Chapter
I typed in my name. It was weird using a laptop, as Anna called it. I remember those huge computers that I used to play on as a kid, but not those. She said that no one uses those big ones anymore. Typing felt weird, as if it was something that I knew so well yet forgot, which actually happened.
I was trying to find anything about myself. There had to be a missing report- in no way will I believe that I didn't have family. I knew I had them somewhere in California. California wasn't far away, but it was huge. I just knew I lived near the city but also close to the beach. I could just feel the wind of the waves, the smell of the salty water. Something inside of me told me I grew up around that and based on my memories, it was true.
Nothing. Nothing came up. Zero. I sighed in frustration, typing in some keywords to try to find results. Anything, please. It wasn't working. I was scrolling down through the useless websites, not being able to take a step further. Anna came in with a cup of coffee, giving me one. I set the laptop on the table, exhaling loudly.
"Did you find anything?" she asked me. I shook my head.
"It's as if my mind and memories are lying to me" she looked at me in confusion, before she put her coffee down.
"There is one thing that you need to promise me" she said, pointing a finger at me. I raised an eye-brow but nodded anyway.
"What is it?" I asked her, not knowing where this was heading.
"You have to promise that you will trust your mind. Your mind and your memories are real, don't forget that. Don't give up on them, you need them to guide you to your roots" she said softly, but stern. I nodded vaguely, knowing that she was right.
"I have talked with some people about Richard" she said, breaking the silence. I looked at her with wide eyes. I could just feel the anger inside of me awaken.
"Why would you do that?" I spat out. She just rolled her eyes.
"Because I want to know his intention. I want to know what his connection is with the creep that took you" she said, making the hairs on my back stand up.
"Don't talk about him" I said a little too fast.
"I told you not to get involved. He has allies everywhere. If something happe-" she didn't even let me finish.
"Nothing will happen. Look, you have been staying here for over two months now. He hasn't done anything yet but I know he is waiting for the right moment. I just want to know what he wants" she said, creasing her eye-brows, showing that she was thinking deeply.
"It's Genie all over again" she half-whispered. My head looked up at the name.
"That's the second time I hear that name. Who was she?" I asked. Anna just looked at me with wide eyes.
"Where did you hear that before?" she asked. I tried to remember, but it was very vague.
"I think Savannah had mentioned it once to Richard or her husband, I can't really remember" I answered, taking the last sip of my coffee. Anna just looked at me, still shocked.
"You need to remember. This is very important. What did they say about Genie?" she asked, making me confused with her behaviour.
"Why does it matter?" I asked her. She then grabbed the laptop from me, typing in some things. She then pulled out an article, showing me it. I still had a hard time reading, since I hadn't read anything when I was back there and pretty much forgot about it. Especially little writings were hard to read, so I grabbed the laptop and sat it on my lap.
'Genie is the for an who was a victim of severe , , and . When she was a baby her father concluded that she was severely , a view which intensified as she got older, causing him to dislike her and withhold care and attention. At approximately the time she reached the age of 20 months he decided to keep her as as possible as a result of this belief, so from that time until she reached the age of 13 years and 7 months he kept her locked alone in a room. During this time he almost always kept her strapped to a child's toilet or bound her in a crib with her arms and legs completely immobilized, forbade anyone from interacting with her, provided her with almost no stimulation of any kind, and left her severely malnourished. The extent of her isolation prevented her from being exposed to any significant amount of speech, and as a result she did not acquire during her childhood. In the first several years after Genie's early life and circumstances came to light, , , and other scientists focused a great deal of attention on Genie's case, seeing in her near-total isolation a unique chance to study many aspects of human development. Upon determining that Genie had not yet learned a language, linguists saw Genie as providing an opportunity to gain further insight into the processes controlling and to test theories and hypotheses identifying during which humans learn to understand and use language'.
"Take that crap away from me" I said, putting the laptop on the couch and standing up. I felt the hot tears stream down. My mind went back to the hole where he would tie me to the wall with only a little space for me to move. I remember the ache of my bones, shooting through me now. I wrapped my arms around me, trying to ease the pain. It helped when I was back there. I had discovered it myself. I looked ahead, seeing that he had left me with a little water. I was feeling this feeling, which was actually good.. He hadn't come for a long time. He didn't hurt me, he didn't come and punish me. I let out a breath, trying to reach the bucket with the last water. It was hard, since the straps weren't long enough. I was close, almost touching it. I looked at my feet, wanting to take a few more steps. They were shaking, as always. When I reached the bucket, I touched it, trying to push it back. But I touched it a little too hard, making my last chance of water waste on the floor. I fell to my knees, silently crying to myself. I should be punished. This was stupid of me. I was always stupid. Just stupid.
"Come on! Get back to me!" I heard from beside me. I jumped softly, turning my head immediately to the voice. I closed my eyes for a second when I realized it was Anna.
"Was it a memory? I am so sorry for showing you that. I just really want to know their intention" she said, nearing me but I held my hand up. The worst part was that she always wanted to touch me- hug me- after seeing memories. I hated it. I hated being trapped between someone's arms. It made breathing hard and it made me feel like I was locked back there again. I wiped my sweaty forehead with my hand. I got mad at myself for shaking so much.
"I'm going to bed" I said, walking out of there as soon as possible. I walked over to the shower, silently humming to myself to break the silence. I turned the shower on, not bothering to take my clothes off. I sat down on the ground, letting the water walk on me. I smiled softly, knowing that I had now as much water as I wanted. The tears were mixed with the water, making them invisible. I closed my eyes, actually, I couldn't stop them from closing. I felt an immediate headache start, so I put my head in my hands. The smell of the hole was still present, yet I tried to think of something good. Iyaz's face came into my mind, yet I refused to think of him. It wasn't good. It actually hurt me. I hadn't seen him for such a long time now- two months, yes I had been counting. He never called, which was so unlike what I had thought. Maybe he had been always like this, I didn't know. I shook my head, wanting to think of something else. My mind jumped to a colorful page. Blue.
"Aiya, have you asked for the party already?" I heard a voice from beside me. I was two people, I knew it. Because I saw a smile on me that I didn't put there.
"Yes, I will come" I heard myself say, not even realizing it. The person next to me giggled out loud. She was a loud girl. It made me annoyed. Yet I couldn't deny that I wanted to see her face.
"You know, you are the only one I trust in the group. The rest is nice too, but you and I grew up together. Even though we are not real sisters, I feel like we are" I heard her say. Suddenly, I was too curious to know who she was. 'Who are you?' I wanted to ask, yet nothing came out. I felt myself being filled with a feeling that was near to what I had felt with Iyaz. Betrayal, yet now I felt the one guilty.
I opened my eyes from the different memory. It gave me insight of the ocean that I knew I grew up near to. So is that how having a friend feels? It was nice though, quite nice.
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IYAZ MY BOY WHAT HAPPENED