Alessandro
Think. That's all that I can do here. Think about what's happening, what could happen and what has happened. I think about the different possibilities if anything in my life up to this point had been different.
What if my mother hadn't died? For some reason my father never loved me but he was still civil. I could have led a semi-normal life. I would have at least one person to love me and I wouldn't have gone through all the pain and torture that was inflicted upon me. Nicholas would still have his parents and he would have been spared the torture as well.
What if my father wasn't even in the Mafia to begin with? Maybe he wouldn't have been such a cruel man. Perhaps, he could have been something normal like a businessman or a lawyer. He could have even helped people instead by being a doctor. If I would have had a normal father not only would I have lived a happier life, but I wouldn't have had to take over as capo. I could have gone to school, chosen a career, partied, have fun, eventually graduated, worked and so forth. I wouldn't be the Alessandro Santos, the Mafia Boss. I would have simply been Alessandro Santos. I would have never had to kill anyone, I wouldn't have to watch my back and live in constant paranoia every second, I wouldn't have people depending on me, I wouldn't have all the pressure I've always had.
What if I had killed Cobra when I got the chance? I shouldn't have waited for as long as I did. I could have been with Amber, happily married and enjoying ourselves in Italy. Maybe going somewhere else. I would take her to the end of the Earth if she wanted me to.
There's only one question I can't seem to find a positive answer to. What if I had never met Amber? Maybe I wouldn't be here right now but he would still be a pain in my ass. He was already a problem for me. If I had never met Amber she would either still be with Dominic or back with her father, she would still be going through the same torture she had gone through all those years before. What if I had met her the day we rescued them but had listened to my initial instinct to ignore her? She would still be caught up in this life because she would have still worked for us. The only problem is she would be much more vulnerable to Cobra's attacks. The truth is without Amber my life would still be miserable, I would still feel empty and I would just continue to fall deeper down the void I was already sinking in. Without her everything would be meaningless and pointless. I don't care what I have to face if it means having her.
In the end everything that has happened in my life has had a reason. As shitty as this exact moment is, I wouldn't have gotten to this point if my life had been any different. If my mother was still alive, my father might have never done what he did. I would have never gotten a chance to meet my best friends Nico and Marcos. If my father had never been a part of the Mafia, I would have never become capo. If that hadn't happened, the Mafia would still be following it's former way of operating. I changed thing for the better, I not only made sure no innocent person is hurt I also have helped rescue so many other people that are being held against their will. I wouldn't have met the family I have today, no Maddox, no Axel, no Vince, no Max, no Mel, no Emily and no Amber. If I wasn't capo then maybe she would still be locked up somewhere and I would have never experienced the love we share. No matter how difficult my life has been I can say I'm happy with what I have now. The past is where it belongs and all that matters are the things I am blessed with now. I would have preferred to not suffer but I can honestly say I wouldn't change anything.
Amber
The moment I get out of the car I feel a lump forming in my throat and my eyes getting ready to tear up. Being in Italy was one thing but being here is just painful. In Italy I missed Ale but it wasn't home, our home. I try to stay strong in front of everyone else but I can feel my composure crumbling. Before they can notice I excuse myself and rush inside and once my foot crosses the doorway I let the tears stream down. I scan the floor observing everything I can before walking over to the stairs with many memories already flooding my mind. Every step I take makes the pain grow a little more. In Italy I was able to refrain from thinking about the memories we had built, all I thought about was him and his smiles, his voice but never about what we had lived together. Here, it was impossible to not think about it all. I reach the door to his bedroom and pause before opening it. I take in a deep breath, push the door open and as soon as I do the memories hit me hard. I shut the door and take slow steps toward the bed. I sit down on the edge as soon as I reach it and close my eyes. I can almost feel Alessandro holding me as we fall asleep, I can almost feel his soft kisses on my forehead as I wake up and I can almost feel as he put his hands gently on my body before making love. I need you Ale. I need you. ThankfullyI was no longer crying because I heard a knock on the door. I compose myself as best as I can before opening the door, hopefully the slight darkness in the room is enough to hide my red eyes.
"Ms. Amber. I've come here to leave your luggage." I look at a man not much older that I recognize as one of Alessandro's guards.
"Thank you." I offer him a smile as he walks in to put them down and leaves. I decide that I need to go speak to the others because they'lll be wondering where I am. I take another deep breath before heading down. I hear the chatter and occasional laughter in the living room and it lifts my spirits if only slightly.
"Amber! Finally! We were wondering where you went." I hear Marcos speak in his loud deep voice. I smile genuinely at him. I look at the men seated here. We had dropped Emily off and I suppose Mel and Cleo had gone to their rooms.
"Well here I am." I smile before sitting down next to Vince.
"What were you talking about?"
"Marcos was just telling us about one time that Nicholas..." I watch a throw pillow fly toward Max and hit him the face. I turn to look at a glaring Nico and can't help but laugh.
"Hey!" Max throws it back to Nicholas but he catches it before it makes contact with his own face.
"Anyway as I was saying..." He gets cut off by a groaning Nico.
"I swear Max..." I cut him off.
"I want to know. Please?" I look up at Nicholas with the sweetest eyes that I can and I watch as he breaks. He sighs.
"Fine." Yes!
"Right, so as I was saying..." He says as he looks over at Nico with an annoyed face.
"...one time Nico was watching a Disney movie and Marcos found him dancing and singing along." I heard some snorts as Max continues between his own laughter.
"He had borrowed a dress from Cleo and was acting out the movie." I watch as Nicholas buries his face in his hands.
"The best part is that it was after he had just turned twenty." I can't help but laugh as I imagine the tall blonde man that I've come to know dancing in a dress.
"I gotta say you've got a nice ass, man." Marcos says and we all laugh. I notice Nicholas glaring at everyone as we laugh. His eyes then land on me and they soften before he starts to laugh as well.
"Talking about funny moments, Marcos, do you remember that one time..." Marcos suddenly stops laughing and interrupts Nicholas.
"No, I don't." I watch as Nicholas smirks at him.
"Oh, I think you do. Why would you deny it before I even said what it was."
"Nico, I swear..." Marcos goes ignored.
"So this one time we went to a pretty crappy place to rescue some people you know. The thing is they held cockfights." He probably notices my confused face.
"A cock is the male version of a chicken. Some people train them to fight and make money off of them, which is also horrible. Anyway..." Marcos throws his hands on Nico's mouth but he simply reacts by putting Marcos into a hold and keeps him down on his lap. He continues to tell the story as Marcos struggles against him.
"Before leaving Marcos had been a little busy with a female friend. He got dressed up in such a hurry that he forgot his belt. This is important. So we get there, right? We attack, let everyone go and as we get the cages out Marcos accidentally dropped the one he was carrying. As soon as it drops, it opens and the furious cock comes out and starts chasing him. You should have seen Marcos running around screaming." Nicholas stops before chuckling.
"I remember him begging for us to help him. The best part? His pants finally fell to his ankles and he ran around like that. He ran outside hoping to escape but like I said it was a pretty shitty place. His pants around his ankles and uneven dirt outside made him fall in some mud. So you have a scared Marcos lying face first in the mud with his pants down, ass in boxers showing and a very angry cock attacking him." I notice Marcos had finally gotten free from Nico's hold.
"Dude! That cock was scary!" I hear Max and Axel snort.
"Was it big?" I hear Max ask and Marcos glares at him.
"Funny." I get a little lost but I don't mind.
"It hurt man!" I laugh at Marcos and try to imagine the whole ordeal.
"Could you walk the next day?" I hear Axel and the rest laugh while Marcos just glares at him. I turn to look at Luca and although he's quiet he still has an amused smile on his face. He surprises me and everyone else as he speaks.
"I remember one time when Nico still lived in Italy. He was only a child." I watch as he seems to be lost somewhere far away and everyone else just looks at him in silence. Nico is the most interested though.
"His father was holding an important dinner. Powerful and respected people were there. I was standing in the hallway when I watch a tiny naked child run past me and into the dining room." I watch as Luca chuckles and I see the smile on the other's faces. I watch Nico carefully and notice the sadness in his eyes mixed with joy.
"I peek in and see Nico running around the table while his father is yelling at him to stop. I don't know how but he managed to get on the table. He started dancing on top. It is one of my favorite memories of him." I smile as I imagine a tiny blonde boy running around without his clothing embarrassing his father.
"Thanks." I look at Nico who spoke.
"I don't have too many memories about that period of my life."
"You were a sweet boy Nicholas. I hope you know I care for you." I watch as Nicholas smiles at Luca.
"What did my parents do?" He looks hopeful, trying to get some information on his parents.
"Your father was angry at first but he started to smile when he saw you dancing on top of the table. He quickly put on a serious face before taking you out of the room. He started scolding you in front of the other but when you got out he laughed. So did your mother. They told you not to do it again but they were not mad. You truly were their greatest joy Nicholas. They loved you very much." I notice Nico's eyes turn glossy but he blinks a few times and composes himself. He offers a smile to Luca.
"Well, I'm very tired so I think I'm going to sleep." I hope everyone else agrees. I want to talk to Nicholas.
"Me too, man I am beat." Marcos stands up. The other mumble in agreement and we each head to our rooms after saying goodnight to each other. Before going to look for Nico I stop Luca.
"Thank you for that. He likes to know about his parents." I see Luca smile.
"I know. But I did it because it was a funny moment. I hope they all learn to accept me soon." I nod.
"They will Luca, they already do. It just takes time to really earn their trust." I excuse myself after and head over to Nico's room.
I knock and the door opens. I stop as I watch a topless Nico open the door.
"Amber! Um, I. Wait." He leaves the door open but he rushes to grab his shirt again.
"Sorry. Come in." I do but I still feel myself in a stupor. His body is much leaner than Ale's but his muscles are well defined. What surprised me though was to see he also has many scars along his torso.
"I just wanted to see if you're okay." I look up at him.
"I am. Thanks for worrying." He smiles at me.
"You know? I wish someone could tell me more about my mom. All I have are my few memories and the hateful narratives my father gave me." I look down but I feel his finger under my chin lifting my face up again.
"If you're anything like her I know she must have been an extraordinary woman with beauty both inside and out." He's always so sweet.
"I've always tried to imagine your parents. From what I've heard they were amazing people and they loved each other and you very much." He nods.
"They were incredible. I miss them and Luca just gave me a little piece of them. I don't have that memory in my mind but knowing it happened and imagining my parents and their reactions is just as good." I watch him smile.
"At least we know they loved us and I've always liked to think my mom looks over me." He looks into my eyes.
"You always look at things in such a beautiful way. I admire you Amber, I truly do." He kisses my forehead and I take few steps back.
"Good night Nico. I hope you sleep well. Tomorrow we have a long day ahead of us." He nods.
"You too little one. Sleep. If you have any nightmares or problems sleeping...you can come look for me." I smile one last time before leaving the room.
"Thank you Nico." I walk out and shut the door ready to face my loneliness and the memories of Ale haunting me. I walk to the room and as soon as I get in I feel a lump in my throat once again but this time I won't cry. I make my way to the shower and once I finish I take a moment to look at myself in the mirror. I look into the eyes of a girl who is undeniably strong but she seems a little tired. Tired of so many bad things happening in her life. She also seems ready though, to get back her happiness. She's never going to give up in life, she's fought through so much and she won't let it all be in vain. I run my fingers over the few scars on my body, specifically the one on my hip. Dominic. It hurts to see it but it also serves a reminder for me. It helps me remember what I've been through and that I can handle what life throws my way. In the end things happen the way they should. Dominic is dead and he paid for what he did to me and the infinite amount of girls before me. The scar reminds me that everything will fall into place as long as I fight hard enough. I'm fighting at the moment and I'll keep doing it as long as I have hope, as long as I make myself stay strong and as long as I have my family supporting me. I walk out and look for something to wear. I look through Alessandro's closet and find a shirt and pants of his to wear. After that I dry my hair a little and finally lay down in the bed. We're going to share this bed again Ale and you're going to wrap your arms around me and never let me go. I fall asleep once again with him on my mind.
______________________________________
"Mrs. Santos, Nicholas, wait!" We were walking down the hallway ready to head to the training room. We had spent the day going over everything that had been done and thankfully everything seemed to be in order. We also planned out some things and we continued Alessandro's planning for this month's rescue. With him or without him here we need to keep things running smoothly.
"Jonathan. What is it?" Nicholas answers to the man that was running after us.
"Kyle just called. We know where Cobra's hiding." I don't know who Jonathan or Kyle are but all that mattered was what he said. They know where he is. We can go get Alessandro.
"Let's go to the office." He pulls me gently and Jonathan follows. We walk in and we each take a seat.
"Tell us exactly what happened." Jonathan nods.
"Alicia was working for Cobra." What?
"Undercover." Oh.
"She was giving Kyle information but she hadn't managed to find out his location. She did and she went to look for him. He then called me. He said he's at the same place. He never left. He knew we would look for him anywhere else but there." I feel my blood boil. We could have found him sooner but we just assumed from the beginning that he wouldn't be there. We had overlooked the simplest possibility of them all.
"Thank you Jonathan." The young man nods before excusing himself and leaving. I watch Nicholas as he observes me.
"Amber..."
"We need to start planning, Luca also still has to find at least one traitor willing to give him information." He nods.
"Let's go train, you still need to be prepared for when we go get him."
"Let's go."