"So stop time right here in the moonlight,
Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes."
-
Sana wasn't stupid. No, she wouldn't consider herself a genius with an IQ of 148, but she wasn't anything near stupid too. (She didn't graduate university with the highest GPA in her semester for nothing.)
She could see it pretty clearly, the images of two nights ago still vivid in her mind, never failing to fill her body with warmth, canceling any uncertainty or fear, but the events that took place after the personal moment they shared were seeming to slowly fill her with dejection, causing her to grow anxious.
Jimin was avoiding her, and she wasn't stupid.
She could clearly see the signs, he really was ignoring her, and she wanted to ask so many things from him.
Why, if he had to come to this, to make this a conclusion, avoiding her roundly, why did he give her all those signs? Why did he kiss her like his life was dependent on it? Why did he look at her like he'd go to the ends of the world for her? Why?
Perched on a sofa with a book in her hand, she barely paid any mind to the cluster of words on the page, gnawing on her bottom lip instead as her eyebrows were pinched together in a contemplative frown.
"Gosh," she sighed, breaking out of her trance as she leaned back into the sofa, bringing both of her hands to rub her face without much finesse. Peering at the ceiling with her eyelids heavy, she pursed her lips in a thin line, breathing slowly.
Slowly bringing her fingers to her lips, she pressed them gently on the soft flesh, skin growing warm before she shook her head, standing up as she placed the book back onto the coffee, barely giving herself a glance in the mirror before walking out of the hotel suite with a sliver of hope blooming in her chest again.
-
"Um– what?" Jimin asked slowly as he stood firmly at the entrance of his door, blocking whatever he seemed to be hiding from Sana.
Sana shattered a bit on the inside, but kept a smiling face nonetheless.
"There's an art exhibition nearby, in one of the galleries here. I wanted to know if you wanted to come along?" She asked cautiously, smile faltering a bit when a hint of uncertainty flashed on his face.
"I'm– uh...a bit busy?" He replied, scratching the back of his neck, uncomfortableness written all over his body posture.
Sana blinked, feeling the burning annoyance, no– anger? Anger filling clouding her mind up. Taking a deep breath to calm her raging mood down, she didn't bother plastering a huge smile, giving him a curt nod with something along the lines of 'alright, good luck with whatever you're busy at,' before walking away, entering the elevator.
"We were kissing just the day before yesterday, just till fucking two days ago, what made him like that? What changed so suddenly?" She muttered, feeling the anger slowly ebb away, being replaced by something else, something far more familiar– dejection, sadness, just tiring. But this hurt so, so much more, and they weren't even together.
She walked out with even a heavier heart than before.
-
To say that Sana was tired would've been the biggest understatement of the century, for was she was aching all over. With her muscles sore, she yearned for the softness of the suite bed, wanting nothing more than diving into the fluffy blankets and feeling nothing but warm, maybe hoping to chase away the coldness seeping into her chest and heart.
She adjusted the strap of her purse, pressing her floor button before closing her eyes for a moment, pressing her head against the glass of the elevator.
She didn't have a hunch that visiting exhibitions of such sorts could be so tiring.
As soon as the door opened with a small ding, she sighed, dragging her feet out, humming contentedly at the warm atmosphere.
She didn't get a chance to live that peacefully because as soon as she turned around, she came to a stuttering halt, heartbeat pacing faster than before.
Jimin stood in front of her, wearing a cozy, pastel brown sweater, and she almost envied him for the warm clothing. His black locks were fluffy, not styled with much finesse but he still managed to look irresistibly handsome– she couldn't deny that.
Standing there without saying a word, she only stared at him, corners of her mouth pulling downwards at the reminiscence of the past two, horrible days after the wonderful kiss.
'The irony.'
Crossing her arms over her chest, she opened her mouth to say something, anything, but before she could do as much as that, Jimin raised a hand in the air, stopping her.
Sana raised her eyebrows questioningly.
"I...can you– can you come with me? Just for a moment?" He asked.
Sana was surprised at him stumbling upon his words, for once not seeing that man she was so used to seeing, the one who was always composed, always confident, never as painfully awkward as that.
She took good two minutes to reply, sighing slowly as she finally nodded, muttering a small 'alright' before following him as he smiled, leading her to his room.
Opening up the door, he let her in first, smiling sheepishly before closing the door. Sana turned around to face him, to ask him why, but he was soon grabbing ahold of her hand, lacing their fingers much similar to that night, steering her away to the balcony.
Sana was on the edge of breaking right there and then. Why was he playing with her feelings so much? Why was he confusing her to the point she couldn't even properly decipher her own desires and feelings. Why was he–
'Oh.'
The whole of her mind and jumbled mess of thoughts came to a sudden halt when she took in the place, the setting laid out for her, only her to see.
Rose petals were scattered, everywhere. Her eyes couldn't even catch a single glimpse of the usually pristine white tiled floor, petals covering the whole entirety of the ground. Scented candles were placed carefully along the sides of a seemingly pathway, at the entrance of which she stood.
Jimin cleared his throat somewhere at the back, and her shellshocked mind took a while to break out of the reverie, turning around to face him so quickly that the muscles of her neck protested in pain.
Ignoring that, she gawked at him with wide, open eyes. "I– Jimin...what's this?" She barely whispered, but he seemed to have heard her all well, body moving on it's own accord to come closer to her, close, close, closer. Never enough.
Sana inhaled his musky, clean scent, and the addicting cologne, the earlier fatigue and tiredness fading away in an instance.
"I'm horrible, ain't I?" Jimin chuckled, and Sana couldn't help but agree. Moving her head in a nod, she tried to glare at him, only getting lost in the soft glow of his skin that was casted by the candles.
"Horrible, yes you are. I can't deny that even if I wanted to," she muttered finally after a few moments.
Jimin smiled, small but there. Sana felt bad, guilty for being so straightforward and acting so petulant. The other, selfish and bristled part of her emphasized that she had the right to be as much petulant as she could be, but before she could utter another word, Jimin shook his head, squeezing her hand a bit.
"I know, and I'm so, so sorry. I just– at first, the night after I kissed you–" Sana grew hot at the abruptness of his words, but locked gazes anyway, "–I didn't know what to do. I was unsure of how I was supposed to tell you everything I had been suppressing for...for a while now," he hesitated.
Sana nodded, offering an encouraging smile. Jimin nodded too, closing his eyes as he drew a deep breath.
"But that wasn't entirely the case. After the night passed away, I felt like only talking without having a proper explanation won't do. As soon as I thought I was ready to tell you everything, I had this certain thing in my mind, not talking to you and acting the way I did until I had the perfect opportunity, and that was completely ignorant and idiotic of me. And about that," he winced, "I really am sorry, Sana. I just want you to know that that kiss meant a lot, the whole world for me."
He smiled softly, lowering his eyes to gaze at their joined hands. "I don't regret it, never. You're one of the best things that happened to me, alright? Not going with you when you came earlier, it was just–"
"Hey," Sana shushed him, giggling when he smiled awkwardly. "It's fine, I kind of understand why you did that. A true romantic, aren't you, huh?" She joked.
"Just for you," he played along, making Sana blush at his words despite the playfulness of the moment.
She cleared her throat, nodding to herself once before she looked up at him, smiling. "I...yes, I was aware of what I felt for you, but I didn't want to rush, nor make a decision just in the spur of the moment, and then regret afterwards for jumping too quickly to conclusions, you know? Just in case I wasn't completely certain about my feelings, because it's been a long time since my...my last relationship, and if that happened, me not certain about my feelings, I would've done nothing but hurt you. But, that kiss," she blushed profusely, relishing in the way he chuckled slightly, circling his arms around her waist as she sighed happily. "I feel like that kiss was a confirmation of sorts. I just– felt so right about it, about us," she said.
Jimin hummed nodded, leaning down to peck her forehead and she smiled. "It's..there's no need for proper labels or something if you are content with this. I won't force you, nor will I ask you to say you like me, yeah? Is that okay?"
Sana blinked, hands curling as the front of his shirt, much like the replay of the events of two nights ago. Sana sighed slowly, lips curling into a soft smile as she wondered how on earth did this man make her fall for him so easily. The understanding and immense comfort of his words was more than enough, and she couldn't bring it in herself to stop the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes.
As soon as Jimin noticed, his smile morphed into a frown, hand coming up to wipe the stray year that flowed down her rosy cheek, hand encasing one side of her face completely. "What's wrong, love? Did I say something that hurt you?" He asked cautiously, but his words only managed to make her cry more, shaking her head as she did so.
Leaning forward until her forehead rested on his shoulder, she closed her eyes and shook her head again. "Nothing– nothing you say hurts me, Jimin. You're just so...I don't know, why are you like this?" She mumbled unintellingly, seemingly at a loss for words at the softness of his nature.
Sure, he had been nothing but impossibly warm and caring from the beginning, but now that they had confessed already, things seemed to take a completely new twist, feelings so much more stronger than ever before.
Jimin chuckled, pulling her back until she faced him again. "I don't know what you mean by that, but I suppose it's a good thing?" He spoke and Sana laughed, nodding as her fingers played with the soft texture of his sweater. Peering shyly up at him through her thick lashes, she smiled. "Kiss me?"
Jimin, he didn't need to be told twice. As soon as the words left her mouth, he pulled her flush against him, swallowing her surprised gasp, leaning in, and pressed their lips together.
Perfect.
He kissed her, over and over again as she asked, laughing along as she giggled, demanding for more.
He kissed her until their lips were red and swollen and sore, and the cold was starting to nib on their skins relentlessly, until she was so tired he had to carry her to bed with an assuring kiss on the head that he'd be here whenever she woke up, until he found himself drunk on the texture of her lips, and the sweetness of her taste.
And in her sleepy stupor and love-drunk mind when she muttered a low "I think I may be halfway in love with you, Jimin. s'that too soon? How– how do you make that so easy?", Jimin only chuckled, mumbling something inaudible to her ears, but she smiled nonetheless, and he pressed his lips to her eyelids, lulling her into a happy, content sleep.
He'd stay, for her, for them. Sana wouldn't be needed to be told twice to believe that because she knew.
Truly, she wouldn't have it any better. Surely, this happiness wouldn't be like spring, no, not evanescent. She hoped for that.
-
Okay okay hold up, let me have a second.
/takes a deep breath, slaps self on both cheeks/
OKAY HOLY SHIISJEKSKS 1K READS AND 200 VOTES?! WHAT IS THIS? Oh my God.
When I started writing this book, I never expected it to get even 300 hundred reads, yet here we are. Thank you so so so much for supporting Evanescent, I'm truly grateful.
Amidst all of my studies and college, I'd make sure to make time for writing, because it really is an escape.
Thank you once again, it really means a lot. 💞💞💞