It bothered me.
I wish I could say it was comforting because she accepted but it bothers me. Of course, I was delighted about it, in fact, I was barely able to hide it from her. The smile in my tone was easily hinted and my heartbeat was too fast.
Well, that was an hour ago but it still bothered me.
I didn't regret it, I liked the idea of dating Taylor. She's nice, she's kind and she's a joy to be around. She's the kind of person who can bring the sunshine and the storm at the same time.
What bothers me is the thought that what if, what if she'll change her mind again? I do know she wasn't as constant in her thoughts as I am.
And it bothers me that it IS bothering me. It doesn't feel right. I was usually more confident and less anxious.
Since I know I won't be getting my glasses in a while, I searched my room for my contact lenses. I rarely use them but I have no choice.
Right after I wore them, things are finer than crystal to my vision. It was relieving to not see near things blurry.
It wasn't so long after when Franco called again with my nephews, Jericho and Vincent Brent.
When I was given the chance, I rearranged the toys I've bought from several countries on my personal shelf. I looked through my phone gallery where I got them and when I got them. Lego houses, toy robots, remote control cars, limited edition board games and the like.
A toy shop. My dad usually would give me toys in every occasion he misses, which, is every occasion so I have an abundance of toys back home that I never gave or sold. Now, upon his death, he's given me enough toys to last the rest of my lifetime that he'll miss.
I wondered if it's the contacts that's making my eyes water or something else. I don't cry too easily, I've gotten used to sad moments and heartbreaks. But it's relieving to know that I still can, at least I'm still human.
Back to my desk, where there are loads of broken toys and disassembled parts. There's a wooden music box wherein I've only got the parts with the actual music box and the tiny ferris wheel attached to it. It's old and rusty so usually when I try to play it, it's a bit off-key.
After I got bored, I sat on my bed and turned the television on. I watched some news and then later, a few movies that I have watched before. I would do the laundry for the week if I wasn't lazy at the moment. Plus, it just started raining very lightly as if the season isn't cold enough but what do I care? I'm warm in my own home.
Simply another boring day.
Until, well, a knock was heard from my lying door.
I walked near my stairs and lied on my belly as I opened the horizontal door. Opening to 90º, I locked it to that wide open position as I saw Taylor standing on one of the steps. She's holding two cups of coffee with her bag slung at one of her shoulders.
"Should I give you the key to this door as well?" I asked though it doesn't have a key. It can only be opened from here, on the inside.
She smiled, looking up at me. Her curly hair had few droplets of water in them which reminded me of the sleet outside. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"
"Come up," I said and stood up. She walked up the steps and once she does, she looked around my room. "You're from work?" I asked.
She nodded, "Yeah, and I gotta take a trip to uh, Montreal this weekend. For some reasons."
"Pretty cold out there this time of the year," I said.
"My boss would send me to the middle of the the Atlantic if he needed me to," she said. "Oh were you watching?"
Taylor started skipping her way to my bed, scanning her eyes around. And then she saw the movie I paused.
"I did not peg you for a guy who likes this kind of thing," she said and laughed. "But I haven't watched it in a long time so. . ."
She unzipped her shoes and kicked them off then walked on top of my bed. She continued the movie once she found my remote.
"I was going to say 'make yourself at home' but it's completely unnecessary now, is it?"
She rolled her eyes, "Don't burst my bubble and sit down. It's been so long since I watched Mean Girls. Plus, I just got out from the rain so you could at least welcome me with warmer hospitality."
As requested, I sat beside her. "I do recall you coming in without permission."
"The key you gave me is the only permission I needed," she said and smiled. "Let me rest, I had a long day. Coffee?"
I couldn't exactly decline so the moment she handed it to me, I placed it on the lamp table with a grateful "thanks."
"And your glasses." She handed it to me without taking her eyes off the screen. "You left it in my room."
"You didn't have to," I said.
"Glasses are important to you, and taking a trip for it isn't so bad. It'll be a relief for you to be out of those contacts as well. You look good either way." Her nose crumpled as she looked at me. "Why are you watching this again?"
I was going to open my mouth to speak but then she said, "Cara. Cara gave you this, right?"
"Yes." I hung my glasses on my shirt.
"Thought so." Then she rubbed her eyes, reminding me that she probably didn't have as much sleep as I did because unlike me, she has a regular nine to five job.
For a time, I just let her watch the movie in peace. I didn't use my glasses just yet, but it's very comforting. I was thankful Taylor made all that way to give it back.
I stared at her for a while, as her eyes were purely focused on the screen. One time, her eyes slowly glanced at the side, "You know, what you're doing is uncomfortable."
"It's what you did with me the whole Thanksgiving," I said.
"Touche. Later with the cuteness, I want to watch the movie."
"Do you want to eat something?" I asked.
"Do you have popcorn?"
"I think I still do. Only, it might take a while." Assuming Cara didn't bring my supplies with her when she moved. I haven't really checked.
"Please?" She said with an innocent grin.
I sighed, "Alright."
"Thank you."
I stood up and prepared the pop corn, cheese flavoured. I hated any other flavour, they taste awful for me.
I handed it to her and she seemed so busy so I wasn't really expecting a reply. Regardless, she still thanked me.
When the movie ended, that was the only time she paid attention to me again. Either way was alright for me.
She turned the television off and looked at me. "I've made myself completely comfortable, did I?"
"Yes, you did." I started taking some popcorns from the bowl and started eating.
She gave me a slight shrug, "Can't blame me, this is the first time I've been to your second floor, yours is neater than my room."
I would have gone against it, but that's my opinion too. I simply kept eating as I haven't got much of a reply.
Seconds later, she handed me a sheet of scented paper, that looks like the ones you print certificates into. I flipped it over and saw a picture of my surprised face from last night, and it said, "Wanted for Kidnapping"
"Turns out," Taylor started as she kept chewing. "Tim did start making your wanted poster. He said, if I was gone for 24 hours, he would have xeroxed it. But when I got home, he told me to just give it to you as a souvenir from the Gleesons."
I couldn't decide whether to find that amusing or simply odd as Tim was seven or eight or nine and he's already had his mind into it.
"Can't blame the child," she continued in her calmly gentle voice. "He wants to be an investigator, forensics and stuff? He got that from watching too much CSI."
"Thank you." I put it on the lamp table and placed a lego car on it to hold it steady. "I don't know what to do with this but thank him too."
"Trust me, I'm very embarrassed right now."
It wasn't easy to tell as Taylor was placidly calm from tone to expression. There's nothing in her actions or demeanour that speaks of embarrassment.
She smirked a bit, "You don't believe me, do you?"
Now I want to ask her how she seemed like she could read my mind but before I could, she asked, "Your fireplace, you know, from downstairs, does it really have somewhere to go to or is it just style?"
"It used to be a real fireplace," I said. "But now, it's just for style, to make this place look like it's too old."
"It is too old," she pointed out and laughed after. "How's your basement, though? What's in it?"
I opened my mouth to answer but a question came out instead.
"How did you even know I have a basement?" I asked because I never recalled telling her I had a basement. I licked my lips right after and wiped my hand on my pants.
She opened her mouth and her eyebrows met as she her lips form to a thin line. "I assumed you have one?"
That was oddly unsatisfying yet I nodded along, trying to ignore the fact that once more, she's managing to give me those creepy feelings. "Books, shelves and other toys I bought that are from this millennia," I replied.
"Apart from the ones that are here right now, right?"
"Right."
"How often do you go down there?" She asked and put a few popcorns in her mouth.
"Only when I'm taking or bringing back the books. They were my father's old collection and I added a fair few."
"So you like reading?"
I shook my head no. "I only read to pass the time when I've had enough of my toys and -- why are we talking about this again?"
"We don't really know each other too well, Harry," she replied. "I don't know. I guess if we're going to try like being something, let's start from the basics."
"We know a lot about each other," I said. "I just happen to have restrictions in some subjects."
"And that's my point." She gave me a smile after. "Are you open today?"
"No," I answered. My shop was obviously not opened and she didn't need to ask me that. If I were a normal person, I would have said something sarcastic. Unfortunately, such speech style is what I try to avoid.
"So do I have the shop for myself?" She asked sweetly and I nodded.
She told me to come with her downstairs. I told her it was unnecessary as I trusted her around my shop but she insisted because even she doesn't trust herself so well. According to her, she might take all the dolls home if I did leave her alone down there.
I didn't believe her but I gave in and went downstairs with her. I looked at my watch and it was already seven though she doesn't seem to mind the time.
Taylor stood right in front of her favourite shelf where she's already bought three dolls of the same company and design, just different model numbers, years, and features. When I got this shop, I had ten of those. Four were sold to different owners and now she bought three, leaving three.
"Why do you like those dolls?" I asked.
"They speak to me," she answered, another creepy answer though I ignored it, like I usually do to prevent chills from spreading all over my body.
"And in what way?"
"Just reminders," she replied, never taking her eyes off the dolls. I know for a fact she's choosing which one to buy. "You know, the dolls are such a joy to be around. Simple smiles lighten up the place and such. It makes you feel like you have a baby without even getting pregnant."
Given the fact that men never get pregnant, the other fact that I've never had children, and the last fact that I've never played with baby dolls, I wouldn't know what she's talking about. It even creeped me out.
Well, it was until I remembered that these dolls were the eighties to nineties version of "Baby Alives" Some can also poop, eat, drink, use diapers and whatnot. What makes the new ones different is that most can speak, some can even walk or swim. I bought the one that can walk but I never dared taking it out of the box. The YouTube video I watched with the baby doll walking is already creepy as it is.
Moments later, Taylor chose a new doll with pale skin, rosy cheeks and curly blonde hair. It almost looked like her if the eyes weren't green. It's wearing a navy blue, old style school uniform with a cute little blue beret. It can shut its eyes when you lie it down.
I wasn't behind my counter. I was standing in front of one of the shelves, a few metres away when Taylor approached me, like I wasn't already looking at her.
I raised an eyebrow. I wouldn't like to ask questions but in this case, I should. "What do you expect me to do?"
"I'm gonna buy this," she said, as if I didn't realise that.
"And my shop is closed," I told her. I walked towards the counter but I didn't walk behind it. Instead, I took out my fountain pen and wrote her name on a piece of hard, cardboard paper. I wrote it in a much simpler style so I could finish faster.
"Come on, Harry. I want this." It almost sounded as if she was whining.
"I know you do," I said. "And my shop is closed." I really would stand by it, I'm not selling anything.
"Then why are you writing my name on that if you don't intend to sell it to me?" She asked. "Please? I want this."
I faced her after finishing what I was writing. I gave it to her, "But my shop is closed so I won't be selling anything." I crossed my arms and sighed. "Seems to me like I have no choice but to give it to you."
"Please, Harry I-- whoa. Really?"
I smiled with a nod as I put my pen back on my pen holder. It's very amusing to see her face transition from one emotion to another, it's almost surreal how she does it.
I was never one to be that observant but I seem to like everything she does, the little things are the most amusing to me.
"No, really?" She asked, different from her calmed, dreamy voice. Right now, she's ecstatic as though I've given her a diamond ring. "I can't--"
Taylor shut her eyes and calmed herself for the moment. Then, she gave me a playful glare. "We've just started to officially date and you're already spoiling me?"
One playful smirk formed out of my lips.
"I can spoil you all I want," I said.
She was trying hard not to smile, I know it but she failed miserably as it just showed up in her lips. "Don't let me get used to things. You're already getting a head start."
"And we're still on day one," I said, now recognising that this is the kind of tone my old self would use, devious and charming to the ladies.
It was true though, we're still just on day one, more days yet to come.