Nicholas
We had carried the bodies away and now the disposal is up to the men that always take care of these situations. I had hurried as much as I could because I want to go look for Amber, she had done everything perfectly. I'm so fucking proud of her but I know her and she probably felt bad for doing something like this. She truly is the most innocent and sweet person I have ever met and I saw the way she rushed to leave, it must have been difficult for her.
After properly excusing myself I go look for the golden eyed girl who always invades my thoughts. I don't know if I should go to the gym or to her room. She loves the garden but she definitely isn't there given that I saw her walk into the house. She usually goes to the gym to let out her frustrations but something tells me she's most likely in her bedroom. As I make my way to her the memories of what transpired this morning come to mind. She had managed everything so gracefully. She knows how to be patient and keep calm, the complete opposite of Ale and I. While all of us were ready to punch them, Amber used her words. I had fought against myself to not go and beat some sense into the little shit that had dared insult her but my cupcake maintained her calm exterior. I think we have all been learning from her, I do think this Mafia needed a feminine touch or more like and angel's touch. She is so different from everyone out there and she has been unknowingly teaching us to be much less impulsive and much more humane. What I admire most is that she almost always uses her heart first, follows her instincts while being smart about it. I have only seen her lose her composure on two occasions and that was yesterday while trying to protect me and this morning with that son of a bitch Renato. She has always been strong but before she didn't realize it, the difference is that now she knows it and she makes sure to stay that way.
I'm finally at her door and I knock while calling out.
"Little one?" I don't hear an answer. Maybe she isn't here after all but just to be sure I open the door and take a peek inside. Once I see her I open the door completely and let myself in. I look at the girl on the floor with a tear stained face, at least when she is sleeping she seems to be at peace. I remember she used to have constant nightmares and I'm glad that they haven't been haunting her like before. I get on my knees in front of the sleeping beauty I have before me. I take a quick second to admire her since I hardly ever have a chance to. I feel my chest hurt as I think about her suffering. Why does she deserve all of this? She is a much better person than any of us and all she has received is pain again and again. I wish I could just hold her and tell her everything will be okay and somehow put together all the pieces of her broken heart. She won't be fine until she has Alessandro back. My desire for her to be happy is infinitely stronger than the pain I feel from not being able to have her for myself. I will continue to do everything I can to get my brother back and to give Amber her happiness back.
I sigh and then put my arms underneath her. I pick her up and stand, thankful for the fact that she is so easy to carry. She shifts and snuggles up to me. I take another moment to imagine what it would be like if she loved me. I would be able to sleep next to her and wake up to her beautiful face. I would be able to hug her and kiss her. I would be happy. I break out of my thoughts and lay her onto her bed. I feel cold now that I don't have her body close to mine. I sit down on the edge next to her and take off her boots. In the process she stirs and I hear her wake up.
"Nico?"
"Yes little one, it's me. How are you? I came to look for you and found you on the floor. I know you've been crying princess. But why?" I move closer to her and she sits up. I place a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"Tell me Amber." She looks up at me and I see her slightly puffy eyes that by no means take away from her beauty.
"It was just really intense I guess. I had to watch them die...it's just something I've never had to do. It's just hard. It's hard to be strong in front of everyone and doing what needs to be done when on the inside you don't really want to." I knew she was feeling guilty.
"Hey, it's not your fault princess. I'm actually so proud of you, you can't imagine how much. You were perfect. Ale would be proud too even if he would be freaking out at the same time." I see her smile and give me a small giggle.
"Thanks. You know? I like it when you call me princess...my mom used to call me that." I see her distant gaze as she seems to lose herself in her memories.
"Really? That's sweet." She nods.
"Yeah." She looks at me.
"Thank you for checking up on me and for getting me off the floor." She blushes a little. I've noticed that every now and then she seems to feel comfortable and a little bit of her old self shines through. I know the tough exterior is just an act and I enjoy the few moments when she lets herself relax.
"No problem. Look, I have to go take care of some things right now but you should stay here and rest a while. I want you to relax. We're leaving after tomorrow and there isn't much left to do and we'll take care of it for you. Ok?" I see her nod.
"Okay but I think I'll go check on Emily. I haven't been able to hang out with her."
"That's a great idea, how about I walk with you to get room and then I'll leave to take care of things."
"Ok." She smiles and gets up. She puts on her boots and we walk out.
"So I guess the doctor said it's fine for Marcos to fly?" She asks
"Yes. I asked him myself and he said that it would be preferred if we waited a little more but that he has recovered quickly and seems to be doing well. He said to just make sure Marcos gets a lot of rest and that he continues to tend to his wound."
"Ok."
"Well, here we are. I'll see you later." She smiles at me.
"See you later, Nico."
Amber
As Nichola retreats I knock on the door but get no response. I knock once more.
"Em?" I decide to try to call her instead. After a few rings she answers.
"Amber? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just came to look for you but I guess you aren't in your room are you?"
"No, but I was actually about to head back. I'll be there in five."
"Ok." With that I hang up and walk into her room. I lay down on her bed while I wait. After a few minutes the door opens.
"Hey girl!" She practically throws herself onto the bed. I have to say that the few moments I've spent with her I've notices she's been a little bit more lively. Emily is always energetic and full of attitude but she's been acting even happier and it's hard not to notice with the huge smile she has plastered on her face.
"Hey Em. What has you so happy?" I smirk at her and I notice she fights to erase her smile.
"What do you mean?" Oh so now she wants to feign innocence.
"Emily, I know you just as well as you know me. So, spill." She sighs in defeat.
"I think I like someone." I open my mouth in shock before smiling.
"Em, that's great! Tell me about him! How did it happen? Do you think he feels the same? When did you meet him?" She places a hand up to my face.
"Jeez! Calm down Amber!" I quickly shut my mouth.
"Man, now I get why everyone always tells me to shut up." We both laugh at her comment.
"Well, we've been hanging out a lot lately and I feel like I can be myself without a filter. I know I can be a bit much to handle sometimes but he doesn't seem to be bothered by my personality. He always makes me laugh and when I'm with him the time flies by. I'm not sure if he feels the same way. He flirts with me all the time but really, that's just the way he is so I don't know if with me it's genuine or not." I'm so happy for her. Maybe having a crush on someone seems pretty normal but ever since Emily and I were rescued from Dominic I know she's been having an even harder time with it. I know that she still hurts because of it even if she doesn't show it and it's great to know that there is something that is able to help her feel better.
"What's his name? How did you meet him?" I see her hesitate before looking at me in a guilty way.
"Um, well I actually already knew him..." She trails off and I know that means that it's someone from back home.
"Ok...BUT WHO?" She can't keep me like this.
"Marcos?" She kind of whispers. I open my eyes wide. Marcos.
"Oh, well that's great! Just...be careful. He's a great guy and I know that he would never hurt someone on purpose but we also don't know much about his romantic relationships. You know he's flirty and...just don't give your heart out until you're sure it's the right guy." I smile at her.
"Thank you for worrying Amber and I promise I'll be careful. Trust me, I don't want to be hurt. I actually never thought about him in that way before coming here. I mean, he's attractive but they all are!" I laugh. She is right, I have no idea how it's possible for all of them to be so good looking.
"It wasn't until he got shot and had to spend his days bedridden. You've been busy and I was lonely. I would head to his room to have someone to hang out with and we spent hours just talking about everything and nothing." She sighs and I can't stop myself from smiling after seeing her grin.
"I was actually with him right now but since he decided he was ready to get out of his bed he has to work. He told me we're leaving?" I hadn't told Emily!
"Yeah, I'm sorry for not telling you!" She shakes her head.
"Please, Amber I know how busy you've been. I understand, really."
"They left Italy about two days after they took Ale. We have to go back to look for him there."
"I'm sorry Amber, I haven't asked you how you've been." I smile at her in reassurance.
"I've been fine Em. Don't worry. I know you like to protect me and I appreciate it but I'm not as weak as people think I am. It hurts, of course but I've been able to stay strong. I'm getting him back and I'm ready to do everything it takes." She hugs me.
"I know he'll be with you again soon." I hug her back.
"Thanks." We let go after a while and I look at her while smirking.
"I think I need to go have a little talk with Marcos." She widens her eyes. I get up and sprint out of the room while she stays behind. She tried to run after me but if I was out of shape she was even worse.
"Ambeeeeeer!" I ignore her while running. My best guess is that he's in the office with Nico and the rest. I turn to look behind me to confirm that Emily had given up but just as I was about to slow down I bump into someone. They steady me. I take a step back as soon as I see who it is.
"Careful, this is the second time you bump into me." I see a smiling Angelo. He seems different. He doesn't give me an intense gaze nor do I feel the slightest bit intimidated. We stand in silence not really knowing what to say.
"Uh, yeah. I want to apologize again. I promised I would leave you alone and I will stay true to my promise. I am a man of my word." I see the sincerity in his eyes.
"I know. Thank you. I have to go now Angelo." I wave at him as I leave.
"Have a nice day." He calls out to me.
"You too." I answer.
I walk to the office in a bit of a daze. How is it possible for someone to change their attitude so quickly? I guess last night must have really had an impact on him. Once I reach the office I knock.
"Come in." I hear Nico.
"Amber? What's wrong? I told you to rest. We'll handle everything." I look at everyone else and realize they're busy. I hadn't thought this through.
"I just wanted to check up on everything. Are you sure there's nothing I can help with?" He shakes his head.
"We were just finishing up our plans for tomorrow. We have to go check some things at the warehouse and give the men instructions for the next few deliveries and shipments." I nod.
"Oh, okay."
"Well, you know what to do. Rest for now." I see them get up and they all start to leave the room offering smiles and waves as they leave.
"Do you want to watch a movie? We don't really have anything to do today." I hear Nicholas ask me. I know I was supposed to train but I was honestly drained.
"Yeah, but I want to speak to Marcos first. How about you get changed and pick out a movie? I'll make some popcorn after I'm done speaking with Marcos and meet you in my room." He smiles at me and nods.
"Sure. Don't take to long."
"I won't!" I turn around and search for Marcos. Aha! There he is.
"Marcos!" He turns around in shock.
"Amber? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Can we go outside quickly?" He seems a little taken aback.
"Uh, yeah. Sure." We walk out and sit down on a bench.
"Well, a few men told me that they've seen you and Emily spending a lot of time together." He bites his lip and I notice the lightest blush on his face.
"Yeah, I mean I was in bed all the time and she didn't have anyone to talk to." I nod while smirking.
"Mhm. So you were just hanging out? As friends?" He nods.
"Oh please Marcos, you are a grown man. You do know I'm great at reading people right? I know when someone's lying." He sighs and groans.
"Ok, so maybe I like spending time with her but I don't think she feel anything more than friendship for me. Please, don't tell her or anyone else, they're going to use it against me any chance they get." I laugh.
"Don't worry I won't tell anyone. I also won't tell Em but you should really tell her that you like her as more than a friend. It doesn't mean anything has to happen between you but it's best if you both know where your relationship is heading. You can either build a friendship or gradually build something else. Just think about it. In the end the worst thing that could happen is rejection but Emily is a good person. I swear she won't do anything to hurt your feelings."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks Amber." I wink at him.
"Just make sure I'm the maid if honor at your wedding!" I say while I giggle and run away.
"Hey!" I can already imagine the blush on his face. I walk inside and head to the kitchen. I make the popcorn before heading to my room. As I walk in I see a sleeping Nicholas on my bed. He had changed into sweatpants and a white fitted shirt. I have to admit that I have always found him very attractive. I know that if I had ever felt something for Nico, it's not at all compared to the love I have for Ale. Maybe if I had never met Ale and had given Nicholas a chance I might have eventually fallen for him, but that's just how I know that I made the right choice. With Alessandro I didn't have to think about anything, it just happened, I had no control and I believe our feelings for each other are as pure as they could be. I grab a piece of popcorn and throw it at his face. I throw another and he twitches. I throw a few more until he wakes up and groans in frustration. I start to laugh and he gets up immediately.
"Oh, Amber. I'm sorry, I guess I'm more tired than I knew."
"Don't worry. Do you still want to watch the movie? If you want to sleep that's fine."
"No, let's watch the movie. Today I picked a horror movie. If you get scared you can hold my hand." He winks at me. He outs the movie in and I have to say it's great. I have to hold my laughter a few times because someone did get scared but it wasn't me. I had so much fun watching Nicholas trying to act brave. He would jump often and I saw the looks of fear on his face. Once the movie's over we get up and I let out the laughter I had been holding in.
"How is it possible for a grown Mafia man to be scared from a movie that's clearly fake?" I wipe my tears.
"Ghosts are scary okay? I can shoot a living person but how do you kill something you can't see?" He tries to defend himself and I just start laughing again. He follows soon after and we're both in a laughing fit. It feels good to laugh, for a moment things feel normal. Soon our laughs begin to die down and I notice Nicholas staring at me, I recognize that look it's the same way Ale looks at me.
"I love you." I hear Nico speak but I don't really listen. He'd implied it before but for him to actually say it is a little to hard for me. I see his face hold remorse and shame.
"Amber, I'm sorry. I-I won't say I didn't mean it because I did but I am sorry. Please, I don't want things to be awkward between us again. I can't stand to have you avoid me. Don't do this again, please." He looks at me and I know that he has never let himself be so vulnerable in front of anyone. He's showing me what he feels, he isn't holding back. The crudeness in his voice as he asks me to not let this come between our friendship is enough to break me. I hug him because even if I have never felt what he does, I care for him and it hurts to see him any pain.
"I won't Nico. I won't. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." He holds me back and we sit there, each of us lost in our own thoughts.