My limbs felt like jello.
Turning over in my bed, I felt as if I was dragging every limb attached to my body.
My mind thought it would be cool to shut down its connections with the rest of my body after that sexual assault we had to endure from Zedlin last night.
Zedlin. Last night...
Oh. My. God!!
Just to be sure, I reached down and palmed myself between the legs. Yep, my panties were crusted with my dried up secretions from last night or actually, earlier this morning.
"Oh my God... he's gonna kill me." I found myself saying out loud.
He somehow found his way out of here last night as my bed didn't occupy him.
I reached out and grabbed my cell phone off my bedside table and disconnected it from the charger.
The usual greeted me. Mason's nonstop text messages apologizing for being a possessive jerk.
I took note that it was ten minutes till nine thirty in the morning. I hadn't slept long, but then again having a powerful orgasm can knock a girl into a lethal and much needed sleep.
As I got up, the comforter disappeared from my bare legs and goosebumps quickly infested my skin.
I rubbed my hands a little and stepped over to my closet, discarding my dirty panties into my laundry hamper and retrieving a towel to take a much needed shower.
*
"Sienna, you're not hungry sweetheart?"
I snapped my head up from my plate and watched my food lose its color, as the heat and oil dried up from it just sitting untouched.
Much to my relief, I emerged from my room to find no trace of Zedlin. He was still passed out with probably one heck of a hangover.
"I am, I'm just thinking. Got a lot on my mind." I picked up a piece of bacon and nibbled on it to put her mind at ease.
My mom greeted me with an understanding smile, then went back to her phone where she was no doubt losing her mind on Pinterest.
David caught my eye and smiled, "How's things? You talk to Mason yet?"
Way to go, David -- my mom didn't know what had happened with him.
But I'm sure he knew that, which is why he was bringing it up as a conversation starter.
On cue, mom lifted her head and frowned, "Have you two not been speaking?"
"Ah, no. He got a little emotional and--"
"Yeah, emotional alright. Zedlin was telling me how he walked up on them outside the house and Mason was in Sienna's space, so he had to interfere and send him home. He didn't want anything to happen to her." David explained.
My eye slightly twitched.
"What? Sienna, did he hurt you?" Her big eyes widened at me.
"No. No. It's not like that. He just gets--"
"Insecure of Zedlin, I'm guessing." David chuckled.
Mom shook her head, "Oh poor thing. Mason realizes Zedlin's your stepsibling, right?"
"Yes, but--"
"You should really explain the circumstances to Mason better, Sienna. I know Zedlin's a looker, but he's also related to you."
David picked up his coffee mug and murmered against the brim, "Debatable."
My eyebrows shot up and my mom gave him the side eye.
"David..."
He laughed and sat his cup down, looking at my mom with mirth, "Come on, Dina, we're all thinking it. Her boyfriend is worried that something will brew between Zedlin and Sienna. I joked with them about this the other day, I know I'm the only one who finds it funny, but it's true. Her boyfriend is proving to be a little overbearing, which can be worrisome."
"I know... you're right. Oh, Sienna, please make good descions. I worry about you so much!"
I frowned and just kept my mouth shut. I had been interrupted too many times and it was evident that this conversation was going to finish with or without my thoughts added in.
Thankfully, the kitchen table got quiet and I started to pick over my cold food. Halfway through my soggy waffle, a body shuffled into the kitchen and everything below my waist clenched up, as if silently saying, "Hello friend. We want to play again."
"Morning, son. You look like you had a rough night."
Zedlin let out a grunt as he pulled the chair out at the end of the table and plopped down into it.
Mom rose up and went to a drawer in the kitchen, coming back towards Zedlin. She pressed three Advil's into the table and gave his arm a slight pat.
"So, what did you get into last night, Zed?" David sipped at his coffee while boring a gaze over the rim of his mug.
"Nothing. Chilled with some friends."
His voice made me feel as if his fingers were still inside me.
I needed to stop.
David chuckled, "Hell of a chill session."
Zedlin reached out and scraped the pills off the table mat. Tossing them into his mouth, he grabbed at the pitcher of orange juice in the middle of the table and placed his mouth right over the spout.
"Uhh..." My mom breathed.
We all watched Zedlin's Adams apple bobbed up and down with each pull of the juice down his throat.
Zedlin slammed the empty pitcher back onto the table and looked up.
"What?" He looked around at us and my face blew up.
"You couldn't just have grabbed a glass?" My mom questioned.
He shrugged, "I knew I would drink it all, so what's the point?"
"Point is, have table manners." David butted in, causing Zedlin to scowl while dragging a hand through his overly long hair.
He hadn't looked directly at me and it made me nervous.
I continued to eat my cold waffle and when I finished, I looked up and couldn't help but glance.
Zedlin shoved fork fills of food into his mouth. He chewed with his mouth closed and used a napkin to wipe his lips, as always.
Randomly, he looked up and our gazes met. I couldn't help the blood rising to my cheeks.
His eyebrows furrowed as if confused, then he looked away from me.
My mind swirled with thoughts of what he could be thinking of. Hell, he probably didn't remember and maybe that was a good thing.
"Thanks for breakfast." I hurriedly shoved my chair away from the table and took my plate to the dishwasher.
"Sienna."
Okay, relax.
"Yeah?" I turned and Zedlin was towering over me.
"Can you put this in the dishwasher?" He held his plate and the pitcher he had used as a cup.
"Sure."
I took them from him and placed everything in the dishwasher. To my relief, he didn't say anything about last night.
It is probably best to just act like nothing happened. I mean, I basically took advantage of a sexy drunk guy.
"Ugh." I groaned and exited the kitchen.
This was so bad, but I had to play it cool.
*
"He WHAT?!" Elise was losing her shit over everything that was going on since I'd last seen her.
Her blonde hair flailed wildly as she snapped her head up from her cellphone. We were currently at her place as I just had to get out of my house.
I started off telling her about how Mason got all in my face a couple days ago.
"Yeah, he just wouldn't let me go. He kept wanting me to get in his car and I just didn't want to go. Zedlin had to come outside and intervene." I summed it up.
"Wow, what a dìck. I'm glad your sexy stepbrother came to the rescue. What's been new with him?" She sat her phone down and reached her hand into the bowl full of grapes that sat between us on her bed.
Here goes nothing...
"Yeah, about him. So, uh... He may or may have not came home really drunk last night, stumbled his way into my room and fingered me into oblivion."
Yeah, like ripping off a bandaid. Good.
If I thought she got crazy over Mason, then this was borderline insanity.
"What the fùck??" She screeched, grasping at the blonde strands cascading from her head.
She pulled her hair and stood up abruptly, nearly flipping over the bowl of grapes.
"Si, are you fùcking kidding me right now? Are you joking!?" Her eyes were wide like plates and I could feel my cheeks heating up.
"No, I'm not joking. Before you get so crazy though, he doesn't remember. This morning he showed no memory and it just goes to prove that he was super drunk. So -- outta sight, outta min-"
"No! This is huge. We're not putting this off to the side and burying this. You let your stepdads son, touch your Gi-Gi!" She flopped back onto the bed and grasped the bowl of grapes between us, "Oh my God, you have a boyfriend."
I rolled my eyes and watched her gawk at me. She seemed to be looking at me in a whole new light and it was obvious she didn't expect this from me.
I didn't expect it from myself.
"So, he has no clue he finger fùcked you last night?"
"None." I put a grape into my mouth to avoid having to talk more. Elise looked completely stunned though, so we just sat and silently ate grapes on her bed for awhile.
I kinda wondered what was going through her head, but I also didn't want to know.
She was probably thinking a lot of negative things, but this wasn't completely my fault. Yes, I could've done a better job at stopping him, but I also was attacked out of nowhere. Doesn't that count for something?
"When's the last time you talked to Mason?" She asked and I frowned.
What'd he have to do with this?
Everything... idiot.
"I already told you. Why?"
Elise looked at me with apologetic blue eyes, "I think you really should try and stop messing around with Zedlin. Yes, he's hot as shìt, but he's also trouble and an asshole and I feel he'll ruin you. You're so kindhearted and innocent and I don't want him to ruin that. I think Mason is a good guy, better than Zedlin."
I couldn't believe this...
"Is this because he's a convict? That doesn't define him as a person. That's so messed up." My voice was weak and my shoulders curled in a little.
This was how he was always gonna live his life? Being judge for his past. It's not fair. I know he's a good person.
"He's a great person. I know he is--"
"You barely know him. He hasn't even lived with you a full year. Come on, Sienna. Use the brains I know you have. I think you can be great friends with him, but I seriously suggest keeping all sexual feelings at bay. I don't think he'll be good to you in that department." She continued to look at me cautiously and it ran through my head for a split second of how she always talks about him.
It maked me think of how she's attracted to him. How she wants to sleep with him.
I can't bring myself to speak the words, because either way it goes it'd be bad. Her denying it and getting angry at me for making the assumption. She could also not deny it and then what? I get mad at her because we want the same guy?
Speaking the words would make it come to light and I don't want any part of this type of light to be let in between Elise and I. I'd rather keep that in the dark and save the strong bond we have on our friendship.
Letting out a deep breath, I forced a small sad smile with closed lips and agreed.
"You're right. He's a total tool and he knows it. He knows exactly what he's doing and he would not be good for me. I'll reach out to Mason and talk things through. I just needed space and honestly, what went on between Zedlin and I was a mistake. He doesn't remember it and I'll make sure it stays that way, because I won't mention it. Thanks for looking out for me." I put my fake perfected smile into play.
Elise smiled happily and threw her arms around me, leaning over the empty bowl between us.
"I'm sorry if I sounded like an unsupportive friend, but this is the best for you. You're way out of his league. He'll need a 20 foot ladder to reach your standards."
I hugged her back and closed my eyes briefly, struggling with the painfully empty feeling churning my insides.
I was so empty with the idea of how Elise thought about me and Zedlin. It's not fair.
"Thanks, Elle." I kept it simple to not get defensive with her.
I was probably already too emotionally invested in Zedlin, but I couldn't just turn it off. He was a good person.
And I knew somewhere deep inside, he could pull it out for everyone else to see it, too.