"You're a disgrace."
"A monster. A fucking monster."
"You don't deserve them. You don't deserve anyone."
"You don't even deserve to be called a person after all the shit you've done."
"You think..."
"...you honestly think in this sick, twisted brain of yours..."
"...that they still consider you their son?"
"Their brother?"
"You're nothing to them. Less than nothing."
"Nothing but a fucking monster."
Tyler's eyes shot open, and he immediately called out for Josh.
But Josh wasn't there.
No one was.
Tyler was alone, lying in the middle of the stage. He slowly propped himself up on his elbows, wincing as he rubbed his forehead with one hand.
Tyler pushed himself up into a sitting position, crossing his legs and sitting criss-cross like a child. He sat there, in the center of the stage, for a long while, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. His mind was still fuzzy around the edges.
If he didn't look insane before, he definitely looked insane now.
As he stared out into the empty pit in front of him, he faintly heard footsteps coming from the stage right entrance behind him.
Turning his head over so slightly, he looked over his shoulder and saw a familiar face walking into the pit.
"Josh!" Tyler smiled. He ran his hand through his hair and giggled as Josh walked over to him.
"Hey Ty," Josh replied, leaning up against the stage. "You okay?"
Tyler laid down on his stomach, resting his chin on his hand and swinging his legs back and forth in the air.
"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Tyler tilted his head and raised his eyebrows.
Josh blinked. "You passed out, Tyler," he said.
"Oh...I dunno what was wrong with me," Tyler shrugged. He then drew his eyebrows together and frowned. "I had a bad dream though, Josh."
"Hm?" Josh sounded, leaning forward and pressing his lips against Tyler's forehead.
"It...It was my family," Tyler whispered, locking his eyes with Josh's. "They were here."
Josh remind silent.
"Funny dream, huh?" Tyler said with a light, sarcastic laugh. "It was so scary, Josh. Like a nightmare."
Josh closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them again, they were misty with tears. "Tyler..." he began, but his voice trailed off.
Tyler's small smile, childish disappeared. He licked his lips and opened his mouth to say something, but he never got the chance.
"They are here, Tyler."
Tyler's eyes widened. His jaw went slack, and his feet dropped to the stage floor with a thud that resonated through the pit. If he wasn't already laying down, he would've fainted again.
Slowly, uncertainly, he sat up and hopped down from the stage, Josh holding onto his arms to keep him steady.
But Josh holding on to him wasn't enough. His legs felt like rubber. Black spots began covering his vision, and for a moment he felt like he was going to black out again.
Josh draped one of Tyler's arm over his shoulder and wrapped his arm around his waist to prop him up.
"I'm right here with ya, Ty," Josh said reassuringly.
"No," Tyler shook his head and set his jaw. "No, I want to talk to them alone."
Josh's eyes narrowed in confusion, and he looked over at him. "Are you sure?" He asked.
Tyler bit his lip and nodded, but the look in his eyes made Josh wonder if he really was sure.
"Okay..." Josh said finally. "You can stand?"
Again, Tyler nodded.
"You got your gun on you?" Josh asked, raising an eyebrow.
Tyler scoffed and looked over at Josh. "A gun! While I see my family?" He exclaimed, putting his hand over his heart. "Who do you take me for, Josh?"
Josh just rolled his eyes and held out his hand. Tyler looked down before pouting and pulling his gun out from under his shirt.
"There," he declared, dropping the semi-automatic in Josh's hand.
"And...?" Josh said expectantly, hand still outstretched.
Tyler let out an exasperated huff and knelt on the floor. He rolled up his pant leg and pulled out the knife he had hidden in his sock.
"There," he said as he stood up again, slapping the knife onto Josh's palm.
"Other leg, Tyler," Josh ordered as he shoved Tyler's weapons in his own belt.
Tyler rolled his eyes and stomped his foot like an annoyed teenager. "That's all, Josh!"
Josh eyed Tyler suspiciously, but a small smirk played on his lips.
"Are you ready?" He asked, intertwining his hand with Tyler's and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"I know you see me standing here," Tyler shrugged, chewing on his bottom lip. He always did that when he was nervous, but pretending not to be, Josh had noticed. "I'm ready."
Josh nodded and leaned over, pressing his lips against the small bit of exposed collarbone peaking out from his shirt-Tyler's sweet spot.
"Fine, if you say so," Josh smirked when he felt Tyler shudder under his touch. He straightened and gave Tyler's hand another squeeze. "I'll go get them."
Josh reluctantly let go of Tyler's hand, Tyler frowning as he felt the warmth leave him.
He stood and listened to Josh's footsteps becoming quieter and quieter as he walked out of the pit, away from him.
Tyler licked his lips and opened his mouth.
"Hi, mom."
Tyler cleared his throat and shook his head. "H-Hey, mom," he whispered under his breath. "How are you?"
He laughed and shook his head again, a blush rising to his cheeks.
"How are you?" He repeated. "Hello, how are you? No, no, that doesn't sound right."
He began pacing back and forth, laughing and talking and practicing what he was going to say under his breath.
"M-Momma?" He squeaked. "Hi. How are you?"
Tyler shoved his hands in his pockets and began pacing faster and faster, his voice rising with every word.
"I'm doing good, can't complain," he laughed lightly. "How are things at home?"
Tyler bit his lip, but this time it wasn't because he was nervous. He was trying to contain his smile.
He took his hands out of his pockets and gestured with them, as if he was having a conversation with an actual person, not himself.
"Oh, things here have been going great," he answered himself. "Just great, Momma...Come on now, don't say that. No no, I'm fine, really! I'm great! There's actually something I wanted to run by you."
He bounced up and down on his heels as he paced, his conversation with himself getting rather exciting.
"Ya know Josh?" Tyler continued, scratching the back of his neck. "I have to talk to his dad first, but I was thinking on maybe propo-"
Tyler suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes grew to the size of the moon, and his hands fell limp at his sides.
He felt completely numb, but he didn't faint. He stood completely still as he watched four figures walk into the pit.
For a long, long while, the four people just stood there, all the way on the other side of the room as Tyler. They stared at him.
Tyler saw. He saw how pale their faces were, how they were standing all huddled together. He saw their hands shaking, the terror in their eyes.
Tyler took a step forward.
They took a step back.
Tyler opened his mouth, but cobwebs and flies came out. He could find absolutely no words in that twisted up brain of his.
"Y-You...You don't have to be afraid," he said finally. His hoarse, low voice resonated in the silent pit.
Tyler took another step forwards.
"I'm not gonna hurt you," he said with the ghost of a laugh. "It's me. It's Tyler."
The four people standing together, as far away from Tyler had possible, remained silent. Eyes wide, mouths slightly agape, they stood.
"I said I don't wanna hurt you," Tyler said again, his voice growing louder.
He shook his head, regretting his words already.
"I...I'm not gonna hurt you," he corrected himself.
Tyler took one step towards them, then another. They had stopped moving away from him, but they still looked petrified.
"It's m-m-me..." Tyler's voice broke, and a choking sob escaped his lips. "I-It's Tyler."
The tears finally came. He looked down at his feet to hide the warm, salty tears rolling down his cheeks.
He just stood there, in the middle of the pit, and cried for what seemed like hours. Cried right in front of his family. His quiet sobs echoed in the empty arena.
When it seemed like there were no more tears left, Tyler sniffed and wiped his eyes.
"C-C-Can I..." he stuttered, raising his eyes to his family. "Can I at l-least ha-have a hug? J-Just for a little wh-while?"
One member of his family stepped forward, but another put out their arm and stopped them.
His mother.
His brother.
His mother shot his brother a look, then pushed passed him. She walked across the pit, swallowing back her fear, and took Tyler into her arms.
Tyler was in shock. He stood there, stiff as a board, while his mother held him. He stared with wide eyes over her shoulder at the rest of his family.
His brother.
Two of them.
Both of his brothers.
His sister.
A ring on her finger?
She's married now?
I missed my sister's wedding?
A long, flowing pastel pink shirt.
Almost down to her thighs.
Her hands were folded under her stomach.
Is she?
Is she going to have a baby?
I'm going to be an uncle?
His father.
No.
No father.
His father didn't come.
He didn't want to see him.
My own fucking father didn't want to see me.
Tyler's eyes slowly closed, and he squeezed them tight to stop anymore tears from spilling out. Slowly, hesitantly, he raised his arms and returned his mother's embrace.
His mother sucked in a sharp breath when Tyler hugged her, as if she was afraid he would break her. His arms wrapped around her shoulders, his fingernails dug into her skin, his head buried into the crook of her neck.
More tears slipped from his eyes. He didn't care; he sobbed. Soon, the entire sleeve and neckline of his mom's shirt was soaked with tears.
"I'm s-s-sorry for everything," Tyler cried, his voice muffled in his mother's shoulder. "Everything I-I've done."
His mother pulled away and looked at Tyler for an agonizing moment. She put her hands on his shoulders and stared right into his misty eyes.
"I don't forgive you, Tyler," his mother said. Her hesitant voice quivered when she said Tyler. She hadn't even said his name in years.
Tyler's eyes welled with even more tears as he stared at her.
"I don't forgive you at all," she continued. "For anything. I don't, and I'm not sorry about that. I do not forgive you."
Tyler squeezed his eyes shut and bowed his head in shame, his tears dripping onto the cement floor.
He suddenly felt a warm hand cup his cheek and raise his head.
He was met with his mother's kind, watery eyes.
"But I will never, ever stop loving you."
His mother hugged him again.
Then his sister.
His brother, the youngest.
Finally, his last brother joined them.
Five years.
Five fucking years.
This time, they stayed.
They didn't watch Tyler struggle from several rooms away.
They stayed.
Tonight, they stayed.
♡♡♡♡♡
♡♡♡♡♡
Well frick frack diddily dack patty wack snick snack crack pack slack mack quarterback crackerjack biofeedback backtrack thumbtack sidetrack tic-tac I'm crying.
Thank you everyone for supporting this book, I love you. You're the best kiddos a mom could ask for.
Keep your eye out for one shots sprinkled somewhere in future.
Also, something I'm very, very excited for:
I made a playlist for this book!
The next chapter will be the songs/important lyrics.
The playlist is called "The Run And Go" and you can listen to it on my Spotify, @ lovely-liz
Please go give it a listen, I spent two weeks making it and I worked really hard on it. Hope you like it!
Your mom,
-Liz. ♡
And now excuse me while lock myself in my room and finish writing the third book of Mute.