Ethan
I am laying in bed, it's been just over three weeks since I bought Allie Rose to the hospital. It's nearly lunch time on this breezing, cold Saturday. I usually go see Allie Rose after school but I don't have school today so I'll go later. When I get the courage to go see her.
I hear a quiet knock on my door before the door knob turns slowly.
"Hey Eth.."
"Cam."
Cameron comes and sits on the edge of my bed softly.
"You want some breakfast, or lunch even?"
"N-no I'm good."
"You have to eat something Ethan."
"Why? I'm not hungry. I'll eat later."
"You going to see her today?" Cam sighs.
"Yeah.. I will always go see her Cam.. until she tells me not to.."
"Are you okay though?"
"I miss her, even when she wasn't mine or with me, she still had a smile on her face that made me happy, she changed me Cam. No one has done that before."
"But Eth, you broke up with her. You ended things didn't you.?"
"Ye-yeah. I was scared people would make fun of me.. again. And then they'd make fun of her and I couldn't do that to her but I think I made it so much worse because she won't even talk to me."
"How'd you know to take her to the hospital then.?"
"I sat with her in art and-and she wrote a letter to me then she left before I finished reading it.. She's sick Cam, she thinks she's going to die anyway.."
My vision starts to blur and then I feel a tear run down my face and drop onto my shirt. I don't cry often, only when I really care about someone or something. I haven't cared about someone the way I do Allie Rose, I butter them up, sleep with them then leave them. Allie Rose? I never buttered her up, I never slept with her but I still left her. With my lack of emotions I didn't know I would miss her at all. But I do.
So much.
"Come have lunch then I can come with you if you want?" Cam says in just a whisper.
"You don't have to.."
"I want to, I don't have any plans this weekend anyway."
"O-okay.."
I slowly crawl out of bed and make my way to the bathroom, striping of my cloths I turn the hot shower water on and wash my body.
I run down the stairs and sit at the kitchen table with Cam and Gray. The way my sandwich is made I can already tell Gray made lunch. I look up to him and he rolls his eyes knowing I know he made lunch.
***
Allie Rose was at my house once again. It was close to the end of summer. We were sitting at the kitchen table and Gray walked in.
"Use look hungry."
"I'm always hungry!" Allie Rose laughed.
"Please I'm never hungry if you're offering."
Gray and I always joke about his food being shitty but it was hard to judge when was the right time. This was not.
"Seriously Ethan!?"
"I was joking gees Gray."
"I'm so sick of your jokes, they're probably not even jokes anymore!" Gray yelled before stomping his way upstairs.
***
Cam starts the car engine and plugs in her seat belt before pulling out of our driveway. We sit in silence the whole ride to the hospital, mainly because there is nothing to talk about and because neither of us wanted to break the silence. Cam finally breaks it after twenty minutes when she pulls up at the hospital. We both stepp out and I make my way through the familiar corridors. The same creamy-white paint on the walls, the odd person in the dark, blue hospital uniform or light blue hospital gowns, the crying of an old lady in the waiting room, a doctor talking to and man and woman and then there it is the door that reads 342 Allie Rose's room. I knock on the door softly incase her mother is still in there. I walk in slowly, softly and quietly as always. The beeping of the machines echoing in my ears and the slight chatter of the nurse and Allie Rose's mother. I walk around the curtain hoping Allie Rose would be awake but she isn't. She is still sleeping soundlessly, no movement except the breathing which the machine is doing for her. I sigh before saying a quiet hello to the nurse and Allie Rose's mother. She's been crying, Allie Rose's mother. I begin to grow scared, the pit of my stomach growing a dark hole, my heart dropping slowly as I watch Allie Rose's mother stand up.
"Ethan.."
"Y-yeah what happened? Did something happen?" My voice quieter than hers.
"What are you doing tomorrow?"
I stand here waiting, thinking. Waiting for Allie Rose's mother to break down, her eyes not looking at mine, her head low and her eyes dark and gloomy.
"Coming to see Allie.. W-why?"
She sighs lightly. "The doctors suggest it's best to turn off the machine making her breathe-"
"They can't she needs that machine!"
"We are helping her breathe on her own but it will only work if she wants to breathe on her own." The nurse steps away from Allie Rose.
"W-what if she doesn't want to?"
"We can't make her."
***
"Allie Rose.?" I sat up from my bed.
The two of us were laying on my bed, Allie Rose was humming some beautiful tune and I was just listening to the soft noises escaping her lips. She turned her head to look at me.
"Yeah?"
"You know I would miss you? The other day you asked if I thought about people missing me. I'd miss you."
"You're still on that?" She whispered almost like she wanted me to forget about it.
"Y-yeah I just don't understand why you asked."
"It was a sad movie.."
"Allie, it wasn't the movie. I know you."
"Well if it helps I'd miss you too."
She turned her head to face the ceiling.
"You wouldn't try and hurt yourself would you.."
"Ethan I'll always be breathing for you.."
"Okay.." I whispered so quietly.
I layed back down and Allie Rose placed her head on my chest gently.
***
I jump out of bed determined for Allie Rose to wake up. I showered a hot shower and changed into my jeans and hooded jumper. Before running down the stairs. I grab my phone, an apple and call for Grayson.
He walks down the stairs with a sour look on his face. The one time I need his confidence and positivity he doesn't have any. A sudden gush of sadness and guilt washes over my now tense body and I stand in the kitchen biting into my apple. He gives me a small smile before grabbing the keys off the marble bench top. The two off us walk out to the car and Gray drives us to the hospital, fear starts to control me as I begin to curl up in my seat. My thoughts playing over in my head. Words, sentences from Allie Rose's letter start to replay. please forget about me and please forgive me.? My mind starts to jumble itself around, convincing me it's my fault Allie Rose is in that hospital bed, I'm the reason she let go.
Gray and I walk into her room. Her mother standing with her father. Her brothers sitting on the small sofa watching their parents cry. Allie Rose's mother turns when she hears Gray and I walk in, I give her a small, fake but reassuring smile before walking over to Allie Rose's side. I hear the door open and two male doctors in white coats walk in from behind the curtain, two more nurses following them. I swallow the lump in my throat and watch as they look around the room.
The doctor with short, black hair starts to explain what they're going to be doing. I stand my eyes on Allie Rose, blocking the mumbles of the doctor and the machines out. The doctor makes his way to the machine next to Allie Rose and tells everyone to step away incase something goes wrong. Grayson stands beside me with his arm around my shoulder, my sight not leaving Allie Rose. My thoughts are interupted by a continuous loud beep. Not beeping of a heart rate but beeping of no heart rate. I step forward despite Gray trying to hold me back. I grab her hand tight.
"Breathe for me remember? You said you'll always breathe for me. Wake up.."
a/n that's the end..