I was extremely lucky and grateful to have people like Colton, Parker, and Lillian in my life. All this time I had thought that they were just going to judge me and scold me for my wrong doings, well Lillian kind of did, but aside from that tiny fact, they helped me out. To my utter shock, I had no idea that Parker would go along with something like this. All this time I had thought that this would be too tough for him, since I’ve been hearing all those rumors going around school, saying how he had developed some sort of feelings for me. But I decided against asking him about it, to avoid the awkwardness of that conversation. I mean if he truly did like me, then he would’ve said something before he agreed to my little scheme.
On the other hand, I wasn’t at all surprised by Colton’s opinion about all this. Of course, he wanted me to go along with this just so my feelings for Jayce would subside. His hatred for Jayce still confused me, I mean, what could he have possibly done to be hated so much by a boy who can’t even hurt a fly.
The school day had just ended, so as of now I was on my way to my locker, to discover Miles leaning against it, with his hands shoved into his pocket.
I stopped right in front of him, with raised eyebrows, “Can I help you?”
He lifted his head up, his eyes meeting my own. By his posture and actions he seemed – nervous.
I gestured for him to step aside, and he did as told.
Putting my textbooks onto the built in shelves, I sideway glanced at him, “Are you just going to stand there?”
My voice seemed to take him out of a trance, and he shook his head quickly, ridding himself of his thoughts, “We need to talk, somewhere private.”
I sneered at him, “So are you past the whole, ‘not speaking to me in public’ thing?”
He sent me a cold look, grabbing hold of my wrist, “Don’t be a bitch about this, it’s bad enough that I have to ask for help from you.”
Instead of responding, I let him drag me to the isolated part of our school, where there were no students or teachers wondering around.
I leaned against the wall, crossing my arms over my chest, “How may I assist you?”
Looking over his shoulder, he adjusted the one strap of his bag, while his other hand stayed in his pocket, “Has Lillian talked about me lately?”
Rolling my eyes, I groaned, “How would I know if she hasn’t even told me about your pasts together?”
“Sorry,” He replied quietly, “I just-, I don’t know. She means a lot to me, and it’s killing me how she just brushed me off like that, no girl has ever done that before.”
“Well, she’s not like any other girl you’ve went after. Besides, aren’t you with Quinn? Does she know anything about this?”
His eyes widened, “Hell no! I can’t have her knowing about my feelings for Lillian.”
I glared at him, “Of course you can’t have her knowing that. You and Jayce are exactly alike! Just because a girl doesn’t have such a high status in this school, doesn’t mean you can just hide how you feel about her! You two are just sick, you know that?”
It’s one thing that Jayce did that to me, but to have the same exact thing happen to my best friend, that’s just wrong.
About to storm off, I was halted by a strong grasp on my arm, “You’d actually think that I would do that to the girl that I love? You really must think that lowly of me.”
“Well can you blame me?” I retorted.
He shook his head; “I don’t want her knowing because I don’t want Lillian to get hurt in any way by Quinn. I mean, you saw what happened when Quinn thought that you and Jayce had a thing together, you got milk poured all over you, I don’t want anything to happen to her.”
I hate to admit this, but at the moment, Miles seems like he could be a better boyfriend then Jayce. My body seemed to calm down a bit; his eyes were filled with sincerity. I couldn’t help but feel bad for him.
I would have never thought that I would feel bad for someone like Miles, ever, in my life.
“You really love her, don’t you?” I said, in almost a whisper.
He let out a chuckled, “Yeah, but she kinda hates me, so…”
I let out a laugh as well, “Well, why don’t you just do something spontaneous, amaze her, do something that’ll get her to look in your direction again.”
He looked at me in disbelief, “How can you say that when the guy she likes is your best friend too?”
“Touché.” I admitted.
I couldn’t give Miles the right type of advice when the other guy he’s up against for Lillian’s heart is Colton. It’s not my place anyways. She saved Colton from dropping everything and just leaving town. With the complications with his father and his mother having a hard time financially, she’s basically all he has.
“Besides,” He drew in a breath, “She’s not going to break it off with caring Colton, for manwhore Miles.”
I giggled, but quickly seized knowing that he wasn’t kidding. He gave me a pitiful expression, obviously feeling upset about his predicament.
I hesitantly placed my hand on his shoulder; trying to comfort him, “Don’t stress yourself over this.”
He noticed my hand, and shrugged it off, trying to play off that he was tough, “Yeah, whatever.”
Once again, he glanced over his shoulder, fixing the bag that was on his bag, “Look, this never happened alright? I-I don’t want anyone knowing that I asked you for advice about Lillian, so don’t mention this to anyone, especially her.”
I nodded, understanding, “Yeah, okay.”
“Oh,” He said before walking away, “can you pass along a message to Lillian, if you get the chance?”
I agreed, urging him to get on with what he wanted to say.
“Tell her, that I miss her.”
With that he walked away, without looking back or another word.
♔
I walked home, instead of waiting for Cameron to be finished with his football practice. Instead of starting on my homework, like I usually did when I got home, I pulled out my phone and dialed the number of the girl who owed me a whole lot of answers.
“Hey Alex, what’s up?” she greeted.
I blew out a breath, “Lillian, we need to talk, about a lot of things.”
She was quiet for a moment, before replying, “Is this about the whole you, Jayce, and Parker thing? Because I could come over if you want, or we can meet up at-“
“This is actually uh, about you,” I interrupted.
I heard a few muffled sounds on the other line, “Oh, do you want to meet up at the coffee shop then?”
I told her a quick reply, and we both agreed to meet in about 10-15 minutes, since the shop was just in town.
The drive was short, and filled with the quiet tune that was coming out of the radio in one of my parents’ car, that I may have forgotten to inform them that I was going to use it, but oh well.
When I arrived at the usual coffee shop, I instantly spotted Lillian’s red head from the door, to where she was sitting at our usual table by one of the windows.
I ordered my usual drink, and took the seat across from her, fiddling with my fingers while doing so. “What’s up?” She questioned, taking a sip out of her own coffee cup.
I sighed, wanting the answers that I deserved, “I have a message for you.”
She looked at me as if I were crazy, laughing normally, “Uh, alright. What is it?”
Here we go. Let’s hope that she’ll tell me the truth about him.
“Miles said that he misses you,” I said slowly.
Her face dropped, she began to mess with one of the bracelets that were worn around her wrist. “Wh-why would Miles say something like that?”
Rolling my eyes, I huffed, “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you two had a secret childhood love together. Maybe because when he went off to Washington with his parents, you had moved out of your old town not sparing him a goodbye. Maybe because when he finally confronted you, you pretended to not know him.”
Her face showed a look of shock, probably astonished to figure out that I knew about her and Miles. Her attention averted towards the steam coming out of the coffee cup in front of her. She did whatever she could to avoid my gaze.
“How do you know about all that?” She mumbled.
I slammed my hand down on the table, startling her, and even myself, “How else? The guy told me himself! I’m surprised too because out of all people, I would’ve thought that you’d be the one to tell me this.”
She apologized, “I’m sorry Alex. It was just something I was ashamed of.”
“Why would you be ashamed of something like that?”
She laughed humorlessly, “Have you even met Miles? He’s like a walking STD, a total jerk and manwhore, if anyone found out about what went on between the two of us, they’d make both our lives a living hell. Me, since most people would think I’m lying about our past. And him, for loving a loser like me.”
I shook my head, “Don’t think of Miles like that Lil, he’s actually a pretty nice guy when it comes to the people he cares about.”
She furrowed her eyebrows, “How can you say that about some guy who helped the spawn of Satan ruin your life?”
“Because I learned not to judge a book by its cover,” I replied, recalling what Jayce had told me at my house a few weeks back.
She sighed, scratching her scalp, “Alex, I can’t just talk to Miles. He’s popular, he’s with Quinn, and I have-“
“Colton,” I finished for her, “Which by the way, you never told me about as well. Some best friend, huh?”
She narrowed her eyes at me, “Well excuse me, you were the one caught up with the infatuation you had with Jayce.”
I huffed, “This isn’t the time to bicker about this, all I want to know from you as of right now is what you’re going to do about Miles.”
She took a sip from her coffee cup, “I don’t know Alex, okay? I don’t know. If he had come to me when he first moved here, things would’ve gone differently. But no he decided to just wait another 2 years, in which those years he became a total jerk, so that’s completely his fault Alex. If he wanted to reconcile with me, he should’ve done it on the first day of freshmen year.”
“He didn’t know Lil!” I exclaimed, “He didn’t! He hadn’t known that this was the town you moved to, because you didn’t bother to tell him!”
She snapped, “Stop acting like you know the full story. And why are you defending him?” She was fuming, “This is the guy that would call you a stalker or a loser, this is the guy who would constantly torment you and make fun of you, this is the guy that pushes every single person in our grade around. This guy is Jayce’s enemy, and I’m surprised that you would defend him as if he needs someone to feel bad for him.”
I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth.
“Give him a chance Lil,” I breathed out.
“Then why can’t you do the same,” She scoffed, “You sit here and try and give me advice about my own love life, when you can’t even handle your own! You say you like Jayce, fine okay, cool. But to just blow him off when he says that he only sees you as a friend? I mean that’s better than when he wouldn’t talk to you in public, right? And now here you are, going with a lie that just blurted out of your mouth. Not only are you confusing Jayce, but you’re beginning to confuse Parker.”
“How am I confusing Jayce when all he sees me is as a friend?” I interjected, “Jayce doesn’t and will never have feelings for me Lil – you, me, the whole damn school knows it. And Parker? What about him? He definitely does not like me that way.”
She laughed, with no humor behind it, “You’re blind Alex, if you can’t see how that boy looks at you when you’re not paying attention, then I don’t know, I really don’t. Jayce has the same look on his face whenever he stares at you from afar. Alex, both of those boys have some sort of feelings for you that you cannot obviously see, and you’re hurting both by faking this relationship with Parker, I know I should’ve said this earlier, but end it now while you still can. You have a chance with Jayce, trust me.”
♔
After everything Lillian had just told me, I couldn’t just sit there in that shop anymore. I abruptly got up from my seat, and stormed out of there before she could stop me. I hopped into my car, and just started driving, driving to who knows where.
I ended up at a park, not too many people occupying it. There were children playing on the slide and swings, a few moms observing them. There were a group of teenagers playing a round of football on the open grass area, while a couple occupied a bench.
I rolled down my windows, and leaned my head against the steering wheel, trying to tone done my headache. I decided to just take a break from thinking about Jayce and Parker, and all that chaos for just a moment, and to think about just anything else.
I lifted my head up, and the couple I had seen before caught my eye. They were laughing together, in sync. I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous, not of the girl, but of the couple in general. I want something like that, the last time I was in a relationship was when high school just began, and all I had was a puppy-love relationship with a guy who meant something to me.
I glanced back at the happy couple.
Do my eyes deceive me?
Cameron Simmons is on a date.
And I’m guessing the brunette girl with highlights is Cassidy Evans.
They appeared so happy together. The way Cam would look at her whenever she laughed, it made me happy to know at least one of us was handling our own love lives.
“What are we looking at?”
The voice made me jump in my seat, and I gasped.
Clutching my chest, I looked over at my rolled down window, “Seriously Jacob? Are you ever in school?”
He laughed, and placed a hand on the car, “If you ever pay attention, you’d be aware that it is now,” He paused to check his phone, “3:56pm, school ended for both of us almost an hour ago.”
I rolled my eyes at him, “What are you doing here?”
“I came here to escape another beating, you see, this park is where I go to avoid Quinn’s brother. After school, if I’m lucky, I manage to walk all the way here until Jayce can pick me up. I just make up the excuse that I’m playing football with those kids over there.”
He pointed over to where the groups of boys were now taking a break from their game.
“How’s your nose?” I questioned, observing the band-aid looking strip on the bridge of his nose.
He simply shrugged, adjusting the backpack on his back, “It’s healing, I got discharged from the hospital not too long ago. The downside is that Emily keeps trying to poke at it each chance she gets.”
I laughed, just picturing adorable little Emily trying anything to just get a poke at his nose, “So do you need a ride home?”
He nodded sheepishly, “Yeah, if that doesn’t trouble you.”
I looked at him as if he were crazy, “Since when did you care if you troubled me?”
He chuckled, and made his way to the other side of the car, hopping into the passenger seat. I took one last look at Cam and Cassidy, and sped off towards the direction of Jacob’s house.
“Alex, I have a question for you,” He stated out of nowhere.
I urged for him to go on.
“If you like my brother so much, why are you lying to him?”
I raised my eyebrows, keeping my gaze on the road, “What are you talking about?”
He sneered, “Don’t think that I don’t know about your lie to Jayce, saying how you’re going on a date with Parker. It would be believable if Parker was the kind of person to steal his best friend’s girl.”
“I’m not his girl,” I snapped. “And how did-“
“I know all about that,” He finished for me, “Jayce talks to me Alex, and that’s a first because he’s never opened up to me about a girl, besides you.”
“He doesn’t like me that way Jacob, he told he only saw me as a friend, and I’d be stupid to not know what that means.”
We were appearing closer to his home, “A guy can’t just reveal his feelings to a girl like that, you should know that.”
“You’re 14, what do you know about revealing feelings for a girl?” I asked jokingly.
“Hey,” He raised both of his hands, “I watch television, I know what’s up.”
I parked next to curb in front of his house, and he quickly scrambled in his seat for his bag, getting out of the car, “Thanks for the ride Alex, and don’t worry, I won’t tell Jayce about your feelings for him until the time is right.”
He flashed me a familiar smirk, before running off inside the house.
That little bastard.
♔
Instead of meeting up with my group of friends for lunch, I ditched the cafeteria, and headed towards the library, just to clear my head. I sat down at one of the tables in the back, one of my favorite spots in the whole building. I pulled out a novel that I’ve been recently working on, and began reading.
About maybe 50 pages later, I sensed someone pull up a chair to my table. Placing the book face down, I glanced up, kind of startled to see Jayce occupying the space in front of me, “What are you doing here?”
Instead of answering my question, he replied with one of his own, “Why are you going out with someone you don’t have feelings for?”
“Why are youalways listening to someone who cheated on you?” I retorted.
“Why are you avoiding the fact that me saying that I only see you as a friend, upsets you?”
I glared at him, “Why do you care so much about me going out with Parker?”
“Why do you care so much that I’m always listening to Quinn?”
“Stop answering my questions with your own Jayce,” I snapped.
He scoffed, “Is it bad that I want answers from you?”
“There you go again,” I muttered, ticked off.
“Fine,” He huffed, “Each question we just asked, we both get the answer to it.”
“Alright then,” I stared at him blankly, “What are you doing here?”
He shrugged, “I came to speak with you. Now, why are you going out with someone you don’t have feelings for?”
“How would you know if I have feelings for him or not?”
“Because,” He said, “If you did, you would’ve argued my question the moment I said it, instead of asking me a question of your own.”
Ignoring his previous statement, I continued on, “Why are you always listening to someone who cheated on you?”
“I don’t always listen to Quinn,” He argued.
“Uh, yeah you do,” I replied, “You cater to her every beckon call.”
He said a bit angrily, “I do that because I want to see a reaction out of the girl I like. I know she hates Quinn, so if she really liked me, she would have said something about it.”
“Next question,” I mumbled, kind of embarrassed.
He smirked, “Okay, why are you avoiding the fact that me saying that I only see you as a friend, upsets you?”
“It doesn’t upset me, I never said it did,” I lied.
Hopefully he couldn’t see past my fib.
He rolled his eyes, “You know, if it bothers you, you should say something, before anything drastic happens.”
I immediately avoided his gaze, ignoring what he just said, “Why do you care so much about me going out with Parker?”
Now it was his turn to try and get out of this one.
“I care because he’s my best friend, and especially because of you. I wasn’t lying when I said I really cared about you, because I do Alex, I genuinely do.”
I gave him a blank face, “Stop being cheesy.”
He waved me off with his hand, “You’re just not Parker’s type.”
I crossed my hands over my chest, obviously offended, “What’s that suppose to mean?”
“Oh, don’t get all butt hurt about this. You’re just not the type of girl he’d go for,” He explained, as if I was some little child.
“That was exactly what Colton said about you,” I muttered, but loud enough for him to here. I guess I should really start working on my muttering/mumbling skills because apparently they don’t seem to work.
“Wait, wait, wait,” He repeated, “Colton talked about me to you? What did he say? Why did I come up in the first place? Did he tell you anything personal? Was he mad?”
My eyes widened at how fast his questions were coming at me. It was as if he had some deep dark secret that only Colton knew, and didn’t want anyone else to find out about, “Calm down Jayce. I just told him about that one time where we went out together after your game,” My voice seemed to lose its volume whilst revealing what I had spoken about to Colton.
I witnessed his face contort into something that seemed angry yet terrified at the same time, “Why the hell would you do that Alex? That was private thing between just the two of us, I don’t appreciate you telling anyone, especially him.”
It’s funny, yet coincidental that Colton and Jayce speak about each other in such similar ways. I began to feel a little irritated, but decided to brush it off since we were in public, and because of the whole lying to Jayce thing, so getting mad at him wouldn’t be the right thing to do, “Why is it such a big deal? It’s not like I told him what we talked about, and if you have a problem with Colton, tell me. I don’t like that you two hate each other, for some unknown reason.”
“We don’t hate each other, he hates me.”
“Why,” I questioned. “And please, don’t give me some bullshit answer about how it’s nothing or how you can’t tell me, I want the truth.”
Don’t criticize me for being so hostile about him giving me the truth, I already feel guilty as it is about lying to him.
He sighed, sounded like he had bad news, “Alex I-“
“Just stop, you’re not going to tell me anyways,” I interrupted. “You can tell me about your family, but can’t tell me about what happened between you and my best friend.”
“Well why don’t you ask him yourself, instead of interrogating me about it,” He said a bit defensively.
“You don’t think that I didn’t try? Come on Jayce, I’m pretty sure it isn’t that bad,” I tried to convince him, lightening the mood a bit.”
He slammed his fist against the table, causing a few students to turn their heads towards him, “Alex, I can’t tell you everything about my life! It’s my life okay? You don’t need to know every little detail about it!”
I couldn’t help but feel a little hurt by that. My gaze was set on the table in front of me, not really knowing how to retaliate to that. I looked towards him; he had a grim expression on his face.
My intentions weren’t to anger him, it just irritated me how kept keeping all these secrets from me. In the back of my head, I still thought about how he got so worried when I had told him about me telling Colton about how we went out that one night. The look on his face puzzled me so much, in all honesty, why was he so worried? I highly doubt it’s because he’s scared of him. Colton is my best friend and all, but he can hardly hurt anyone even if he wanted to. Well that’s how I saw him.
“I should probably go,” He began to get up from the table, when I beat him to it.
I sighed, and gathered all of my things together, “No, I’ll go. It’s my turn to run away from my problems.”
Before I had a chance to fully get away from him, he latched onto my hand, making me face him, "You can't leave first."
He really does confuse me sometimes. "Why?"
"Because I can't stand seeing you walk away from me."
He grasp on my hand softened, as he said those words out loud. He ran his thumb over the top of my hand soothingly. There was something in the back of my head that told me not to believe him when he said that, but the expression on his face contradicted any negative thoughts I had about that.
“I thought you were mad at me though,” I said a bit sheepishly.
He let out an audible breath, “Oh, I still am. But that doesn’t mean that you mean any less to me. Look, you know that my family and personal life are sensitive subjects for me, and I would appreciate it if you’d respect me for that decision.”
I understand his predicament, but I can’t stand any more secrets. I hate all the hiding, and all the reserved behavior, it’s frustrating.
I clutched my books against my chest, “And I hope you respect that I don’t like secrets. You’ve told me more than enough about your family, and all I’m asking is this one thing that you and my best friend have against each other. So when you’re ready to tell me whatever the hell you guys are hiding from me, you know how to reach me.”
I turned my back on him, ready to exit the now, semi-empty library, when his voice stopped me in my tracks, “And when you’re ready to tell me that you and Parker are a total lie, give me a call.”
-
Authors Note:
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR 3K READS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH THANK YOU!
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-queenfreakco