Once again I find myself longing for you
Once again I find myself wanting your attention
Once again I find myself looking for a message that isn't there
Once again I find myself wanting you more than ever....
I do all these things in a vicious cycle. I could go a few week without thinking about you and then I see something that reminds me of you and all of a sudden you're all I can think about for weeks and months on end. It doesn't help that I can't have you anymore....
I'm glad to be talking to you again because that makes my day so much better. When I see I have a message from you I light up and my mood improves a lot. I started slipping back into my old habits again... I don't eat hardly at all.... I don't drink much, I don't sleep.
I miss you so much... You won't ever know how much I care about you and how much I still want you... I want to try to make things better but I don't know how... I don't even know how to talk to you anymore because I can't get excited, I can't be myself... Don't get me wrong, I love talking to you, I just wish things could be the way they were again....
~Unsaid Things to him~