.
"Someone broke in last night. They were trying to...kill me." I watch her face and it reflects a mix of worry and anger.
"But how did they get in? Who was it? Did you catch them already? Does this have to do with the way you came home before?"
"It was one of our men and Nicholas...took care of it already. So, yes that's why he looked that way before. I actually don't know how he got in?" I say and ask at the same time while looking at Nicholas.
"He got help. One of the guards helped him get in unnoticed. He didn't tell us who it was but Luca already had his name so as soon as we found out they came to collect him and we took care of him as well." His face is serious, his jaw clenched and his eyes blazing with rage at the reminder of the events.
"Oh." I can tell Emily is uncomfortable. She hasn't experienced as much and knowing that those men were killed probably reminded her of the fact that all of the men in this house are killers. I know their reasons but for her it must still be a shock.
"What about you Ambs? Why did you come home with bloody fists?" I look down.
"I guess I just broke. Some days I can handle it but other days I just feel so angry or sad. I don't always have the energy to control my emotions and that's what happened today. I felt so frustrated! I remember thinking how unfair it all is. First dealing with Cobra practically all my life, losing my mother, being held prisoner by that bastard Dominic and now having Alessandro taken away from me. I never get a break. It's just one bad thing after another." Emily looks at me with sympathy and seems to not know what to tell me. Nicholas also seems like he wants to speak but I beat both of them.
"But, Nico went to see me and after talking with him I realized that at least those bad things brought many good things. I have you two and a whole other bunch of men that love me. I have a family." I smile at them both and they seems satisfied by my answer. We spend the rest of the time talking about nonsense or whatever we thought up. I love seeing Emily much happier and the fact that Nicholas seems to be warming up to her some more. It brings me such joy to watch two people I love get along.