After dinner, Taylor told me it was their family tradition to have a movie marathon of any geeky series. Last year was Star Wars and this year, the honour goes to Harry Potter, which, she told me would be the third time they're watching in an occasion.
I clearly have no idea if we'd really watch the whole series because that is way too long for just one night.
Most of the family are settled on the couch whereas I chose to sit on the rug as it's much more comfortable. Taylor sat beside me the entire time, offering me popcorn every once in a while.
By the time the first movie has ended, most of the kids are already upstairs in their bedrooms, asleep whereas the stronger ones are still watching the Chamber of Secrets. Although little Timmy is still here, taking pictures every once in a while.
"Do you want to go home?" Taylor asked softly. I looked at my watch and it's already twelve, midnight.
Maybe I should.
I rubbed my eyes, "Sure."
"Right," she whispered. "Mom, Harry kind of needs to uh --"
Mrs. Gleeson nodded along. I sort of felt bad that they have to pause the movie for me but that's what they did earlier when Jessa left as well.
Everyone who is still awake came towards the doorway, only to see me leave. Although Taylor had told me she'd accompany me outside.
"Drive safely, Harry," Mr. Gleeson said.
"Yes, sir. Thank you for this evening." I tried my best to be polite as ever, a few things already came naturally though.
After exchanging a bunch of goodbyes and such, I was finally allowed to leave. Except as I was almost turning around, a blinding flash came over as it was pointed directly to me.
I glanced at Taylor and she immediately said, "It's not me."
Then I saw it was Timothy who had been taking pictures of scenes from earlier. He giggled and ran to the other room. A few members of the family apologised to me for some reasons. . . including Taylor.
"I'm so sorry, he does that to every guy or girl we go out with," she said.
"Why?" I asked.
Taylor sighed, grabbing one of her coats and a purple beanie. "So just in case you try to murder me, you wouldn't get away with it because he has your picture."
Oh.
"So sorry for that," Mrs. Gleeson said.
I gave her a smile to let her know it's alright even if it's a strange thing. They're a family consisted of strange people, but there was no insult to that. In fact, I admire the way they held their traditions, despite the horrible realities of the world.
"Yeah, okay um," Taylor said. "We'll get going."
"Sure. You two stay safe," said Gary Gleeson. We all said our farewells and we walked out.
Taylor took me by the arm the moment the door shut, making me walk faster. "Don't look back, they'll embarrassed if you catch them looking at us through the window," she said calmly.
I almost turned my head out of curiosity. But before I did, her grip had gone tighter on my arm so I didn't. I realised, right then that the temperature outside was lower than I expected. I really did want to put my hands in my pockets but with her grasp on one arm, the other was hopeless.
"I mean it, don't look back. Where's your car?" She asked.
"Parked it 'round the block," I answered, putting one free arm inside my pocket. "It's alright, I can take it from here."
"Do you want to walk around Central Park?" She asked. "Have you ever been there?"
I shook my head, "No, I've been there and I have no plans on doing it in the middle of the night."
She was disappointed but I know she didn't want to show it. I wanted to go along but I didn't want to give her much of a satisfaction that instant.
"Just an idea. I'd really love to have you around when I go there. And I kind of want to go there now." She finally let go of my other arm, which, I quickly put in my pocket.
Taylor had no problem with the cold, I usually don't but it was unfortunate enough that I chose thin clothing for my top. I've been used to far worse than this, but maybe my stay in America changed that as well.
"How far is it if we walked?" I asked.
She shrugged, her shoulders going up and down playfully more than a few times. "Just a coupe of blocks."
"Wouldn't it be easier if we drove there?" I quizzed.
"Then that would take the fun out of everything. Chances are, I'll fall asleep in your car. You know me, I fall asleep everywhere."
Well, she is not wrong about that.
I am absolutely going to regret what I am about to say.
"Right, just let me get my jacket from my car, and we'll get going. It's bit cold." That was an understatement, it's too cold as autumn is already coming to a close and winter is on its way.
Her lips pulled up to a smile, "Really?"
"Always wanted to see if New York is a city that never sleeps," I said even though I think I already know the conclusion to that thought.
"It never does," she replied and laughed. "Where's your car parked again?"
"Right at the corner, you know, that old tree with a tire swing?" I asked, quite unsure as maybe, I saw things incorrectly earlier.
"Good choice because that is near Jessa's house," she commented and started walking on ahead to that direction. As she does, she started tying her hair in a ponytail. "Why do you tolerate me?"
I looked around, taking one notice to the peaceful suburbs and the awfully low temeperature before asking her to repeat the question, which she did right after.
"You grew on me," I answered, I could barely think of other wordings that could explain why I come with her to places and such.
"That's it?"
I looked down at the ground with a smile growing on my lips. Alright, if she wants a direct answer. "Hasn't it occurred to you yet that I like you?" I gave her a glance and looked away immediately as I didn't want to see the look of confusion painted upon her face.
A fair number of steps were made when she chose to settle in silence. I never really did have back-up conversation topics to talk about with her so no words came out. It was until she spoke again.
"It occurred to me." She took a deep breath, "I just -- wow, I never thought I'd hear it too blunt and straightforward from you." Her voice reverted into a whisper, maybe she was shy or it's simply the way she talked, I couldn't really decide.
"True, I'm not a man of honest words," I said. "But, my actions would reflect what I want to say."
"Right now, I don't know what you want to say because you've been averting your gaze."
So she'll only believe it if I was looking directly at her? I didn't get that little point but alright, I'll let her settle for her beliefs.
"Look, it's just a weird confession when you're not even looking at --"
I rolled my eyes, "One thing leads to another, Taylor. If I were staring at you the moment I said I liked you, believe me, I'd rather we're inside my car or at least somewhere private."
"Oh." I was very satisfied with that reaction as it already said a lot but then she added it with, "We gotta talk about that."
That addition slightly made my mindstate a bit more complicated. My eyebrows met and I sort of started thinking that maybe she wanted to talk about the two of us. . . although that's not the best case. I wouldn't want her asking about that, not when she might just not be that ready for a relationship.
Something is telling me that making moves to her when I am practically not even entirely sure where I'm headed with things might just complicate her life. I know she had a bad break up, I don't know with whom and what the reason is but I do know that she doesn't need another bad relationship that would come after.
I wouldn't give her that, for sure if she'd give me a chance.
It was rare when I'd notice these foreign feelings, but at least I know that I do like her because she kept running through my mind at times I'd least expect.
"We'll talk," I assured her. "The route to the park is a long way. We will talk."
Once we got to my car, I opened only one car door to get my jacket. Taylor was leaning against it, staring at the leaves overhead and most probably the skies when I told her we should probably get walking.
"On second thought, can we ride your car?" She asked. . . always with the second thoughts.
I walked over to the car door to the passenger seat and opened it for her without another word. She went inside and I did too right after her.
Inside the car, it was less chilly and much more comfortable, it feels much better this way.
I looked at her, "Show me the way."
"You don't really know?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I know Queens, not Manhattan."
"Well, what a waste of a car if you don't drive around a lot," she commented. "Okay. Please wake me up just in case I fall asleep."
"Or I'll just kidnap you so little Timmy would have a good use for my picture he took earlier," I suggested.
"Wake me up," she said with far more certainty than earlier. Now she's too sure she'll fall asleep. She turned her back on me and placed her arm on the window where she laid her head.
And I told her to lead the way so now I have to base everything off from my memory.
Letting her sleep just like that seemed like a huge mistake but I knew somewhere in my boggled mind that I liked it that way. Not that I get to look at her for very long periods of time, I liked the feeling of having her in the same place with me at this late hour and everything else seemed serene, calming.
Looking at the roads ahead and the lights running behind, my mind was in pure ease. At times, my head would go back through the scenes of earlier and how delightful it really was.
Once or twice, maybe a bit more, I asked for directions to the nearby place and I got to the part that's quite near the lake and the Central Park Zoo.
As I was leaning over to wake her up, she unlocked her seatbelt and opened the door with the announcement, "We're here!"
I've got to admit, I got surprised a bit but it never did really show that much. I'm not that jumpy when it comes to creepy or surprising things anyways. I let out a distressed sigh and made my way out.
I followed right after her as she led the way to God knows where.
"I think the zoo is closed," said Taylor. "I mean, being one a.m. and all." She smiled up and started laughing. She turned around and continued walking along the greens. "Hey have you ever watched that movie?"
"What movie?"
"The one that happened in New York?"
"Be specific," I said because I could recall a hundred movies that happened in New York.
"The love story?"
"Be more specific," I said, a bit more gruffly than earlier but I mean nothing of it. "I've watched a load of love stories that happened in New York."
"Like?"
"Maid in Manhattan, Kate and Leopold, Serendipity uh--"
"That one! Serendipity!" She raised her voice a bit. She faced me and started walking backwards. "Why do the best love stories happen in New York?"
"I've never seen a real-life love story that happened in New York," I told her as I put my hand in my pockets.
"Ha, you're right. But do you believe in that?"
"Believe in what?"
"Destiny?"
I answered with an outright, "No."
"Really? You don't believe in the, you-two-are-destined-for-each-other concept?" She asked.
"No."
"Really?" She asked and smiled once more. "I believe there are some stories written in the stars."
"Like?"
"Ours?" She raised an eyebrow.
"We're not even anything yet."
"We don't have to be anything, I won't push you into it. I like you, I do but if you don't want --"
"I want it." I said casually so it wouldn't come out to awkward even though it sounded like that in my head. My outside appearance was a complete lie, I'm not as confident as I am inside yet I try to be. Admitting things to a girl and offering her something that might be considered too soon. I don't really care. I'm already old enough for it. I can handle it. "I've been making it clear, I do."
"Yeah, but --" she blinked a few times, pretending to distract herself by taking her ponytail off. "Hmm?"
"If you want, we could be anything," I replied. "Right now."
"I-I uh, H-Harry uh--" she stuttered out, making me think that she isn't ready yet. I understand if she's not but earlier, she was in complete contrast of herself. I just didn't mind it too much. "W-Well, we haven't uh--"
I sighed, "Decent dates and such?"
"Kind of b-but that's not--" Taylor took a very deep breath and stopped in her tracks. "Holy hell, I've never been this stuttery my whole life! I never ever lack words!" She almost exclaimed and I found it partly amusing. "Oh God, oh God, oh God."
She ran her fingers through her curly blonde locks. Truth be told, I never saw her like this. She never really did stutter that much, she never acted like a nervous schoolgirl.
"I-- I-- th-this--" she shut her eyes tight, very tight and then slowly opened them after a moment or two. Then, she fixed her hair and took a very deep breath as I await her answer for my not-so-direct proposal.
"Harry," Taylor called out quietly. "I swear, I would actually say 'yes' with that kind of um q-question from --from you."
And I sense a 'but' coming along.
"But," she trailed on. "Can I decline dating for now?"
I gave her a smile, "Of course." I must admit I saw it coming, but that never let the disappointment any less unbearable. I understand, I really do but of course there are still questions.
We kept walking and it was much quieter this time. The lights flashes by every once in a while, music in some parts, and between the two of us, silence.
I kept my eyes on her boots, how she walked and how bouncy her steps were despite the tension from earlier.
And then those stopped, much to my surprise. I did so as well and now focused more on her face.
"L-Look, it's not that I don't like you," said Taylor in her usual soft voice. "I do. But, I -- my mind's just messed up for the moment and I'm tired."
Despite the slight blurriness, I do see how tired her eyes are and it almost made me want to smile. . . almost.
"We should probably cut our walk short, you're obviously tired already."
"Let's just walk around a little longer." It was not a request, not a suggestion but a certain thing that we'll do because she said so.
I nodded. "Alright then."
This time, she didn't lead the way. She held my hand and we both walked side by side.
It's times like this that makes me realise how complicated Taylor could be at times, and how much more complicated we would be if we do, in fact, start dating.
That would be a disaster.
But I know it'll be worth it.